Spending 30k on a ring?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I am practical and would love a 3 carat diamond engagement ring in my preferred cut from the man I loved IF he could afford it. You can, OP. Go ahead and buy the ring and propose to your beloved. She'll wear it for the rest of her life and it will remind her of you. Congratulations, OP!

Seriously, I hate to break it to you and OP, but, no, if you're cool with a $30k ring, then you're not practical.

This thread reminds me of the the "we make 400k HHI and we're middle class." FFS, if you like extravagant things, just admit it.

Same with OP and his "she's not high maintenance." Women who are not high maintenance don't have a "my perfect ring is ..."

Whatever. I think I just need to get off of this thread.

+100, I especially liked the "we make 400K HHI and we're middle class"

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I am practical and frugal and that would be too much for me. (The ring, regardless of cost). You need to get an idea of what she would like somehow. Even if I won something like that completely for free I don't think I would wear it.

Mine is a high quality round solitaire, about 1ct. I wouldn't want much bigger or flashier. The bigger stone doesn't mean you love her more. Knowing what she likes is more important.

As I've already written, I know she loves this style. My sister and her best friend went out shopping. My sister is renewing he vows and went to look at rings. My girlfriend pointed out what she likes. She was specific on how her " perfect" ring would be Asscher cut, with either a solitaire or diamond band. He didn't say anything about carat size. She is somewhat frugal but still spends on clothes, makeup, etc. I know she will love it. I'm not sure she want something this big but that's what I want her to have. She is very practical but I know she will love it.

Here's the thing. If you are willing to blow $30k Ina ring, when your practical girls parents or never do well sister need money, will you happily pony up b/c you are setting expectations here that $30k is walking around money.

This is a great point.

this is an absurd point. why would your sister or in laws be entitled to anything or assume anything?

They wouldn't be "entitled". They'd be family, who might need help. Marriages, good ones, unite families. If my husband could put 30K on my hand but wouldn't help out a family member in dire straights, it'd be problematic.

I actually disagree with this. Marriages unite a couple, not entire families. It's that line of thinking that leads people to believe ridiculous things like equating 1 for 1- $$$ engagement ring = helping family member in dire straits.

And for the record, I would NEVER ask or expect my fiance/husband to give MY parents money.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I am practical and frugal and that would be too much for me. (The ring, regardless of cost). You need to get an idea of what she would like somehow. Even if I won something like that completely for free I don't think I would wear it.

Mine is a high quality round solitaire, about 1ct. I wouldn't want much bigger or flashier. The bigger stone doesn't mean you love her more. Knowing what she likes is more important.

As I've already written, I know she loves this style. My sister and her best friend went out shopping. My sister is renewing he vows and went to look at rings. My girlfriend pointed out what she likes. She was specific on how her " perfect" ring would be Asscher cut, with either a solitaire or diamond band. He didn't say anything about carat size. She is somewhat frugal but still spends on clothes, makeup, etc. I know she will love it. I'm not sure she want something this big but that's what I want her to have. She is very practical but I know she will love it.

Here's the thing. If you are willing to blow $30k Ina ring, when your practical girls parents or never do well sister need money, will you happily pony up b/c you are setting expectations here that $30k is walking around money.

This is a great point.

this is an absurd point. why would your sister or in laws be entitled to anything or assume anything?

They wouldn't be "entitled". They'd be family, who might need help. Marriages, good ones, unite families. If my husband could put 30K on my hand but wouldn't help out a family member in dire straights, it'd be problematic.

I actually disagree with this. Marriages unite a couple, not entire families. It's that line of thinking that leads people to believe ridiculous things like equating 1 for 1- $$$ engagement ring = helping family member in dire straits.

And for the record, I would NEVER ask or expect my fiance/husband to give MY parents money.

Interesting. Here's the scenario. You get engaged. DH has worked hard for/inherited/won the lottery and brings substantial wealth to the marriage (enough so that 30K for an engagement ring is NBD). Years down the line, your dad/mom/sib develops melanoma. An aggressive, quickly metastasizing process. He/she needs chemo/rads. Medicare only covers partial. Remaining tx is exorbitant. You, as a couple, have the resources to cover the medical bills. But bc this is wealth your DH brought to the marriage, he says "nah". You're cool with this?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I am practical and frugal and that would be too much for me. (The ring, regardless of cost). You need to get an idea of what she would like somehow. Even if I won something like that completely for free I don't think I would wear it.

