Missing Alabama student in Barcelona

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:This hits so close to home and my heart. My son recently was at the exact same popular nightclub Shoko on the beach in Spain. They had a table, it was hot and packed. He left his phone and friends, went outside to get fresh air thinking they’d let him back in because of purchased table. The bouncers refused because the line to get in was 200 long. So he was separated from phone, apple wallet and friends. He had no cash for taxi, no maps spoke no Catalon. After four hours of wandering around Spain he finally found two girls who spoke English who gave him directions to his hotel where he arrived safely scared but exhausted and went to sleep.

Back home in the states I could see on Life 360 that he hadn’t moved from the club in 7 hours. Waited for the club to close and when he didn’t move, knew there was a problem. Had his friends scour the beach for him in the dark in groups worried he was in the ocean because it was so close to where his phone was pinging. Finally heard from him after 15 hours when the club reopened and he retrieved his phone at 3pm Spain time. Was so upset he didn’t find a way to contact me sooner. It was the longest most terrifying night of my life.

That same night one of his friends wallet and phone were stolen. He was also held up by knife point in Italy weeks later. If you have a child studying abroad or visiting foreign countries, you must drill into them street smarts, a few important phrases in the native language, have names and phone numbers of the kids they are with, name of hotel, flight info, rules for check in or please do not let them go. We made mistakes by not doing those things. It’s not Disneyland. They can not go anywhere without their phone. They need their phone in a safe interior pocket at all times and CASH! Such a lesson to learn. Thankfully my son was not drunk so that he couldn’t function. If he had been, my heart lurches and breaks at the thought. This child could have been my boy. I am shaken to the core. This should have never happened but it so easily does. It’s so easy to be caught up in the excitement and glamour of a foreign country. Kids will be kids. Such a beautiful boy who sounds like he was a really great kid. Praying for this family with all my heart. Devastating.

Land the helicopter Mom. Spain and Italy are both far safer than the US. Kids do stupid things sometimes, but they land on their feet and it’s important for their growth. It sounds like your son was fine. Give him room to grow and don’t smother him. You are not doing him any favors!

There’s something different about your kid being so distant and in a place where they may not speak the language and be familiar with the culture. The Europe of today is not the Europe of the past.

I’m the helicopter Mom. Hard agree with you. As someone who has been to Europe multiple times over the decades, it is a much different place than 20-30 years ago, so much more dangerous. But even then it wasn’t safe. I was chased down a back alley by a man with a knife not far from the Spanish steps, barely made it to safety. It’s why I knew to keep a watch on my kid. Even then I was waaay too lax for the first few weeks. He was flying all over Europe on cheap plane tickets, staying in hostels and I had no idea with who. His Barcelona incident was a huge wake up call. Thats why I’m here to give my hard earned advice to other parents so tragedy can hopefully be averted. We were so lucky. But the truth is it can happen even here in the US. It’s important to teach your kid to be vigilant and street smarts and equally as important to keep track of the ones you love. Watching out for their safety is not controlling them. Huge difference.

Sorry helicopter mom, but this is not a story about him being in danger. You're telling this sorry like it was a close call, but it wasn't. If there's a lesson here, it's don't walk out of a nightclub without your phone and also maybe don't follow your kids so obsessively.

Um, yeah, did I ever say that wasn’t the lesson? He was stupid to walk out of the club without his phone and get lost in Barcelona hours on end. And he actually was in danger, did you not read that he also had a knife pulled on him by a gang of migrants? Do you actually think I care about what some random bot thinks about me and my parenting? How about I’ll worry about my kid and give practical advice from what I learned and you do whatever it is you do…because that’s between you, your kid and the fickle luck of life. Wishing you the best

Your son broke a world record going four hours in Barcelona without finding someone who could speak English.

How do you get through life carrying all that anger? You must be the “look outside for war zone” poster too. Must be tough feeling so bitter.

How does pointing out the obvious fact that our country is more dangerous than Spain make me "bitter?"

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I think part of the issue is lack of familiarity with neighborhoods. Apparently this is a cool bar but in a terrible neighborhood. The kids probably just know it as the place to go. I remember in the 90s there was a cool bar on 14th street and back then there was a gang turf battle over 14th street. And older colleague told me be sure to just take a cab right there and take a cab right back -/ don’t try to walk to metro as the area around the bar had a lot of shootings. Kids go to other countries and don’t know the neighborhoods so are more at risk.

+1 There are many Trip Advisor reviews that mention safety issues in that area.

