14yo refusing to go on trip

[Anonymous]

The kid needs therapy, and the family needs family therapy. Something is very wrong here.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:If it's real, your teenager dictated how it would go (or not go) every step of the way and you rewarded her. Well done.

+1

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:After OPs update, I no longer believe this is a real thread.

Correct. A troll, and a bad one too.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Is this the first time something like this has happened? If so, I'd be very concerned about what's happening in her private life. This is so beyond typical teenage annoyance and behavior. Either something serious is going on and she's acting out because of it, or she's starting to show signs of a significant mental health issue.

No, it wasn’t the first time something like this has happened. She’s done similar things before. OP

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Is this the first time something like this has happened? If so, I'd be very concerned about what's happening in her private life. This is so beyond typical teenage annoyance and behavior. Either something serious is going on and she's acting out because of it, or she's starting to show signs of a significant mental health issue.

No, it wasn’t the first time something like this has happened. She’s done similar things before. OP

And you've just ...done nothing about it? The more you post, the more it's obvious you are a terrible parent.

[Anonymous]

Does she have autism, OP?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Is this the first time something like this has happened? If so, I'd be very concerned about what's happening in her private life. This is so beyond typical teenage annoyance and behavior. Either something serious is going on and she's acting out because of it, or she's starting to show signs of a significant mental health issue.

No, it wasn’t the first time something like this has happened. She’s done similar things before. OP

OP, that sounds stressful. I think you are getting a wake up call. This isn't just a few bad days, and this isn't going to fix itself When you return from the trip, so need to address this swiftly and aggressively. Neuropsych workup, individual therapy, family therapy.

[Anonymous]

OP, you do not owe your DD an explanation. She's told to go, she goes. This should not even be posted as a question.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:If it's real, your teenager dictated how it would go (or not go) every step of the way and you rewarded her. Well done.

I think OP shouldn’t have given her donuts, but if that’s something that would work to get her into the airport, then I guess it’s fine. Same with the taxi, if the bribe works, it’s okay. Its not a perfect solutions, but in these types of situation with a rigid teen, there’s really so much you can do. How else would OP have gotten her into the cab or airport? Carrying a teen isn’t practical.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:The kid needs therapy, and the family needs family therapy. Something is very wrong here.

+1

[Anonymous]

If a troll, trolls are pathetic. If real, the entire family is pathetic top to bottom.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Is she autistic and does she habitually display mental rigidity? What is the destination and what, exactly, are her concerns about it? Maybe some of them are legitimate and you could compromise on some activities?

Good Lord she sounds like a normal intransigent teenager. Why must people always jump to diagnoses like autism as a reaction to everything?

She sounds like a spoiled brat.

Or, maybe she's exhusted from all the travel and OP only thinks of her wants, not the child's needs, especially if she needs the child's aunt to parent her.

+1

[Anonymous]

Is someone/a relative in Italy hurting your child? This is a STRONG reaction

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Have you tried really listening to her side of things? Not because you will change your mind- but so that you can take her into account next time?
I think this is the age where girls start to realize they want a say in what they do. So make her feel heard.
“We’re doing this trip, and I need you on board, but can we talk about what you would have rather done? Can we find a way to incorporate that into our next trip?”
So maybe not Hawaii- but have her help with picking an activity or a place or a hotel for the next one. Whatever she’s into. If it’s social media, there are a ton of social media popular restaurants that would be easy to add to a trip.

She’s being a jerk now, but the best way to prevent that in the future may be to give her a bit more control.

You do you but I believe this is how current parenting got us into having kids like this. It’s ok to say we’re going to Italy to visit family and not give in to a tantrum about Hawaii or find a way to appease her.
Good luck OP.

+1

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Is someone/a relative in Italy hurting your child? This is a STRONG reaction

Stay in a hotel or an Airbnb, this is not a normal reaction at all!