please tell me this won't be so bad

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:If, somehow, I bet my manager for my job back, how do I also let him know about this volunteer requirement? Like, exact words? He doesn't understand DH's job or even issues revolving around deployments, so I know his first question will be, "Why does it all fall to you, and how will you work this to make sure we're not impacted here?"

You don't. Your manager doesn't give a shit about this stupid volunteer requiremnet, and neither should you. Stop worrying about it. Concentrate on what's important: your JOB. Do whatever little crap stuff they need (see PPs) about making copies, stuff you can do at home at night/weekends, the odd on site volunteer requirement. Who the hell cares if yuo hit 100 hrs? Don't worry about it.

Your manager also doesn't give a shit about your husband's job, nor should he. Not his problem. There are no issues revolving around deployment, plenty of people have no spouses and work while rearing children. Stop acting like such a victim and just get on with your job--tell him what he needs to hear, which is that you have a plan for how to get your work done. None of the details on your life need to be included, just show him that you CAN DO YOUR JOB. That's what he cares about.

You're missing the point. I can't do my job anymore, especially my early morning responsibilities - that's why I quit. I understand that. He needs someone reliable, and I'm not reliable.

No I didn't.

Of course you can do your early morning responsibilities. why are you different than everyone else?

I'll answer that. Because it's easier to whine and complain about than it is to build a plan and enact it. You can hire someone to take your kid to school. You can do your early morning responsibilities earlier. There are plenty of ways to work this out, and you don't want to hear them. You are also fixated on something that isn't really a problem--the 100 hr volunteer requirement.

Have you ever lived outside DC? I have. In most places, you can't just hire someone to take your child to school. That's the reality of life in a rural area.

So use the public school and send kid to CCD like most Catholics.

[Anonymous]

Dear OP,

I can certainly see why you’re overwhelmed. Let’s look at it another way. The volunteer commitment can be broken down over 10 months most likely. That equates to about 10 hours a month. Yes that’s a pain but not insurmountable. I have volunteered at many schools over the years and found that there are always lots of jobs that can be done from home. So you likely can avoid face time or at least minimize it. Also, you can do those hours around your schedule. So maybe find 2.5 hrs a week in the evenings or on a weekend. It’s not perfect but if you look at it that way, it might seem more palatable. And I bet you can keep working. The working parents around me who telework all manage to drive their kids to and from school when that is their only choice. Even the most important people sometimes have to return a phone call or delay an email response for 30 minutes. Plus once you’re there you might find a family to carpool with.

You can’t change the location of the base. I can understand why it is upsetting to be so isolated. However, there will be other spouses who are in a similar boat. I know you’re shy and anxious but all you need to do is make 1 or 2 good friends. Look for any type of group, club or class that interests you. I find military families among the most friendly and accepting because they move so much. Fortunately, we live in a time when it is also easy to keep in touch with far flung family and friends via email, text, FaceTime, etc.

Most importantly, seek out some mental health care as soon as you arrive. It needs to be your priority and your husband needs to understand that your mental health is vital to your children and your marriage.

Best of luck to you!

[Anonymous]

One of my favorite quotes:

“You are not required to set your self on fire to keep other people warm.”

[Anonymous]

I find it very odd that your child is in a private school yet parents are required to volunteer their time + services.

How do they think the parents can continue paying the tuition if they also are required to volunteer....??!

This sounds just absurd to me.

[Anonymous]

I Grew up in military family...
OP, that base has jobs for you. Go get one! Your skill set will fulfill a need.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:I Grew up in military family...
OP, that base has jobs for you. Go get one! Your skill set will fulfill a need.

Not everyone wants to work at AAFES.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I Grew up in military family...
OP, that base has jobs for you. Go get one! Your skill set will fulfill a need.

Not everyone wants to work at AAFES.

If she has a degree and has a background in engineering/quality assurance (I think she said?) the base Contracting Office would likely love to have her - whether as a direct hire or as a contractor. That can often have as much or as little contact with people as she wants. Or an auditing office. Those jobs would be transferrable to any base they could get assigned to in the future or transferrable to another location or even the civilian sector once her husband retires.

