having a hard time accepting DS for who he is

[Anonymous]

accept him with open arms and maybe he will surprise you. Maybe he feels different also? You can't connect, dad can't connect. Very sad. Find a way because you only have AOUT 850 Saturdays to have a great day with this boy from birth till 18. He will be bonded and have a relationship with you as an adult or feel damn glad to be out of your house. It is up to you!
maybe he feels the same about you..." why did I get stuck with the parents that judge me? Why can't they love me like my friends parents love them? Life sucks! "

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:I think you should have another child or two and see if they are academically or athletically inclinded and if so, focus on them.

Same here.

[Anonymous]

OP, I think there are a lot of people on here who don't understand that nowhere embedded in your original post did you say that you didn't love your child. I am sure you do. But as a parent with a similar academic background to yourself I can honestly say I get it. School was effortless, hell I even enjoyed taking tests because who wouldn't if you could get an A without studying. When I had my first I had that pang of fear that I wouldn't know how to relate if DS was academically like DH and myself. I reflected on it and came to the realization that part of that feeling came from the way my parents raised me (in an area similar to DC) where so much of my identity during the school years was tied to my academic success. I even stressed about it when he got to preschool and wasn't showing clear cut signs of being gifted. Stupid I know. I went on to have two more children before he entered K. During that time I came to accept all of them for their individual personalities. We have made it through K and DC #1 actually has turned out to be what I originally had hoped. DC #2, is her own person, beats to her own drummer and likely won't be the same and I have come to realize that is ok too, she is her own person and doesn't need to measure up to my own personal merits.


When it comes down to it, I want you to know I get it. I totally understand that you still love your son. His special talents and interests are yet to show themselves.

[Anonymous]

Who is he? He is an X combination of your grandmothers in some unknown mix, and a pure Y of his paternal grandfather.

Does that help understand his particular abilities?

[Anonymous]

The message from parents should be "you are good enough". I tell my kids to try their best and work hard but I also always let them know how much I love them and they should always feel they are good enough. I tell them there is no such thing as best or perfect. What ever it is they are worrying about- friends, sports, their looks, academics. We need to just love them because they are kids who will grow up too fast. They need to love being a kid and it is a parent's job to make sure they remember their childhoods as being happy and loved by their parents.