Guac and queso if you make over $450k

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:We never get extras like that, but we make less than 150k. I feel like if we made over 450k, we'd splurge more often. But I do agree with making sure kids understand that extras cost more. A lot of kids don't get that at all because their parents have never explained it, and never put ANY limits on what they get based on cost. You can tell this in the behavior of a lot of kids.

I don’t agree. My parents didn’t put limits on stuff like this when I was a kid, but when I left their house and my food budget was $200/month, I figured it out.
I mean, getting guac on my burrito didn’t make me stupid. I could still do simple math.

It's not just about learning to budget. It's about learning how the world works.

I have kids in elementary, and it's very easy to tell the difference between the kids whose parents are teaching them that stuff costs money and that money is not infinite, versus the ones whose parents just buy them whatever without any discussion or reference to money.

I've watched 9 year olds tease a kid for not having an X-box, for never having been to Disney, for having the wrong shoes. They do this because they literally think the only reason not to have that stuff is being so uncool you don't know you should get it. Because for them, that's the only obstacle -- knowing about stuff they want. Once they know, they just tell their parents and their parents buy it. So the concept that a kid might know what an Xbox is, and want an Xbox, but not have one because his parents can't afford one, doesn't even cross their minds.

And people who grow up with that mindset carry it into adulthood, even after they learn how money works. I'm in my 40s and I still encounter people who will look at you just totally baffled because you don't have something they have. I've learned this is actually a good way to vet how down to earth someone is -- mention something you would like but note that it's just not in your budget right now. The way people react to that tells you a lot about them. The people who are just totally confused or try to argue with you about it (that's my favorite, the people who will sit there and explain that of course you can afford something, despite not knowing anything about your finances) are just clueless, and you have to be careful around them.

How could you possibly know this? Unless you’re in the house with the parents observing how they’re raising their kids, you only ASSUME you know based on observations of the kids’ behavior. It’s a common assumption made by folks who don’t understand that kids are people.

DP here. I disagree. I can definitely see a difference between kids who have been raised to know the value of a dollar vs those whose parents just buy them whatever they want. I've been out with those kids and things they will order or ask for when I am entertaining them is sometimes a bit shocking. I have had kids whine when I say, "no, we are doing it this way". I have actually had this discussion with my kids about being conscientious to not take advantage when another parent is hosting. There are definitely kids who do not understand that concept and having observed how the parents are with the kids, I can see it comes directly from the parenting.

Taking advantage of you by ordering extra food? You guys are so so weird and cheap.

DP. No, take advantage by seeing how much they can get out of you. I know exactly what PP is talking about. Like it's normal for kids to get excited about ordering food that sounds good, but you instantly learn which kids sometimes hear "no" and those who don't. It will be something like ordering pizza for a group of kids and there's one kid who wants, like, an entire lobster pizza for themselves. And when you say "no, we're going to order four pizzas for the table and they need to be things multiple people like -- plus that lobster pizza is like twice what everything else costs" they get mad and whine.

I have also eaten out with other families and the kids will ask for all these extras, eat like 10% of it, and the parents will just throw the extra food in the trash. I've seen this so many times. This isn't even about money, it's just freaking wasteful. We're always reminding our kids to only order as much as they think they can eat. Something we say often is that we can always order more later if we're still hungry. Which we do, if we finish what we order and are still hungry. But we dont' order a kid two appetizers and an entree and a dessert only to throw most of it away. We can afford it, it's just incredibly stupid and wasteful.

So you have hang out with adults and children who you think purposefully try and get out what they financially can from you in the form of food? Why should we take advice from someone who looks down on her own and her children’s social circle? And can’t seem to separate herself from people with poor values?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:the stupidest thing here is putting an actual $$$ amount. Is it ok at 425k? 475k? I fully agree with all the posters talking about recognizing individual costs.

At 500k (LOL) I'd still would never add guac/queso, but that's because I'm going to just get a quick meal and know it's not worth it. I will spend extra $$$ at places that are worth it, but Chiptole is definitely not one of them.

Also big shoutout to people making near 500k who still look at grocery prices. I would absolutely not buy something overpriced just because. I also will look at every price and never be like the poster just throwing it in the cart/basket without looking at the price before (please remind this to my wife who actually is the breadwinner overall).

