I don't understand parents who are flashy with their wealth but send their kids to public school

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:OP here. I clearly did touch a nerve. Predictably I suppose.

I want to clarify that what I find odd is not that there are SOME wealthy families who send their kids to public school, but that there’s a particular obsession at some public schools with being flashy. YSL handbags are like the least expensive designer handbags you can buy - but people buy them in part because they scream “I’m expensive” even to those who know nothing about handbags. And I guess I don’t understand that mentality - wanting to look expensive to strangers - when MOST of those women are not super wealthy. And most wealthy women I know don’t carry an entry-level YSL logo handbag.

Anyway, i don’t really understand what it is I’m getting at, but this thread is helping me realize it’s less about school choice and more about displays of wealth and their meaning that I find confusing, and interesting, particularly in certain subcultures (where half the moms carry the same handbag).

At this point you should just name the school that you are talking about.

Oh, I think we all know which school OP is talking about.

I don't! I'm a public school parent in MoCo, and I've never seen anyone carry a YSL purse at our school.

I'm at a 22207 public, and I've never seen anyone carry a YSL bag.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Does anyone know anyone who is truly wealthy/old money who sends their kid to public school? I have not seen it, no matter how much lip service is paid to public education. This is excluding very small annexed/enclave districts; there could be a couple there.

+1. Very rare. It's like when broke people try to rationalize driving a junker car with "all the rich WASPs drive old Volvos." No, they don't. All the WASPs I know drive at the very least brand new loaded Tahoes, 4dr Mini Cooper, Jeep Grand Cherokees ... if not new Teslas, Range Rovers, loaded S-Class Mercedes.

+1

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:I'm in N. Arlington and frankly there are a lot of moms of a certain type: they all have YSL logo handbags, huge diamond rings and other expensive jewelry, often blonde hair, expensive clothing, etc. And they all send their kids to public school. I'm just wondering if anyone else has observed what I have.

[Anonymous]

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Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

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I don't! I'm a public school parent in MoCo, and I've never seen anyone carry a YSL purse at our school.

I'm at a 22207 public, and I've never seen anyone carry a YSL bag.

That is because those are some truly trashy-looking handbags. I don't care what anyone spent on it.

[Anonymous]

Teases out their flyover state middle class roots. Maybe they've come into some money, but they're still tacky and unsophisticated.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:OP here.

Yes, I'm being so judgmental! And I feel guilty about it. But, I just don't understand it. It's the FLASHY part I don't get.

We live in McLean and kids go to public. DH and I both went to public. We have a seven figure income. I have a lot of designer bags. I get a couple per year and have accumulated many over the years. Bags are not even on my radar. DH and I also both drive what you probably consider luxury. I could care less about cars but I picked a smooth driving comfortable car that happens to be more expensive than a minivan. We also have a 3 row Volvo. That is our minivan.

We can easily afford private. Just prefer public.

[Anonymous]

Pp here. I was just thinking what I would have done if I won the billion dollar lottery. I remember thinking I would keep them in public school.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:OP here.

Yes, I'm being so judgmental! And I feel guilty about it. But, I just don't understand it. It's the FLASHY part I don't get.

Lemme explain, OP: They can be FLASHY with other things because they are not spending all their money on private school. (And, tbh, when you choose to live in North Arlington, part of the draw is that you don't NEED to send the kids to private school b/c the schools are already good! Most private school tuition is really just people paying for the privilege of sending their kids to school with other kids whose parents are wealthy and/or value education. N. Arlington parents don't have the same kind of wealth as kids in elite private schools in DC. So if they sent their kids to private school, they would be the poors there, honestly. But sending their kids to public school lets them be spendy on things like LV purses and big SUVs. They are among their people there, so it's all good.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:I'm in N. Arlington and frankly there are a lot of moms of a certain type: they all have YSL logo handbags, huge diamond rings and other expensive jewelry, often blonde hair, expensive clothing, etc. And they all send their kids to public school.

The thing that I find weird is not just that they spend a lot of money on things other than tuition (private school is crazy expensive, and I understand the choice to go public) but that they seem to spend money on things that make them LOOK wealthy but they are obviously not that wealthy since their kids go public. I see a lot of expensive handbags at my kids' private school, but they are almost always Celine or Tod's or Ferragamo or other less flashy brands than a YSL logo, and plenty of the richest families drive a minivan (so practical, no matter how lame) whereas these public school moms in N. Arlington are so often in flashier luxury cars.

I'm trying hard not be judgmental, but I just don't understand the culture of being really flashy with money (I mean, I don't like YSL handbags for that reason to begin with) and I especially don't understand it among people who send their kids to public school.

I'm sure I hit a lot of buttons with this post, I'm just wondering if anyone else has observed what I have.

These are people that care about themselves more than their children. They are all over Walt Whitman high school too.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Pp here. I was just thinking what I would have done if I won the billion dollar lottery. I remember thinking I would keep them in public school.

Oh hell, no. Your kids haven't been in private so you have no comparison, right? I have one in private on scholarship and it is just complete night and day to my other 2 kids. Amazing. Public is teaching the masses and just bringing up the rear. And by private, I mean decent college prep private. Not parochial school.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Pp here. I was just thinking what I would have done if I won the billion dollar lottery. I remember thinking I would keep them in public school.

Oh hell, no. Your kids haven't been in private so you have no comparison, right? I have one in private on scholarship and it is just complete night and day to my other 2 kids. Amazing. Public is teaching the masses and just bringing up the rear. And by private, I mean decent college prep private. Not parochial school.

Pp here. We make a few million per year. We can afford private easily. DH and I both are Ivy League educated.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Teases out their flyover state middle class roots. Maybe they've come into some money, but they're still tacky and unsophisticated.

People who send their kids to public school are tacky & unsophisticated???

You sound lovely...

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Pp here. I was just thinking what I would have done if I won the billion dollar lottery. I remember thinking I would keep them in public school.

Oh hell, no. Your kids haven't been in private so you have no comparison, right? I have one in private on scholarship and it is just complete night and day to my other 2 kids. Amazing. Public is teaching the masses and just bringing up the rear. And by private, I mean decent college prep private. Not parochial school.

Pp here. We make a few million per year. We can afford private easily. DH and I both are Ivy League educated.

Exactly. We have a new worth of over $10 million in our 30s, multiple Ivy degrees each, & send our kids to public.

I went to Andover, btw, so do have a measure of comparison.

Some parents (& kids!) just prefer public (for a variety of reasons).

[Anonymous]

My kids went to public schools that produced winners of Pulitzer Prizes and National Book Awards as well as many respected scientists and business leaders. But I don't flash huge diamonds or drive luxury cars. I don't even own a vacation home.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Your premise is wrong. There are plenty of wealthy families who PREFER public school over private school.

I am a product of excellent European private schools. Today, none of the still-excellent schools I went to are nearly as expensive as the DC area privates. I simply do not want to give money to the latter, which will go to luxurious facilities, athletics, administrators pockets, maintenance of those acres of pristine environmentally-unfriendly lawns and unnecessary tech in every classroom... when private school teachers are really not great because they are paid less than public school teachers. It's very easy to have good academic results when you select at entry. If the money went to excellent teachers, I would reconsider. But it doesn't, and it never will in this country.

+ 1000 and many public schools here are BETTER than many privates. Fact.