+1

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:This hits so close to home and my heart. My son recently was at the exact same popular nightclub Shoko on the beach in Spain. They had a table, it was hot and packed. He left his phone and friends, went outside to get fresh air thinking they’d let him back in because of purchased table. The bouncers refused because the line to get in was 200 long. So he was separated from phone, apple wallet and friends. He had no cash for taxi, no maps spoke no Catalon. After four hours of wandering around Spain he finally found two girls who spoke English who gave him directions to his hotel where he arrived safely scared but exhausted and went to sleep.

Back home in the states I could see on Life 360 that he hadn’t moved from the club in 7 hours. Waited for the club to close and when he didn’t move, knew there was a problem. Had his friends scour the beach for him in the dark in groups worried he was in the ocean because it was so close to where his phone was pinging. Finally heard from him after 15 hours when the club reopened and he retrieved his phone at 3pm Spain time. Was so upset he didn’t find a way to contact me sooner. It was the longest most terrifying night of my life.

That same night one of his friends wallet and phone were stolen. He was also held up by knife point in Italy weeks later. If you have a child studying abroad or visiting foreign countries, you must drill into them street smarts, a few important phrases in the native language, have names and phone numbers of the kids they are with, name of hotel, flight info, rules for check in or please do not let them go. We made mistakes by not doing those things. It’s not Disneyland. They can not go anywhere without their phone. They need their phone in a safe interior pocket at all times and CASH! Such a lesson to learn. Thankfully my son was not drunk so that he couldn’t function. If he had been, my heart lurches and breaks at the thought. This child could have been my boy. I am shaken to the core. This should have never happened but it so easily does. It’s so easy to be caught up in the excitement and glamour of a foreign country. Kids will be kids. Such a beautiful boy who sounds like he was a really great kid. Praying for this family with all my heart. Devastating.

Kids don’t listen. And rich kids who grew up in 100% safe and swank nabes are the most arrogant and naive. Reminds me of undergrad at Columbia in the 80s. Every rich classmate was arrogantly oblivious to how dangerous the neighborhood was. Then they’d inevitably get mugged and laugh it off. Not realizing the psychopaths who mug you frequently shoot or stab victims for fun.

[Anonymous]

Experts believe he was robbed and assaulted.

[Anonymous]

This is tragic and unfortunate and bad things can happen to anyone anywhere but rich Alabama frat bro drunk on a foreign beach past midnight means asking for trouble and getting it.

[Anonymous]

The thing that makes no sense is Spanish press reporting the phone was unlocked when it was found on the person they arrested. No young person leaves their phone unlocked since they all have Apple pay and banking apps.

[Anonymous]

I think the poster who said nobody had a phone years ago has a point. I know the world was safer then, but I wonder if a phone gives kids a false sense of security. When I was abroad, I knew I was alone and on my own. No easy way to contact home or my coordinators without going to an internet cafe. Knowing I was alone, I didn't do things like go places where I wasn't familiar with the neighborhood. I studied maps of the city and planned out how to get to and from places before leaving. I knew I either had to know enough of the language to get by or have another plan that wasn't Google translate. People depend way too much on their phones nowadays (me included) and it can be dangerous when that phone is suddenly gone.

Also, agree with nothing good happens after midnight. I would never dream of going to random bars in a foreign city where I didn't speak the language past midnight. Just don't do it.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:I think the poster who said nobody had a phone years ago has a point. I know the world was safer then, but I wonder if a phone gives kids a false sense of security. When I was abroad, I knew I was alone and on my own. No easy way to contact home or my coordinators without going to an internet cafe. Knowing I was alone, I didn't do things like go places where I wasn't familiar with the neighborhood. I studied maps of the city and planned out how to get to and from places before leaving. I knew I either had to know enough of the language to get by or have another plan that wasn't Google translate. People depend way too much on their phones nowadays (me included) and it can be dangerous when that phone is suddenly gone.

Also, agree with nothing good happens after midnight. I would never dream of going to random bars in a foreign city where I didn't speak the language past midnight. Just don't do it.

I would not either but that's not how most 20 something kids think these days (or really perhaps ever? I was always a homebody) Many kids love clubbing and clubbing does happen past midnight. I also think young men especially don't feel they are in danger the way young women do. We have always had to be aware and avoid certain places, watch how much we drink, stick with friends, be on guard about shady strangers...And as you say the world was safer then. 20+ years ago there were pickpockets in Barcelona but nowhere near what it's like now. That beach (I was there a couple years ago) feels unsafe during the day time with shady guys around.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:The thing that makes no sense is Spanish press reporting the phone was unlocked when it was found on the person they arrested. No young person leaves their phone unlocked since they all have Apple pay and banking apps.

