Parents of middle school girls, please...

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:This would NEVER be allowed in our suburban PS. If a principal or dean is allowing this to happen in his/her school, then I have to question if they have perverse intentions. They need to be called out.

I'm not saying it is allowed - it is not and those who break the dress code are dealt with accordingly. However, I would rather have those kids in class, not wasting time changing or waiting for new clothes. Just saying it would be great for parents to remind kids of dress expectations at home to echo what they hear at school.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Wow....I can't believe some of the responses here. Lots of "parents" who don't want to take responsibility and actually teach their children appropriate dress--a sense of decorum that will help them land a job some day.

I thought most DCUMers were smarter than that. Some of you should move away to a nudist colony....you'd fit in better there than in mainstream American society. Seriously.


I don't understand? I do talk to my children about their clothes. But unless you're my child's boss, or my child's principal/teacher/whoever enforces the school dress code, my child's clothes are none of your business.

Yes, they are, if my child is forced to be exposed to your child's trashy clothing, and I have to explain to them why your child is dressed that way. I shouldn't have to do that. Stop being so selfish and accept your responsibility as a parent.

But definitions of trashy vary, plus I personally find the idea of clothing being "trashy" pretty bizarre really. Just because my kid's clothes aren't to your kid's taste doesn't mean there's much to explain. "Sarah, Larla's clothes are her business, your clothes are your business. She picks what she likes and her parents allow, you pick what you like within what we allow. If someone is breaking rules at school that's up to the school to sort out. You just worry about you."

See, easy.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

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Anonymous wrote:

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Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I see where our country is headed based on these loony responses. Let her wear a g-string to class, so long as she's comfortable!

smh

Nobody has said that.

Not exactly. But so much more importance seems to be placed on the will of the child rather than the greater good. Oh, mind your business, just listen to what the principal says! What BS.

What greater good?

How is anyone else's "greater good" served or harmed by what another person chooses to wear, exactly?

We live in a society - what other people do affects us, and what we do affects others.

But that doesn't answer the questions. In general, how do my clothing choices harm you, and how do your clothing choices harm me? Obviously there are exceptions, but in general.

As adults, maybe they don't. But I do have a problem with my 12 year old son seeing body parts that our family values as being kept private put on display at his public school. I have no problem with sex and sexuality, but there are places where that needs to not be brought to the forefront, and school is one of those places for children.

But the onus is on you to teach your child. It's not my child's responsibility to cover up to keep your kid happily within the bubble. Using the same criteria, you could require my daughter to wear a burka to meet your ideals of appropriate exposure.

Sure and by your logic your kid could show up naked and it's no one's business. But we live on this planet.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Sure and by your logic your kid could show up naked and it's no one's business. But we live on this planet.

See above: "Sarah, Larla's clothes are her business, your clothes are your business. She picks what she likes and her parents allow, you pick what you like within what we allow. If someone is breaking rules at school that's up to the school to sort out. You just worry about you."

(Good going, PP who posted that!)

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Sure and by your logic your kid could show up naked and it's no one's business. But we live on this planet.

See above: "Sarah, Larla's clothes are her business, your clothes are your business. She picks what she likes and her parents allow, you pick what you like within what we allow. If someone is breaking rules at school that's up to the school to sort out. You just worry about you."

(Good going, PP who posted that!)

Okay. I see. Your kid doesn't have to follow the dress code rules AND you get to dictate what everyone else thinks about that. Nope. I'd say "Huh, that sounds like it's against the rules and also shows really bad judgment because she's encouraging people to notice nothing about her other thN her butt. Do you think your butt is what's important about you? Me neither. I hope Larla figures that out. Don't make fun of her. You never know what's going on in some people's lives that makes them make their choices. But I'm glad you know better." That's what real (sane) parents say.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Sure and by your logic your kid could show up naked and it's no one's business. But we live on this planet.

See above: "Sarah, Larla's clothes are her business, your clothes are your business. She picks what she likes and her parents allow, you pick what you like within what we allow. If someone is breaking rules at school that's up to the school to sort out. You just worry about you."

(Good going, PP who posted that!)

Okay. I see. Your kid doesn't have to follow the dress code rules AND you get to dictate what everyone else thinks about that. Nope. I'd say "Huh, that sounds like it's against the rules and also shows really bad judgment because she's encouraging people to notice nothing about her other thN her butt. Do you think your butt is what's important about you? Me neither. I hope Larla figures that out. Don't make fun of her. You never know what's going on in some people's lives that makes them make their choices. But I'm glad you know better." That's what real (sane) parents say.

No, reread please.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Sure and by your logic your kid could show up naked and it's no one's business. But we live on this planet.

See above: "Sarah, Larla's clothes are her business, your clothes are your business. She picks what she likes and her parents allow, you pick what you like within what we allow. If someone is breaking rules at school that's up to the school to sort out. You just worry about you."

(Good going, PP who posted that!)

