Is it possible to cheat and not get caught?

[Anonymous]

Wondering if in today's day and age, it is possible to cheat without getting caught.

Without going into too much detail, I am stuck in the marriage for reasons beyond my control. While leaving would be the best thing for me personally, it would be very problematic for my children - again, can't go into the detail here, but I say this to avoid the inevitable posts about how (a) I can leave, or (b) I'm being selfish. To be sure, this decision is not selfish at all, as it would be much easier for me personally to leave and start fresh. However, I feel obligated to stay because of my children and the serious negative consequences that leaving would bring on them.

Now that I have that behind me, I met someone in a city where I travel every other week for work and I am very attracted to him, emotionally and physically. My only hesitation in continuing this is the fear of getting caught and facing the inevitable divorce that I am trying to avoid, but with much worse terms because I've been caught cheating.

So I am just wondering if it is possible to keep this up or if I am kidding myself. I think that the other guy would be okay with keeping this up the way it is, because men seem to be happy with no strings attached sex in my opinion. I think it's a lot harder for them to find a woman who is okay with it. I could be wrong, though.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Wondering if in today's day and age, it is possible to cheat without getting caught.

Without going into too much detail, I am stuck in the marriage for reasons beyond my control. While leaving would be the best thing for me personally, it would be very problematic for my children - again, can't go into the detail here, but I say this to avoid the inevitable posts about how (a) I can leave, or (b) I'm being selfish. To be sure, this decision is not selfish at all, as it would be much easier for me personally to leave and start fresh. However, I feel obligated to stay because of my children and the serious negative consequences that leaving would bring on them.

Now that I have that behind me, I met someone in a city where I travel every other week for work and I am very attracted to him, emotionally and physically. My only hesitation in continuing this is the fear of getting caught and facing the inevitable divorce that I am trying to avoid, but with much worse terms because I've been caught cheating.

So I am just wondering if it is possible to keep this up or if I am kidding myself. I think that the other guy would be okay with keeping this up the way it is, because men seem to be happy with no strings attached sex in my opinion. I think it's a lot harder for them to find a woman who is okay with it. I could be wrong, though.

Of course its possible, you just have to be super careful. Most affairs aren't discovered. I have had 2, no one the wiser

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Wondering if in today's day and age, it is possible to cheat without getting caught.

Without going into too much detail, I am stuck in the marriage for reasons beyond my control. While leaving would be the best thing for me personally, it would be very problematic for my children - again, can't go into the detail here, but I say this to avoid the inevitable posts about how (a) I can leave, or (b) I'm being selfish. To be sure, this decision is not selfish at all, as it would be much easier for me personally to leave and start fresh. However, I feel obligated to stay because of my children and the serious negative consequences that leaving would bring on them.

Now that I have that behind me, I met someone in a city where I travel every other week for work and I am very attracted to him, emotionally and physically. My only hesitation in continuing this is the fear of getting caught and facing the inevitable divorce that I am trying to avoid, but with much worse terms because I've been caught cheating.

So I am just wondering if it is possible to keep this up or if I am kidding myself. I think that the other guy would be okay with keeping this up the way it is, because men seem to be happy with no strings attached sex in my opinion. I think it's a lot harder for them to find a woman who is okay with it. I could be wrong, though.

Of course its possible, you just have to be super careful. Most affairs aren't discovered. I have had 2, no one the wiser

and extremely dishonest

[Anonymous]

I've had an affair without getting caught. 10/10 would recommend.

I didn't actually care if he caught me, I planned on divorcing him anyway. I'm now in my second marriage and much happier so I won't be cheating on this huaband.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote: I've had an affair without getting caught. 10/10 would recommend.

I didn't actually care if he caught me, I planned on divorcing him anyway. I'm now in my second marriage and much happier so I won't be cheating on this huaband.

LOL. Not the OP but I wonder if the OP's husband could still hire a PI if he really wants to know? I'm reminded of Diane Lane and Richard Gere in 'Unfaithful' and how things went downhill for them.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote: I've had an affair without getting caught. 10/10 would recommend.

I didn't actually care if he caught me, I planned on divorcing him anyway. I'm now in my second marriage and much happier so I won't be cheating on this huaband.

so it's about happiness and not integrity and honesty?

[Anonymous]

Whether you want to admit it or not, being a dishonest person slowly chips away at your inner core. There'll be a divide between who you say you are and the person you actually are.

[Anonymous]

Of course. It's just that many people get sloppy. Some want to get caught.

[Anonymous]

Does he quiz you about business trips and what you do in your free time? Does he care? If he cares, he’ll pick up on it.

[Anonymous]

It'll suck your soul.

[Anonymous]

Make sure you are not introducing any new scents into the house upon your return. This caught my DH’s attention but I convinced him it was nothing.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:
Of course. It's just that many people get sloppy. Some want to get caught.

Sloppy seconds?

[Anonymous]

Yes, of course it's possible. But you have to be extremely careful. The longer it goes on, the easier it is to get lazy about covering your tracks.

Only cheat with other married people, they have as much to lose as you do. There's a much higher chance that a single AP will let something slip.

Don't leave any sort of electronic record, ever. If you must communicate electronically, do it with a throwaway email address that your spouse doesn't even know exists. Nothing suggestive or explicit in that or texts, ever. For God's sake don't ever share pictures with AP.

Also no financial trail. Pay for dates with cash, not credit card. Don't stay at hotels unless you have a separate credit card that your spouse doesn't know exists and has no way of finding out (can she check your credit report and find a new cards?).

Learn how to set the location on your phone so that spouse can't track you. Better yet, leave your phone at the office while you go out.

And, of course, don't "act suspicious". This one is harder to define. But take the time now to notice how you interact with your spouse, and keep that steady. Some people distance themselves when they start cheating, others go overboard with guilt and act too nice. Either way it's suspicious.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Whether you want to admit it or not, being a dishonest person slowly chips away at your inner core. There'll be a divide between who you say you are and the person you actually are.

This. Read this. Assuming you are not a sociopath, this will not do good things for your sense of self

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Yes, of course it's possible. But you have to be extremely careful. The longer it goes on, the easier it is to get lazy about covering your tracks.

Only cheat with other married people, they have as much to lose as you do. There's a much higher chance that a single AP will let something slip.

Don't leave any sort of electronic record, ever. If you must communicate electronically, do it with a throwaway email address that your spouse doesn't even know exists. Nothing suggestive or explicit in that or texts, ever. For God's sake don't ever share pictures with AP.

Also no financial trail. Pay for dates with cash, not credit card. Don't stay at hotels unless you have a separate credit card that your spouse doesn't know exists and has no way of finding out (can she check your credit report and find a new cards?).

Learn how to set the location on your phone so that spouse can't track you. Better yet, leave your phone at the office while you go out.

And, of course, don't "act suspicious". This one is harder to define. But take the time now to notice how you interact with your spouse, and keep that steady. Some people distance themselves when they start cheating, others go overboard with guilt and act too nice. Either way it's suspicious.

Are you this dishonest at work, too? You seem to have developed a dishonest way of living down to a science. Chip, chip, chip...there goes your soul.