When the Average Looking Girl In High School Gets to be in the "Cool" Crowd

[Anonymous]

You seem like you are a stay at home mom with a lot of time on your hands. You are a mean girl (like the movie). Karma is a bitch and you are about to experience it

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:You seem like you are a stay at home mom with a lot of time on your hands. You are a mean girl (like the movie). Karma is a bitch and you are about to experience it

I think she just experience 10 pages of it!

[Anonymous]

I don’t know about you all, but I plan on wearing riding boots and a quilted vest and wink at other moms. OP, I’m looking at you.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:This




PLUS

Um, excuse me but that second one looks slightly quilted.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:SAHMs are generally bored as hell. They have nothing to do but live vicariously through their kids. And yes, often they stoke drama for some sort of excitement in their day.

Ah, the hypocrisy.

[Anonymous]

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Okay, so there are some moms who wear riding boots and quilted vests... and, what, exactly? are we supposed to be thinking? That they suck because they’re friends with each other?

OP, sorry you feel excluded. That’s a shitty feeling. Maybe try therapy?

But WHERE IS THIS PLACE OP is writing from? Nobody around here wears riding boots and quilted vests anymore (especially not the riding boots).

Also, PP is correct about it being unhappy moms and not SAHM (or WOHM or WAHM) who care what other mothers/families are doing and gossip about them. I try to avoid those people, because they remind me of my own mother who was/is profoundly unhappy. If another mother wants to confide in me about her own life/drama/sadness I will happily listen. But I will not share what they've told me in confidence. And if another mother tries to tell me gossip, I ignore it as politely as I can and then I distance myself from them. I'm a grown woman and I expect better of both myself and those I spend my time with.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

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Anonymous wrote:This is OP. My main point is the irony of the outcasts now trying to cast out others. They're trying to do the exact same thing to others that was done to them.

You have no way of knowing they were once outcasts since you didn't know them before. They might have been cliquey biotches since preschool.

And there's a very real chance that you are simply projecting. These women might be nice, and you might be some sort of insecure whackadoodle who assigns malicious intent without just cause. Based on your original post, that's my guess.

My two cents as a mid-40s working mom in the suburbs of dcumlandia: the bitchy moms are the insecure moms. These are typically SAHMs or moms who work very PT, have too much free time on their hands so they constantly chat/text/gossip, and are strangely hyper competitive about everything. As a working mom with a demanding career and limited free time, I have zero interest in worrying about what other moms are saying/doing. I couldn't care less about the little kid sports drama. I have no interest in the fat and sugar content of what was served at the last birthday party or school event. I'm genuinely sad when I hear about the latest marriage imploding, and I don't care to speculate or pass judgment. I don't keep track of play dates or social media...and I think any adult who has determined which kids are "popular" or which moms are the "it" moms probably has a rather empty life (and that's sad).

Honestly, I struggle to remember the names of the moms from school...even the moms of my kids' friends. The kids are friends, but those moms are really just acquaintances. I already have friends from childhood, college/grad school, and work...I'm not really pressed to make new mommy friends in some misguided and bizarre attempt to make my kids popular. I mean, that just sounds like something an unhinged person would do.

+1

Well said.

Well, except for the SAHM dig. In my circles the drama is equal opportunity. And easily ignored.

I qualified it: I didn't say all SAHMs. It's just the ones with way too much time on their hands who seem to enjoy constant gossiping (often by texts). The ones who are up in everyone's business are dangerous: they're the ones who foster drama. I learned this early on (again, I'm old: mid-40s with kids in elementary, middle and high school) when I quickly discovered that the moms who seemed super friendly and chatty were actually pumping people for personal info or trying to get you to pass judgment on someone else---so they could use that info in future conversations with others. I was shocked to hear women saying mean or judgmental things about other women who I thought were their friends. I figured if Larla was saying mean things about her friend Suzy to me, I could only imagine what they were saying about me: the working mom who wasn't on their group texts, didn't have time for fitness boot camp or barre, and wasn't able to volunteer at school as much as the others.

Now, I'm sure you're going to say that perhaps I'm projecting. That's fair to wonder. But all of this was pretty much confirmed when we were at a girls night out type event, alcohol was flowing, and there were a lot of snarky digs at the working moms. The rocks thrown at me focused exclusively on my long hours and demanding career---framed consistently as choices I made at the expense of my kids. Lots of comments about my "exciting" business travel, job perks, and professional accomplishments. The strangest thing is that I had never spoken directly to any of these women about my job, so I think someone must have researched me to get the info. Seriously. So, that's my experience with a certain subset of SAHMs with too much free time and lots of insecurity. I most certainly don't feel this way about all SAHMs.

Having said that, who knows how I might behave if I had had the option to leave the rat race as a young mom and found myself in my mid-40s at home with lots of time on my hands while my kids were in school? I suspect I might be worried about my identity after the kids leave home. And I suspect it might be easy to fall into the trap of gossiping if that's the social norm. And to be fair, gossiping certainly happens in the workplace...its just typically more strategic.

Another mid-40's working mom and this has been my experience as well. I would say this behavior is not exclusive to SAHMs but is seen in unhappy moms whatever their work status.

+1

But I *do* appreciate the unicorns! Lots and lots of unicorns! LOL.

[Anonymous]

[Anonymous]

The point is moms who work really don’t have time to participate in this. Yes there may be some unhappy working moms but the housewife fuckery is usually next level
as far as gossip goes - just the sheer amount of free time on their hands, boredom and lack of extra funds, hanging around the school all of the time, etc.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:The point is morms who work really don’t have time to participate in this. Yes there may be some unhappy working moms but the housewife fuckery is usually next level
as far as gossip goes - just the sheer amount of free time on their hands, boredom and lack of extra funds, hanging around the school all of the time, etc.

It would appear that they do.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:This




PLUS

Oh, these are gorg!!! Where can I get??

[Anonymous]

You had me at "a little blow out, the right make up, some riding boots and a quilted vest" but I'll raise you an infinity scarf and the starbucks cup/iphone combo.

OP I don't disagree, but at least try to pretend to be humble.

In my mind, all those girls still have 90s perms, tall bangs and blue eyeliner. So the aforementioned basic b!tch ensemble is still an improvement. Plus I like nonverbal indicators for how people self-identify. Basic? Got it.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:You had me at "a little blow out, the right make up, some riding boots and a quilted vest" but I'll raise you an infinity scarf and the starbucks cup/iphone combo.

OP I don't disagree, but at least try to pretend to be humble.

In my mind, all those girls still have 90s perms, tall bangs and blue eyeliner. So the aforementioned basic b!tch ensemble is still an improvement. Plus I like nonverbal indicators for how people self-identify. Basic? Got it.

Yup! That’s it.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:You had me at "a little blow out, the right make up, some riding boots and a quilted vest" but I'll raise you an infinity scarf and the starbucks cup/iphone combo.

OP I don't disagree, but at least try to pretend to be humble.

In my mind, all those girls still have 90s perms, tall bangs and blue eyeliner. So the aforementioned basic b!tch ensemble is still an improvement. Plus I like nonverbal indicators for how people self-identify. Basic? Got it.

Yup! That’s it.

+1

That last part. Weeds the followers from the leaders.