BIL wants to use our house to get ready for wedding — WWYD?

[Anonymous]

Sounds like everyone is local so….

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:What is with all these cheap adult siblings refusing to get hotel rooms?

All of thissssss

For a few hours? The timing doesn’t work out if you need to check out in the morning or can’t check in until 3.

So no one had a hotel room the previous day or the night of the wedding? Get both nights. Duh.

Or just pop on over to your brother’s house for a few hours even if his wife is an uptight control freak nobody likes.

[Anonymous]

Yes, you’re being unreasonable!

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:My husband’s younger brother is getting married here in town. My ILs live in a small one-bedroom condo in a retirement community, so they can’t host. We’re the only family locally and live in a modest-size house with kids at home.

The couple has a hotel block, and the bride and bridal party will be doing hair/makeup and getting dressed in their suite the morning of the wedding. The current plan is for my BIL to leave the suite that morning, and since they don’t want to pay for an additional hotel room for the guys, he’s asked if he and his five groomsmen can hang out at our house and get ready.

My husband’s response was basically “it’s up to you.” 🙄

I’m really not comfortable with this. We don’t have a great setup for six adult men to get ready; they’d either be using our primary bedroom/bath, one of our kids’ rooms, or rotating through the guest bath. I have kids here, and we actually live in this space, and we will all be getting ready, too. It feels like a lot to host a group of guys (some I’ve never even met) for hours on a busy wedding morning.

I adore my BIL and want to be supportive, but this feels invasive and stressful. Am I being unreasonable? Would you say yes, or suggest they get another hotel room?

Not only would I say yes and make it work for a BIL that I adored, I’d also provide snacks and drinks. Because I adore him.

[Anonymous]

Of course you should agree to this, OP and help make his wedding day memorable. You're being way too uptight. But if you feel strongly enough about not doing this nice, not terribly hard thing for someone you claim to adore, then YOU buy him a hotel room where he and his groomsmen can hang out before the wedding. Sounds like the groomsmen are all local? If so, I'm guessing they all don't have to shower.

[Anonymous]

Find fun and joy. This is it. It's happening around you. Op, you could choose fun and joy, to embrace the uniqueness of the experience. It's certainly a memorable day. Not everything has to be perfect. Likely your desire " to present" a certain way, your house, yourselves --- not being inconvenienced -- it's getting in the way of actually being part of the special day, in any meaningful way.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:My husband’s younger brother is getting married here in town. My ILs live in a small one-bedroom condo in a retirement community, so they can’t host. We’re the only family locally and live in a modest-size house with kids at home.

The couple has a hotel block, and the bride and bridal party will be doing hair/makeup and getting dressed in their suite the morning of the wedding. The current plan is for my BIL to leave the suite that morning, and since they don’t want to pay for an additional hotel room for the guys, he’s asked if he and his five groomsmen can hang out at our house and get ready.

My husband’s response was basically “it’s up to you.” 🙄

I’m really not comfortable with this. We don’t have a great setup for six adult men to get ready; they’d either be using our primary bedroom/bath, one of our kids’ rooms, or rotating through the guest bath. I have kids here, and we actually live in this space, and we will all be getting ready, too. It feels like a lot to host a group of guys (some I’ve never even met) for hours on a busy wedding morning.

I adore my BIL and want to be supportive, but this feels invasive and stressful. Am I being unreasonable? Would you say yes, or suggest they get another hotel room?

Surely the Groom can rent a suite or come up with an actual plan for his groomsmen the day of the damn wedding.

What is the what man doing?

Who planned this wedding? Can he plan anything?

Dumping a bunch of of grown men at someone’s else’s house to hang out, drink, shower & get ready, get to event on time, etc is ludicrous.

Let me guess, you get to clean up after them the day after the wedding too. Maybe the groomsmen will help you.

What are they, 22 yo? Have they never been to a wedding before?

That's what he's doing. He didn't show up at OP's house last minute. He's asking ahead of time if this could be his plan.

You people mystify me. I can't imagine saying no, unless there is some other constraint OP hasn't mentioned.

[Anonymous]

You invite them with open arms, you help your HUSBAND build this core memory with his brother, you help the brother-in-law you claim to adore have an emotionally warm experience with the most important men in his life, you offer food and drinks. OP, you really seem stingy and dark hearted.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:You invite them with open arms, you help your HUSBAND build this core memory with his brother, you help the brother-in-law you claim to adore have an emotionally warm experience with the most important men in his life, you offer food and drinks. OP, you really seem stingy and dark hearted.

Stop infantilizing grown men.

[Anonymous]

There's been no response from the op about where the groomsmen are staying or if others are local so I'm calling troll.

[Anonymous]

Interesting the DH said "up to you". Doesn't sound like he's eager to do it.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:One morning for a few hours for someone you “adore”? You say yes.

Yeah, WTAF. Sad. Sad that DH has to defer to you. That tells us everything.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Interesting the DH said "up to you". Doesn't sound like he's eager to do it.

Or, she's super controlling. Which might very well be the case for this very odd post.

What's a house for if not to create memories?!?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I would be ok with the BIL but not the group of guys. I assume the guys can all shower and dress in their own rooms though. I would allow BIL to sleep over or come early in the morning to shower and do whatever he has to do, and the friends could come over later in the morning to hang out but would not get a dressing/bathroom area or be traipsing around while I'm undressed.

If that's not acceptable then they can all get ready in one of the groomsmen's hotel room.

This.

But also, why can’t they hang out and get ready in one of the five hotel rooms they will be staying in? I’m assuming at least one of the guys got in the night before, if not all of them? Why your house, with you and your children there?

They don't want the bride and groom to accidentally run into each other. I don't know why people complicate some things so much, or just completely ignore logic.

[Anonymous]

Let the guy and his groomsmen ready at your house. This is a very special occasion. He may also feel nice doing it from his brother’s home.