Women, be honest, if your husband was fat

[ddintysons]

How is it unfair that having little money and lots of fat isn't high on many people's hot lists?

I have no problem with what anyone puts on their hot list. There is a a problem with the sexist hypocrisy on DCUM. Some women on this forum (and on this thread) have no problem stating that fat, non-rich men do not turn them on.

Cool.

My question is can these same women agree that when a rich, thin DH in his mid-40s dumps his mid-40s wife for a smoking hot early 30s new wife he is well within his rights? If a man were to say "I cannot sleep with my DW because she does look as good as when we got hitched 15 years ago and I want and can afford someone that does" this board would light up.

Let's get the "it is different. A woman cannot help getting old but a man can help getting fat" out of the way right now.

You have no idea what caused each man's weight gain. All you can see is the result. Therefore, you do not know if he had a biological issue that was not resolved, etc. that caused the problem. If a person is only judging him on the way he looks now, then they cannot say much if someone does the same to them.

[Anonymous]

ddintysons wrote:

How is it unfair that having little money and lots of fat isn't high on many people's hot lists?

I have no problem with what anyone puts on their hot list. There is a a problem with the sexist hypocrisy on DCUM. Some women on this forum (and on this thread) have no problem stating that fat, non-rich men do not turn them on.

Cool.

My question is can these same women agree that when a rich, thin DH in his mid-40s dumps his mid-40s wife for a smoking hot early 30s new wife he is well within his rights? If a man were to say "I cannot sleep with my DW because she does look as good as when we got hitched 15 years ago and I want and can afford someone that does" this board would light up.

Let's get the "it is different. A woman cannot help getting old but a man can help getting fat" out of the way right now.

You have no idea what caused each man's weight gain. All you can see is the result. Therefore, you do not know if he had a biological issue that was not resolved, etc. that caused the problem. If a person is only judging him on the way he looks now, then they cannot say much if someone does the same to them.

I know exactly what caused my XH's weight gain. I hope food makes him happy. The kids and I didn't. His next wife didn't.

[Anonymous]

ddintysons wrote:

How is it unfair that having little money and lots of fat isn't high on many people's hot lists?

I have no problem with what anyone puts on their hot list. There is a a problem with the sexist hypocrisy on DCUM. Some women on this forum (and on this thread) have no problem stating that fat, non-rich men do not turn them on.

Cool.

My question is can these same women agree that when a rich, thin DH in his mid-40s dumps his mid-40s wife for a smoking hot early 30s new wife he is well within his rights? If a man were to say "I cannot sleep with my DW because she does look as good as when we got hitched 15 years ago and I want and can afford someone that does" this board would light up.

Let's get the "it is different. A woman cannot help getting old but a man can help getting fat" out of the way right now.

You have no idea what caused each man's weight gain. All you can see is the result. Therefore, you do not know if he had a biological issue that was not resolved, etc. that caused the problem. If a person is only judging him on the way he looks now, then they cannot say much if someone does the same to them.

Actually, none of the women have talked about rich men turning them on. It's just men focusing on that, as usual. I suspect as a form of wishful thinking, hoping that they can use this to make up for their shabby physiques. It's as irrelevant as me saying "men will only get turned on by fat women if they have a big bank account"- no, men won't. Because human beings don't get turned on by money unless they have some kind of weird fetish or disorder. Marry or date someone because they have money- yes, that helps. It certainly increases your chances of finding a partner (A rather homely looking billionaire's daughter in England dating the 'hot felon' Jeremy Meeks is a good example of how this goes both ways). But when it comes to being turned on? Nope.

And again, men get old too. Men seem to have this magical idea of women's sexuality that never seems to prioritize physical appearance. It's absurd, and, again- delusional.

[Anonymous]

Man here. Fat is *always* unattractive, man or woman, *especially* if he/she entered the marriage thin. Totally disrespectful of the relationship.

Getting "old" is completely different from getting fat.
Increased age is 100% unavoidable (well unless you die) but fat is 100% avoidable.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:I am bisexual. I am much more attracted to a fat woman than a fat man. A fat woman is going to have large breasts, large hips, a large butt- all feminine characteristics. A fat man is pretty much devoid of masculine characteristics.

No I would not be attracted.

Same.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

ddintysons wrote:

How is it unfair that having little money and lots of fat isn't high on many people's hot lists?

I have no problem with what anyone puts on their hot list. There is a a problem with the sexist hypocrisy on DCUM. Some women on this forum (and on this thread) have no problem stating that fat, non-rich men do not turn them on.

Cool.

My question is can these same women agree that when a rich, thin DH in his mid-40s dumps his mid-40s wife for a smoking hot early 30s new wife he is well within his rights? If a man were to say "I cannot sleep with my DW because she does look as good as when we got hitched 15 years ago and I want and can afford someone that does" this board would light up.

Let's get the "it is different. A woman cannot help getting old but a man can help getting fat" out of the way right now.

You have no idea what caused each man's weight gain. All you can see is the result. Therefore, you do not know if he had a biological issue that was not resolved, etc. that caused the problem. If a person is only judging him on the way he looks now, then they cannot say much if someone does the same to them.

