Is it possible to cheat and not get caught?

[Anonymous]

I have a few questions for spouses that view marital cheating as wrong in any circumstance:

--Have you experienced cheating in your relationship?

--Do you monitor your spouses' behavior, or activities outside of the home more closely?

--Did you choose to stay after discovering a cheating spouse? If so, why do you have such a static view of cheating but a more nuanced view of maintaining the marriage?

--Did you adjust your behavior to help meet the needs of your cheating spouse?


As a single woman, it is very obvious to me when I meet a married man. The lengths that they will go through to court you and place their marriage in jeopardy are very obvious and transparent. I have never exposed one to his spouse, I just walk away.


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[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:As a single woman, it is very obvious to me when I meet a married man. The lengths that they will go through to court you and place their marriage in jeopardy are very obvious and transparent. I have never exposed one to his spouse, I just walk away.
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I’m a married cheating woman, and I don’t like sleeping with married men either. They’re usually sad - wanting emotional labor from me to make them feel better about their unhappy marriages. They’re also the ones that beg the most - sleep with them once and six months later they’re sill texting begging for another chance. Single guys have more options, and don’t turn me off with their desperation.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:As a single woman, it is very obvious to me when I meet a married man. The lengths that they will go through to court you and place their marriage in jeopardy are very obvious and transparent. I have never exposed one to his spouse, I just walk away.
--

I’m a married cheating woman, and I don’t like sleeping with married men either. They’re usually sad - wanting emotional labor from me to make them feel better about their unhappy marriages. They’re also the ones that beg the most - sleep with them once and six months later they’re sill texting begging for another chance. Single guys have more options, and don’t turn me off with their desperation.

To the PP. Yes, they are very sad. They are not strong enough to confront the consequences of leaving their marriage. I have total disdain for the ones that have bought "milkless cows" and believe that you should supplement their relationship. It's like they are the ultimate leeches.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:As a single woman, it is very obvious to me when I meet a married man. The lengths that they will go through to court you and place their marriage in jeopardy are very obvious and transparent. I have never exposed one to his spouse, I just walk away.
--

I’m a married cheating woman, and I don’t like sleeping with married men either. They’re usually sad - wanting emotional labor from me to make them feel better about their unhappy marriages. They’re also the ones that beg the most - sleep with them once and six months later they’re sill texting begging for another chance. Single guys have more options, and don’t turn me off with their desperation.

To the PP. Yes, they are very sad. They are not strong enough to confront the consequences of leaving their marriage. I have total disdain for the ones that have bought "milkless cows" and believe that you should supplement their relationship. It's like they are the ultimate leeches.

The wives don’t sleep with them because they know their husbands are cheating.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:As a single woman, it is very obvious to me when I meet a married man. The lengths that they will go through to court you and place their marriage in jeopardy are very obvious and transparent. I have never exposed one to his spouse, I just walk away.
--

I’m a married cheating woman, and I don’t like sleeping with married men either. They’re usually sad - wanting emotional labor from me to make them feel better about their unhappy marriages. They’re also the ones that beg the most - sleep with them once and six months later they’re sill texting begging for another chance. Single guys have more options, and don’t turn me off with their desperation.

To the PP. Yes, they are very sad. They are not strong enough to confront the consequences of leaving their marriage. I have total disdain for the ones that have bought "milkless cows" and believe that you should supplement their relationship. It's like they are the ultimate leeches.

The wives don’t sleep with them because they know their husbands are cheating.

They know they don't have to sleep with them; having kids and getting the ring is enough. Men think that they are in control in these relationships when it is actually the women. The cheating gives them a false sense of control over the relationship. Denying having intimate relations, the refusal to seek medical help or opening the marriage, is the ultimate act of emasculation. The wives control the essence of their "manhood." Few fail to realize this and believe that by cheating they are getting their lives back. No, your wife owns you when she does this.

I think there would be fewer extramarital affairs if divorce wasn't stigmatized and associated with a loss of financial wealth.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:I have a few questions for spouses that view marital cheating as wrong in any circumstance:

--Have you experienced cheating in your relationship?

--Do you monitor your spouses' behavior, or activities outside of the home more closely?

--Did you choose to stay after discovering a cheating spouse? If so, why do you have such a static view of cheating but a more nuanced view of maintaining the marriage?

--Did you adjust your behavior to help meet the needs of your cheating spouse?


As a single woman, it is very obvious to me when I meet a married man. The lengths that they will go through to court you and place their marriage in jeopardy are very obvious and transparent. I have never exposed one to his spouse, I just walk away.

Answers: No, No, NA, NA.
I think you and quite a few others posting here are hanging out with the wrong kinds of men and women re a faithful relationship. Over a long period of time, people reveal their flaws; and no one's perfect. Nonetheless, there are MANY people who believe in a faithful, committed relationship and its benefits. You have to look in the right places for them. Typically, it's not those looking for one night stands in a bar.


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[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I have a few questions for spouses that view marital cheating as wrong in any circumstance:

--Have you experienced cheating in your relationship?

--Do you monitor your spouses' behavior, or activities outside of the home more closely?

--Did you choose to stay after discovering a cheating spouse? If so, why do you have such a static view of cheating but a more nuanced view of maintaining the marriage?

--Did you adjust your behavior to help meet the needs of your cheating spouse?


As a single woman, it is very obvious to me when I meet a married man. The lengths that they will go through to court you and place their marriage in jeopardy are very obvious and transparent. I have never exposed one to his spouse, I just walk away.

