Ex won’t make food our daughter will eat

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:OP, of course my daughter is capable of learning to cook. But when she's at her dad's house, she's still the child and he's the parent, so I think it's reasonable for him to make meals she'll actually eat. She shouldn’t have to make all her meals for herself at her age, I certainly didn’t.

She's 16, which is old enough to help in the kitchen, but she's still a kid. Her dad tends to cook a lot of fish (which she hates), salmon, and vegetable-heavy meals. Occasionally he'll make things like chicken, rice, burgers, or pizza, which she enjoys, but his diet is generally very different from hers.

My daughter isn’t a picky eater and eats a pretty wide range of foods. Sliders with mini beef or chicken burgers on sweet Hawaiian rolls, grilled chicken or steak skewers, Pasta dishes ( chicken Alfredo with fettuccine, lasagna, chicken Parmesan over marinara pasta, baked ziti with a cheesy mozzarella topping, penne alla vodka with chicken in a pink tomato-cream sauce, and chicken bacon ranch pasta bakes, etc). Tacos and burritos with beef or chicken and toppings she can add herself, chicken quesadillas, and chicken wraps. Teriyaki chicken over white rice, ramen with sliced chicken and egg, baked mac and cheese, beef and bean chili with cornbread, chicken noodle soup with thick egg noodles, and BBQ foods like ribs or grilled chicken served with fries. Overall, she’s pretty easy to feed and is happy with a variety of proteins, pastas, rice dishes, soups.

At this point, I think I just need to actually go and make meals for her once a week, and have her eat those meals throughout the week, or try my best to convince him to change up what he eats on the days she’s there, or ask him to make her something different.

Well after reading this I’m team dad.
Some of the things you posted are easy to make. I’d tell the dad to please have tortillas /cheese/chicken etc on hand so she can make a burrito or whatever. But if he doesn’t eat carb heavy food or French fries he shouldn’t be forced to make it because that’s what she likes.

You think it’s reasonable to make fish every night when she doesn’t like fish?

My sisters husband is Asian and you bet he wants fish every night. If his daughter refused to eat it, or vegetables, he’d keep pushing it until she did. Only in America do people write off entire food groups in favor of sliders and French fries nightly.

Ok, but this girlis American, so you bet she wants American food every night.

Fish isnt American food?
It’s not reasonable to say you don’t like ANY fish or you don’t like ANY vegetables. Members of my family have certain things they don’t like (mushrooms, coconut milk, sharp cheese) that are avoidable but not a whole food group that is verboten.

If you go to the grocery store, you won't see many Americans getting fish.

If you go to an ethnic store, like HMart, you will see all different kinds of people buying fish, but not white people.

I *love* fish, but I'm Asian American. I grew up in CA, and we ate fish a lot (when it was cheaper; so expensive now). That's all I ate when we were in Iceland (they mostly seem to have lamb or fish).

Americans seem to eat salmon, but not much else unless it's fried or in tacos.

Fish is $$$$

Some fish is slightly more than beef. Most of it is cheaper than beef. Some is even cheaper than chicken.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:OP, of course my daughter is capable of learning to cook. But when she's at her dad's house, she's still the child and he's the parent, so I think it's reasonable for him to make meals she'll actually eat. She shouldn’t have to make all her meals for herself at her age, I certainly didn’t.

She's 16, which is old enough to help in the kitchen, but she's still a kid. Her dad tends to cook a lot of fish (which she hates), salmon, and vegetable-heavy meals. Occasionally he'll make things like chicken, rice, burgers, or pizza, which she enjoys, but his diet is generally very different from hers.

My daughter isn’t a picky eater and eats a pretty wide range of foods. Sliders with mini beef or chicken burgers on sweet Hawaiian rolls, grilled chicken or steak skewers, Pasta dishes ( chicken Alfredo with fettuccine, lasagna, chicken Parmesan over marinara pasta, baked ziti with a cheesy mozzarella topping, penne alla vodka with chicken in a pink tomato-cream sauce, and chicken bacon ranch pasta bakes, etc). Tacos and burritos with beef or chicken and toppings she can add herself, chicken quesadillas, and chicken wraps. Teriyaki chicken over white rice, ramen with sliced chicken and egg, baked mac and cheese, beef and bean chili with cornbread, chicken noodle soup with thick egg noodles, and BBQ foods like ribs or grilled chicken served with fries. Overall, she’s pretty easy to feed and is happy with a variety of proteins, pastas, rice dishes, soups.

At this point, I think I just need to actually go and make meals for her once a week, and have her eat those meals throughout the week, or try my best to convince him to change up what he eats on the days she’s there, or ask him to make her something different.

Well after reading this I’m team dad.
Some of the things you posted are easy to make. I’d tell the dad to please have tortillas /cheese/chicken etc on hand so she can make a burrito or whatever. But if he doesn’t eat carb heavy food or French fries he shouldn’t be forced to make it because that’s what she likes.

You think it’s reasonable to make fish every night when she doesn’t like fish?

My sisters husband is Asian and you bet he wants fish every night. If his daughter refused to eat it, or vegetables, he’d keep pushing it until she did. Only in America do people write off entire food groups in favor of sliders and French fries nightly.

I'm American, and my parents raised me the same way. If you don't want the salmon and vegetables that we prepared, then you can go to bed hungry. Not all Americans let their kids live off mac and cheese and beef sliders.

Agreed. White bread American here. You eat dinner or there's nothing else coming. I do have an "unlimited" shelf in my fridge that kids can help themselves to, but OP's DD wouldn't be a fan. It's in season vegetables cut up, plus carrots. There's always a bowl with apples, oranges and bananas out too. Or they're welcome to have more servings of dinner.

