please tell me this won't be so bad

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Did OP explain how they are moving but she had to quit her job because of 100 hours of volunteering? Hence her boss told her to quit? Where is she moving if she can still keep her job if not for the 100 hours requirement? This is very confusing to me.

She has explained that she teleworks, but has required hours because her clients are in Europe.

This is the only thing OP has said that is a real constraint. She must be online from 7-11 am (or whatever) to overlap with Europe. This means she can't do drop-off.

That's totally legitimate! I have the same problem. But the solution to needing to be online during those hours, but needing to do drop-off, is NOT to quit your job.

It is to either negotiate with your partner, OR to look into beforecare, OR to hire someone to drive, OR to swap a ride with another family.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Did OP explain how they are moving but she had to quit her job because of 100 hours of volunteering? Hence her boss told her to quit? Where is she moving if she can still keep her job if not for the 100 hours requirement? This is very confusing to me.

She has explained that she teleworks, but has required hours because her clients are in Europe.

This is the only thing OP has said that is a real constraint. She must be online from 7-11 am (or whatever) to overlap with Europe. This means she can't do drop-off.

That's totally legitimate! I have the same problem. But the solution to needing to be online during those hours, but needing to do drop-off, is NOT to quit your job.

It is to either negotiate with your partner, OR to look into beforecare, OR to hire someone to drive, OR to swap a ride with another family.

Or negotiate a different workload or part-time status with your employer who you've been with for 17 years.....

[Anonymous]

Maybe the 100 hours aren't insurmountable. But they're expected of two adults, not one (single parents only have to do 50). DH has already said it's my "job" because he won't have time and is TAD quite a bit. So pardon me if I'm terrified of taking on a volunteer job that's meant for two adults.

The dropoff is a problem. I've done the nanny and au paid search. We couldn't afford it in DC, but I've done it in small towns and it sucks. Truly sucks. No au pair agencies covered our last base. Nannies are usually young women (fine) but their reliability is not where it needs to be. Even the best we found hand a tendency to call in when she'd been out too late the night before (and told me that!).

No, I won't get off work at 3:30 if I start at 7. As long as everyone else is in the office, I'm expected to be as well. I took on the Europe clients prior to getting married, and have been trying to dump them since I got pregnant (so close to 7 years). It hasn't happened. This is a job where it tends to suck up all available free time. Work-life balance doesn't exist.

DH isn't controlling. He pretty much doesn't care if I do my own thing as long as it doesn't interfere with his job. Unfortunately, everything has interfered with his job for the past few years.

[Anonymous]

And the work sucking up all free time is why going part time is pointless. I could work 2-3 days a week and they'd still be calling me on my days off (I know this from being on vacation and our pt employees). I'd be making half salary for working 3/4 time or more.

[Anonymous]

Op enjoys being a victim. Some people are just like that. There are solutions to her issues, but it's far easier to just ignore them ane play the pity me game. She uses her mental health issues as an excuse because it's an easy way out. She has no interest in getting them under control so she can enjoy a happy life. She likes the victimhood attention too much.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Maybe the 100 hours aren't insurmountable. But they're expected of two adults, not one (single parents only have to do 50). DH has already said it's my "job" because he won't have time and is TAD quite a bit. So pardon me if I'm terrified of taking on a volunteer job that's meant for two adults.

The dropoff is a problem. I've done the nanny and au paid search. We couldn't afford it in DC, but I've done it in small towns and it sucks. Truly sucks. No au pair agencies covered our last base. Nannies are usually young women (fine) but their reliability is not where it needs to be. Even the best we found hand a tendency to call in when she'd been out too late the night before (and told me that!).

No, I won't get off work at 3:30 if I start at 7. As long as everyone else is in the office, I'm expected to be as well. I took on the Europe clients prior to getting married, and have been trying to dump them since I got pregnant (so close to 7 years). It hasn't happened. This is a job where it tends to suck up all available free time. Work-life balance doesn't exist.

DH isn't controlling. He pretty much doesn't care if I do my own thing as long as it doesn't interfere with his job. Unfortunately, everything has interfered with his job for the past few years.

So if he's not controlling he's selfish. The child is half his, right? And you both work full time, right? So why are all child obligations yours?

In addition to your own counselor, you really need a marriage counselor. Your DH is not pulling his weight, nor is he doing what is necessary to build and maintain a relationship with his daughter.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Maybe the 100 hours aren't insurmountable. But they're expected of two adults, not one (single parents only have to do 50). DH has already said it's my "job" because he won't have time and is TAD quite a bit. So pardon me if I'm terrified of taking on a volunteer job that's meant for two adults.

The dropoff is a problem. I've done the nanny and au paid search. We couldn't afford it in DC, but I've done it in small towns and it sucks. Truly sucks. No au pair agencies covered our last base. Nannies are usually young women (fine) but their reliability is not where it needs to be. Even the best we found hand a tendency to call in when she'd been out too late the night before (and told me that!).

No, I won't get off work at 3:30 if I start at 7. As long as everyone else is in the office, I'm expected to be as well. I took on the Europe clients prior to getting married, and have been trying to dump them since I got pregnant (so close to 7 years). It hasn't happened. This is a job where it tends to suck up all available free time. Work-life balance doesn't exist.

DH isn't controlling. He pretty much doesn't care if I do my own thing as long as it doesn't interfere with his job. Unfortunately, everything has interfered with his job for the past few years.