Answers: No, No, NA, NA.
I think you and quite a few others posting here are hanging out with the wrong kinds of men and women re a faithful relationship. Over a long period of time, people reveal their flaws; and no one's perfect. Nonetheless, there are MANY people who believe in a faithful, committed relationship and its benefits. You have to look in the right places for them. Typically, it's not those looking for one night stands in a bar.


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Meeting people in bars is a thing of the past. Cheating spouses are way more savvy than that. I get what you are saying but there is no "one size fit all" model for meeting truly single men or avoiding married men. When I was younger, I thought that by going to church, involving myself in "quality" activities like volunteering, and outdoor sport-type activities would help me find men who equally yoked and looking for the same thing. It was the same with being introduced by friends; those turned out to be the biggest dogs.

The same with abstaining from intimate relations, and waiting a certain period before you have intimate relations. The one thing that I have learned about dating . . . is learning how to "play the game" and not being so honest about my intentions up front.

[Anonymous]

Yes it is possible. People have done it for years. You just need to be super careful, keep your mouth shut, and avoid the temptation to create and keep proof. No letters, no gifts, no texts, no saving names, no keepsakes, nothing.

[Anonymous]

There are many people don't have a moral compass that restricts them from hurting others. Many cheaters are narcissists who feel entitled to what they want with little regard for how their decisions impact others.

Other people feel as long as they can justify the cheating, then they are okay. Cheating on an exam just for fun isn't okay but cheating on an exam because it will help get you into the program you think your deserve to be in is fine. Same with cheating on your spouse. Except in the case of marriage, you are also hurting someone else. Again, there are lots of people who don't care about causing pain to others.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Wondering if in today's day and age, it is possible to cheat without getting caught.

Without going into too much detail, I am stuck in the marriage for reasons beyond my control. While leaving would be the best thing for me personally, it would be very problematic for my children - again, can't go into the detail here, but I say this to avoid the inevitable posts about how (a) I can leave, or (b) I'm being selfish. To be sure, this decision is not selfish at all, as it would be much easier for me personally to leave and start fresh. However, I feel obligated to stay because of my children and the serious negative consequences that leaving would bring on them.

Now that I have that behind me, I met someone in a city where I travel every other week for work and I am very attracted to him, emotionally and physically. My only hesitation in continuing this is the fear of getting caught and facing the inevitable divorce that I am trying to avoid, but with much worse terms because I've been caught cheating.

So I am just wondering if it is possible to keep this up or if I am kidding myself. I think that the other guy would be okay with keeping this up the way it is, because men seem to be happy with no strings attached sex in my opinion. I think it's a lot harder for them to find a woman who is okay with it. I could be wrong, though.

OP put your kids first. You're going from one pos to probably another. Most men are jerks so you should be putting your kids first, yourself and future. Don't
even waste time on this. Start socking money away and plan for the rainy day. Not someone's recycled trash.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:somehow my husband became suspicious. I laughed it off, but omg, I was stunned.

+1. Only met abroad. I was shocked when he picked up on it and accused me. I stumbled over my explanation and I know he saw right through me. I regret all of it

Why get married and have kids to do all that. Stay single and date if that's your thing. I've seen women that no one would expect to hire PI's, trackers on partners car etc. They knew there were red flags and didn't want to be stuck year with some horrible spouse. Those are smart women. Men should do the same. Really no excuse for any cheater. You have options, but cheating is abuse and that's inexcusable.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Yes it is possible. People have done it for years. You just need to be super careful, keep your mouth shut, and avoid the temptation to create and keep proof. No letters, no gifts, no texts, no saving names, no keepsakes, nothing.

lol No it's obvious when there are time gaps and other red flags. Anyone can easily have some friends follow spouse from work or see what they are doing on their lunch hour.

How about just staying single?????

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Yes it is possible. People have done it for years. You just need to be super careful, keep your mouth shut, and avoid the temptation to create and keep proof. No letters, no gifts, no texts, no saving names, no keepsakes, nothing.

lol No it's obvious when there are time gaps and other red flags. Anyone can easily have some friends follow spouse from work or see what they are doing on their lunch hour.

How about just staying single?????

You'd have to be interested enough to do this. Plenty of spouses are confident and content in their marriages so they feel no need to investigate, while well concealed affairs may be going on.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:somehow my husband became suspicious. I laughed it off, but omg, I was stunned.

+1. Only met abroad. I was shocked when he picked up on it and accused me. I stumbled over my explanation and I know he saw right through me. I regret all of it

Why get married and have kids to do all that. Stay single and date if that's your thing. I've seen women that no one would expect to hire PI's, trackers on partners car etc. They knew there were red flags and didn't want to be stuck year with some horrible spouse. Those are smart women. Men should do the same. Really no excuse for any cheater. You have options, but cheating is abuse and that's inexcusable.

I know plenty of marriages where people cheat and have happy normal life, including my parents and grandparents. If it doesn't work for you, doesn't mean it doesn't work for others. I chose no cheating because it's my preference not because of some particular beliefs.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Another iPhone tip - turn off frequent locations. Your phone keeps a log of every place you go, and tracks the amount of time you spend there.



https://www.buzzfeed.com/jimwaterson/your-iphone-knows-exactly-where-youve-been-and-this-is-how-t?utm_content=buffer507b0&utm_medium=social&utm_source=twitter.com&utm_campaign=buffer&utm_term=.cdxyX1rxw#.uc6X34YjV

Yup. That was one of the pieces of evidence I compiled as my vague concern matured into outright suspicious. She is very tech unskilled.