Why do some women choose to be a sidepiece?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Why are there so many cheated on wives on this thread?

There are a ton of OW on this thread because they are all alone during the holidays.

The stereotype of the other woman is quite different in the DC area. Most are married, so they are not alone. There are too many single men in DC, there's no reason to scrap the bottom of the barrel with a married guy.

DC has a ton of single white men 40 and up.

They are lonely whether married or not. Education and money does not save you from self esteem issues.

[Anonymous]

I am a side piece or OW/FWB with someone much older and I love it, because I’m not involved with anything very serious right now. I’ve been with him on and off in an FWB thing, and I’ve dated other people on and off. Were I to end up in something more serious, I’d probably let go of the sexual part of our relationship.

This guy is in a long term partnership/relationship with his girlfriend. I know for sure he’s had another affair years ago and it’s possible she’s been with someone else as well. They may have a dont ask/don’t tell agreement, though it’s not really my business. The thing is we are all friends and have a lot of mutual friends and I think some people might suspect. This particular circle of friends has a more casual view of sex as it is, but the main thing is that we are extremely attracted to each other and it’s hard to let go. It’s not really good for either of us because I should find someone I can actually be with and he is cheating nonetheless even though he isn’t actually married. I’ve just gotten spoiled by the great sex and I every time I try to make it happen with someone else it’s just...meh.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:I've neither been a cheated on wife or a woman who has dated a married man, but from what I have seen around me, the notion men only cheat "down" is just not true. There are definitely some who do (I had a longterm boyfriend who was like this) but there are an awful lot of late 40s early 50s guys with kids married to the women they met in college when they were kind of nerdy and awkward who have become successful and are looking to trade up. They're not even overall letches, creeping after young things, they're after the 30 somethings who are hotter, fitter, and more successful professionally than their SAHM wives. At least in my sphere, this is pretty rampant. Never been there, but see a lot of second marriages like this and wouldn't say they're downgrading.

This is so true. Most men I know who have had or are having affairs do so with far more successful women than their wives. THe women aren’t often single. . And most of them aren’t that much younger than the man. For a very successful man, a 20 something would be far more trouble. And to have an affair with a SAHM would rarely have much appeal

FWIW - most of the SAHMs I know having affairs are doing so with their personal trainers or pool cleaners.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:I am a side piece or OW/FWB with someone much older and I love it, because I’m not involved with anything very serious right now. I’ve been with him on and off in an FWB thing, and I’ve dated other people on and off. Were I to end up in something more serious, I’d probably let go of the sexual part of our relationship.

This guy is in a long term partnership/relationship with his girlfriend. I know for sure he’s had another affair years ago and it’s possible she’s been with someone else as well. They may have a dont ask/don’t tell agreement, though it’s not really my business. The thing is we are all friends and have a lot of mutual friends and I think some people might suspect. This particular circle of friends has a more casual view of sex as it is, but the main thing is that we are extremely attracted to each other and it’s hard to let go. It’s not really good for either of us because I should find someone I can actually be with and he is cheating nonetheless even though he isn’t actually married. I’ve just gotten spoiled by the great sex and I every time I try to make it happen with someone else it’s just...meh.

TL;DR

Scanned the 1st and last sentence. The rest is probably self absorbed “my story is different” BS.

Nobody wants you so you settle to be a side piece. You might find a worthwhile partner if you stop and work on yourself. Right now you don’t deserve better. There is hope though, get therapy.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Why are there so many cheated on wives on this thread?

It’s just a few. But they are angry elves.

Don't assume they are all wives.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:I've neither been a cheated on wife or a woman who has dated a married man, but from what I have seen around me, the notion men only cheat "down" is just not true. There are definitely some who do (I had a longterm boyfriend who was like this) but there are an awful lot of late 40s early 50s guys with kids married to the women they met in college when they were kind of nerdy and awkward who have become successful and are looking to trade up. They're not even overall letches, creeping after young things, they're after the 30 somethings who are hotter, fitter, and more successful professionally than their SAHM wives. At least in my sphere, this is pretty rampant. Never been there, but see a lot of second marriages like this and wouldn't say they're downgrading.

