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[quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous]This such a sad story.  And it's sad that everyone is saying just to not date him.  He may be a great person, although he's obviously led a really sad, troubled life.

1.  I would absolutely assume that he was sexually abused as a child.  Probably repeatedly, very likely by multiple people.

2. He might be bi, but I don't think that's a given.  There are boys who are sex trafficked who have sex with men because they are forced to -- that doesn't mean they are bi.  And there are lots of women who sleep with (or marry) men they aren't attracted to in order to have financial or other security.  Most straight American men wouldn't do that, but for a kid that grew up raped by men, he might not have the same psychological barrier to sex with men.  (Like girls who are sexually abused as minors seek out similarly abusive relationships as young adults -- it's likely what he knows and grew up with, so it may be "normal" to him, or was at that point in his life.)

3.  You need to assume that he has major ongoing psychological trauma.  That doesn't mean you shouldn't date him, but just have your eyes open.  I'd be somewhat concerned about why he's not in therapy any more.  It may be that he takes breaks, and then goes back, and that's fine, but I'd want to make sure he's realistic about the help he needs and what his triggers are.

4.  He has a very high risk for STDs, and you should be really careful about that.  You may want to ask for an HIV test, and definitely be consistent about using condoms.

You don't say anything about yourself, but you need to think about your own situation.  For instance, if you have a young child, this relationship is probably not the one for you.  [/quote]+1. My thoughts exactly. I feel sadness for him and his childhood. I would be his friend for a long time before venturing into romantic territory.[/quote]

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