Sex at 13?

[Anonymous]

I'm the pp with the best friend who lost her virginity at 13. I haven't seen any posters on here who are "fine with it." I've seen a few posters on here who realize that reality is that if your kids wants to s/he will be having sex no matter what you say. Our job as parents is to empower our kids so that they feel that they can say "no" despite peer pressure so that their first sexual experiences are positive ones and they grow up enjoying sex as part of life not being afraid of it (anyone who reads the explicit forum can attest to the fact that this can lead to big problems later in life.). I also think it's important that kids understand pregnancy and STDs. I don't think it's a coincidence that the US has the highest incidence of teen pregnancy in the developed world, while at the same time many Americans have this puritanical attitude towards sex.

Btw I'm not from a country in which teen marriage is the norm. I'm from another developed country with a much lower incidence of teen pregnancy, STDs etc.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I'm a 41 year old female and lost my virginity at 12

Congratulations - here's your award

Where does it say I'm looking for an award? Other posters are stating their ages and when they started sexual activity. I revealed this simply to show that sexual activity among young teens is nothing new. It's certainly not a brag.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:I'm the pp with the best friend who lost her virginity at 13. I haven't seen any posters on here who are "fine with it." I've seen a few posters on here who realize that reality is that if your kids wants to s/he will be having sex no matter what you say. Our job as parents is to empower our kids so that they feel that they can say "no" despite peer pressure so that their first sexual experiences are positive ones and they grow up enjoying sex as part of life not being afraid of it (anyone who reads the explicit forum can attest to the fact that this can lead to big problems later in life.). I also think it's important that kids understand pregnancy and STDs. I don't think it's a coincidence that the US has the highest incidence of teen pregnancy in the developed world, while at the same time many Americans have this puritanical attitude towards sex.

Btw I'm not from a country in which teen marriage is the norm. I'm from another developed country with a much lower incidence of teen pregnancy, STDs etc.

You've got to be kidding. Who was the last kid you met who didn't understand pregnancy? How old were they, six?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I'm the pp with the best friend who lost her virginity at 13. I haven't seen any posters on here who are "fine with it." I've seen a few posters on here who realize that reality is that if your kids wants to s/he will be having sex no matter what you say. Our job as parents is to empower our kids so that they feel that they can say "no" despite peer pressure so that their first sexual experiences are positive ones and they grow up enjoying sex as part of life not being afraid of it (anyone who reads the explicit forum can attest to the fact that this can lead to big problems later in life.). I also think it's important that kids understand pregnancy and STDs. I don't think it's a coincidence that the US has the highest incidence of teen pregnancy in the developed world, while at the same time many Americans have this puritanical attitude towards sex.

Btw I'm not from a country in which teen marriage is the norm. I'm from another developed country with a much lower incidence of teen pregnancy, STDs etc.

You've got to be kidding. Who was the last kid you met who didn't understand pregnancy? How old were they, six?

Judging by the number of young people who have had accidental pregnancies, quite a few don't seem to understand pregnacy and contraception. Maybe your kids do, but lots of parents don't educate their kids about sex.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I'm the pp with the best friend who lost her virginity at 13. I haven't seen any posters on here who are "fine with it." I've seen a few posters on here who realize that reality is that if your kids wants to s/he will be having sex no matter what you say. Our job as parents is to empower our kids so that they feel that they can say "no" despite peer pressure so that their first sexual experiences are positive ones and they grow up enjoying sex as part of life not being afraid of it (anyone who reads the explicit forum can attest to the fact that this can lead to big problems later in life.). I also think it's important that kids understand pregnancy and STDs. I don't think it's a coincidence that the US has the highest incidence of teen pregnancy in the developed world, while at the same time many Americans have this puritanical attitude towards sex.

Btw I'm not from a country in which teen marriage is the norm. I'm from another developed country with a much lower incidence of teen pregnancy, STDs etc.

You've got to be kidding. Who was the last kid you met who didn't understand pregnancy? How old were they, six?

Judging by the number of young people who have had accidental pregnancies, quite a few don't seem to understand pregnacy and contraception. Maybe your kids do, but lots of parents don't educate their kids about sex.

You're confusing sex ed and ethics.

[Anonymous]

Kids know how you make a baby.
What they don't know, is how to keep their clothes on. Right?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I'm the pp with the best friend who lost her virginity at 13. I haven't seen any posters on here who are "fine with it." I've seen a few posters on here who realize that reality is that if your kids wants to s/he will be having sex no matter what you say. Our job as parents is to empower our kids so that they feel that they can say "no" despite peer pressure so that their first sexual experiences are positive ones and they grow up enjoying sex as part of life not being afraid of it (anyone who reads the explicit forum can attest to the fact that this can lead to big problems later in life.). I also think it's important that kids understand pregnancy and STDs. I don't think it's a coincidence that the US has the highest incidence of teen pregnancy in the developed world, while at the same time many Americans have this puritanical attitude towards sex.

