Are you low key about your wealth?

[Anonymous]

If you're wealthy, do you consider yourself low key about it, or are you showy, or somewhere in between? Do you like to be private about your wealth, or do you enjoy flaunting it bit?

[Anonymous]

I don’t think anybody “flaunts” it, people just buy/do expensive things. For themselves or their rich friends to whom it’s a hobby, not a flaunt.

[Anonymous]

Yes, very much so.
This is how we keep our wealth.

Want vs need

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:I don’t think anybody “flaunts” it, people just buy/do expensive things. For themselves or their rich friends to whom it’s a hobby, not a flaunt.

Oh, people definitely flaunt it.

Take your family on a luxurious trip to Europe: just living the high life.
Post photos of said trip on social media: flaunting it.

[Anonymous]

What is wealthy?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:What is wealthy?

Haha I had the same question.

[Anonymous]

We hide it well.

First clue for our circle was when we sent our oldest to an expensive university. We don't post anything on social media, live in a small house, drive old cars. I suppose everyone else thinks we're on financial aid or that we took out loans.

[Anonymous]

I do consider myself low-key in that I wear inexpensive clothes and keep them a long time, we have one car and it's older, and I don't do any cosmetic treatments or wear fancy jewelry. This year we renovated part of our house and that's going to show that we had some money. We also extended my spouse's business trip to Orlando into a Disney vacation. So we are obviously not poor, but I don't think people realize that we have as much as we do in retirement accounts or what we give to charity. I also own a condo that I rent out, but that never comes up in conversation. In terms of privacy/flaunting, I tend to try and match with whoever I am talking to. Like if someone says they went to Disney World, I will talk about my trip there. If instead I am talking to someone who is struggling to pay rent, I will talk about TV shows or a recipe I cooked or something else where we can relate.

[Anonymous]

We have two nice homes which we can’t hide but I drive a Subaru SUV and my husband a nice used car. We have an active but low key social life so we avoid the charity circuit though we donate a lot to charity. We don’t hide that we are wealthy but I’m sure people would be surprised by how much we have. We spend very little on clothes and jewelry but we do travel well. My husband was a very successful CEO but he was always very low key about it.

[Anonymous]

Somewhere in the middle.

We don't have an expensive house (our annual HHI is 80% of our house value), drive model y and an 8 year old Mercedes. We do take expensive vacations to Europe and Asia, and while I don't post on social media, I do share pictures with friends and family on whatsapp. Splurge every 3-4 years ( 3K-5K luxury handbag, or 1.5ctw diamond studs, tennis necklace, upgrade to business class once a while). Still save about $300K per year after all spending and mortgage payments. Believe that there is no reason to completely live like we were still earning $200K.. might as well enjoy some of the money.

[Anonymous]

I would consider us to be wealthy (early 40s, about $10M net worth) and we're probably somewhere in the middle. I think you have to define "flaunt".

We present as UMC for sure - fit, nice clothes and accessories, nice skin/hair/teeth, hobbies like golf and tennis. We go on very nice vacations and often stay in really nice accommodations. But we're not ones to post social media photos of ourselves in first class or staying at the Four Seasons. So in that way, no I don't think we're flashy. Plus, we know people worth triple-digit-million dollars and fly private, so we're well aware of broader context.

But we do drive nice luxury cars and I have nice jewelry and bags. So I'm sure some people would see me getting out of my (white) luxury SUV, wearing a Moncler jacket, and wearing a Love bracelet and think I'm the height of flash.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Yes, very much so.
This is how we keep our wealth.

Want vs need

+1 My DH’s is all inherited. Nobody knows except me and his family.

[Anonymous]

We have a big house, take nice (but not over the top) vacations, and don't hesitate to pay for things that make our busy lives easier, but our cars aren't anything special and we're not flashy with clothes/jewelry/accessories. So I'd like to think we're low key about it, but it's not a secret either.

[Anonymous]

I have horses which is perfect because they are really expensive (flash) but I’m often filthy (anti-flash). Plus, you can spend down any size fortune on horses if you try.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:What is wealthy?

I guess for purposes of my question, I just mean, if you consider yourself wealthy, whatever that level of income/net worth is - are you open with others about it, do you keep it under wraps, do you do showy things (wear expensive clothing, live in a mansion, openly discuss the cost of things you do like travel, home projects, etc.)?

As for us, HHI a bit over $1M, NW about $4M, and I consider us wealthy but mostly low key. Never upgraded our house; still live in the same neighborhood as we did in our 20s when our HHI was 20% of what it is now. Send the kids to public. But...we have done some showy things too, like join an exclusive country club, take nice trips (and I do sometimes post photos), treat the kids' friends to expensive outings (like sporting events/concerts). So maybe we are flaunty, I don't know. The thought came up because a cousin complained to me about another one of our cousins who just planned a $40k trip to Italy. Cousin #1 thought cousin #2 was obnoxious for discussing the trip details. Cousin #1 is just as wealthy as cousin #2 so I'm thinking #2 didn't think anything of discussing price since he knew #1 could easily afford such a trip if he wanted.

I love the idea of being modest and quiet about wealth. But in practice, living large is also pretty fun. Just wondered how other people feel about it, or what they're willing to admit to. Would anyone actually confess that it's fun to appear wealthy, to be envied, to have more than most? I'd say it is part fun, but also part shameful. I'm now looking at cousin #2 like, crap, I don't want #1 or anyone else to think I'm obnoxious/braggy/flaunty.