I don't understand parents who are flashy with their wealth but send their kids to public school

[Anonymous]

I'm in N. Arlington and frankly there are a lot of moms of a certain type: they all have YSL logo handbags, huge diamond rings and other expensive jewelry, often blonde hair, expensive clothing, etc. And they all send their kids to public school.

The thing that I find weird is not just that they spend a lot of money on things other than tuition (private school is crazy expensive, and I understand the choice to go public) but that they seem to spend money on things that make them LOOK wealthy but they are obviously not that wealthy since their kids go public. I see a lot of expensive handbags at my kids' private school, but they are almost always Celine or Tod's or Ferragamo or other less flashy brands than a YSL logo, and plenty of the richest families drive a minivan (so practical, no matter how lame) whereas these public school moms in N. Arlington are so often in flashier luxury cars.

I'm trying hard not be judgmental, but I just don't understand the culture of being really flashy with money (I mean, I don't like YSL handbags for that reason to begin with) and I especially don't understand it among people who send their kids to public school.

I'm sure I hit a lot of buttons with this post, I'm just wondering if anyone else has observed what I have.

[Anonymous]

Eh, you're being incredibly judgmental. Just own it, be grateful for what you have, recognize that people are different, and let it go.

[Anonymous]

I'm generally okay with the choices that other people make that have absolutely zero impact on my well-being.

[Anonymous]

Your premise is wrong. There are plenty of wealthy families who PREFER public school over private school.

I am a product of excellent European private schools. Today, none of the still-excellent schools I went to are nearly as expensive as the DC area privates. I simply do not want to give money to the latter, which will go to luxurious facilities, athletics, administrators pockets, maintenance of those acres of pristine environmentally-unfriendly lawns and unnecessary tech in every classroom... when private school teachers are really not great because they are paid less than public school teachers. It's very easy to have good academic results when you select at entry. If the money went to excellent teachers, I would reconsider. But it doesn't, and it never will in this country.

[Anonymous]

I'm in MoCo. The thing is, for as much as we complain about the public schools, they are damn good.

I look at the needs of each child individually and find the right school for that child. For one child, it is private. For the other, it's public.

I have do say the level of work, the expectations, the no nonsense fluff, the classroom management are all better in public.

[Anonymous]

You are being extremely judgmental. While I don't have a YSL bag, I could, and we could easily afford to send our kids to private. Why don't we? Because I want my kids to go to a school with all of their friends within walking distance. I don't want to drive to NW or Bethesda each day. I find Arlington to be very down to earth for the most part.

[Anonymous]

Why are you assuming private school would be a better fit and education for these kids that you don't know?

[Anonymous]

I think this whole line of thinking is pointless because everyone should do what feels right for their family. But I will bite anyhow.

Yes, there are status conscious families in N Arl who have all the bells and whistles, the tasteful modern home (that isn't too large), the vacations, jewelry, clothes and whatever they want. I think they choose public because they want to seem "normal" and want their kids to grow up that way. You can buy a couple luxury handbags, take a European ski vacation and have a high car payment for far less than it costs to send 2 kids to private school, so I'm not sure all of them could afford it in a heartbeat. For those who can afford it, perhaps they're saving up for college, do not feel their child would enjoy/thrive in private or many other reasons.

[Anonymous]

People are different and have different priorities and are flawed human beings.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:I'm in N. Arlington and frankly there are a lot of moms of a certain type: they all have YSL logo handbags, huge diamond rings and other expensive jewelry, often blonde hair, expensive clothing, etc. And they all send their kids to public school.

The thing that I find weird is not just that they spend a lot of money on things other than tuition (private school is crazy expensive, and I understand the choice to go public) but that they seem to spend money on things that make them LOOK wealthy but they are obviously not that wealthy since their kids go public. I see a lot of expensive handbags at my kids' private school, but they are almost always Celine or Tod's or Ferragamo or other less flashy brands than a YSL logo, and plenty of the richest families drive a minivan (so practical, no matter how lame) whereas these public school moms in N. Arlington are so often in flashier luxury cars.

I'm trying hard not be judgmental, but I just don't understand the culture of being really flashy with money (I mean, I don't like YSL handbags for that reason to begin with) and I especially don't understand it among people who send their kids to public school.

I'm sure I hit a lot of buttons with this post, I'm just wondering if anyone else has observed what I have.

Doesn't really seem like it.

[Anonymous]

OP here.

Yes, I'm being so judgmental! And I feel guilty about it. But, I just don't understand it. It's the FLASHY part I don't get.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:
I'm in N. Arlington and frankly there are a lot of moms of a certain type: they all have YSL logo handbags, huge diamond rings and other expensive jewelry, often blonde hair, expensive clothing, etc. And they all send their kids to public school.

The thing that I find weird is not just that they spend a lot of money on things other than tuition (private school is crazy expensive, and I understand the choice to go public) but that they seem to spend money on things that make them LOOK wealthy but they are obviously not that wealthy since their kids go public. I see a lot of expensive handbags at my kids' private school, but they are almost always Celine or Tod's or Ferragamo or other less flashy brands than a YSL logo, and plenty of the richest families drive a minivan (so practical, no matter how lame) whereas these public school moms in N. Arlington are so often in flashier luxury cars.

I'm trying hard not be judgmental, but I just don't understand the culture of being really flashy with money (I mean, I don't like YSL handbags for that reason to begin with) and I especially don't understand it among people who send their kids to public school.

I'm sure I hit a lot of buttons with this post, I'm just wondering if anyone else has observed what I have.


Doesn't really seem like it.

+1,000

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:OP here.

Yes, I'm being so judgmental! And I feel guilty about it. But, I just don't understand it. It's the FLASHY part I don't get.

How is one bag flashy? I really don't see anyone driving around in a Bentley except for one woman. What exactly is flashy? The houses here mostly top out around $2m (ex CCH), and I would assume most of the people who are making 7 figures could afford much more. There isn't room for everyone at private anyway. Maybe people applied and didn't get in?

[Anonymous]

I don't understand parents who send their kids to private school. I mean, the public schools around here are really good, so shouldn't they save their money for college? I'm trying really hard not to be judgmental here, but I think these parents are stupid, and their poor choices with money (meaning, not choices I would make) are hard to understand....

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:OP here.

Yes, I'm being so judgmental! And I feel guilty about it. But, I just don't understand it. It's the FLASHY part I don't get.

Um, they like having expensive handbags and can afford them, and find public education just fine or superior to private? I'm not sure what your point is here.