My goal in life is to maintain my income and wealth so that price will never ever be a factor in what I, my children, or grandchildren choose to eat.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:We never get extras like that, but we make less than 150k. I feel like if we made over 450k, we'd splurge more often. But I do agree with making sure kids understand that extras cost more. A lot of kids don't get that at all because their parents have never explained it, and never put ANY limits on what they get based on cost. You can tell this in the behavior of a lot of kids.

I don’t agree. My parents didn’t put limits on stuff like this when I was a kid, but when I left their house and my food budget was $200/month, I figured it out.
I mean, getting guac on my burrito didn’t make me stupid. I could still do simple math.

It's not just about learning to budget. It's about learning how the world works.

I have kids in elementary, and it's very easy to tell the difference between the kids whose parents are teaching them that stuff costs money and that money is not infinite, versus the ones whose parents just buy them whatever without any discussion or reference to money.

I've watched 9 year olds tease a kid for not having an X-box, for never having been to Disney, for having the wrong shoes. They do this because they literally think the only reason not to have that stuff is being so uncool you don't know you should get it. Because for them, that's the only obstacle -- knowing about stuff they want. Once they know, they just tell their parents and their parents buy it. So the concept that a kid might know what an Xbox is, and want an Xbox, but not have one because his parents can't afford one, doesn't even cross their minds.

And people who grow up with that mindset carry it into adulthood, even after they learn how money works. I'm in my 40s and I still encounter people who will look at you just totally baffled because you don't have something they have. I've learned this is actually a good way to vet how down to earth someone is -- mention something you would like but note that it's just not in your budget right now. The way people react to that tells you a lot about them. The people who are just totally confused or try to argue with you about it (that's my favorite, the people who will sit there and explain that of course you can afford something, despite not knowing anything about your finances) are just clueless, and you have to be careful around them.

How could you possibly know this? Unless you’re in the house with the parents observing how they’re raising their kids, you only ASSUME you know based on observations of the kids’ behavior. It’s a common assumption made by folks who don’t understand that kids are people.

DP here. I disagree. I can definitely see a difference between kids who have been raised to know the value of a dollar vs those whose parents just buy them whatever they want. I've been out with those kids and things they will order or ask for when I am entertaining them is sometimes a bit shocking. I have had kids whine when I say, "no, we are doing it this way". I have actually had this discussion with my kids about being conscientious to not take advantage when another parent is hosting. There are definitely kids who do not understand that concept and having observed how the parents are with the kids, I can see it comes directly from the parenting.

You have missed the point. You have NO IDEA how any individual kid is being raised. You are making ASSUMPTIONS. Have you ever seen siblings who have drastically different financial values and outcomes? Of course you have! Do you really believe they were raised differently from one another?

Re-read your bolded statement. It’s actually possible to buy your kids whatever you want AND raise them to know the value of money, and more importantly, how to be polite and well-mannered. No need to skimp on the guac.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:We never get extras like that, but we make less than 150k. I feel like if we made over 450k, we'd splurge more often. But I do agree with making sure kids understand that extras cost more. A lot of kids don't get that at all because their parents have never explained it, and never put ANY limits on what they get based on cost. You can tell this in the behavior of a lot of kids.

I don’t agree. My parents didn’t put limits on stuff like this when I was a kid, but when I left their house and my food budget was $200/month, I figured it out.
I mean, getting guac on my burrito didn’t make me stupid. I could still do simple math.

It's not just about learning to budget. It's about learning how the world works.

I have kids in elementary, and it's very easy to tell the difference between the kids whose parents are teaching them that stuff costs money and that money is not infinite, versus the ones whose parents just buy them whatever without any discussion or reference to money.

I've watched 9 year olds tease a kid for not having an X-box, for never having been to Disney, for having the wrong shoes. They do this because they literally think the only reason not to have that stuff is being so uncool you don't know you should get it. Because for them, that's the only obstacle -- knowing about stuff they want. Once they know, they just tell their parents and their parents buy it. So the concept that a kid might know what an Xbox is, and want an Xbox, but not have one because his parents can't afford one, doesn't even cross their minds.

