BIL wants to use our house to get ready for wedding — WWYD?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:What is it with all these adult siblings who can’t be generous and gracious for a few hours on a sibling’s wedding day?

It's called boundaries with siblings who are failure to launch.

How is someone getting married, who doesn’t seem to live with their parents in the one bedroom, failure to launch?

I can’t even imagine saying no to this.

[Anonymous]

It's his wedding day and he's asked to use your home to get ready? How much love and respect does he have for you? Be gracious and kind and share the love back: say yes

And if you can, have your family shower the night before. Show the love and respect, don't be a selfish, entitled a$$hole

[Anonymous]

I get it op. My spouse is like you. They believe people should be very self sufficient and not ask for anything.

I however do not think that way. If you adore your in law why wouldn't you host him and his groomsmen? I assume your husband will be one of them? Personally I would take the kids to the hotel the bride is staying in and let the guys take the house or just give them a room and bathroom they can all use and call it a day. Guys take no time to get dressed and likely will only need to change. Offer some food and beers before hand and call it a day.

[Anonymous]

I can’t even believe your hesitation. You are horrid.

[Anonymous]

Yes! It’s a few hours and his wedding day. You say no and you’ll ruin a relationship for many years.

[Anonymous]

I think you should host them and make it a little special. Order a nice breakfast, take some pictures together, etc. Make it a little memory.

But if you want to wiggle out of this, why not pay for a hotel room for him and say that you’d love to give this gift to make logistics easier for him on his big day?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:I think you should host them and make it a little special. Order a nice breakfast, take some pictures together, etc. Make it a little memory.

But if you want to wiggle out of this, why not pay for a hotel room for him and say that you’d love to give this gift to make logistics easier for him on his big day?

I am confused how OP thinks that they can’t fit in her IL’s 1 bedroom apartment. They can’t just use the 1 guest bathroom, but they would be fine in 1 hotel room.

[Anonymous]

Per the OP, this ask feels “invasive and stressful”. All I can say OP, is that you have had an easy life is this is STRESSFUL to you.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:People are socially stunted on this site. It’s baffling. Does hospitality not exist in Nova?

Unfortunately it does not. When I travel outside this area I'm amazed at how friendly and laid back people are. I can't wait to move. And I grew up here. The 80's were great but now it's so crowed, traffic gets worse every year and people are mean.

I feel like I could have written this. My friends who are new to the area are always surprised when I say this. People who live here now have zero social skills, manners, or sense of family and community. I thought it was just the way things are now but when I travel to other areas, even other cities, it’s much nicer than it is here.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:One morning for a few hours for someone you “adore”? You say yes.

this!

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:People are socially stunted on this site. It’s baffling. Does hospitality not exist in Nova?

Unfortunately it does not. When I travel outside this area I'm amazed at how friendly and laid back people are. I can't wait to move. And I grew up here. The 80's were great but now it's so crowed, traffic gets worse every year and people are mean.

Amen! Last year, we moved to New England and it is so nice and pleasant and friendly. Somewhere along the way, the DC area turned mean and really self centered.

[Anonymous]

It’s a bunch of guys. Pretty likely they won’t be showering there and they won’t be spending hours in the bathroom primping. It’s more likely they will be sitting around drinking beer. Maybe it will be a nice day out and you can send them out on your deck or patio.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:My husband’s younger brother is getting married here in town. My ILs live in a small one-bedroom condo in a retirement community, so they can’t host. We’re the only family locally and live in a modest-size house with kids at home.

The couple has a hotel block, and the bride and bridal party will be doing hair/makeup and getting dressed in their suite the morning of the wedding. The current plan is for my BIL to leave the suite that morning, and since they don’t want to pay for an additional hotel room for the guys, he’s asked if he and his five groomsmen can hang out at our house and get ready.

My husband’s response was basically “it’s up to you.” 🙄

I’m really not comfortable with this. We don’t have a great setup for six adult men to get ready; they’d either be using our primary bedroom/bath, one of our kids’ rooms, or rotating through the guest bath. I have kids here, and we actually live in this space, and we will all be getting ready, too. It feels like a lot to host a group of guys (some I’ve never even met) for hours on a busy wedding morning.

I adore my BIL and want to be supportive, but this feels invasive and stressful. Am I being unreasonable? Would you say yes, or suggest they get another hotel room?

Surely the Groom can rent a suite or come up with an actual plan for his groomsmen the day of the damn wedding.

What is the what man doing?

Who planned this wedding? Can he plan anything?

Dumping a bunch of of grown men at someone’s else’s house to hang out, drink, shower & get ready, get to event on time, etc is ludicrous.

Let me guess, you get to clean up after them the day after the wedding too. Maybe the groomsmen will help you.

What are they, 22 yo? Have they never been to a wedding before?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:What is it with all these adult siblings who can’t be generous and gracious for a few hours on a sibling’s wedding day?

It's called boundaries with siblings who are failure to launch.

That’s possible here, can’t tell.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:What is with all these cheap adult siblings refusing to get hotel rooms?

All of thissssss

For a few hours? The timing doesn’t work out if you need to check out in the morning or can’t check in until 3.

So no one had a hotel room the previous day or the night of the wedding? Get both nights. Duh.