Are you low key about your wealth?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:The wealthiest person I estimate a net worth of 20 million. You would never know. You would guess they make 250k a year. Mid 40s. Uber wealthy people don’t flaunt it. The $1 million a year do. The multimillion a year don’t.

What a silly thing to say. I know someone with a several hundred million dollar a year net worth and they have several houses, including one for which they paid over $20M, they have a private jet, belong to several elite country clubs, drive a Bentley. They flaunt it, baby. They're very nice people. But obviously rich. And everyone knows it.

+1. We are in Silicon Valley and have friends worth both $10M+ (not uncommon) and $100M+ (uncommon). The $10M+ are low key to typical UMC lifestyle. The $100M+ are IMO flashy -- multiple $10M+ homes, often fly private, won't ski unless Aspen/Jackson Hole, private chef, frequent invitations to join them at charitable events with high buy-ins, public and high profile investments. The compensation for both groups tend to be public, whether it's levels.fyi or public filings.

[Anonymous]

I worked at a financial company doing concierge for high net-worth clients. This included paying their bills for them (and their staff etc). This was about 20 years ago and you had to have at least $5 million invested with the company for this service. I had five clients. One (about $40 million in investments) very much lived an obvious lifestyle. One (about $15 million in investments) routinely had a credit card bill that included places / amounts similar to what I would spend (ie eating at chipotle, shopping at the Gap etc). The others were somewhere in between.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I'd like to think I'm low key about it, but some times you can't hide it. E.g. I own 4 homes. I take vacations to Hawaii, Europe, the Caribbean sometimes all 3 in the same year. I don't care about the cost of anything. In direct contrast to our family that lives pay check to pay check. I'm not stupid with my money, but it's obviously different.

Why don’t you help your family out?

DP. Because it can become a bottomless pit.

My parents were the most successful of all their siblings and they worked harder than anyone I knew. They helped out my grandmother and my dad's siblings, often sacrificing our own family's financial standing. Half of the relatives they helped were grateful. The other half were never satisfied and always wanted more more more.

I see this playing out in my DH's family. They're terrible with money, live above their means, buy expensive cars and accessories while their roof is leaking. When a crisis hits they treat us and other successful members of the family as free ATMs.

Why should PP throw good money after bad?

+1. I know someone like this - they only try to align themselves with those who have more than them, and it is never enough.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:What is wealthy?

I guess for purposes of my question, I just mean, if you consider yourself wealthy, whatever that level of income/net worth is - are you open with others about it, do you keep it under wraps, do you do showy things (wear expensive clothing, live in a mansion, openly discuss the cost of things you do like travel, home projects, etc.)?

As for us, HHI a bit over $1M, NW about $4M, and I consider us wealthy but mostly low key. Never upgraded our house; still live in the same neighborhood as we did in our 20s when our HHI was 20% of what it is now. Send the kids to public. But...we have done some showy things too, like join an exclusive country club, take nice trips (and I do sometimes post photos), treat the kids' friends to expensive outings (like sporting events/concerts). So maybe we are flaunty, I don't know. The thought came up because a cousin complained to me about another one of our cousins who just planned a $40k trip to Italy. Cousin #1 thought cousin #2 was obnoxious for discussing the trip details. Cousin #1 is just as wealthy as cousin #2 so I'm thinking #2 didn't think anything of discussing price since he knew #1 could easily afford such a trip if he wanted.

I love the idea of being modest and quiet about wealth. But in practice, living large is also pretty fun. Just wondered how other people feel about it, or what they're willing to admit to. Would anyone actually confess that it's fun to appear wealthy, to be envied, to have more than most? I'd say it is part fun, but also part shameful. I'm now looking at cousin #2 like, crap, I don't want #1 or anyone else to think I'm obnoxious/braggy/flaunty.

Not only do you flaunt your wealth, your NW is incredibly low compared to your HHI.

LOL, why thank you.

It’s not a compliment

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:We rent a small apartment in an area where most houses are a few million. I have an inheritance and savings that are about 2.5-3 million. We live 100% off our salaries (about $250k-300k /year) and share one 1 12 year old car. We both work at home so don’t spend much on clothes, haircuts etc. I do spend a few thousand on travel per year. I think people are probably surprised when I drop money at a school fundraiser or that kind of thing. If people ask about my childhood I’m not coy about private schools / vacations / experiences so people who know me are aware I hade more money than it may appear.

Have you received the inheritance? It sounds like you live like you make $250K/year but grew up wealthy and like splashing that info around, maybe because you are insecure?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Suuuuper low key. Live like I'm middle class. You'd never know I'm actually slightly upper-middle-middle-class. Like I never pay extra so that I can get in the A boarding group on Southwest, even though we could technically afford it.