Btw I'm not from a country in which teen marriage is the norm. I'm from another developed country with a much lower incidence of teen pregnancy, STDs etc.

You've got to be kidding. Who was the last kid you met who didn't understand pregnancy? How old were they, six?

Judging by the number of young people who have had accidental pregnancies, quite a few don't seem to understand pregnacy and contraception. Maybe your kids do, but lots of parents don't educate their kids about sex.

You're confusing sex ed and ethics.

Huh? Is using contraception a branch of ethics now?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Kids know how you make a baby.
What they don't know, is how to keep their clothes on. Right?

Wrong, actually.

Without comprehensive, accurate sex education, kids have a lot of misconceptions about "you won't get pregnant if you..." and "it's not really sex if you..."

Abstinence-only sex "education" is a prime example of the problem. And it doesn't teach you "how to keep your clothes on", either.

[Anonymous]

Go back to when you were young. I can only speak for the male, but when I got turned on, the only thing that mattered was sex. There was no way I would have stopped if the girl had not established and enforced boundaries.

In my case, my social awkwardness meant that the only cues I took were verbal and direct (in the affirmative), and in hindsight, i misread body language.

But is is naive to think that boys today are different -- again I can not speak for girls. If the a 14 - 15 yo boy sees a physically mature girl 12-13 yo acting provocatively (it happens), they will try to see what they can get. If the girl wants to be "popular" with the boys, she will get there with her mouth.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Go back to when you were young. I can only speak for the male, but when I got turned on, the only thing that mattered was sex. There was no way I would have stopped if the girl had not established and enforced boundaries.

In my case, my social awkwardness meant that the only cues I took were verbal and direct (in the affirmative), and in hindsight, i misread body language.

But is is naive to think that boys today are different -- again I can not speak for girls. If the a 14 - 15 yo boy sees a physically mature girl 12-13 yo acting provocatively (it happens), they will try to see what they can get. If the girl wants to be "popular" with the boys, she will get there with her mouth.

This is prime example #1 about why we need to talk to our sons about consent. And consent =/= not saying no. Consent = saying yes.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:My 43 year old hubby got his first BJ at age 11 from another 11 year old girl during a neighborhood truth or dare game.

What were the parents doing?

They were at work. Kids at that age hang out unsupervised all the time.

Exactly. Welcome to absentee parenting.

Like this is a new phenomena? Historically, most women haven't had stay at home parenting as an option, you know.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:My 43 year old hubby got his first BJ at age 11 from another 11 year old girl during a neighborhood truth or dare game.

What were the parents doing?

They were at work. Kids at that age hang out unsupervised all the time.

Exactly. Welcome to absentee parenting.

Like this is a new phenomena? Historically, most women haven't had stay at home parenting as an option, you know.

Its sad that both parents working is absentee parenting but hiring a full time nanny is Mother of the Year. Reality is that many families cannot afford anything besides both parents working full time. Teen/tween kids are old enough to be unsupervised. Helicopter parents think that giving them no unsupervised time will prevent bad decisions. Talk to your kids and help prepare them to make their own decisions.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Its sad that both parents working is absentee parenting but hiring a full time nanny is Mother of the Year. Reality is that many families cannot afford anything besides both parents working full time. Teen/tween kids are old enough to be unsupervised. Helicopter parents think that giving them no unsupervised time will prevent bad decisions. Talk to your kids and help prepare them to make their own decisions.

No, you misunderstand.

Father working for pay, mother staying at home = good parenting.

Father and mother both working for pay = absentee parenting (on the part of the mother).

Father and mother both working for pay, and hiring a full-time nanny = absentee parenting (on the part of the mother).

Father saying at home, mother working for pay = absentee parenting (on the part of the mother).

See how that works?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:No, you misunderstand.

Father working for pay, mother staying at home = good parenting.

Father and mother both working for pay = absentee parenting (on the part of the mother).

Father and mother both working for pay, and hiring a full-time nanny = absentee parenting (on the part of the mother).

Father saying at home, mother working for pay = absentee parenting (on the part of the mother).

See how that works?

You missed the Bethesda Super Mom, apparently, as that was the reason for my snark. So basically, women have to keep their children in their sights 24/7 or they're absentee parenting, right? Just curious, are these kids allowed to be unsupervised when they turn 18 or should mommy move to college with them as well?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:
You missed the Bethesda Super Mom, apparently, as that was the reason for my snark. So basically, women have to keep their children in their sights 24/7 or they're absentee parenting, right? Just curious, are these kids allowed to be unsupervised when they turn 18 or should mommy move to college with them as well?

Yes, women must keep their children in their sights 24/7 until the children turn 18, or they are bad mothers. After the children turn 18, the mothers must turn the children loose, or they are bad mothers. Also, if the children do anything bad while unsupervised before age 18, it's the mother's fault for not supervising them, and if the children do anything bad at age 18 or older, it's the mother's fault for either not having supervised them or not having given them independence, depending on the circumstances.

(I'm speaking for DCUM here, not for Bethesda Magazine. They have other standards, first among which is: only rich people are people.)