Okay. I see. Your kid doesn't have to follow the dress code rules AND you get to dictate what everyone else thinks about that. Nope. I'd say "Huh, that sounds like it's against the rules and also shows really bad judgment because she's encouraging people to notice nothing about her other thN her butt. Do you think your butt is what's important about you? Me neither. I hope Larla figures that out. Don't make fun of her. You never know what's going on in some people's lives that makes them make their choices. But I'm glad you know better." That's what real (sane) parents say.

I'm the original poster of sarah/larla. My kid does have to follow rules. And if she doesn't, the school gets to deal with that, and then I will deal with that at home. What doesn't need to happen though, is anyone else's input.

Your attitude about clothing and what you would teach your daughter is odd to me, and it's the sort of attitude my DD and I tend to try to avoid because there seems to be a lot of cultural baggage and nonsense there, but you certainly have the right to teach your child whatever you wish.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Sure and by your logic your kid could show up naked and it's no one's business. But we live on this planet.

See above: "Sarah, Larla's clothes are her business, your clothes are your business. She picks what she likes and her parents allow, you pick what you like within what we allow. If someone is breaking rules at school that's up to the school to sort out. You just worry about you."

(Good going, PP who posted that!)

Okay. I see. Your kid doesn't have to follow the dress code rules AND you get to dictate what everyone else thinks about that. Nope. I'd say "Huh, that sounds like it's against the rules and also shows really bad judgment because she's encouraging people to notice nothing about her other thN her butt. Do you think your butt is what's important about you? Me neither. I hope Larla figures that out. Don't make fun of her. You never know what's going on in some people's lives that makes them make their choices. But I'm glad you know better." That's what real (sane) parents say.

No, reread please.

Read it fine. You refuse to tell your kid to follow the rules. Rather, you tell everyone else it's none of their business (unless they are a principal). Silly.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Sure and by your logic your kid could show up naked and it's no one's business. But we live on this planet.

See above: "Sarah, Larla's clothes are her business, your clothes are your business. She picks what she likes and her parents allow, you pick what you like within what we allow. If someone is breaking rules at school that's up to the school to sort out. You just worry about you."

(Good going, PP who posted that!)

Okay. I see. Your kid doesn't have to follow the dress code rules AND you get to dictate what everyone else thinks about that. Nope. I'd say "Huh, that sounds like it's against the rules and also shows really bad judgment because she's encouraging people to notice nothing about her other thN her butt. Do you think your butt is what's important about you? Me neither. I hope Larla figures that out. Don't make fun of her. You never know what's going on in some people's lives that makes them make their choices. But I'm glad you know better." That's what real (sane) parents say.

I'm the original poster of sarah/larla. My kid does have to follow rules. And if she doesn't, the school gets to deal with that, and then I will deal with that at home. What doesn't need to happen though, is anyone else's input.

Your attitude about clothing and what you would teach your daughter is odd to me, and it's the sort of attitude my DD and I tend to try to avoid because there seems to be a lot of cultural baggage and nonsense there, but you certainly have the right to teach your child whatever you wish.

So you do tell your kid to follow the rules? Then you agree with OP. I do too, except I would equally note the boys doing the similar dumb thing. "Cultural baggage". Sure, I guess it is. Everything In A social compact is cultural baggage in a sense. I don't think it requires body shaming to say "that's not a good idea because if you do that it is the only thing people will notice about you". aND "you are way too cool to be making that the thing people notice about you". But I definitely think your way is weird, so fair enough you think mine is.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Sure and by your logic your kid could show up naked and it's no one's business. But we live on this planet.

See above: "Sarah, Larla's clothes are her business, your clothes are your business. She picks what she likes and her parents allow, you pick what you like within what we allow. If someone is breaking rules at school that's up to the school to sort out. You just worry about you."

(Good going, PP who posted that!)

Okay. I see. Your kid doesn't have to follow the dress code rules AND you get to dictate what everyone else thinks about that. Nope. I'd say "Huh, that sounds like it's against the rules and also shows really bad judgment because she's encouraging people to notice nothing about her other thN her butt. Do you think your butt is what's important about you? Me neither. I hope Larla figures that out. Don't make fun of her. You never know what's going on in some people's lives that makes them make their choices. But I'm glad you know better." That's what real (sane) parents say.

I'm the original poster of sarah/larla. My kid does have to follow rules. And if she doesn't, the school gets to deal with that, and then I will deal with that at home. What doesn't need to happen though, is anyone else's input.

Your attitude about clothing and what you would teach your daughter is odd to me, and it's the sort of attitude my DD and I tend to try to avoid because there seems to be a lot of cultural baggage and nonsense there, but you certainly have the right to teach your child whatever you wish.

So you do tell your kid to follow the rules? Then you agree with OP. I do too, except I would equally note the boys doing the similar dumb thing. "Cultural baggage". Sure, I guess it is. Everything In A social compact is cultural baggage in a sense. I don't think it requires body shaming to say "that's not a good idea because if you do that it is the only thing people will notice about you". aND "you are way too cool to be making that the thing people notice about you". But I definitely think your way is weird, so fair enough you think mine is.

