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The amount of people living subsidized by their parents is astounding
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Anonymous
Really don't think it's the norm for non rich people... |
Anonymous
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My parents are millionaires but don't help the way other UMC parents do. My parents grew up poor and just aren't part of that culture. They have helped my siblings out with critical issues (drug rehab, divorce costs, helping to pay for housing post-divorce) but because I'm really functional, they've never given us much beyond the occasional cash gift of a few thousand near a major life event (grad school graduation, birth of a child).
I don't resent this, it's just how my family is. I worked very hard in school and do fine financially as does my husband. We are not struggling. We also are not living it up -- we budget pretty aggressively and prioritize saving over consumption to a great degree. But I do sometimes find it hard to navigate the world socially because of how different everyone's circumstance is. A lot of our friends will think nothing of spending 300-400 on a date night. I don't think we've ever done that, for instance, and I wouldn't feel comfortable doing it. We budget a lot around kids too -- when we go out with other families, often they'll just spend whatever to keep their kids occupied and happy. Whereas we might balk at throwing money at our kids and instead decide "eh, they are cranky, time to head home" or go ahead and explain that no, we aren't buying that toy because they have something similar at home or it's just junk and we don't believe in spending money on junk. I think sometimes our friends feel embarrassed for spending money more freely than we do, and we sometimes feel like an inconvenience because we just can't. It's not about jealousy or envy, or resentment. It's just that I can be hard to navigate relationships with people when you have very different resources, especially for socializing and entertainment and kid-related expenses. |
Anonymous
Millionaire isn't what it used to be. I don't think you should start giving away the farm until you have at least $5m. Old age can be expensive. |
Anonymous
About half of all parents: 47% of parents still financially support adult children, study finds. Here’s how much they spend. In fact, 58% of parents said they have sacrificed their own financial security for the sake of their adult children, a jump from 37% of parents a year earlier, Savings.com also found. https://www.cnbc.com/2024/03/11/nearly-half-of-parents-financially-support-adult-children-study-shows.html Anecdotally, the majority of families I’ve known have helped their kids and grandkids (and been generous with other loved ones) as best they could. |
Anonymous
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There's nothing wrong with helping your kids. My parents have helped me in small ways a few times in my life. They have helped my kids with college savings and I'm grateful for it.
I, in turn, intend to help both my kids and my grandkids. It's called generational wealth. Not having it is not a flex, nor is with-holding from future generations. |
Anonymous
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The whole concept of being subsidized by your parents is distasteful for a lot of people because it's at odds with the American notion (that we're hearing even more of these days) of meritocracy and hard work being the hallmarks of success. The reality is that so many people are already born on third base because of family money and/or don't have to work hard because their lifestyle is being subsidized by their parents.
It also contracts the idea that children should take care of their parents as they get older. It's a bit old-fashioned and varies by culture, but many people are raised with the expectation of having to take care of their own parents someday. When the roles are reversed, it doesn't seem right. I also wonder how much generational differences come into play when it comes to acceptance (or not) of parent subsidies. |
Anonymous
Don't take it personally if people have a different view about subsidizing adult kids and how to handle generational wealth. Generational wealth can be a really powerful tool, no doubt. The weakest people I know are dependent on their parents, and the strongest people I know are self made and have had to deal with adversity. But it's not like there is necessarily a write or wrong answer. |
Anonymous
Maybe they depend on their parents because they are 'weak' and the self-made and adversity overcomers are already strong which is why they are where they are. |
Anonymous
"Education and hard work are the keys." Other keys -- Luck, what family you were born into, family connections, nepotism. Some kids will never struggle. |
Anonymous
Meh....$10M in assets or making $1M/yr is middle class on DCUM. Let me know when you start making real money. |
Anonymous
1/m/yr? Is that from your job or investments or both? |
Anonymous
There's lots of ways to make money. Not just from your "job" (where you pay the highest taxes by the way). There's inheritance, investments, rentals, etc. |
Anonymous
Yes it's definately easier to take risks with your career in that case. You can try a startup or do your own company, knowing you are supported. |
Anonymous
It’s normal for them to live at home well into adulthood and then live with and care for their poor parents until death. |
Anonymous
This 1000%. My partner worked their ass off for the success they have. They took risks (we grew up poor and had no family support). Have been lucky to have two sales/transactions with small companies. But in return you work long hours for lower pay (than at large company) and it took years for the payouts. As far as good people, they are ceo, have not had a pay raise in 10 years, and actually took a 30% pay cut for last two. They take care of their team and give the raises and bonuses to them instead. Also give up more options so the other employees can have more. 95% of ceos would not do that |