Do Women Really Not Want to Work?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Are women still really looking for a man who makes enough money so they don’t have to work? My DWsems very jealous of my SIL who is a SAHM. I will note that my brother is not a “high earner” in the DCUM sense. He’s an O-6 in the army. But she gets all the perks and social status of bring an officer’s wife. I will also add my DW had her SAHM days, but our kids are grown and in college. She also has an Ivy degree and likes things like fancy cars. So, if you didn’t expect to work why did yo ge the degree and if you want to stay at home you’ll need to sacrifice ... no more fancy cars, designer handbags, etc. I’m willing to work in this p, but you’ll be driving a Honda and shopping at Walmart.

Your kids are in college.

What’s your issue right now? You want your wife to get a job, now???[/quote]

If someone wants a fancy car, that person ought to go out and earn it.

She managed your whole home and raised your kids and continues to do so. While you do you what you sicker fun and exciting - into travel for a pseudo buraurcsry multilateral bank.

She can have whatever car she wants. bFD.

Go to private industry if you have an family budget issue.

I expect, and have always expected, my DW to work. Period. Full stop. It's what my mother and grandmother did. It's called being an adult and being able to take care of yourself.

She does not continue to raise the kids. They have left, but I am the one they call with serious life matters. Not their mother. They know that I was always the parent that trusted them to make their own decisions, and not chopper in to save them.

She can have whatever car she wants if it fits the budget or she pays for it herself. You just don't unilaterally get to decide you deserve an $80K luxury car and expect your spouse to pay for it. And I am so sure if any of your DH showed up with a fancy car without talking to you about it you would be sending him back to the dealer with his tail between his legs.

[Anonymous]

of course they don't want to work. at first they wanted equality and all, but now they've been in the workforce and know it sucks. screw that, most women i know would be happy to be a sahm

[Anonymous]

feminism sold us a bill of lies.

women had a great deal before all this liberation crap. feminism screwed it up.

now we're realizing we gave up a cushy existence to be office drones and push paper.

this is why we are jealous of women who get to SAHM.This is why we have the mommy wars.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:of course they don't want to work. at first they wanted equality and all, but now they've been in the workforce and know it sucks. screw that, most women i know would be happy to be a sahm

It does suck. We have structural economic problems in this country that dissuade women from working full time. We don’t support them socially or economically. Why would anyone voluntarily take that on if they didn’t have to?!

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:feminism sold us a bill of lies.

women had a great deal before all this liberation crap. feminism screwed it up.

now we're realizing we gave up a cushy existence to be office drones and push paper.

this is why we are jealous of women who get to SAHM.This is why we have the mommy wars.

We should be coming together to take down the patriarchy that created this! Not fighting amongst each other!

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:feminism sold us a bill of lies.

women had a great deal before all this liberation crap. feminism screwed it up.

now we're realizing we gave up a cushy existence to be office drones and push paper.

this is why we are jealous of women who get to SAHM.This is why we have the mommy wars.

My Mom worked. My three sisters work. Most of the adult women I know work.
I have never heard any of them spout this drivel.

[Anonymous]

I don't. And my DH does not want me to work either... win-win.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:feminism sold us a bill of lies.

women had a great deal before all this liberation crap. feminism screwed it up.

now we're realizing we gave up a cushy existence to be office drones and push paper.

this is why we are jealous of women who get to SAHM.This is why we have the mommy wars.

My Mom worked. My three sisters work. Most of the adult women I know work.
I have never heard any of them spout this drivel.

Exactly. The financial freedom - you cannot put a price on that!

[Anonymous]

I took 6 years off while the kids were little and don't "need" to work, but I like working. I also think it's very important for women to be able to support themselves and their families should the unimaginable happen.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Before I married and had kids, I thought I wanted the option to stay home. When I actually had a baby, I knew I wasn't capable of being an SAHM.

I'm the total opposite! Never imagined I'd stay home but once I had my first, knew I couldn't go back. Fortunate to be able to stay at home but I absolutely DO WORK. Childcare, housecare, family care is no joke. So when you ask do women really not want to work, OP, I think you may be confused about what staying at home entails.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:There is very little societal support for working mothers. No maternity leave, scarce expensive childcare, no limits on hours employers can extract from employees.

It is a wonder that anyone has children.

Sadly this is a class thing. My employer has very generous benefits. I also find work makes my life much easier. We have school aged kids and a daily housekeeper. I haven't ever operated my own laundry, I dont go to the grocery store, dont clean my own house (have both housekeeper and a weekly deep cleaning), and dont organize my own closets. I come home at 5pm each day, (when I'm not WFH) to an organized home, kids who have completed their homework and a from scratch healthy meal that is 50% prepped, I just do the finishing touches. I spend my entire evening with my DH, kids, or simply curled up on the sofa enjoying a book. However you will never find me doing chores. If I chose to SAH (and believe me, I could with DHs income) no way could I justify a 30hr a week housekeeper to do the dirty work that quite frankly is boring and tedious. I'd be happy to never step foot in a grocery again in my life. If I didnt work, it would just be flamboyantly over the top.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:feminism sold us a bill of lies.

women had a great deal before all this liberation crap. feminism screwed it up.

now we're realizing we gave up a cushy existence to be office drones and push paper.

this is why we are jealous of women who get to SAHM.This is why we have the mommy wars.

yeah

[Anonymous]

I would love it if I worked full time, and put my focus on my career, and DH were a SAHP. The problem is that he would be happy to stay home, but not do the crap that needs to be done--he doesn't cook or clean or do finances, and is completely disorganized. He would do drop offs, pick ups, grocery shopping and yard work. But I'd have essentially the same load I do now, only without his income. So My choices were work full time, do 80% of the household stuff and outsource the other 20% with the dual HHI, or stay at home, raise kids and do all the housework--but be reliant on DH for financial support. That really scared me--anything could happen and I would worry about returning to the work force. Plus, I like my career, even if I don't like how much I work.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:feminism sold us a bill of lies.

women had a great deal before all this liberation crap. feminism screwed it up.

now we're realizing we gave up a cushy existence to be office drones and push paper.

this is why we are jealous of women who get to SAHM.This is why we have the mommy wars.

My Mom worked. My three sisters work. Most of the adult women I know work.
I have never heard any of them spout this drivel.

wow really? most women I know feel this way.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:There is very little societal support for working mothers. No maternity leave, scarce expensive childcare, no limits on hours employers can extract from employees.

It is a wonder that anyone has children.

Sadly this is a class thing. My employer has very generous benefits. I also find work makes my life much easier. We have school aged kids and a daily housekeeper. I haven't ever operated my own laundry, I dont go to the grocery store, dont clean my own house (have both housekeeper and a weekly deep cleaning), and dont organize my own closets. I come home at 5pm each day, (when I'm not WFH) to an organized home, kids who have completed their homework and a from scratch healthy meal that is 50% prepped, I just do the finishing touches. I spend my entire evening with my DH, kids, or simply curled up on the sofa enjoying a book. However you will never find me doing chores. If I chose to SAH (and believe me, I could with DHs income) no way could I justify a 30hr a week housekeeper to do the dirty work that quite frankly is boring and tedious. I'd be happy to never step foot in a grocery again in my life. If I didnt work, it would just be flamboyantly over the top.

You can totally justify the housekeeper if you can afford it, and trust me, you would find worthwhile ways to spend your time if you wanted to.