If they were nerdy and awkward then they’re still nerdy and awkward now. They might just be richer. Who wants a sexual relationship with someone who’s not hot? Wouldn’t that defeat the purpose?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I am a side piece or OW/FWB with someone much older and I love it, because I’m not involved with anything very serious right now. I’ve been with him on and off in an FWB thing, and I’ve dated other people on and off. Were I to end up in something more serious, I’d probably let go of the sexual part of our relationship.

This guy is in a long term partnership/relationship with his girlfriend. I know for sure he’s had another affair years ago and it’s possible she’s been with someone else as well. They may have a dont ask/don’t tell agreement, though it’s not really my business. The thing is we are all friends and have a lot of mutual friends and I think some people might suspect. This particular circle of friends has a more casual view of sex as it is, but the main thing is that we are extremely attracted to each other and it’s hard to let go. It’s not really good for either of us because I should find someone I can actually be with and he is cheating nonetheless even though he isn’t actually married. I’ve just gotten spoiled by the great sex and I every time I try to make it happen with someone else it’s just...meh.

TL;DR

Scanned the 1st and last sentence. The rest is probably self absorbed “my story is different” BS.

Nobody wants you so you settle to be a side piece. You might find a worthwhile partner if you stop and work on yourself. Right now you don’t deserve better. There is hope though, get therapy.

+1

The bottom line is - no one is a side piece who could be a wife.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I am a side piece or OW/FWB with someone much older and I love it, because I’m not involved with anything very serious right now. I’ve been with him on and off in an FWB thing, and I’ve dated other people on and off. Were I to end up in something more serious, I’d probably let go of the sexual part of our relationship.

This guy is in a long term partnership/relationship with his girlfriend. I know for sure he’s had another affair years ago and it’s possible she’s been with someone else as well. They may have a dont ask/don’t tell agreement, though it’s not really my business. The thing is we are all friends and have a lot of mutual friends and I think some people might suspect. This particular circle of friends has a more casual view of sex as it is, but the main thing is that we are extremely attracted to each other and it’s hard to let go. It’s not really good for either of us because I should find someone I can actually be with and he is cheating nonetheless even though he isn’t actually married. I’ve just gotten spoiled by the great sex and I every time I try to make it happen with someone else it’s just...meh.

TL;DR

Scanned the 1st and last sentence. The rest is probably self absorbed “my story is different” BS.

Nobody wants you so you settle to be a side piece. You might find a worthwhile partner if you stop and work on yourself. Right now you don’t deserve better. There is hope though, get therapy.

If you were secure in your personal life you wouldn’t spend so much energy judging someone else’s.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I am a side piece or OW/FWB with someone much older and I love it, because I’m not involved with anything very serious right now. I’ve been with him on and off in an FWB thing, and I’ve dated other people on and off. Were I to end up in something more serious, I’d probably let go of the sexual part of our relationship.

This guy is in a long term partnership/relationship with his girlfriend. I know for sure he’s had another affair years ago and it’s possible she’s been with someone else as well. They may have a dont ask/don’t tell agreement, though it’s not really my business. The thing is we are all friends and have a lot of mutual friends and I think some people might suspect. This particular circle of friends has a more casual view of sex as it is, but the main thing is that we are extremely attracted to each other and it’s hard to let go. It’s not really good for either of us because I should find someone I can actually be with and he is cheating nonetheless even though he isn’t actually married. I’ve just gotten spoiled by the great sex and I every time I try to make it happen with someone else it’s just...meh.

TL;DR

Scanned the 1st and last sentence. The rest is probably self absorbed “my story is different” BS.

Nobody wants you so you settle to be a side piece. You might find a worthwhile partner if you stop and work on yourself. Right now you don’t deserve better. There is hope though, get therapy.

You don’t bother to read yet you offer your opinion anyway.