Lol

[Anonymous]

Low-key. Worked hard for it and not willing to fritter it away for things we don’t value, such as flash.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:What is wealthy?

I guess for purposes of my question, I just mean, if you consider yourself wealthy, whatever that level of income/net worth is - are you open with others about it, do you keep it under wraps, do you do showy things (wear expensive clothing, live in a mansion, openly discuss the cost of things you do like travel, home projects, etc.)?

As for us, HHI a bit over $1M, NW about $4M, and I consider us wealthy but mostly low key. Never upgraded our house; still live in the same neighborhood as we did in our 20s when our HHI was 20% of what it is now. Send the kids to public. But...we have done some showy things too, like join an exclusive country club, take nice trips (and I do sometimes post photos), treat the kids' friends to expensive outings (like sporting events/concerts). So maybe we are flaunty, I don't know. The thought came up because a cousin complained to me about another one of our cousins who just planned a $40k trip to Italy. Cousin #1 thought cousin #2 was obnoxious for discussing the trip details. Cousin #1 is just as wealthy as cousin #2 so I'm thinking #2 didn't think anything of discussing price since he knew #1 could easily afford such a trip if he wanted.

I love the idea of being modest and quiet about wealth. But in practice, living large is also pretty fun. Just wondered how other people feel about it, or what they're willing to admit to. Would anyone actually confess that it's fun to appear wealthy, to be envied, to have more than most? I'd say it is part fun, but also part shameful. I'm now looking at cousin #2 like, crap, I don't want #1 or anyone else to think I'm obnoxious/braggy/flaunty.

To me this isn't wealthy.

What is wealthy to you?

It’s not wealthy. If your HHI is $1M, and your NW is $4M, didn’t upgrade house, kids in public, you are doing something wrong or need a better financial advisor. Your NW should be much higher or you are lying or a troll. You are losing money and don’t even knkw it. Go find it!

[Anonymous]

Thankfully no wealth to hide or flaunt.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:We rent a small apartment in an area where most houses are a few million. I have an inheritance and savings that are about 2.5-3 million. We live 100% off our salaries (about $250k-300k /year) and share one 1 12 year old car. We both work at home so don’t spend much on clothes, haircuts etc. I do spend a few thousand on travel per year. I think people are probably surprised when I drop money at a school fundraiser or that kind of thing. If people ask about my childhood I’m not coy about private schools / vacations / experiences so people who know me are aware I hade more money than it may appear.

Have you received the inheritance? It sounds like you live like you make $250K/year but grew up wealthy and like splashing that info around, maybe because you are insecure?

Received money after my grandfather died 40 years ago that has grown and that, combined with savings, is what I was referring to (ie that is mine but we don’t use it for expenses). I suspect I’ll inherit some day from my parents but I was only referring to what is actually mine.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:The wealthiest people I know don’t flaunt their wealth in obvious, ostentatious ways.

Thinking of a close family member who eschews a country club membership (or really any kind of memberships - not even Costco!) and instead vacation at their second home. They take fabulous vacations as a family and spare no expense. They are paying for nephews and nieces college educations.

They are very private and aren’t the type to attend society functions, fundraisers, gala events; they just write huge anonymous checks. Second generation trust funders.

I guess its not "huge anonymous checks" if you know about it....

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:What is wealthy?

Just to be clear, NW<$10M isn’t wealthy.

This.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:I worked at a financial company doing concierge for high net-worth clients. This included paying their bills for them (and their staff etc). This was about 20 years ago and you had to have at least $5 million invested with the company for this service. I had five clients. One (about $40 million in investments) very much lived an obvious lifestyle. One (about $15 million in investments) routinely had a credit card bill that included places / amounts similar to what I would spend (ie eating at chipotle, shopping at the Gap etc). The others were somewhere in between.

Was this service free?

[Anonymous]

We are at ~$7M NW in our early 50s. We feel secure and have no worries about money but we prefer to be flashy by giving large charitable donations because we love how that makes us feel. Just gave $2,000 to a local organization this past week and the director reached out personally to share her excitement. Great way to spend money when you have everything you need already.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:The wealthiest people I know don’t flaunt their wealth in obvious, ostentatious ways.

Thinking of a close family member who eschews a country club membership (or really any kind of memberships - not even Costco!) and instead vacation at their second home. They take fabulous vacations as a family and spare no expense. They are paying for nephews and nieces college educations.

They are very private and aren’t the type to attend society functions, fundraisers, gala events; they just write huge anonymous checks. Second generation trust funders.

This sounds like one person.