Husband’s female coworker bought him a bottle of scotch, she won’t talk to me

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Without question, based on OP's latest post, there is definitely an emotional attachment by both sides going on. OP, you are a bit of a nervous person and a bit clueless, but you have every reason to be suspicious about this. Watch it closely.

Guy here, btw.

+1 and don't think that because she's not his type or is fat and frumpy that would prevent anything from happening. It sounds like you trust him not to have an affair, but what about an emotional affair?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Without question, based on OP's latest post, there is definitely an emotional attachment by both sides going on. OP, you are a bit of a nervous person and a bit clueless, but you have every reason to be suspicious about this. Watch it closely.

Guy here, btw.

+1 and don't think that because she's not his type or is fat and frumpy that would prevent anything from happening. It sounds like you trust him not to have an affair, but what about an emotional affair?

Op here. Thank you for this. I do trust him but I also can see how this could turn I to an emotional affair down the road hence why I brought up my feelings to him. With that said and with your knowledge of a guy, why do men seek emotional friends / emotional affairs in your opinion?

We have a very healthy sex life and marriage but it seems like every year or two he slowly becomes emotionally attached to some female at work. We also talk about his work often from his likings. He enjoys talking to me about his day and what goes on. We truly are great friends with great communication which is also why he told me right away about the gift.

But if we talk about life and work daily, are best friends and have a very healthy sex life why do these keep happening?

Thx

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Without question, based on OP's latest post, there is definitely an emotional attachment by both sides going on. OP, you are a bit of a nervous person and a bit clueless, but you have every reason to be suspicious about this. Watch it closely.

Guy here, btw.

+1 and don't think that because she's not his type or is fat and frumpy that would prevent anything from happening. It sounds like you trust him not to have an affair, but what about an emotional affair?

Op here. Thank you for this. I do trust him but I also can see how this could turn I to an emotional affair down the road hence why I brought up my feelings to him. With that said and with your knowledge of a guy, why do men seek emotional friends / emotional affairs in your opinion?

We have a very healthy sex life and marriage but it seems like every year or two he slowly becomes emotionally attached to some female at work. We also talk about his work often from his likings. He enjoys talking to me about his day and what goes on. We truly are great friends with great communication which is also why he told me right away about the gift.

But if we talk about life and work daily, are best friends and have a very healthy sex life why do these keep happening?

Thx

I have a similar relationship with my dh to yours. We have both been faithful and always will be without a doubt. I, like your dh, have found myself in these "emotional" situations and attachments. I don't know why it happens. It usually starts with a guy showing interest in me. It makes me feel good, even though I'm doing fine most of the time. The last guy wasn't anywhere near my type, but I still developed "feelings" for him based on his attention. I removed myself from the situation which brought me in contact with him, because it was too intense for what is supposed to be a casual, professional relationship.
I guess it comes down to attention. You mention your dh is good looking. As we get older, looks fade and admiring attention makes us feel good. Sorry I don't have answers for you, but I believe your husband will continue to be faithful to you. It is good that he can speak to you about this without you wringing his neck or ripping him a new one.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Without question, based on OP's latest post, there is definitely an emotional attachment by both sides going on. OP, you are a bit of a nervous person and a bit clueless, but you have every reason to be suspicious about this. Watch it closely.

Guy here, btw.

+1 and don't think that because she's not his type or is fat and frumpy that would prevent anything from happening. It sounds like you trust him not to have an affair, but what about an emotional affair?

Op here. Thank you for this. I do trust him but I also can see how this could turn I to an emotional affair down the road hence why I brought up my feelings to him. With that said and with your knowledge of a guy, why do men seek emotional friends / emotional affairs in your opinion?

We have a very healthy sex life and marriage but it seems like every year or two he slowly becomes emotionally attached to some female at work. We also talk about his work often from his likings. He enjoys talking to me about his day and what goes on. We truly are great friends with great communication which is also why he told me right away about the gift.