Well, I sort of agree with the OP. I agree that if there are rules they should be followed. I do not, however, agree with the dress code, with the way I have usually seen it enforced, or with the fact that even when my DD wears an outfit that is verifiable as within the dress code she has STILL experienced a school administrator and a few teachers (separate occasions over the past few years) attempt to claim her clothing was inappropriate... despite it carefully adhering to the school's published rules! That's not something I agree with.

I also do not agree with the attitude from some on this thread (not sure where you fall on this) that holds that it is somehow another student's or family's business if/whether/when a classmate gets into trouble for a violation of the rules, dress code or not, unless the violation directly impacted your student.

[Anonymous]

^^ewww....

[Anonymous]

Jezebel tackled this very issue:

http://jezebel.com/underbutt-is-the-new-underboob-746946929

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Sure and by your logic your kid could show up naked and it's no one's business. But we live on this planet.

See above: "Sarah, Larla's clothes are her business, your clothes are your business. She picks what she likes and her parents allow, you pick what you like within what we allow. If someone is breaking rules at school that's up to the school to sort out. You just worry about you."

(Good going, PP who posted that!)

NP here.

No, I would hope kids, teachers or parents from the school would complain about Larla's clothes and she would be asked to go to the office and sit and wait for appropriate clothes to come from a parent. I am sick of everyone shrugging off rule breakers as "not my business." This gets more and more kids trying to bend and break the rules.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Sure and by your logic your kid could show up naked and it's no one's business. But we live on this planet.

See above: "Sarah, Larla's clothes are her business, your clothes are your business. She picks what she likes and her parents allow, you pick what you like within what we allow. If someone is breaking rules at school that's up to the school to sort out. You just worry about you."

(Good going, PP who posted that!)

Okay. I see. Your kid doesn't have to follow the dress code rules AND you get to dictate what everyone else thinks about that. Nope. I'd say "Huh, that sounds like it's against the rules and also shows really bad judgment because she's encouraging people to notice nothing about her other thN her butt. Do you think your butt is what's important about you? Me neither. I hope Larla figures that out. Don't make fun of her. You never know what's going on in some people's lives that makes them make their choices. But I'm glad you know better." That's what real (sane) parents say.

I'm the original poster of sarah/larla. My kid does have to follow rules. And if she doesn't, the school gets to deal with that, and then I will deal with that at home. What doesn't need to happen though, is anyone else's input.

Your attitude about clothing and what you would teach your daughter is odd to me, and it's the sort of attitude my DD and I tend to try to avoid because there seems to be a lot of cultural baggage and nonsense there, but you certainly have the right to teach your child whatever you wish.

So you do tell your kid to follow the rules? Then you agree with OP. I do too, except I would equally note the boys doing the similar dumb thing. "Cultural baggage". Sure, I guess it is. Everything In A social compact is cultural baggage in a sense. I don't think it requires body shaming to say "that's not a good idea because if you do that it is the only thing people will notice about you". aND "you are way too cool to be making that the thing people notice about you". But I definitely think your way is weird, so fair enough you think mine is.

Well, I sort of agree with the OP. I agree that if there are rules they should be followed. I do not, however, agree with the dress code, with the way I have usually seen it enforced, or with the fact that even when my DD wears an outfit that is verifiable as within the dress code she has STILL experienced a school administrator and a few teachers (separate occasions over the past few years) attempt to claim her clothing was inappropriate... despite it carefully adhering to the school's published rules! That's not something I agree with.

I also do not agree with the attitude from some on this thread (not sure where you fall on this) that holds that it is somehow another student's or family's business if/whether/when a classmate gets into trouble for a violation of the rules, dress code or not, unless the violation directly impacted your student.

Sounds to me like your daughter dresses like trash, is making people feel uncomfortable, and the school is trying to tell her that. Sadly, you are one of those parents that don't care and they know it. You are on their list of deadbeats.

[Anonymous]

MS teacher here. I really don't understand why so many here have a problem with the concept of a dress code. Do you want your children to learn while at school? Or do you want them to be constantly distracted by the clothing choices of the students around them? Sure, you could argue that kids shouldn't be distracted, that middle school boys shouldn't want to look at girls' bodies, etc., but they DO. And it's difficult to keep them focused on their work when girls are dressed in short shorts, sheer tops, and black bras. Ditto for the girls when a boy walks in in a muscle shirt and baggy pants below his waist.

Also, school is like a kid's job. Students need to learn what constitutes appropriate dress in public, so that they can grow up to dress appropriately in the workplace. They won't suddenly learn what is appropriate dress if they are not learning it in middle and high school.

Please, remember that schools want to teach your kids. Please help us do that by sending them to school fed, with homework done, and dressed appropriately.