And people who grow up with that mindset carry it into adulthood, even after they learn how money works. I'm in my 40s and I still encounter people who will look at you just totally baffled because you don't have something they have. I've learned this is actually a good way to vet how down to earth someone is -- mention something you would like but note that it's just not in your budget right now. The way people react to that tells you a lot about them. The people who are just totally confused or try to argue with you about it (that's my favorite, the people who will sit there and explain that of course you can afford something, despite not knowing anything about your finances) are just clueless, and you have to be careful around them.

How could you possibly know this? Unless you’re in the house with the parents observing how they’re raising their kids, you only ASSUME you know based on observations of the kids’ behavior. It’s a common assumption made by folks who don’t understand that kids are people.

DP here. I disagree. I can definitely see a difference between kids who have been raised to know the value of a dollar vs those whose parents just buy them whatever they want. I've been out with those kids and things they will order or ask for when I am entertaining them is sometimes a bit shocking. I have had kids whine when I say, "no, we are doing it this way". I have actually had this discussion with my kids about being conscientious to not take advantage when another parent is hosting. There are definitely kids who do not understand that concept and having observed how the parents are with the kids, I can see it comes directly from the parenting.

Taking advantage of you by ordering extra food? You guys are so so weird and cheap.

DP. No, take advantage by seeing how much they can get out of you. I know exactly what PP is talking about. Like it's normal for kids to get excited about ordering food that sounds good, but you instantly learn which kids sometimes hear "no" and those who don't. It will be something like ordering pizza for a group of kids and there's one kid who wants, like, an entire lobster pizza for themselves. And when you say "no, we're going to order four pizzas for the table and they need to be things multiple people like -- plus that lobster pizza is like twice what everything else costs" they get mad and whine.

I have also eaten out with other families and the kids will ask for all these extras, eat like 10% of it, and the parents will just throw the extra food in the trash. I've seen this so many times. This isn't even about money, it's just freaking wasteful. We're always reminding our kids to only order as much as they think they can eat. Something we say often is that we can always order more later if we're still hungry. Which we do, if we finish what we order and are still hungry. But we dont' order a kid two appetizers and an entree and a dessert only to throw most of it away. We can afford it, it's just incredibly stupid and wasteful.

So you have hang out with adults and children who you think purposefully try and get out what they financially can from you in the form of food? Why should we take advice from someone who looks down on her own and her children’s social circle? And can’t seem to separate herself from people with poor values?

DP here. You are missing the point. No one thinks these kids are purposely trying to use you for free food. It’s about having a level of awareness that they can’t always get everything they want, especially when other parents are footing the bill. Adding bacon to your burger, fine. Whining when I say we are getting burgers when they really were in the mood for sushi, not fine.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:We never get extras like that, but we make less than 150k. I feel like if we made over 450k, we'd splurge more often. But I do agree with making sure kids understand that extras cost more. A lot of kids don't get that at all because their parents have never explained it, and never put ANY limits on what they get based on cost. You can tell this in the behavior of a lot of kids.

I don’t agree. My parents didn’t put limits on stuff like this when I was a kid, but when I left their house and my food budget was $200/month, I figured it out.
I mean, getting guac on my burrito didn’t make me stupid. I could still do simple math.

It's not just about learning to budget. It's about learning how the world works.

I have kids in elementary, and it's very easy to tell the difference between the kids whose parents are teaching them that stuff costs money and that money is not infinite, versus the ones whose parents just buy them whatever without any discussion or reference to money.

I've watched 9 year olds tease a kid for not having an X-box, for never having been to Disney, for having the wrong shoes. They do this because they literally think the only reason not to have that stuff is being so uncool you don't know you should get it. Because for them, that's the only obstacle -- knowing about stuff they want. Once they know, they just tell their parents and their parents buy it. So the concept that a kid might know what an Xbox is, and want an Xbox, but not have one because his parents can't afford one, doesn't even cross their minds.

And people who grow up with that mindset carry it into adulthood, even after they learn how money works. I'm in my 40s and I still encounter people who will look at you just totally baffled because you don't have something they have. I've learned this is actually a good way to vet how down to earth someone is -- mention something you would like but note that it's just not in your budget right now. The way people react to that tells you a lot about them. The people who are just totally confused or try to argue with you about it (that's my favorite, the people who will sit there and explain that of course you can afford something, despite not knowing anything about your finances) are just clueless, and you have to be careful around them.

