BIL wants to use our house to get ready for wedding — WWYD?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:How big is your house? My house is not big enough for this, 2000 sq. ft. 2 bathrooms. I don't like people in my bedroom or bathroom, so, this would be a hard no for me.

From the original post, it sounds like OP has a smaller house as well. If there is no hotel room for the groomsmen to get ready, where are they all staying? Are they local? Is DH the best man? I would be inclined to allow it, but 100% put it on DH to clean, provide food, etc. Maybe you and the kids could even clear out and get a hotel room in the block to get ready.

Maybe one of the groomsmen could get a room in the block instead of expecting a family to clear out for them.

[Anonymous]

I wouldn't want to host them because they are being cheap.

[Anonymous]

would compromise. They can come over an hour before they need to be at the venue to get pictures. Myself, I would send them downstairs. All guys do to get ready is put their clothes on

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:I wouldn't want to host them because they are being cheap.

+ inconsiderate
They have small kids

[Anonymous]

Of course you say yes. It’s a couple hours one morning for a major life event.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Of course you say yes. It’s a couple hours one morning for a major life event.

We actually don't know how long it is.

We have no idea if this is an afternoon or evening wedding.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:I wouldn't want to host them because they are being cheap.

This

[Anonymous]

Will they be pre-gaming?

[Anonymous]

Can’t imagine saying ‘no’ to this but I grew up in an extended family that supported each other (and no one had a lot of $). But, I would also trust that there would be no bad behavior by groomsmen.
Honestly, sounds like a fun time.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:How big is your house? My house is not big enough for this, 2000 sq. ft. 2 bathrooms. I don't like people in my bedroom or bathroom, so, this would be a hard no for me.

From the original post, it sounds like OP has a smaller house as well. If there is no hotel room for the groomsmen to get ready, where are they all staying? Are they local? Is DH the best man? I would be inclined to allow it, but 100% put it on DH to clean, provide food, etc. Maybe you and the kids could even clear out and get a hotel room in the block to get ready.

Maybe one of the groomsmen could get a room in the block instead of expecting a family to clear out for them.

Again, do you think they actually just need to line up for the bathroom and six grown men should sit on a double bed while taking turns?

This is about having a space to hang *after* they're showered and shaved. Like a living room with a couch or something. I suppose they could hang out in their hotel lobby instead, but man, it would be cold to say that. I have a 1500 sq ft house with only 1.5 bathrooms and I wouldn't blink at this request.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:How big is your house? My house is not big enough for this, 2000 sq. ft. 2 bathrooms. I don't like people in my bedroom or bathroom, so, this would be a hard no for me.

From the original post, it sounds like OP has a smaller house as well. If there is no hotel room for the groomsmen to get ready, where are they all staying? Are they local? Is DH the best man? I would be inclined to allow it, but 100% put it on DH to clean, provide food, etc. Maybe you and the kids could even clear out and get a hotel room in the block to get ready.

Maybe one of the groomsmen could get a room in the block instead of expecting a family to clear out for them.

Again, do you think they actually just need to line up for the bathroom and six grown men should sit on a double bed while taking turns?

This is about having a space to hang *after* they're showered and shaved. Like a living room with a couch or something. I suppose they could hang out in their hotel lobby instead, but man, it would be cold to say that. I have a 1500 sq ft house with only 1.5 bathrooms and I wouldn't blink at this request.

Ok, but there will still only be one bathroom to share amongst the goomsman at the house. Where are all of these guys staying? As a bridesmaid in my friend's wedding we had two connecting rooms in the wedding hotel to spread out and get ready. It was fun. But maybe money is an issue here, so in that case sure OP could do the kind thing and host.

[Anonymous]

Rent them a day room or day at a suites hotel as your wedding gift, lol.

[Anonymous]

Let me pose this a slightly different way to OP and the crowd - OP, if this was your son on his wedding day and he wanted to get ready at your house along with his groomsmen, what would you say? I’d say YES and be thrilled that my son wanted to do so vs at a hotel, however inconvenient it would be for me. For an adored brother in law (OP’s words), I’d likewise agree to this (maybe I’d not be as thrilled haha, but unquestionably I’d agree).

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Let me pose this a slightly different way to OP and the crowd - OP, if this was your son on his wedding day and he wanted to get ready at your house along with his groomsmen, what would you say? I’d say YES and be thrilled that my son wanted to do so vs at a hotel, however inconvenient it would be for me. For an adored brother in law (OP’s words), I’d likewise agree to this (maybe I’d not be as thrilled haha, but unquestionably I’d agree).

Well the groom's parents passed on hosting. Maybe he's a difficult guest. Maybe his friends are.

If he and his friends are just hanging around on a coach as people suggest there must be a reason the parents don't want to host beside "space".

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:of course you say yes. this sounds like a blast.

A blast for the guys, definitely.

Maybe not so much for the lady that has to clean the house before and after, arrange the food, make sure it all gets put away and crumbs are wiped down before she puts her dress on, get ready and wrangle the kids (and make sure she's decent whenever she pops out of her bedroom to take care of any of these things).

It's a pain in the ass at best, and they should be very grateful if she does it.

I'm not sure it's required for OP to provide a meal, and it shouldn't require major cleaning after. Also, is her husband useless? This is one of those things you just have to suck up for family.

+1

PP is making this difficult for the sake of making this difficult. The guests/family/husband can feed themselves and clean after themselves.

I see everyone saying serve a sandwich platter, which is along the lines of what I'd do. So OP can't leave for the wedding with sandwiches left out and can't send groomsmen to the wedding with doggie bags. Someone needs to wrap everything up and find room in OPs fridge and wipe her counters so she doesn't come home to a mess. I wouldn't expect guests to do that. Maybe her husband will. I would not love all this extra stuff, with people I don't know, while I'm dressing for a wedding which is going to be more involved than my daily routine.

It can be done, she probably has to suck it up and do it, and maybe I'm too rigid, but I wouldn't find that to be a blast and I think it's a fairly big favor if she does it. She asked for opinions.

I'm so glad I don't live like this. Imagine thinking that throwing away half-eaten sandwiches and wiping down the kitchen counter is so exhausting that you can't help make your loved BIL's wedding day special.