What are the chances that RJ would be done well? Not very good. A 12 year old girl deserves better, not to have a very likely crappy attempt at RJ that would leave her feeling like the kid who groped her is more important. Stop pushing it, please. - someone who was groped. |
Can you link to examples of where it was done right and did harm? I'm very interested because I've truly not heard examples of that. Sadly, lots of examples of it being done badly or not even really being done, just named "Restorative Justice" but nothing about it was the real model, and definitely it didn't solve any problems. |
Good news: NO ONE in this entire conversation is pushing for Restorative Justice in OP's situation. I'm one of the people talking about it and my first post said zero about RJ and suggested she do exactly what OP did do: Go in person to the school and talk to the teacher and/or the Principal. NOTHING about RJ, because as has been said a zillion times in this convo, it's so rare that it's done with fidelity, it's not something to ever suggest unless you know those who will conduct it know what they're doing. So let's call the RJ conversation in her done, because it has only turned into a side conversation because someone labeled it "only an excuse offenders use to escape accountability" (those weren't the words but that was the meaning) and apparently at least 2 posters here are just pointing out it's very valuable when done well, but rarely done well over a long period of time and too many people slap the label on and don't do it. But, for you and everyone else concerned, NO ONE IS SUGGESTING IT / "PUSHING IT" FOR OP. |
Good! Start your own post about the benefits of RJ, since apparently it was never meant to apply to op's daughter's situation. Kind of odd to bring it up in this post if it was never meant as a possible solution. |
I didn't bring it up. It came up when someone else said maybe that's what the offender will try for to get away with it, someone else said it was awful, and me and someone else responded to those comments. As happens endlessly on DCUM. That's how it started, and I'm good with ending it. Just don't say yet another thing about me starting it or pushing it for OP so I don't have anything to correct, and we're done. |
Yup. YouTube, IG, and FB all have reels. And most kids create their own account and delete it nightly or use it on a friends phone. Forbidden fruit is so tempting |
Teacher here. This has to go to law enforcement. The grouper needs to know this won’t be tolerated, and the girl needs to know that sexual assault is always reported to law enforcement. |
Yup, which is why MSers doesnt have any of those things. I'm not pretending that they haven't seen lots of crap that I don't want them to (I mean, you only need one friend in the group where the parent don't care about controls for everyone in the group to see everything when they are hanging out together), but that doesn't mean I won't make every effort to keep it off their phones or make it as difficult as possible |
Disagree. That kid needs a knock on the door from a police officer. |
+100 It's shocking that people are more worried about this boy. And sounds like he was doing this to another girl as well? I would be tempted to unleash DD's older (varsity wrestler) brother on this kid and deal with those consequences. |
Look, I don’t care about the boy. But what is going to be the result of involving the police? Nothing will come of it. He isn’t going to be charged with anything, especially if under 13 |
He may actually, finally, have the fear of God put into him. I would bet this kid isn't afraid of his Dad, or the principal, or any adults in life. I bet this kid think he can do WHATEVER he wants. And he needs a moment in his life where he feels like he's gonna crap his pants out of fear. And that will happen if he has to sit down with LEO |
Law enforcement? You mean, like, police??!? NO! Police should be defunded. Police should never be in schools. #BlackLivesMatter |
This is a joke right? |
Of course it is. Can't you recognize the troll? |