DH cheated on me, and it would've been easier to be a widow

[Anonymous]

What if you were a widow and found out after your DHs death that he cheated. Would his dying be less painful?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:I would much rather my husband have an affair and leave me, rather than die. This seems really warped thinking to me. If you love him so little that you would rather he was dead, why do you care that he has left you?

This is a good point.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:How can he claim he is 100% straight if he cheated with a man??

he was the pitcher and not the catcher? he was walking around one day, tripped, and his d*ck fell into a guy? I dunno how he could claim such a thing, but he must be fraught with guilt (?, for the lack of a better term)

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:I think the comparison is not okay. I am widow and devastated as are my children. I know you are hurting but don’t minimize other people’s suffering. My husband is dead, if he had only cheated on me, at least my kids would have a dad. And by the way, the sympathy and kindness lasts about 5 months.

This +1,000,000

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:What if you were a widow and found out after your DHs death that he cheated. Would his dying be less painful?

Yea... my neighbor's H died in a hotel with a prostitute. Bye Felicia.

[Anonymous]

The way OP is thinking disturbs me as it is reminds me of how violent men who murder their wives feel if their wife leaves them. Better they are dead than living their own life. It’s like an ownership over that person.

[Anonymous]

Reading comprehension. Try it, people.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Reading comprehension. Try it, people.

+1

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Reading comprehension. Try it, people.

+1

OP here. Thank you. I never said I wanted him to die. I said I think it would've been easier FOR ME than what I'm going through now. Those are not contradictory statements.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Reading comprehension. Try it, people.

+1

OP here. Thank you. I never said I wanted him to die. I said I think it would've been easier FOR ME than what I'm going through now. Those are not contradictory statements.

Still short sighted and damn selfish.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Reading comprehension. Try it, people.

+1

OP here. Thank you. I never said I wanted him to die. I said I think it would've been easier FOR ME than what I'm going through now. Those are not contradictory statements.

Still short sighted and damn selfish.

Really?

Which is easier dealing with a will or dealing with divorce lawyers.

No contest a death is easier.

[Anonymous]

yeah i've said for YEARS its better to be a widow(er) than divorced. There's instant sympathy, first of all. Not questioning.

My mom's cousin and his wife 'separated' but he kicked the bucket before they could divorce. Widow! She actually did a lot better. And he was a total....what's the word here....anus hole.

Of course, widowing yourself is......not really something you want to get involved in.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Reading comprehension. Try it, people.

+1

OP here. Thank you. I never said I wanted him to die. I said I think it would've been easier FOR ME than what I'm going through now. Those are not contradictory statements.

Like Stewie Griffin said...."There's always been a lot of tension between Lois and me, and it's not so much that I want to kill her, it's just, I want her not to be alive anymore."

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Reading comprehension. Try it, people.

+1

OP here. Thank you. I never said I wanted him to die. I said I think it would've been easier FOR ME than what I'm going through now. Those are not contradictory statements.

Ignore some of these people. Of course it would be preferable to be a widow versus a divorcee.

I can only add I would divorce since he's seeing men...for many reasons. If you stay you'll be wasting years imo.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:OP here. No kids, but we've been together since college, 22 years. Losing my financial stability because he makes twice my salary, and we just put all our money into renovating our "forever" home that I won't be able to afford by myself and we won't be able to sell it for what we've put into it.

I'm sorry for your loss, 19:14, and I appreciate the sympathy from PPs. Just having a rough night.

If you’ve been together since college it sounds like you’ve never truly lived on your own. That can be intimidating, I get it. Especially when you’re used to a certain lifestyle.

I lived alone for many years before marrying. It’s not that bad. There are many lovely one bedroom apartments with great amenities. Pool, fitness center. Maybe start fresh in a warmer place since you have no kids. You’ll make new friends. It won’t be as bad as you think. You can rebuild. Plenty of divorcees live in such communities. I’m married with kids and I’ve had wonderful friends who are divorced. I consider them brave for extracting themselves from their own personal hells. Takes guts.