How could you possibly know this? Unless you’re in the house with the parents observing how they’re raising their kids, you only ASSUME you know based on observations of the kids’ behavior. It’s a common assumption made by folks who don’t understand that kids are people.

Sure, kids are people. People who are heavily influenced by their experiences. You can absolutely tell what kind of parenting kids are getting at home. It's not a question of expecting kids to be perfect or get it right all the time, it's their general demeanor. By 8 or 9, you can tell which kids never hear "no" and don't know what money is. When you are hosting kids in your home, chaperoning field trips, etc., this stuff becomes very clear. It's not about expecting kids to behave like adults or be perfect all the time. You can just tell what they know and what they've been taught based on their behavior and what they say.

And just so you know, when we discover a kid is clueless about this stuff, we aren't judging the kids. We're judging their parents.

Nope, the kid might hear “no” 1,000 times a day at home. You might be witnessing the god-given stubborn or selfish personality the kid’s parents are trying to navigate.

It’s hilarious that you think admitting to being highly judgmental is some kind of mic drop. Hopefully your kids aren’t too influenced by you

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Teach them how to make guacamole at home. Once they see how delicious the homemade guacamole is compared to anything they can get outside, they will skip the chipotle one.

My kids get their bowls home (double helping of corn) and they make the guacamole at home. Mashed avocado, salt, lemon, smallest quantities of minced - onion, garlic, green chillies, and cilantro. Takes less than a couple minutes. Leftovers can be used for avocado toast,

No. The idea is not to deny your kids, but teach them some DIY stuff that reduces the cost. Also, they should be price concious consumers.

"Are we poor?"
Yes, you are.

No. Take this trad wife nonsense elsewhere.

[Anonymous]

dumbest post ever.

at 450K, who is worrying about queso and guac.

i do understand the point of they can't have everything they want, but chipotle is not the place to make this point.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:dumbest post ever.

at 450K, who is worrying about queso and guac.

i do understand the point of they can't have everything they want, but chipotle is not the place to make this point.

Op. Who appears to be controlling and judging almost to the point of mental illness.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:We never get extras like that, but we make less than 150k. I feel like if we made over 450k, we'd splurge more often. But I do agree with making sure kids understand that extras cost more. A lot of kids don't get that at all because their parents have never explained it, and never put ANY limits on what they get based on cost. You can tell this in the behavior of a lot of kids.

I don’t agree. My parents didn’t put limits on stuff like this when I was a kid, but when I left their house and my food budget was $200/month, I figured it out.
I mean, getting guac on my burrito didn’t make me stupid. I could still do simple math.

It's not just about learning to budget. It's about learning how the world works.

I have kids in elementary, and it's very easy to tell the difference between the kids whose parents are teaching them that stuff costs money and that money is not infinite, versus the ones whose parents just buy them whatever without any discussion or reference to money.

I've watched 9 year olds tease a kid for not having an X-box, for never having been to Disney, for having the wrong shoes. They do this because they literally think the only reason not to have that stuff is being so uncool you don't know you should get it. Because for them, that's the only obstacle -- knowing about stuff they want. Once they know, they just tell their parents and their parents buy it. So the concept that a kid might know what an Xbox is, and want an Xbox, but not have one because his parents can't afford one, doesn't even cross their minds.

And people who grow up with that mindset carry it into adulthood, even after they learn how money works. I'm in my 40s and I still encounter people who will look at you just totally baffled because you don't have something they have. I've learned this is actually a good way to vet how down to earth someone is -- mention something you would like but note that it's just not in your budget right now. The way people react to that tells you a lot about them. The people who are just totally confused or try to argue with you about it (that's my favorite, the people who will sit there and explain that of course you can afford something, despite not knowing anything about your finances) are just clueless, and you have to be careful around them.

How could you possibly know this? Unless you’re in the house with the parents observing how they’re raising their kids, you only ASSUME you know based on observations of the kids’ behavior. It’s a common assumption made by folks who don’t understand that kids are people.

DP here. I disagree. I can definitely see a difference between kids who have been raised to know the value of a dollar vs those whose parents just buy them whatever they want. I've been out with those kids and things they will order or ask for when I am entertaining them is sometimes a bit shocking. I have had kids whine when I say, "no, we are doing it this way". I have actually had this discussion with my kids about being conscientious to not take advantage when another parent is hosting. There are definitely kids who do not understand that concept and having observed how the parents are with the kids, I can see it comes directly from the parenting.

