Don’t know how Thanksgiving isn’t happening

[Anonymous]

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Anonymous wrote:If you don't want to host, you get to control that. You don't get to control deciding someone else will host.

If you want to get together, then suggest that everyone meet up a week after their Thanksgiving plans to catch up at a restaurant.

+1 if my mom or MIL don’t host the holidays (esp Thanksgiving because it involves a lot of cooking), then we won’t be spending it with them! No way I’m hosting it at my home. I am busy enough already.

So OP is right it is pay to play?

In many cases yes. Most young working parents who get maybe 2-3 weeks leave/year (half of which is eaten up by kids being sick, school closures etc) don’t want to use up their precious remaining leave cleaning and cooking to host grandparents for a holiday meal and can’t afford to cater or take everyone out to a restaurant.

Some people just can't be pleased. They don't want to host or be hosted.

No, some people just don’t want to be obligated to spend a holiday with particular family members and yet will (quietly grudgingly) agree to be hosted, rather than do what they would prefer, to avoid hurting their feelings.

Ah, this describes my family's holidays perfectly.

Pretty much all time spent with my in-laws is obligatory. Even for their own children. No one wants to hurt their feelings but no one wants to go out of their way to be together. It’s purely just checking a box.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:You're children are absolutely nasty people for not inviting you to the in-laws Thanksgiving, and the in-laws are nasty people for not inviting you.

What?!
I have never heard anything so ridiculous. You don't mix families just because two of the children got married. This isn't medieval times.
My parents and DH parents don't socialize. It's lovely if families do and have things in common or live in the same area but not an obligation.

Youre crazy PP. it's funny because you don't know it. In laws socialize all the time.amingst normal people. Like, constantly.

Some families socialize and others do not. Neither is wrong. Sounds like OPs inlaws aren't the kind to socialize with OP and that is totally fine.

I have a hard time imagining OP as the victim here. She literally got what she wanted.

Exactly. My in-laws have never socialized with my parents. They're very different people. We all respect each other, of course, and my MIL is a lovely person.