Then maybe its a good thing you left that job. Is there any possibility of employment in your new location?

[Anonymous]

I'm sorry OP it sounds like everyone is taking advantage of you -- your husband, the school, your prior employer. You need to set some boundaries somewhere.....

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:And the work sucking up all free time is why going part time is pointless. I could work 2-3 days a week and they'd still be calling me on my days off (I know this from being on vacation and our pt employees). I'd be making half salary for working 3/4 time or more.

We get it OP. Your life is horrible. You're a saint for doing what you do. None of the solutions pps raise will work. I think that's what you were looking for when posting right? Just to have people agree your life.is shitty and youre amazing for.doing what you do?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:And the work sucking up all free time is why going part time is pointless. I could work 2-3 days a week and they'd still be calling me on my days off (I know this from being on vacation and our pt employees). I'd be making half salary for working 3/4 time or more.

We get it OP. Your life is horrible. You're a saint for doing what you do. None of the solutions pps raise will work. I think that's what you were looking for when posting right? Just to have people agree your life.is shitty and youre amazing for.doing what you do?

I honestly don't think that was what OP was looking for.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Op enjoys being a victim. Some people are just like that. There are solutions to her issues, but it's far easier to just ignore them ane play the pity me game. She uses her mental health issues as an excuse because it's an easy way out. She has no interest in getting them under control so she can enjoy a happy life. She likes the victimhood attention too much.

What attention? I haven't met a single person at our last two bases and never leave the house. You're projecting here.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Maybe the 100 hours aren't insurmountable. But they're expected of two adults, not one (single parents only have to do 50). DH has already said it's my "job" because he won't have time and is TAD quite a bit. So pardon me if I'm terrified of taking on a volunteer job that's meant for two adults.

The dropoff is a problem. I've done the nanny and au paid search. We couldn't afford it in DC, but I've done it in small towns and it sucks. Truly sucks. No au pair agencies covered our last base. Nannies are usually young women (fine) but their reliability is not where it needs to be. Even the best we found hand a tendency to call in when she'd been out too late the night before (and told me that!).

No, I won't get off work at 3:30 if I start at 7. As long as everyone else is in the office, I'm expected to be as well. I took on the Europe clients prior to getting married, and have been trying to dump them since I got pregnant (so close to 7 years). It hasn't happened. This is a job where it tends to suck up all available free time. Work-life balance doesn't exist.

DH isn't controlling. He pretty much doesn't care if I do my own thing as long as it doesn't interfere with his job. Unfortunately, everything has interfered with his job for the past few years.

I agree with other posters -- if you husband won't do his half of the volunteer work - you tell him this particular school is not going to work. Boundaries OP. You need some.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Maybe the 100 hours aren't insurmountable. But they're expected of two adults, not one (single parents only have to do 50). DH has already said it's my "job" because he won't have time and is TAD quite a bit. So pardon me if I'm terrified of taking on a volunteer job that's meant for two adults.

The dropoff is a problem. I've done the nanny and au paid search. We couldn't afford it in DC, but I've done it in small towns and it sucks. Truly sucks. No au pair agencies covered our last base. Nannies are usually young women (fine) but their reliability is not where it needs to be. Even the best we found hand a tendency to call in when she'd been out too late the night before (and told me that!).

No, I won't get off work at 3:30 if I start at 7. As long as everyone else is in the office, I'm expected to be as well. I took on the Europe clients prior to getting married, and have been trying to dump them since I got pregnant (so close to 7 years). It hasn't happened. This is a job where it tends to suck up all available free time. Work-life balance doesn't exist.

DH isn't controlling. He pretty much doesn't care if I do my own thing as long as it doesn't interfere with his job. Unfortunately, everything has interfered with his job for the past few years.

Then maybe its a good thing you left that job. Is there any possibility of employment in your new location?

After I wrote all that out and read it over, I started thinking it might be time for a break, actually.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Maybe the 100 hours aren't insurmountable. But they're expected of two adults, not one (single parents only have to do 50). DH has already said it's my "job" because he won't have time and is TAD quite a bit. So pardon me if I'm terrified of taking on a volunteer job that's meant for two adults.

The dropoff is a problem. I've done the nanny and au paid search. We couldn't afford it in DC, but I've done it in small towns and it sucks. Truly sucks. No au pair agencies covered our last base. Nannies are usually young women (fine) but their reliability is not where it needs to be. Even the best we found hand a tendency to call in when she'd been out too late the night before (and told me that!).

No, I won't get off work at 3:30 if I start at 7. As long as everyone else is in the office, I'm expected to be as well. I took on the Europe clients prior to getting married, and have been trying to dump them since I got pregnant (so close to 7 years). It hasn't happened. This is a job where it tends to suck up all available free time. Work-life balance doesn't exist.

DH isn't controlling. He pretty much doesn't care if I do my own thing as long as it doesn't interfere with his job. Unfortunately, everything has interfered with his job for the past few years.

Then maybe its a good thing you left that job. Is there any possibility of employment in your new location?

After I wrote all that out and read it over, I started thinking it might be time for a break, actually.

honestly - maybe a blessing in disguise.

[Anonymous]

There are other jobs out there. If you have a strong skill-set, you should be able to find something. It doesn't sound like you need a high-paying job, just something. I'd freshen up your LinkedIn profile, and let co-workers and clients know that you are open to a new job or contract work.