Mine is a high quality round solitaire, about 1ct. I wouldn't want much bigger or flashier. The bigger stone doesn't mean you love her more. Knowing what she likes is more important.

As I've already written, I know she loves this style. My sister and her best friend went out shopping. My sister is renewing he vows and went to look at rings. My girlfriend pointed out what she likes. She was specific on how her " perfect" ring would be Asscher cut, with either a solitaire or diamond band. He didn't say anything about carat size. She is somewhat frugal but still spends on clothes, makeup, etc. I know she will love it. I'm not sure she want something this big but that's what I want her to have. She is very practical but I know she will love it.

Here's the thing. If you are willing to blow $30k Ina ring, when your practical girls parents or never do well sister need money, will you happily pony up b/c you are setting expectations here that $30k is walking around money.

This is a great point.

this is an absurd point. why would your sister or in laws be entitled to anything or assume anything?

Agree, no point was made at all. Go take a risk, start a company, get funding, make some real money then come to silly dcum and ask some mid level worker what to pay for a car, ring, house and you'll get zero usable advice.

There are 1000s of women all over DC and Chicago with $30k rings on their fingers. And their are 1000s with $500 engagement rings. So what. Go back to school, do some apprentice jobs and make some real money if you're unhappy.

[Anonymous]

And no, once you're married your priority is your new family you are starting, not your family of origin. If you are taking care of your life, retirement, kids, college funds, then you can decide what and how to use your surplus after tax money. Don't ever expect it back, even if a family "loan."

Likewise, don't view your adult kids and their spouses as big piggy banks to tap for every emergency or issue. Yuck. Things aren't getting cheaper out there, they are getting more costly, esp healthcare, self funded retirement and college

[Anonymous]

Huh? Who is unhappy? Who is expecting a payback on a "loan"? Not sure who you're responding to, but if this is about whether or not a couple's resources might be directed towards extended family needs, if that couple's resources are such that 30K jewelry is part of daily life, then you've missed the point entirely.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I am practical and frugal and that would be too much for me. (The ring, regardless of cost). You need to get an idea of what she would like somehow. Even if I won something like that completely for free I don't think I would wear it.

Mine is a high quality round solitaire, about 1ct. I wouldn't want much bigger or flashier. The bigger stone doesn't mean you love her more. Knowing what she likes is more important.

As I've already written, I know she loves this style. My sister and her best friend went out shopping. My sister is renewing he vows and went to look at rings. My girlfriend pointed out what she likes. She was specific on how her " perfect" ring would be Asscher cut, with either a solitaire or diamond band. He didn't say anything about carat size. She is somewhat frugal but still spends on clothes, makeup, etc. I know she will love it. I'm not sure she want something this big but that's what I want her to have. She is very practical but I know she will love it.

Here's the thing. If you are willing to blow $30k Ina ring, when your practical girls parents or never do well sister need money, will you happily pony up b/c you are setting expectations here that $30k is walking around money.

This is a great point.

this is an absurd point. why would your sister or in laws be entitled to anything or assume anything?

They wouldn't be "entitled". They'd be family, who might need help. Marriages, good ones, unite families. If my husband could put 30K on my hand but wouldn't help out a family member in dire straights, it'd be problematic.

I actually disagree with this. Marriages unite a couple, not entire families. It's that line of thinking that leads people to believe ridiculous things like equating 1 for 1- $$$ engagement ring = helping family member in dire straits.

And for the record, I would NEVER ask or expect my fiance/husband to give MY parents money.

Interesting. Here's the scenario. You get engaged. DH has worked hard for/inherited/won the lottery and brings substantial wealth to the marriage (enough so that 30K for an engagement ring is NBD). Years down the line, your dad/mom/sib develops melanoma. An aggressive, quickly metastasizing process. He/she needs chemo/rads. Medicare only covers partial. Remaining tx is exorbitant. You, as a couple, have the resources to cover the medical bills. But bc this is wealth your DH brought to the marriage, he says "nah". You're cool with this?

not going to engage this ridiculous strawman argument.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:And no, once you're married your priority is your new family you are starting, not your family of origin. If you are taking care of your life, retirement, kids, college funds, then you can decide what and how to use your surplus after tax money. Don't ever expect it back, even if a family "loan."

