Are you low key about your wealth?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:It is interesting how so far everyone seems to feel it's a virtue to live quietly versus flashily. Seems that many people stated pridefully some version of "most people would have no idea how rich we are."

Why is that, I wonder? Because everybody WANTS to be rich, right? So when you get there, why do you then want to appear as though you're not?

Or maybe...you just want people to admire that you are rich, but also modest and loveable at the same time. Worthy of envy, but not hatred.

Not snarking, I'm just as guilty. Just interested in what people think about it.

Our family and friends circle is distinctly middle class/upper middle class. We do not want to flaunt anything, or make anyone uncomfortable. We very much value our friendships with people that knew us when we had a whole 10K in a CD.

I also think it's a function of how you're used to living. Since we started with nothing, we're used to living on very little. We aren't, but we also don't care about country clubs or buying whatever the latest fashion is, or fancy cars. When I think back to then versus now, the biggest difference is that I don't worry about balancing the checkbook, making sure that we have what we need in an account, because we *always* do, and then some. If we see something we like, we buy it. We definitely do things that make our lives easier, like outsourcing landscaping and house cleaning. If we take trips abroad, we travel business, not economy. We don't stay at the most expensive hotels, but we also don't stay at the Holiday Inn. We are fairly strict with DD because we don't want her taking our resources for granted, but we also don't make her wait until Christmas or birthday if she say needs a new computer. I feel like things have changed a bit, but not substantially.

[Anonymous]

People who are wealthy but don’t visibly spend money are usually boring unless they happen to be deeply passionate about inexpensive things.

I’ll excuse:
Workaholics
Writers
Visual artists with cheap media
The intensely crunchy and/or religious
Probably other categories I’ve overlooked

Otherwise, people, you can’t take it with you. Finance a movie. Get a sailboat. Build a garden.

[Anonymous]

Pretty low key. I hide it all in drugs and gambling losses.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:It is interesting how so far everyone seems to feel it's a virtue to live quietly versus flashily. Seems that many people stated pridefully some version of "most people would have no idea how rich we are."

Why is that, I wonder? Because everybody WANTS to be rich, right? So when you get there, why do you then want to appear as though you're not?

Or maybe...you just want people to admire that you are rich, but also modest and loveable at the same time. Worthy of envy, but not hatred.

Not snarking, I'm just as guilty. Just interested in what people think about it.

I don't want to flaunt in certain ways because I don't want to get robbed. Nobody is going to mug me for my Land's End jacket, shoes I got at DSW, and $200 Motorola phone. And then I don't want to flaunt in other ways because it puts up a barrier with people I care about. They can relate to my brother getting married or my niece saying something cute. They can't relate to the wedding being in Hawaii or my niece having a nanny. So I don't get into those details. And in general I just don't like to talk about money. It's really random who has it and who doesn't. I inherited some and will likely get more, and I married someone who has similar advantages. I don't work any harder than a lot of people I know who make a lot less and some things that happen to people that affect their finances (health issues, marriage and divorce, having kids and how many) are not fully in their control. So I would rather talk about other stuff.

[Anonymous]

Very. There is no end to this money. Bitcoin is pumping again.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Pretty low key. I hide it all in drugs and gambling losses.

Smart! Enjoy it the most, while remaining "low key"

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:It is interesting how so far everyone seems to feel it's a virtue to live quietly versus flashily. Seems that many people stated pridefully some version of "most people would have no idea how rich we are."

Why is that, I wonder? Because everybody WANTS to be rich, right? So when you get there, why do you then want to appear as though you're not?

Or maybe...you just want people to admire that you are rich, but also modest and loveable at the same time. Worthy of envy, but not hatred.

Not snarking, I'm just as guilty. Just interested in what people think about it.

I think it’s interesting that the people on this thread think anyone else even thinks or cares about them. When they’re thinking about a wealthy person, most people think of Jeff Bezos or the Kardashians, not your sad 10 or 20M net worth self.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:People who are wealthy but don’t visibly spend money are usually boring unless they happen to be deeply passionate about inexpensive things.

I’ll excuse:
Workaholics
Writers
Visual artists with cheap media
The intensely crunchy and/or religious
Probably other categories I’ve overlooked

Otherwise, people, you can’t take it with you. Finance a movie. Get a sailboat. Build a garden.

My husband sends money back to his native country, and has financed the university studies of young relatives he's never even met.
How's that for not taking it with you?

I cannot respect you, since you have not included helping others in your list.

Boring is good.

[Anonymous]

We live beneath our means but our name gives us away.

[Anonymous]

DH and I live well below our means. I can't imagine what would happen if people knew. Maybe our families would call us then, try to use us some more. I don't know but some charity is going to get it all.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:It is interesting how so far everyone seems to feel it's a virtue to live quietly versus flashily. Seems that many people stated pridefully some version of "most people would have no idea how rich we are."

Why is that, I wonder? Because everybody WANTS to be rich, right? So when you get there, why do you then want to appear as though you're not?

Or maybe...you just want people to admire that you are rich, but also modest and loveable at the same time. Worthy of envy, but not hatred.

Not snarking, I'm just as guilty. Just interested in what people think about it.

I think it’s interesting that the people on this thread think anyone else even thinks or cares about them. When they’re thinking about a wealthy person, most people think of Jeff Bezos or the Kardashians, not your sad 10 or 20M net worth self.

You're missing the point entirely. People worry about the casual, daily judgments of their close relatives, friends and neighbors. And with reason, since we all depend on our respective communities for affirmation, companionship and mutual support. This is why "wealth" is relative in this discussion: you're comparing your visible signs of wealth to your circle's visible signs of wealth and making an effort to fit in. It's good social graces, and that's why it counts as a form of courtesy, or the virtue that PPs talked about.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:We live beneath our means but our name gives us away.

Not really. You have plenty of homonyms without wealth and poorer relatives, I imagine.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:It is interesting how so far everyone seems to feel it's a virtue to live quietly versus flashily. Seems that many people stated pridefully some version of "most people would have no idea how rich we are."

Why is that, I wonder? Because everybody WANTS to be rich, right? So when you get there, why do you then want to appear as though you're not?

Or maybe...you just want people to admire that you are rich, but also modest and loveable at the same time. Worthy of envy, but not hatred.

Not snarking, I'm just as guilty. Just interested in what people think about it.

I think it’s interesting that the people on this thread think anyone else even thinks or cares about them. When they’re thinking about a wealthy person, most people think of Jeff Bezos or the Kardashians, not your sad 10 or 20M net worth self.

I could daydream about 20m.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:It is interesting how so far everyone seems to feel it's a virtue to live quietly versus flashily. Seems that many people stated pridefully some version of "most people would have no idea how rich we are."

Why is that, I wonder? Because everybody WANTS to be rich, right? So when you get there, why do you then want to appear as though you're not?

Or maybe...you just want people to admire that you are rich, but also modest and loveable at the same time. Worthy of envy, but not hatred.

Not snarking, I'm just as guilty. Just interested in what people think about it.

I think it’s interesting that the people on this thread think anyone else even thinks or cares about them. When they’re thinking about a wealthy person, most people think of Jeff Bezos or the Kardashians, not your sad 10 or 20M net worth self.

I know you think that was a devastating flex, but I'm rolling my eyes. In our own little worlds, which is all anyone really cares about, there are very few in the realm of Bezos or Kardashian. People care and think most about the people in their own circles.

[Anonymous]

My net worth is $6M and I wouldn't consider myself wealthy until $20M.