You have missed the point. You have NO IDEA how any individual kid is being raised. You are making ASSUMPTIONS. Have you ever seen siblings who have drastically different financial values and outcomes? Of course you have! Do you really believe they were raised differently from one another?

Re-read your bolded statement. It’s actually possible to buy your kids whatever you want AND raise them to know the value of money, and more importantly, how to be polite and well-mannered. No need to skimp on the guac.

Actually, I have first hand knowledge of how these kids are being raised because I’ve gone out with them with their parents multiple times. Have even vacationed with them. And have seen it over and over again. So in my personal experience, it’s a direct result of the parents never saying no. YMMV.

As far as siblings go, I’ve only seen this behavior with only children. Not to say all only children are like this but the kids who I am talking about are.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:We make way more than that and I've always side-eyed my husband for getting both, lol. But I also don't say anything, because I'm not trying to control him.

My kids don't like either, so that's a non-issue, but we do try to limit the "extras" just as a matter of not overdoing it, and keeping some things special. So choose 1 extra, or maybe that thing that costs extra is a special treat. One time one of my kids was super hungry and ordered steak and chicken on a salad at chop't. I wasn't involved in the order, but that would have been an example where I would have encouraged her to pick one.

I know we can afford it, but I don't think we (or my kids) should get everything we want all the time.

Same and we are wealthy. Sometimes I think: one day I will die and my kids will live better than I do on my own money. But I can see they have a healthy relationship with money. They would notice the cost of a water at place A is 3x the cost of a water at place B. I spend a fortune on travel so it isn’t like I am thrifty with all things…but on things like extras like this, sure. FWIW, my husband’s burrito at Chipotle is about $26 with guac and double meat. I think that’s ridiculous.

OP here. Thank you both. Glad I'm not totally crazy.

And this kind of mindset helps you retain your wealth.

Which OP agreed that her kids would live better on her $$ than she did.

If that’s your intention fine, but realize you’re also setting up an unhealthy dynamic.

Uh, wrong on both accounts:

I’m the one who said (not OP): “Sometimes I think: one day I will die and my kids will live better than I do on my own money. But I can see they have a healthy relationship with money. They would notice the cost of a water at place A is 3x the cost of a water at place B. I spend a fortune on travel so it isn’t like I am thrifty with all things…but on things like extras like this, sure.”

And obviously my kids have a healthy dynamic. They know to look for discount codes or coupons, just like I do. Seems idiotic to willingly pay more for something just because they have more.

When my kids were younger, we’d be out and they would ask me to buy something. I would tell them if they wanted it, they could use their own money… And most of the time they would say they didn’t want it that much. I think that’s a great lesson for kids. You can’t want something so much only when you’re not the one paying for it. There are wants and needs, and they are not the same thing. I think it’s also valuable for people of all ages to learn to delay gratification.

OP agreed with you.

Hoarding wealth to pass on to your kids is setting up a bad dynamic, no matter how much you want to protest.

You’re praising your kids for being just like you. Thats control. Deny all you want.

As I said, I spend lavishly on vacations. Kids enjoy that - hotels, first class, experiences. It’s not like it’s rice and beans and please sir, can I have some more. But let’s say I am booking an excursion for a trip. I will take a second to Google if there is a coupon code. If not, fine. If there is, I use it.

See that’s the difference between you and me. I think to myself, this small business has put a coupon out there to draw in more customers. It’s probably owned by locals on this island that I’m visiting. I have millions of dollars. I’m staging in a luxury resort. Why would I pay myself on the back for finding a coupon to use on this snorkeling trip so that the boat captain only breaks even instead of making a profit? I think it’s gross to use coupons when you’re patronizing a small business, if you have the means to not use one, and especially if you were planning to patronize them anyways even without the coupon.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:We never get extras like that, but we make less than 150k. I feel like if we made over 450k, we'd splurge more often. But I do agree with making sure kids understand that extras cost more. A lot of kids don't get that at all because their parents have never explained it, and never put ANY limits on what they get based on cost. You can tell this in the behavior of a lot of kids.

I don’t agree. My parents didn’t put limits on stuff like this when I was a kid, but when I left their house and my food budget was $200/month, I figured it out.
I mean, getting guac on my burrito didn’t make me stupid. I could still do simple math.