Likewise, don't view your adult kids and their spouses as big piggy banks to tap for every emergency or issue. Yuck. Things aren't getting cheaper out there, they are getting more costly, esp healthcare, self funded retirement and college

+1
It's one thing if they offer, but your son in law should not be on your list of phone calls to make when you need money.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Huh? Who is unhappy? Who is expecting a payback on a "loan"? Not sure who you're responding to, but if this is about whether or not a couple's resources might be directed towards extended family needs, if that couple's resources are such that 30K jewelry is part of daily life, then you've missed the point entirely.

An e-ring is not a daily jewelry purchase. It's a 1 time thing.

[Anonymous]

I would never spent $30K on a ring! The diamond industry likes to market its product as something that is priceless, an investment and an eternal symbol of love. BS.

Freakinomics did a great expose on what a bad investment are diamonds and what the industry dies to try to entice consumers into spending a lot of money on something that in the end is a mere commodity!

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:I am getting ready to propose to the most amazing woman I've met. She's it for me and I want to do it right. I want to give her the best I can. She very
" girl next door" - not very high maintenance. I found the perfect ring for her! It's a 3 carat, Asscher cut ring with a brilliant cut and colorless. The band is
" Classic" with tiny diamonds. It's roughly 30k. The price is not an issue, but I know she is very practical and a bit frugal. Ladies, would you appreciate/zany a ring like that? I, like most men, are a little clueless at this.

Sounds gorgeous! Congratulations on finding the girl of your dreams!!!!

[Anonymous]

Interesting. Here's the scenario. You get engaged. DH has worked hard for/inherited/won the lottery and brings substantial wealth to the marriage (enough so that 30K for an engagement ring is NBD). Years down the line, your dad/mom/sib develops melanoma. An aggressive, quickly metastasizing process. He/she needs chemo/rads. Medicare only covers partial. Remaining tx is exorbitant. You, as a couple, have the resources to cover the medical bills. But bc this is wealth your DH brought to the marriage, he says "nah". You're cool with this?


not going to engage this ridiculous strawman argument.

No need to. The answer's pretty obvious. Way to throw in the towel though.

[Anonymous]

There are 1000s of women all over DC and Chicago with $30k rings on their fingers. And their are 1000s with $500 engagement rings. So what. Go back to school, do some apprentice jobs and make some real money if you're unhappy.

The idea that there are thousands of women walking around Chicago and DC with $30K rings is so depressing. 3,000 women would make $9M in rocks -- just in those 2 cities and just for those women? Ladies, think about all the good that could be done with $9M. I give 30K to charity every year, and I would never, ever in a million years spend this much on a piece of jewelry. Just so depressing.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Huh? Who is unhappy? Who is expecting a payback on a "loan"? Not sure who you're responding to, but if this is about whether or not a couple's resources might be directed towards extended family needs, if that couple's resources are such that 30K jewelry is part of daily life, then you've missed the point entirely.

An e-ring is not a daily jewelry purchase. It's a 1 time thing.

Isn't the notion of paying 2-3 months gross salary for an e-ring out there? There are plenty of educated white collar workers here in DC MSKING $100-250k gross incomes. Nice platium diamond rings certainly last longer and hold their value (if not rises in value) over a $30k depreciating car!

And $30k rings are not the same as paying a $30k service bill. Yes if someone's net worth is huge they can pay whomevers medical bills (insurance much??) they so wish, and you can always pressure your sister or daughter to pawn her ring, take a second mortgage or cash in her retirement fund for your medical bills. Go ahead, your request. Giving away or donating $30k is way different than investing in a one-time piece of jewelry.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:
There are 1000s of women all over DC and Chicago with $30k rings on their fingers. And their are 1000s with $500 engagement rings. So what. Go back to school, do some apprentice jobs and make some real money if you're unhappy.

The idea that there are thousands of women walking around Chicago and DC with $30K rings is so depressing. 3,000 women would make $9M in rocks -- just in those 2 cities and just for those women? Ladies, think about all the good that could be done with $9M. I give 30K to charity every year, and I would never, ever in a million years spend this much on a piece of jewelry. Just so depressing.

You can do whatever you want with the money you worked hard for and earned, unlike you with your ugly judgmental attitude, I don't care.