Would you be okay with your daughter dating a boy from a different race?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:I, too, but a White women, would be disappointed if my son married a black woman. I guess it is what is...not racism as the AA posters have said, rather wanting a DIL who understands my Irish Catholic ways and who jives with our extended family. God knows I would hate to have to accept someone black just because my n fell in love. There are plenty of white women to fall in love with! And I would definitely tell him how I felt, just like the AA posters would if it were reversed.

+1000

[Anonymous]

Um, yeah. Take Diggs is effeminate. It all males sense now.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Um, yeah. Take Diggs is effeminate. It all males sense now.

huh????

[Anonymous]

What if he was half white and became president!

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:AA mom here. The reason why I believe that AA men that marry white women have low self esteem is because they have to seek white women out for relationships. Because of America's past and present it is easy for a Black man to believe that most black women are unfit for long term relationships. The stereotypes at worse of diseased, baby mama gold diggers and bossy bad attitude bitches at best are worth discussing with my son. There are very few media outlets that portray AA women in a positive light. It is my responsibility as his mom to point out these inaccuracies.

I am not surprised that a White women would be outraged by this. You are the feminine standard that all other races are judged by. Enjoy your throne. I'm not trying to take it from you. I just don't want my son sitting next to you.

I want to train his eye to see the beauty of women that look like him. No else in America will do it for him except his mother. Not self righteous white women, reality shows that always portray Aa women cussing fighting and sexy, movies that make us seem undesireable, videos and music that portray us as whores. There is no balance. That balance is the education I refer to.

I'm not disheartened by your statement, but rather the close-mindlessness echoed throughout this thread. I hear everything you're saying and agree about the standard of beauty, I am not naive to it or that I come from a place of priviledge. I am also not naive to the fact that attraction and the process of finding a mate is a partially learned behavior. However, I grew up in a very diverse community and since kindergarten have been attracted to men outside of my race. I never prefered blonde, blue-eyed boys/men. I've dated them, but always preferred the Mark Consuelos type to the Brad Pitts of the world, seriously, as far back as I can remember. Society dictated who I dated though, and so my boyfriends were mostly white. I've always found that interesting. I'm sure my DH was influenced by media, and standards of beauty dictated by society. But that is different than self-hate. All you say does play a role in who we select as partners, but that's only part of the story. I'd much rather my children be fulfilled and happy than worry about the race or religion of their partner. Oh, and i DO know what my family thought/thinks about our relationship because we have openly discussed it many many times. And we met studying abroad. I respect your right, among others on this thread, to have an opinion about intermarriages, but I still think its outdated and wrong-thinking.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Um, yeah. Take Diggs is effeminate. It all males sense now.

Actually, Taye Diggs is effeminate; not manly at all.

[Anonymous]

I'm tickled by the suble implication present on this thread that implies that an AA man married to an AA woman will somehow be unfulfilled.

On a side note I also feel that white women feel guilty for white privelege sometimes and try to compensate by procreating with black men. It makes them feel special, proves they are not racist and makes them feel cool or rebellious depending on who they are trying to prove a point to.

Finally the poster that keeps claiming that the AA posters are hijacking the thread is a classic example of how AA speaking honestly makes whites defensive sometimes. The only way to truly find peace and not just PC peace is to talk about it. I probably work right next to you but I can't tell you hese opinions without ruffling feathers. I love DCUM!

[Anonymous]

00:04, do you honestly expect your family to admit that, while they accept your husband because you love him, they are somewhat disappointed with your choice?

No matter how close the family bond, if they value having a relationship with you and your family, they aren't going to admit that to you.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Guess which one she picked? She picked the nice guy. And no one in our family would have had it otherwise. And so I can comfortably say that my daughters can date whatever kind and generous and hard-working man (or woman-- that's another thing that doesn't faze me) they want. We will judge their partners on their personalities and accomplishments and behavior. A rich white guy doesn't get ANY kind of automatic pass from me, just because we might have some superficial similarities.

I would love to be your friend. Or in-law.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Wow..lol! I love DCUM but these responses confirm that my AA son should not date or marry a white woman.

The level of self righteousness from some members of the white majority is dangerous for him. But don't worry, when your daughter comes after my son, and she will, I hope to have educated him on this matter and it will be a non-issue because he won't be interested.

On a side note, I believe that AA men who marry white women have low self esteem. I try to make daily deposits in son's esteem bank.

[phone]

If you dig deep enough (and sometimes you don't even have to), you'll find that black men who marry white woman have some internal issues whether it be low self-esteem, self-hate and/or some need to prove "they've arrived". You'll notice that most black men who marry white woman are successful and/or educated. Why is that? Why aren't middle/upper class white woman marrying the average black guy?

Because they do not want to pay for him.

[Anonymous]

if you find the AA man with a good job, the AA chicks buzzing around him will put you in your grave.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:AA mom here. The reason why I believe that AA men that marry white women have low self esteem is because they have to seek white women out for relationships. Because of America's past and present it is easy for a Black man to believe that most black women are unfit for long term relationships. The stereotypes at worse of diseased, baby mama gold diggers and bossy bad attitude bitches at best are worth discussing with my son. There are very few media outlets that portray AA women in a positive light. It is my responsibility as his mom to point out these inaccuracies.

I am not surprised that a White women would be outraged by this. You are the feminine standard that all other races are judged by. Enjoy your throne. I'm not trying to take it from you. I just don't want my son sitting next to you.

I want to train his eye to see the beauty of women that look like him. No else in America will do it for him except his mother. Not self righteous white women, reality shows that always portray Aa women cussing fighting and sexy, movies that make us seem undesireable, videos and music that portray us as whores. There is no balance. That balance is the education I refer to.

They know they can get away with more bullshit married to a white woman. AA woman would kick their ass to the curb.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:I, too, but a White women, would be disappointed if my son married a black woman. I guess it is what is...not racism as the AA posters have said, rather wanting a DIL who understands my Irish Catholic ways and who jives with our extended family. God knows I would hate to have to accept someone black just because my n fell in love. There are plenty of white women to fall in love with! And I would definitely tell him how I felt, just like the AA posters would if it were reversed.

Irish Catholic here too, with two sons. Following this logic, you would be disappointed if your son married anyone other than an Irish-Catholic white woman. A WASP, a Jewish woman, a Southern Baptist - none of those would "understand your Irish Catholic ways," correct?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:AA mom here. The reason why I believe that AA men that marry white women have low self esteem is because they have to seek white women out for relationships. Because of America's past and present it is easy for a Black man to believe that most black women are unfit for long term relationships. The stereotypes at worse of diseased, baby mama gold diggers and bossy bad attitude bitches at best are worth discussing with my son. There are very few media outlets that portray AA women in a positive light. It is my responsibility as his mom to point out these inaccuracies.

I am not surprised that a White women would be outraged by this. You are the feminine standard that all other races are judged by. Enjoy your throne. I'm not trying to take it from you. I just don't want my son sitting next to you.

I want to train his eye to see the beauty of women that look like him. No else in America will do it for him except his mother. Not self righteous white women, reality shows that always portray Aa women cussing fighting and sexy, movies that make us seem undesireable, videos and music that portray us as whores. There is no balance. That balance is the education I refer to.

+1

[Anonymous]

Race doesn't matter to me. What matters is values and how he treats her. Extreme religious views (any religion) are a red flag for me because I don't want my DD dating a man who thinks that she is not his equal. My only concern for DD dating outside her race is that she will have to be prepared for some people to judge her.