It's not just about learning to budget. It's about learning how the world works.

I have kids in elementary, and it's very easy to tell the difference between the kids whose parents are teaching them that stuff costs money and that money is not infinite, versus the ones whose parents just buy them whatever without any discussion or reference to money.

I've watched 9 year olds tease a kid for not having an X-box, for never having been to Disney, for having the wrong shoes. They do this because they literally think the only reason not to have that stuff is being so uncool you don't know you should get it. Because for them, that's the only obstacle -- knowing about stuff they want. Once they know, they just tell their parents and their parents buy it. So the concept that a kid might know what an Xbox is, and want an Xbox, but not have one because his parents can't afford one, doesn't even cross their minds.

And people who grow up with that mindset carry it into adulthood, even after they learn how money works. I'm in my 40s and I still encounter people who will look at you just totally baffled because you don't have something they have. I've learned this is actually a good way to vet how down to earth someone is -- mention something you would like but note that it's just not in your budget right now. The way people react to that tells you a lot about them. The people who are just totally confused or try to argue with you about it (that's my favorite, the people who will sit there and explain that of course you can afford something, despite not knowing anything about your finances) are just clueless, and you have to be careful around them.

How could you possibly know this? Unless you’re in the house with the parents observing how they’re raising their kids, you only ASSUME you know based on observations of the kids’ behavior. It’s a common assumption made by folks who don’t understand that kids are people.

DP here. I disagree. I can definitely see a difference between kids who have been raised to know the value of a dollar vs those whose parents just buy them whatever they want. I've been out with those kids and things they will order or ask for when I am entertaining them is sometimes a bit shocking. I have had kids whine when I say, "no, we are doing it this way". I have actually had this discussion with my kids about being conscientious to not take advantage when another parent is hosting. There are definitely kids who do not understand that concept and having observed how the parents are with the kids, I can see it comes directly from the parenting.

You have missed the point. You have NO IDEA how any individual kid is being raised. You are making ASSUMPTIONS. Have you ever seen siblings who have drastically different financial values and outcomes? Of course you have! Do you really believe they were raised differently from one another?

Re-read your bolded statement. It’s actually possible to buy your kids whatever you want AND raise them to know the value of money, and more importantly, how to be polite and well-mannered. No need to skimp on the guac.

Actually, I have first hand knowledge of how these kids are being raised because I’ve gone out with them with their parents multiple times. Have even vacationed with them. And have seen it over and over again. So in my personal experience, it’s a direct result of the parents never saying no. YMMV.

As far as siblings go, I’ve only seen this behavior with only children. Not to say all only children are like this but the kids who I am talking about are.

+1 to the seeing how they are raised. There are a handful of families that we have socialize with enough that I can tell when it's a "bad moment" or a regular behavior.

Although I will say, I haven't see this exclusively with only children -I've seen it with onlies, youngest and oldest (not middles, but I think I only know one or two middle kids!).

And a few of the most polite kids I know are onlies - but I also have seen their parents proactively teaching and modeling this politeness.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:the stupidest thing here is putting an actual $$$ amount. Is it ok at 425k? 475k? I fully agree with all the posters talking about recognizing individual costs.

At 500k (LOL) I'd still would never add guac/queso, but that's because I'm going to just get a quick meal and know it's not worth it. I will spend extra $$$ at places that are worth it, but Chiptole is definitely not one of them.

Also big shoutout to people making near 500k who still look at grocery prices. I would absolutely not buy something overpriced just because. I also will look at every price and never be like the poster just throwing it in the cart/basket without looking at the price before (please remind this to my wife who actually is the breadwinner overall).

My goal in life is to maintain my income and wealth so that price will never ever be a factor in what I, my children, or grandchildren choose to eat.

I'm the poster you are responding to. Even If I made 10x this, I'd still hate buying the exact same item for double the cost unnecessarily (eg planning ahead for a Costco run vs last min. worse brand at the local grocery store).

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I’m a contractor and I always let my workers pick the options…I pay and don’t make as much as you

Your employees aren't spoiled kids.

But wonder if they'd prefer cash bonus instead

A kid saying yes when asked if they want a vegetable with their lunch, or asking for a smaller portion is not a spoiled kid.