But if he has facial recognition couldn’t someone put the phone up to his face and then just change the passcode? Or force him to change the passcode at knife point?
I don’t know how this fits with the witness who saw him up on the rocks but I wonder if he was drugged at the bar or shortly thereafter. I always tell my girls to watch their drinks carefully to not get roofied but I think boys aren’t as trained to do that. Of course if the bartender is in on it then it doesn’t help you to watch your drink, except maybe if you watch it coming out the tap directly. (Even a bottle pour could be spiked if the bartender is on on it.)

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:I think the poster who said nobody had a phone years ago has a point. I know the world was safer then, but I wonder if a phone gives kids a false sense of security. When I was abroad, I knew I was alone and on my own. No easy way to contact home or my coordinators without going to an internet cafe. Knowing I was alone, I didn't do things like go places where I wasn't familiar with the neighborhood. I studied maps of the city and planned out how to get to and from places before leaving. I knew I either had to know enough of the language to get by or have another plan that wasn't Google translate. People depend way too much on their phones nowadays (me included) and it can be dangerous when that phone is suddenly gone.

Also, agree with nothing good happens after midnight. I would never dream of going to random bars in a foreign city where I didn't speak the language past midnight. Just don't do it.

I agree that people rely on the phone way too much. If your phone dies and you can’t call an uber, I have met people who walk around just with their phones with Apple Pay and don’t even carry around the physical cards, you don’t give google maps anymore to walk home. If your phone goes out somewhere unfamiliar you are extremely screwed if you depend on it.

[Anonymous]

This happens often during spring break. Remember the girl who drank too much last year and drowned in the ocean. She was in the DR with friends who left her with an innocent young man and they went swimming.

Terrible for everyone.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:This happens often during spring break. Remember the girl who drank too much last year and drowned in the ocean. She was in the DR with friends who left her with an innocent young man and they went swimming.

Terrible for everyone.

Yes, this is so sad. I think when drinking/impaired with friends (women or men) it's so important to stay together or at least with one other person, watch drinks, etc. Not that he deserved anything but it brings out those safety tips.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Experts believe he was robbed and assaulted.

Fox News? ok. Must be true then.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:This hits so close to home and my heart. My son recently was at the exact same popular nightclub Shoko on the beach in Spain. They had a table, it was hot and packed. He left his phone and friends, went outside to get fresh air thinking they’d let him back in because of purchased table. The bouncers refused because the line to get in was 200 long. So he was separated from phone, apple wallet and friends. He had no cash for taxi, no maps spoke no Catalon. After four hours of wandering around Spain he finally found two girls who spoke English who gave him directions to his hotel where he arrived safely scared but exhausted and went to sleep.

Back home in the states I could see on Life 360 that he hadn’t moved from the club in 7 hours. Waited for the club to close and when he didn’t move, knew there was a problem. Had his friends scour the beach for him in the dark in groups worried he was in the ocean because it was so close to where his phone was pinging. Finally heard from him after 15 hours when the club reopened and he retrieved his phone at 3pm Spain time. Was so upset he didn’t find a way to contact me sooner. It was the longest most terrifying night of my life.

That same night one of his friends wallet and phone were stolen. He was also held up by knife point in Italy weeks later. If you have a child studying abroad or visiting foreign countries, you must drill into them street smarts, a few important phrases in the native language, have names and phone numbers of the kids they are with, name of hotel, flight info, rules for check in or please do not let them go. We made mistakes by not doing those things. It’s not Disneyland. They can not go anywhere without their phone. They need their phone in a safe interior pocket at all times and CASH! Such a lesson to learn. Thankfully my son was not drunk so that he couldn’t function. If he had been, my heart lurches and breaks at the thought. This child could have been my boy. I am shaken to the core. This should have never happened but it so easily does. It’s so easy to be caught up in the excitement and glamour of a foreign country. Kids will be kids. Such a beautiful boy who sounds like he was a really great kid. Praying for this family with all my heart. Devastating.

I mean, yea, tough story and glad your kid was ok, but had you not been tracking him the whole entire thing would have happened anyway and you probably would never even have known about it. College kids have been studying in Europe for generations without being tracked.

A girl would have used a friend’s phone to text mom. Also, I have my daughters’ friends contact info in my phone so I would have just texted someone she was with.

Having people look out for you is not a bad thing as long as it not controlling.

My point is that back in the day nobody had phones. And everybody was fine.

No everybody was NOT fine.

+1

Yes, we were. I was, my spouse was, and three of my kids who studied abroad a generation later also were fine.

Oh then, ok! Just because you and 4 other people you know were fine that means everyone will be fine. You either have main character syndrome or are just plain dumb.

[Anonymous]

Foreign locales whose entire GDP is spendthrift travelers obviously have motive to quickly bury violent crimes. These European cities are beautiful primitive shitholes