Believe me hon, plenty of men want me. I’ve rejected dozens of men who just aren’t right, or who I don’t like as much as I like my AP. If someone good enough came around, then I’d let it go.
I’m sorry your relationship is so dull that you feel the need to make yourself feel superior to others.

[Anonymous]

The wives superiority in this thread is something else especially given that some of their husbands are cheating on them, we know this because of stats. But he chose them so I guess it’s OK. I used to be like you and then my husband cheated. He married me, yes, but he f***ed around and ai promise you “he chose me” did not make that hurt less.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I am a side piece or OW/FWB with someone much older and I love it, because I’m not involved with anything very serious right now. I’ve been with him on and off in an FWB thing, and I’ve dated other people on and off. Were I to end up in something more serious, I’d probably let go of the sexual part of our relationship.

This guy is in a long term partnership/relationship with his girlfriend. I know for sure he’s had another affair years ago and it’s possible she’s been with someone else as well. They may have a dont ask/don’t tell agreement, though it’s not really my business. The thing is we are all friends and have a lot of mutual friends and I think some people might suspect. This particular circle of friends has a more casual view of sex as it is, but the main thing is that we are extremely attracted to each other and it’s hard to let go. It’s not really good for either of us because I should find someone I can actually be with and he is cheating nonetheless even though he isn’t actually married. I’ve just gotten spoiled by the great sex and I every time I try to make it happen with someone else it’s just...meh.

TL;DR

Scanned the 1st and last sentence. The rest is probably self absorbed “my story is different” BS.

Nobody wants you so you settle to be a side piece. You might find a worthwhile partner if you stop and work on yourself. Right now you don’t deserve better. There is hope though, get therapy.

You don’t bother to read yet you offer your opinion anyway.

Believe me hon, plenty of men want me. I’ve rejected dozens of men who just aren’t right, or who I don’t like as much as I like my AP. If someone good enough came around, then I’d let it go.
I’m sorry your relationship is so dull that you feel the need to make yourself feel superior to others.

Oh, honey.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:+1

He chose his wife.
He didn’t choose you and he never will.

I’m good with that.

I can’t imagine having so little confidence that it wouldn’t bother me to always be someone’s second choice / never their priority. I deserve better. YMMV.

What is better? A cheater?

I am not his second choice, it is he is my first choice. And I am fine that he is married to you, who deserve better. Is he really better by sleeping with you occasionally? Maybe for you it is. I can't imagine having so little confidence that it would not bother you that your husband sleep with other women.

This is hilarious because what you don't get is CHEATERS LIE!! Who said that he sleeps with his wife occasionally? The liar?? Okay. You're getting played, but you're not intelligent enough to realize or care. Cheaters always lie. They lie to their wives and to the sidepieces. That's how that works. You think he's soooo into you that he's honest with YOU? C'mon now. Please tell me you're smarter than that.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:The wining and dining are also pretty fun. I have a very nice collection of some fine wines.

You know there’s literally a word for selling sex for expensive stuff right?

Dating?

[Anonymous]

No one chooses it. They just ran out of other options.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:I am a side piece or OW/FWB with someone much older and I love it, because I’m not involved with anything very serious right now. I’ve been with him on and off in an FWB thing, and I’ve dated other people on and off. Were I to end up in something more serious, I’d probably let go of the sexual part of our relationship.

This guy is in a long term partnership/relationship with his girlfriend. I know for sure he’s had another affair years ago and it’s possible she’s been with someone else as well. They may have a dont ask/don’t tell agreement, though it’s not really my business. The thing is we are all friends and have a lot of mutual friends and I think some people might suspect. This particular circle of friends has a more casual view of sex as it is, but the main thing is that we are extremely attracted to each other and it’s hard to let go. It’s not really good for either of us because I should find someone I can actually be with and he is cheating nonetheless even though he isn’t actually married. I’ve just gotten spoiled by the great sex and I every time I try to make it happen with someone else it’s just...meh.

This whole sitch just sounds nasty. He's screwing around, the wife's screwing around, you're screwing around. He's screwing you. I hope there are condoms involved in all this screwing because it just screams STDs.