But if we talk about life and work daily, are best friends and have a very healthy sex life why do these keep happening?

Thx

What makes you think that he was inappropriately "emotionally attached" to his coworkers?

[Anonymous]

I think the bounce hug thing is an indication she has a crush on your husband. If they were having an affair, she would not be surprised you were at the event because he would have tipped her off in advance. If your husband asked you to go when you normally don’t, it’s because he wanted to use you a shield to protect him / remind her he is taken. I think you’ve got nothing to worry about.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Without question, based on OP's latest post, there is definitely an emotional attachment by both sides going on. OP, you are a bit of a nervous person and a bit clueless, but you have every reason to be suspicious about this. Watch it closely.

Guy here, btw.

+1 and don't think that because she's not his type or is fat and frumpy that would prevent anything from happening. It sounds like you trust him not to have an affair, but what about an emotional affair?

Op here. Thank you for this. I do trust him but I also can see how this could turn I to an emotional affair down the road hence why I brought up my feelings to him. With that said and with your knowledge of a guy, why do men seek emotional friends / emotional affairs in your opinion?

We have a very healthy sex life and marriage but it seems like every year or two he slowly becomes emotionally attached to some female at work. We also talk about his work often from his likings. He enjoys talking to me about his day and what goes on. We truly are great friends with great communication which is also why he told me right away about the gift.

But if we talk about life and work daily, are best friends and have a very healthy sex life why do these keep happening?

Thx

No one can meet all of their spouse's emotional needs. It's okay for him to be friends with women. If he's not sleeping with them or relying on them inappropriately for emotional support (eg, talking about your marriage etc) then stop worrying about this. By your own account, your marriage is strong.

[Anonymous]

I can't get by the "she won't talk to me" in the title vs the actual facts we learn inside. I think OP looks for drama and is creating some where there is none.

[CodingMom]

That sounds complicated. Praying for you!

[Anonymous]

Shut it down. If it makes you uncomfortable he should shut it down period. You are the wife.

[Anonymous]

As someone who has been there and done that, this is how affairs start. When I first met my husband's secretary almost 15 years ago, I remember thinking it was cute she had a crush on him. She was only a few years younger than him, chubby, horrible teeth, hooked nose, but literally followed him around like a puppy. So shy it was painful to even get her to respond to a simple "hello."

A dozen years later, my husband and I had two young children, he had a promotion that required him to travel one week out of every month with guess who.... The secretary. Apparently it turns out that it's easy to have an emotional connection with literally ANYONE when you are in hotels, away from families, diapers, obligations, and people who might actually want to do something other than serve your every need and hang in awe on your every word.

Keep an eye on it, OP. Keep in mind she is available, has no strings attached, and never has to do anything other than admire and compliment him. I

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Shut it down. If it makes you uncomfortable he should shut it down period. You are the wife.

If she’s irrational and a drama queen he shouldn’t have to “shit down” things just because Crazy told him to.

[Anonymous]

Is this OP still around? Are you still with your husband?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Is this OP still around? Are you still with your husband?

Not OP, but do you bookmark these threads for follow up??

[Anonymous]

It’s really hard to trust the judgment of women who call other women “females.”

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:As someone who has been there and done that, this is how affairs start. When I first met my husband's secretary almost 15 years ago, I remember thinking it was cute she had a crush on him. She was only a few years younger than him, chubby, horrible teeth, hooked nose, but literally followed him around like a puppy. So shy it was painful to even get her to respond to a simple "hello."

A dozen years later, my husband and I had two young children, he had a promotion that required him to travel one week out of every month with guess who.... The secretary. Apparently it turns out that it's easy to have an emotional connection with literally ANYONE when you are in hotels, away from families, diapers, obligations, and people who might actually want to do something other than serve your every need and hang in awe on your every word.

I think these are wise words. Based on experience, personal and among friends, I now believe that given the right difficult circumstances,affairs can happen among people that innocently began as friends or colleagues