One of my best contracting colleagues got her start in Contracting exactly this way - they were assigned to a far-flung base and she needed something to do. If she can set up a carpool for either pickup or dropoff it will likely work with school schedule - or maybe there are afterschool activities.

[Anonymous]

Yeah, no, that sounds downright horrific.

I'm sorry.

[Anonymous]

Name the "podunk" town Op.

You might find yourself in good company of those who have literally BTDT.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Did OP explain how they are moving but she had to quit her job because of 100 hours of volunteering? Hence her boss told her to quit? Where is she moving if she can still keep her job if not for the 100 hours requirement? This is very confusing to me.

She works from home, so the move doesn't matter.

OP, I'm in a similar position, being a military spouse and having worked remotely for over 10 years, through 5 different moves. I did go down to part-time, which helped tremendously. Are you sure your boss wouldn't let you stay on as a part-timer? Perhaps you could get someone to do drop-offs, and then you can still cover the European shift and go down to half-time. There may be other opportunities on a contract basis, either with this employer or a different one. Or perhaps existing clients might have work for you.

My kids are in catholic school with a volunteer requirement, and it really isn't that bad. There are usually things that need to be done that can be done outside regular school hours. Laminating, copying, cutting out things, fundraising, bundling those stupid box tops - the list is literally endless.

I know moving sucks, and having your kid start school is a big change. I'm sorry you had such a difficult childhood. I do think it will be better than you are anticipating, though. Big hugs.

And DCUM can be a rough place to bring complaints like this. I hope you can weed out the noise, and pick out the helpful posts. It will be okay.

THere have been tons of concrete suggestions, she just counters every one of them.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Name the "podunk" town Op.

You might find yourself in good company of those who have literally BTDT.

I have literally BTDT (as has at least one other poster) but the suggestions we posted were shot down for non-reasons. I think people are getting tired of it, especially as it's really a problem of her own making. (The school issue, that is. So many posters have had solutions for it, including public school since it's just Kindergarten)

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Name the "podunk" town Op.

You might find yourself in good company of those who have literally BTDT.

I have literally BTDT (as has at least one other poster) but the suggestions we posted were shot down for non-reasons. I think people are getting tired of it, especially as it's really a problem of her own making. (The school issue, that is. So many posters have had solutions for it, including public school since it's just Kindergarten)

How many times do I have to say that I didn't select the school?

I am not Catholic. Any attempt to discuss another school ends up with him accusing me of not respecting his faith. So, Catholic school it is.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Op enjoys being a victim. Some people are just like that. There are solutions to her issues, but it's far easier to just ignore them ane play the pity me game. She uses her mental health issues as an excuse because it's an easy way out. She has no interest in getting them under control so she can enjoy a happy life. She likes the victimhood attention too much.

Yes. This sums it all up.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Name the "podunk" town Op.

You might find yourself in good company of those who have literally BTDT.

I have literally BTDT (as has at least one other poster) but the suggestions we posted were shot down for non-reasons. I think people are getting tired of it, especially as it's really a problem of her own making. (The school issue, that is. So many posters have had solutions for it, including public school since it's just Kindergarten)

How many times do I have to say that I didn't select the school?

I am not Catholic. Any attempt to discuss another school ends up with him accusing me of not respecting his faith. So, Catholic school it is.

You're making things purposefully difficult OP. Its ridiculous.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Name the "podunk" town Op.

You might find yourself in good company of those who have literally BTDT.

I have literally BTDT (as has at least one other poster) but the suggestions we posted were shot down for non-reasons. I think people are getting tired of it, especially as it's really a problem of her own making. (The school issue, that is. So many posters have had solutions for it, including public school since it's just Kindergarten)

How many times do I have to say that I didn't select the school?

I am not Catholic. Any attempt to discuss another school ends up with him accusing me of not respecting his faith. So, Catholic school it is.

You're making things purposefully difficult OP. Its ridiculous.

OP name this podunk town or at least the base your DH got assigned. You dont have to name the school.

And consider dcum calling you out as a troll with a made up story (or one you plagiarized from another site).