Guac is not an extra vegetable. Sure it has veggies in it, but you’re making it sound like Oliver Twist is at home asking for spinach and mom says no. It’s an over priced dip when out to eat. It may have great health benefits, but kids can eat the 5 avocados I got from Lidl this morning for the same pricr.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:We never get extras like that, but we make less than 150k. I feel like if we made over 450k, we'd splurge more often. But I do agree with making sure kids understand that extras cost more. A lot of kids don't get that at all because their parents have never explained it, and never put ANY limits on what they get based on cost. You can tell this in the behavior of a lot of kids.

I don’t agree. My parents didn’t put limits on stuff like this when I was a kid, but when I left their house and my food budget was $200/month, I figured it out.
I mean, getting guac on my burrito didn’t make me stupid. I could still do simple math.

It's not just about learning to budget. It's about learning how the world works.

I have kids in elementary, and it's very easy to tell the difference between the kids whose parents are teaching them that stuff costs money and that money is not infinite, versus the ones whose parents just buy them whatever without any discussion or reference to money.

I've watched 9 year olds tease a kid for not having an X-box, for never having been to Disney, for having the wrong shoes. They do this because they literally think the only reason not to have that stuff is being so uncool you don't know you should get it. Because for them, that's the only obstacle -- knowing about stuff they want. Once they know, they just tell their parents and their parents buy it. So the concept that a kid might know what an Xbox is, and want an Xbox, but not have one because his parents can't afford one, doesn't even cross their minds.

And people who grow up with that mindset carry it into adulthood, even after they learn how money works. I'm in my 40s and I still encounter people who will look at you just totally baffled because you don't have something they have. I've learned this is actually a good way to vet how down to earth someone is -- mention something you would like but note that it's just not in your budget right now. The way people react to that tells you a lot about them. The people who are just totally confused or try to argue with you about it (that's my favorite, the people who will sit there and explain that of course you can afford something, despite not knowing anything about your finances) are just clueless, and you have to be careful around them.

How could you possibly know this? Unless you’re in the house with the parents observing how they’re raising their kids, you only ASSUME you know based on observations of the kids’ behavior. It’s a common assumption made by folks who don’t understand that kids are people.

DP here. I disagree. I can definitely see a difference between kids who have been raised to know the value of a dollar vs those whose parents just buy them whatever they want. I've been out with those kids and things they will order or ask for when I am entertaining them is sometimes a bit shocking. I have had kids whine when I say, "no, we are doing it this way". I have actually had this discussion with my kids about being conscientious to not take advantage when another parent is hosting. There are definitely kids who do not understand that concept and having observed how the parents are with the kids, I can see it comes directly from the parenting.

You have missed the point. You have NO IDEA how any individual kid is being raised. You are making ASSUMPTIONS. Have you ever seen siblings who have drastically different financial values and outcomes? Of course you have! Do you really believe they were raised differently from one another?

Re-read your bolded statement. It’s actually possible to buy your kids whatever you want AND raise them to know the value of money, and more importantly, how to be polite and well-mannered. No need to skimp on the guac.

Actually, I have first hand knowledge of how these kids are being raised because I’ve gone out with them with their parents multiple times. Have even vacationed with them. And have seen it over and over again. So in my personal experience, it’s a direct result of the parents never saying no. YMMV.

As far as siblings go, I’ve only seen this behavior with only children. Not to say all only children are like this but the kids who I am talking about are.

Welp, you’re the average of the five people you spend the most time with, they say. Maybe time to look in the mirror if these are the types of people you choose to spend your time with…

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I’m a contractor and I always let my workers pick the options…I pay and don’t make as much as you

Your employees aren't spoiled kids.

But wonder if they'd prefer cash bonus instead

A kid saying yes when asked if they want a vegetable with their lunch, or asking for a smaller portion is not a spoiled kid.

Guac is not an extra vegetable. Sure it has veggies in it, but you’re making it sound like Oliver Twist is at home asking for spinach and mom says no. It’s an over priced dip when out to eat. It may have great health benefits, but kids can eat the 5 avocados I got from Lidl this morning for the same pricr.

So why are you taking them out to eat at all! Why didn’t you buy some chicken, rice, beans, and tortillas at Lidl this morning? You made an entire trip just for avocados? Seems like a waste of money AND time…