I’m a black man married to a white woman: Ask me anything.

[Anonymous]

OP,

Would you consider yourself masculine? Do you have facial hair?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Has anyone asked if your wife has been threatened by black women while out in public with you?

I'm OP. No one has asked that question. The answer is no, she has not been threatened.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Here is a question for OP: Are you and/or your white wife friendly to black women? I ask because there are quite a few interracial couples at DD's elementary school. A couple are BW/WH, but the majority, as with the population as a whole are BH/WW. I am a black female, and in my experience, in the couples where the wife is black, both spouses are relatively friendly and engaging. But the couples where the wife is white, both parties are very standoffish. I have tried for years to make friends with some of these people, and they are very distant. I barely get a smile or a hello. And the black husbands are even less friendly than their white wives. What is up with that?

I can relate to this. From DCUM, I can only guess that the WW are so prepared for "the angry black woman" that they don't take the time to realize that the grimace they are expecting is really a smile.

Is this response from OP? If not, I guess I am getting the cold shoulder again from the black guy with the white wife, lol.

I'm OP. you've asked a good question - I had to give it some thought. We are not standoffish toward black women but given some of our experiences, we've probably unconsciously become a little less friendly upon initial meetings until we've assessed if the woman is friendly toward us. We are protective of each other and although we don't get ugly faces every day, it happens enough where we might have become conditioned in this way. Again, good question. I'll have to check my actions on this one. Thanks.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:OP,

Would you consider yourself masculine? Do you have facial hair?

Yes, I am very masculine. I do have facial hair.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Everyone on this board is 5'4 108 pounds

no, not me, I"m 5'5" and 130 this week, because I've had gluten, once it's out of my system I'll be down to 125.

[Anonymous]

ah what a bullshit thread this is. My dad is black and my mom is white. None of the stereotypes fit my family's description. Both mom and dad have friends of all races, they are both friendly, both educated and both average weight. I had a totally normal, typical family.

If you think interracial couples/families have to fit some stupid stereotype, you need to get out more. There are tons of mixed families in this area, you'd have to be walking around with your eyes closed to avoid knowing any.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:ah what a bullshit thread this is. My dad is black and my mom is white. None of the stereotypes fit my family's description. Both mom and dad have friends of all races, they are both friendly, both educated and both average weight. I had a totally normal, typical family.

If you think interracial couples/families have to fit some stupid stereotype, you need to get out more. There are tons of mixed families in this area, you'd have to be walking around with your eyes closed to avoid knowing any.

Is your dad AA or an African immigrant or a child of African immigrants?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Here is a question for OP: Are you and/or your white wife friendly to black women? I ask because there are quite a few interracial couples at DD's elementary school. A couple are BW/WH, but the majority, as with the population as a whole are BH/WW. I am a black female, and in my experience, in the couples where the wife is black, both spouses are relatively friendly and engaging. But the couples where the wife is white, both parties are very standoffish. I have tried for years to make friends with some of these people, and they are very distant. I barely get a smile or a hello. And the black husbands are even less friendly than their white wives. What is up with that?

I can relate to this. From DCUM, I can only guess that the WW are so prepared for "the angry black woman" that they don't take the time to realize that the grimace they are expecting is really a smile.

Is this response from OP? If not, I guess I am getting the cold shoulder again from the black guy with the white wife, lol.

I'm OP. you've asked a good question - I had to give it some thought. We are not standoffish toward black women but given some of our experiences, we've probably unconsciously become a little less friendly upon initial meetings until we've assessed if the woman is friendly toward us. We are protective of each other and although we don't get ugly faces every day, it happens enough where we might have become conditioned in this way. Again, good question. I'll have to check my actions on this one. Thanks.

Thanks for the reply. As you think about, keep in mind that the situation can become self-perpetuating. Lets say we are at a school event. Based on your past experiences, you are a little chilly towards me. I then see you be friendly towards others, I take your reaction towards me personally. Next time I see you, I am less friendly, maybe scowl at the memory of our last meeting, you see me scowl, etc.
So I will try to remember this thread next time. Maybe I will smile bigger, and try to break the cycle.

[Anonymous]

It's interesting how some of the most popular DCUM topics over the past few years are about African Americans. Lots of curiosity I guess. I consider that to be a good thing since race is usually discussed behind closed doors and usually among like minded people. Being anonymous helps.

[Anonymous]

OP, do you live in Columbia?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Here is a question for OP: Are you and/or your white wife friendly to black women? I ask because there are quite a few interracial couples at DD's elementary school. A couple are BW/WH, but the majority, as with the population as a whole are BH/WW. I am a black female, and in my experience, in the couples where the wife is black, both spouses are relatively friendly and engaging. But the couples where the wife is white, both parties are very standoffish. I have tried for years to make friends with some of these people, and they are very distant. I barely get a smile or a hello. And the black husbands are even less friendly than their white wives. What is up with that?

I can relate to this. From DCUM, I can only guess that the WW are so prepared for "the angry black woman" that they don't take the time to realize that the grimace they are expecting is really a smile.

Is this response from OP? If not, I guess I am getting the cold shoulder again from the black guy with the white wife, lol.

I'm OP. you've asked a good question - I had to give it some thought. We are not standoffish toward black women but given some of our experiences, we've probably unconsciously become a little less friendly upon initial meetings until we've assessed if the woman is friendly toward us. We are protective of each other and although we don't get ugly faces every day, it happens enough where we might have become conditioned in this way. Again, good question. I'll have to check my actions on this one. Thanks.

Thanks for the reply. As you think about, keep in mind that the situation can become self-perpetuating. Lets say we are at a school event. Based on your past experiences, you are a little chilly towards me. I then see you be friendly towards others, I take your reaction towards me personally. Next time I see you, I am less friendly, maybe scowl at the memory of our last meeting, you see me scowl, etc.
So I will try to remember this thread next time. Maybe I will smile bigger, and try to break the cycle.

OP here. I really appreciate your thoughtfulness. I bet we be good friends. You should always get big smiles.

[Anonymous]

What led you to dcurbanmom?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:OP, do you live in Columbia?

No, but good guess.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:What led you to dcurbanmom?

Came across the site while looking up some symptoms DS had a few years back - been a follower ever since. Incidentally, DW does not care much for DCUM b/c of the negativity.

[Anonymous]

Any advice for interracial love now? WW who dated a BM 20 years ago but it didn't work out. He never told his mom about us... glad my children will have an easier time when they start dating.