please tell me this won't be so bad

[Anonymous]

I’m curious as to what city this is that the military is sending you to have this situation with limited resources.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:I’m curious as to what city this is that the military is sending you to have this situation with limited resources.

There aren't limited resources. Just a small town with limited schooling. Yes, there's a world outside DC (which, to be fair, I had to get used to when I first moved away after growing up here).

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Yeah, it's gonna be bad. Sorry, OP. How can you not be resentful that all of his decisions basically destroyed your career?

Because he thinks me complaining is the same as saying I don't love him. So I don't complain and hide my resentment.

[Anonymous]

It’s going to be ok. It will suck for a little while, but you’ll figure it out, just like you’ve done before. You’ve got this. DCUM is here to help you brainstorm the specifics.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Can you explain this volunteer thing a little bit more. You are moving to a new town, and chose a school that requires 100 hours of volunteer time?

If you will be staying home, why does it matter that the boss agreed?

I'm not trying to be snarky, just trying to unravel the question a little.

The boss basically told me to quit. I can't get a full days work in with drop-off/pick-up and this volunteer work. I can't handle the travel the job requires.

I did not choose the school. DH wanted DD to attend a Catholic school and there is only one in the area.

WTF? You're being forced to quit your job by your DH because he insists on Catholic school, but can't do any of the work for it. I'd tell my DH to eff off before i agreed to that.

[Anonymous]

It's not volunteering if it's a requirement. Why call it that?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Can you explain this volunteer thing a little bit more. You are moving to a new town, and chose a school that requires 100 hours of volunteer time?

If you will be staying home, why does it matter that the boss agreed?

I'm not trying to be snarky, just trying to unravel the question a little.

The boss basically told me to quit. I can't get a full days work in with drop-off/pick-up and this volunteer work. I can't handle the travel the job requires.

I did not choose the school. DH wanted DD to attend a Catholic school and there is only one in the area.

WTF? You're being forced to quit your job by your DH because he insists on Catholic school, but can't do any of the work for it. I'd tell my DH to eff off before i agreed to that.

Same here. But it looks like OP is used to being the obedient wife. Unfortunately nothing is going to change until she stands up to her DH. Which it doesn't sound like she is willing to.

[Anonymous]

Omg, there are actually schools that require 100 hours of volunteering? That is nuts. So basically the only children who are allowed to attend are ones with a SAHP.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Can you explain this volunteer thing a little bit more. You are moving to a new town, and chose a school that requires 100 hours of volunteer time?

If you will be staying home, why does it matter that the boss agreed?

I'm not trying to be snarky, just trying to unravel the question a little.

The boss basically told me to quit. I can't get a full days work in with drop-off/pick-up and this volunteer work. I can't handle the travel the job requires.

I did not choose the school. DH wanted DD to attend a Catholic school and there is only one in the area.

WTF? You're being forced to quit your job by your DH because he insists on Catholic school, but can't do any of the work for it. I'd tell my DH to eff off before i agreed to that.

If I do that, he'll divorce me, and I'll never see my daughter again. Because who would you give custody to? The unemployed mentally ill mother? Come on.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Omg, there are actually schools that require 100 hours of volunteering? That is nuts. So basically the only children who are allowed to attend are ones with a SAHP.

To be fair, that's what their particular Flying Spaghetti Monster wants.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Omg, there are actually schools that require 100 hours of volunteering? That is nuts. So basically the only children who are allowed to attend are ones with a SAHP.

To be fair, that's what their particular Flying Spaghetti Monster wants.

Not Catholic ones.

[Anonymous]

If DH wants her in private school, he can be the one to make the career sacrifices.

[Anonymous]

I think your first order of business is to get a job in the new place, even if it's part time, and even if it's not using your skills or well-paid. Then you can at least have some of your own resources while you decide what to do.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:I think your first order of business is to get a job in the new place, even if it's part time, and even if it's not using your skills or well-paid. Then you can at least have some of your own resources while you decide what to do.

My job was so much of my identity. I don't want to work if I'm at the mercy of some awful supervisor and have to punch a time clock. My self-esteem is in the toilet, so this would be awful for me.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Can you explain this volunteer thing a little bit more. You are moving to a new town, and chose a school that requires 100 hours of volunteer time?

If you will be staying home, why does it matter that the boss agreed?

I'm not trying to be snarky, just trying to unravel the question a little.

The boss basically told me to quit. I can't get a full days work in with drop-off/pick-up and this volunteer work. I can't handle the travel the job requires.

I did not choose the school. DH wanted DD to attend a Catholic school and there is only one in the area.

DP Is there anyway you can change DH's opinion on the school? It seems rather unfair that you are making all the sacrifices. Losing your job, moving somewhere you do not want to live and forcing you to volunteer 100 hours! Yikes! He does not sound like a good guy at all.


I would seriously push back on the volunteering and school and try to get another job! Isn't there a neighborhood school?

It's kind of how this life is. I've been making sacrifices for a long time.

And no, no neighborhood school. I mean, there is, but it has pretty bad ratings and his coworkers told him to stay away. Kindergarten is fine, I'm sure, but the higher primary grades aren't, and we don't want to chance her being stuck there.

It sounds like you have very low self esteem and have given up. Perhaps you can find a therapist to tell you that your life matters too. I'm sorry!