When the Average Looking Girl In High School Gets to be in the "Cool" Crowd

[Anonymous]

[Anonymous]

[Anonymous]

These memes are so awesome. I have never heard someone refer to herself as a unicorn before this thread. Must be an extra rare unicorn.

[Anonymous]

Okay, so there are some moms who wear riding boots and quilted vests... and, what, exactly? are we supposed to be thinking? That they suck because they’re friends with each other?

OP, sorry you feel excluded. That’s a shitty feeling. Maybe try therapy?

[Anonymous]

Red flags for 'Craziness Below!':
-referring to yourself as a "unicorn"
-being older than 19 and talking about your status in high school

OP is it jealousy? Are you feeling left out?

[Anonymous]

[Anonymous]

This




PLUS

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:This is OP. My main point is the irony of the outcasts now trying to cast out others. They're trying to do the exact same thing to others that was done to them.

You have no way of knowing they were once outcasts since you didn't know them before. They might have been cliquey biotches since preschool.

And there's a very real chance that you are simply projecting. These women might be nice, and you might be some sort of insecure whackadoodle who assigns malicious intent without just cause. Based on your original post, that's my guess.

My two cents as a mid-40s working mom in the suburbs of dcumlandia: the bitchy moms are the insecure moms. These are typically SAHMs or moms who work very PT, have too much free time on their hands so they constantly chat/text/gossip, and are strangely hyper competitive about everything. As a working mom with a demanding career and limited free time, I have zero interest in worrying about what other moms are saying/doing. I couldn't care less about the little kid sports drama. I have no interest in the fat and sugar content of what was served at the last birthday party or school event. I'm genuinely sad when I hear about the latest marriage imploding, and I don't care to speculate or pass judgment. I don't keep track of play dates or social media...and I think any adult who has determined which kids are "popular" or which moms are the "it" moms probably has a rather empty life (and that's sad).

Honestly, I struggle to remember the names of the moms from school...even the moms of my kids' friends. The kids are friends, but those moms are really just acquaintances. I already have friends from childhood, college/grad school, and work...I'm not really pressed to make new mommy friends in some misguided and bizarre attempt to make my kids popular. I mean, that just sounds like something an unhinged person would do.

+1

Well said.

Well, except for the SAHM dig. In my circles the drama is equal opportunity. And easily ignored.

I qualified it: I didn't say all SAHMs. It's just the ones with way too much time on their hands who seem to enjoy constant gossiping (often by texts). The ones who are up in everyone's business are dangerous: they're the ones who foster drama. I learned this early on (again, I'm old: mid-40s with kids in elementary, middle and high school) when I quickly discovered that the moms who seemed super friendly and chatty were actually pumping people for personal info or trying to get you to pass judgment on someone else---so they could use that info in future conversations with others. I was shocked to hear women saying mean or judgmental things about other women who I thought were their friends. I figured if Larla was saying mean things about her friend Suzy to me, I could only imagine what they were saying about me: the working mom who wasn't on their group texts, didn't have time for fitness boot camp or barre, and wasn't able to volunteer at school as much as the others.

Now, I'm sure you're going to say that perhaps I'm projecting. That's fair to wonder. But all of this was pretty much confirmed when we were at a girls night out type event, alcohol was flowing, and there were a lot of snarky digs at the working moms. The rocks thrown at me focused exclusively on my long hours and demanding career---framed consistently as choices I made at the expense of my kids. Lots of comments about my "exciting" business travel, job perks, and professional accomplishments. The strangest thing is that I had never spoken directly to any of these women about my job, so I think someone must have researched me to get the info. Seriously. So, that's my experience with a certain subset of SAHMs with too much free time and lots of insecurity. I most certainly don't feel this way about all SAHMs.

Having said that, who knows how I might behave if I had had the option to leave the rat race as a young mom and found myself in my mid-40s at home with lots of time on my hands while my kids were in school? I suspect I might be worried about my identity after the kids leave home. And I suspect it might be easy to fall into the trap of gossiping if that's the social norm. And to be fair, gossiping certainly happens in the workplace...its just typically more strategic.

Another mid-40's working mom and this has been my experience as well. I would say this behavior is not exclusive to SAHMs but is seen in unhappy moms whatever their work status.

[Anonymous]

SAHMs are generally bored as hell. They have nothing to do but live vicariously through their kids. And yes, often they stoke drama for some sort of excitement in their day.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Oh my sisters. Six pages of you tearing each other down, egged on by trolls who want to divide and conquer us. We can do better.

Ok Maya Angelou.

Maya Angelou is famous, talented, and well-respected, and you are not.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:There is truth to the saying, “An Idol Mind is the Devil’s Workshop.”

And why are people offended by the term housewife? The term is still used as evidenced by the Bravo TV shows. I’m not trying to be a smartass. Functionally, what is the difference between a housewife and the relatively new term, “SAHM”? When you think about it, the term housewife makes one envision a mom who does not work but spends much of her time cleaning, cooking and looking after the home for her family. A SAHM just means that you 1) do not work and 2) stay home but doesn’t say anything else about how you spend your time. This is why I prefer the terms “housewife”and “working mom” vs. SAHM and WOHM.

On an application you would be forced to put “unemployed” right? Even if you claim what you do at home is “work” you’d be considered a volunteer because you aren’t paid. Not understanding why people get insulted by it and that’s what people think anyway. Maybe DCUM should come up with a new more accurate term.

It's actually "idle". Looks like you've been watching too much American Idol.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:There is truth to the saying, “An Idol Mind is the Devil’s Workshop.”

And why are people offended by the term housewife? The term is still used as evidenced by the Bravo TV shows. I’m not trying to be a smartass. Functionally, what is the difference between a housewife and the relatively new term, “SAHM”? When you think about it, the term housewife makes one envision a mom who does not work but spends much of her time cleaning, cooking and looking after the home for her family. A SAHM just means that you 1) do not work and 2) stay home but doesn’t say anything else about how you spend your time. This is why I prefer the terms “housewife”and “working mom” vs. SAHM and WOHM.

On an application you would be forced to put “unemployed” right? Even if you claim what you do at home is “work” you’d be considered a volunteer because you aren’t paid. Not understanding why people get insulted by it and that’s what people think anyway. Maybe DCUM should come up with a new more accurate term.

It's actually "idle". Looks like you've been watching too much American Idol.

My bad but man, what a comeback! Move over Chris Rock.

[Anonymous]

LOL

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

LOL

Nothing says I was a loser in high school like this. I will have to keep an eye out!

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:There is truth to the saying, “An Idol Mind is the Devil’s Workshop.”

And why are people offended by the term housewife? The term is still used as evidenced by the Bravo TV shows. I’m not trying to be a smartass. Functionally, what is the difference between a housewife and the relatively new term, “SAHM”? When you think about it, the term housewife makes one envision a mom who does not work but spends much of her time cleaning, cooking and looking after the home for her family. A SAHM just means that you 1) do not work and 2) stay home but doesn’t say anything else about how you spend your time. This is why I prefer the terms “housewife”and “working mom” vs. SAHM and WOHM.

On an application you would be forced to put “unemployed” right? Even if you claim what you do at home is “work” you’d be considered a volunteer because you aren’t paid. Not understanding why people get insulted by it and that’s what people think anyway. Maybe DCUM should come up with a new more accurate term.

It's actually "idle". Looks like you've been watching too much American Idol.

My bad but man, what a comeback! Move over Chris Rock.

Hey, you're the one that referenced crappy TV shows. I'm assuming you're intimately familiar with them.