Actually, none of the women have talked about rich men turning them on. It's just men focusing on that, as usual. I suspect as a form of wishful thinking, hoping that they can use this to make up for their shabby physiques. It's as irrelevant as me saying "men will only get turned on by fat women if they have a big bank account"- no, men won't. Because human beings don't get turned on by money unless they have some kind of weird fetish or disorder. Marry or date someone because they have money- yes, that helps. It certainly increases your chances of finding a partner (A rather homely looking billionaire's daughter in England dating the 'hot felon' Jeremy Meeks is a good example of how this goes both ways). But when it comes to being turned on? Nope.

And again, men get old too. Men seem to have this magical idea of women's sexuality that never seems to prioritize physical appearance. It's absurd, and, again- delusional.

Agreed. Want to know why every romance novel has a ridiculously hot guy on the cover and not some dad bod? It's because women don't fantasize about being taken by a pale fat guy with skinny arms. There would be a lot fewer sexless marriages if people could put their politically correct view of "how things oughtta be" aside and recognize that they're trying to swim upstream against evolution.

If you want your wife/husband to want to tear off your clothes, it helps a lot if there's a fit/healthy body underneath them. Add skill in the bedroom and being nice when you're out of it and you have a recipe for regular repeat business.

Honestly, I think both spouses should stay fit and attractive for themselves and each other. There's nothing wrong with being the best possible version of yourself.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:He is fat. Gained 60 pounds since we got married 20 years ago. We do have sex but it's to maintain the marriage. I just do it to keep the peace.

This is horrifying. I'm sorry. You should cut out the sex

I agree with you.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:He is fat. Gained 60 pounds since we got married 20 years ago. We do have sex but it's to maintain the marriage. I just do it to keep the peace.

This is horrifying. I'm sorry. You should cut out the sex

I agree with you.

60 pounds in 20 years? I've gained that much in 5. Jesus you people are dipshits. You dislike it so much - drag him to the gym with you every morning and evening.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:He is fat. Gained 60 pounds since we got married 20 years ago. We do have sex but it's to maintain the marriage. I just do it to keep the peace.

This is horrifying. I'm sorry. You should cut out the sex

I agree with you.

60 pounds in 20 years? I've gained that much in 5. Jesus you people are dipshits. You dislike it so much - drag him to the gym with you every morning and evening.

Gross.

[taketothebank]

Women should get to have two men - one for stability and one for physical chemistry! Its not possible to have everything in one person

A PP stated that none of the women in this post have talked about rich men turning them on.

Posts like this one (where the word "stability" is a stand in for earning power) are all over up post.

There are a number where the poster states that money is a major factor is attracting women. Even up post on this page a female post states money "helps" attract women.

Where did I, or anyone else, say that men have a magical idea that women's sexuality never prioritizes physical appearance.

Most men have known that girls (and then women) like cute boys since they were in their early teens. Even if they were not interested in girls at all. Every young woman I knew (every girl in her mid to late teens) had posters of men they found attractive in their room or dorm room. Tell me how men could see evidence like this and get the magical idea that women do not prioritize physical appearance?

[Anonymous]

taketothebank wrote:

Women should get to have two men - one for stability and one for physical chemistry! Its not possible to have everything in one person

A PP stated that none of the women in this post have talked about rich men turning them on.

Posts like this one (where the word "stability" is a stand in for earning power) are all over up post.

There are a number where the poster states that money is a major factor is attracting women. Even up post on this page a female post states money "helps" attract women.

Where did I, or anyone else, say that men have a magical idea that women's sexuality never prioritizes physical appearance.

Most men have known that girls (and then women) like cute boys since they were in their early teens. Even if they were not interested in girls at all. Every young woman I knew (every girl in her mid to late teens) had posters of men they found attractive in their room or dorm room. Tell me how men could see evidence like this and get the magical idea that women do not prioritize physical appearance?

The stability one isn't for sex, idiot.

[Anonymous]

Fat guys need love too

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Fat guys need love too

Not from me.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:It's a turn-off. My DH has always been overweight, but when we dated/got married I was trying to be a good person and not make my romantic decisions based on looks. We had okay sex back when we were dating, but there was never really any intense attraction or chemistry.

Now I'm not really attracted at all and have little interest in sex. And as a PP stated, it's also about the behavior around being fat. Anytime we go to a restaurant he asks for the largest item on the menu and I watch him wolf down the entire thing. It's disgusting. He also sits around all day doing nothing, which is a huge turn-off. I work really hard to maintain the body I had in my 20s, it's frustrating that he won't do the same. To make things worse, I recently ran into an ex who had the most incredible body I'd ever seen when we dated, and it's gotten even better. The guy was nuts, but I miss being that attracted to someone.

There are a lot of positives in our relationship, and we certainly won't get divorced over it, but what I wouldn't do to run my hands over a six pack again!

Women should get to have two men - one for stability and one for physical chemistry! Its not possible to have everything in one person.

Agree! I have my two picked out

Who is the chemistry guy? Why did you pick him?

He is someone I worked with at my last job. He's a runner, funny, very kind, and seems to still have sexual feelings, unlike my DH.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Sex can be great exercise. If you want to help him lose weight, maybe you should increase the frequency. Screw him til he's sore. Make it so he needs to get off the couch and out of the house so you can't attack him again.

Np but in my experience fat men want to be on the bottom since they're physically not okay being on top.

My fat husband has to be on top to have an O.