And yes, fish is totally normal. We eat fish twice a week. Smoked salmon is my kids #1 requested meal. While we like and enjoy pasta or French fries, they aren't made often because they're just not that healthy. And yes, my DH is an athlete and needs to eat a lot of calories. You don't have to get all the calories from carbs.

My dad (autistic) has extreme food aversions that he had since childhood. He's been working with an occupational therapist and the results have been incredible. From what I've seen, it involved trying small portions of food and creating better associations. He's gone from gagging to now eating normal food like pasta, sour cream and sushi (and this is at 65! Never too old I guess). It makes me think that picky eating can be addressed by providing small exposures for kids and making food a positive experience. I feel like too many parents try fish once with their kids and "my kid hates fish."

What made your dad decide to work on this at 65? My spouse is the same way - major food aversions, but it's more than that - he can't handle the smell of food he doesn't like in our home, like if I make eggs or eat popcorn he loses his mind. I've given up hope that things might change.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:document the abuse, call cps and neogtiate custody and have him pay you to cover more care and food.

There's no abuse. CPS will laugh and hang up.

I think it was a joke.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:document the abuse, call cps and neogtiate custody and have him pay you to cover more care and food.

There's no abuse. CPS will laugh and hang up.

"Some nights (not even every night) my husband tries to serve my daughter salmon or vegetables, even though she doesn't like them. She refuses to make herself a sandwich and goes to bed hungry." Yup, a high priority for CPS.

[Anonymous]

You people are so strange. Why can’t a teenager have food preferences? Are there some foods you don’t like? I personally really dislike eggplant, should someone force me to eat it every day because it’s a “healthy food” ?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:You people are so strange. Why can’t a teenager have food preferences? Are there some foods you don’t like? I personally really dislike eggplant, should someone force me to eat it every day because it’s a “healthy food” ?

I like when people make up hypos that aren't remotely what's discussed in the post so they can be hyperbolic.

He does make stuff she likes, he just doesn't make it every day.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:You sound like you have created a drama queen monster.

Mommy dearest gets up to cook breakfast every day for her 16 year old princcess, don't you know.

OPs kid is only 16, that’s still really young. My daughter is almost 18, and I cook her whatever meals she want’s daily. So does her father. I’d be extremely disappointed if he wasn’t cooking what she wanted for her.

[Anonymous]

Congratulations! You raised a lazy kid AND you are playing a losing game with your ex. He doesn't know or care that he is playing.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:The issue is not her cooking skills. The issue is that her dad is a d@ck.
Most of us with teens, especially teen athletes, make arrangements to cook for their needs, not for our middle aged needs. So for instance I’ll make a pasta dish with meat and veg and the teens get more meat and pasta and I’ll get more veg. But I’m not going to put a plate of roasted veg and fish in front of teen athletes and pretend that’s a complete meal for them. And some people just don’t like fish. It’s rude, bordering on emotionally abusive, to repeatedly cook fish for a teen that you know hates fish. Yes, she can make a sandwich but what does it say about him and his feelings for her that this is his approach? She’s a very busy teen athlete who probably doesn’t get enough sleep and probably doesn’t have enough time to do her homework and whose parents just got a divorce and she’s probably a little upset about that, and this is what the dad does to make her life easier?
I am team mom here because dad is going out of his way to be a d@ck or is so self-centered that he can’t even see that maybe he should be thinking more about how to make her life a little easier at this stressful moment in her life.

Just stop. Mom is wrong.

That’s your opinion but I clearly have a different one. This thread is pretty divided. I don’t know where you get off saying “just stop.” Someone made you the arbiter of who can post and who can’t? I wonder if you are this “‘my way or the highway” IRL. If so, that might be why you are team dad!

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Congratulations! You raised a lazy kid AND you are playing a losing game with your ex. He doesn't know or care that he is playing.

It's all fine until he doesn't get invited to DD's wedding, lol.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:You sound like you have created a drama queen monster.

Mommy dearest gets up to cook breakfast every day for her 16 year old princcess, don't you know.

OPs kid is only 16, that’s still really young. My daughter is almost 18, and I cook her whatever meals she want’s daily. So does her father. I’d be extremely disappointed if he wasn’t cooking what she wanted for her.

good one.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:You sound like you have created a drama queen monster.

Mommy dearest gets up to cook breakfast every day for her 16 year old princcess, don't you know.

OPs kid is only 16, that’s still really young. My daughter is almost 18, and I cook her whatever meals she want’s daily. So does her father. I’d be extremely disappointed if he wasn’t cooking what she wanted for her.

good one.

Do all these people have only children or are they making whole individual meals for each kid?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Congratulations! You raised a lazy kid AND you are playing a losing game with your ex. He doesn't know or care that he is playing.

It's all fine until he doesn't get invited to DD's wedding, lol.

Actually, DD will probably have more respect for her father than her mother once she matures. He is the one doing actual parenting and Mommy Dearest is just trying to assuage her guilt for getting divorced by overdoing it for her princess.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:You people are so strange. Why can’t a teenager have food preferences? Are there some foods you don’t like? I personally really dislike eggplant, should someone force me to eat it every day because it’s a “healthy food” ?

Yes, she can but she can also cook for herself. Problem solved.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:You sound like you have created a drama queen monster.

Mommy dearest gets up to cook breakfast every day for her 16 year old princcess, don't you know.

OPs kid is only 16, that’s still really young. My daughter is almost 18, and I cook her whatever meals she want’s daily. So does her father. I’d be extremely disappointed if he wasn’t cooking what she wanted for her.

good one.

Do all these people have only children or are they making whole individual meals for each kid?

I have an only child and I think these people are nuts.