I HATE the suburbs and have a chance to leave. This is long..more experienced parents help?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I understand how you're feeling OP, I kind of feel the same way (moved from DC to a small town in NE) but I have to say my god I cannot imagine downsizing to that level with those age kids. Like 1400 sq ft is SMALL for that situation. It concerns me that you listed that in neutral, like you may not fully be thinking through what that means.

But I agree with others that you clearly should do SOMETHING if you're this unhappy. I will say I have gotten really involved in my community and that has helped. But I'm not going to try to convince you suburbs are better than the city, I can't wait to move back one day! I will say though echoing another poster, I really do feel like the childhood I'm giving my kids is much better for them, and that helps me be a bit more at peace with the whole thing.

Yup.

My oldest DD had just turned 9 when we moved to the burbs (it's now been 1.5 years). She doesn't miss restaurants, pastries, museums, plays, or walking places in the slightest (although we have seen some productions at suburban theatre that have been wonderful). Because she's 10 What does she love/care about ? Riding her bike and roller blading with her new neighborhood friends in our safe (no busy streets) neighborhood, the amazing ice skating program we found for her at a rink that is an easy-peasy 7 minute drive away, her rec soccer team, her own room free of her little sister, the pool we belong to in the summer and swim team, her new school friends. She looooooooves her school where the class sizes are a full 1/3 smaller than at her city school and where her teachers are for the first time able to give her some individualized attention.

I miss a lot about MY city life, and making new friends has been slow (although things have starting sticking/clicking in the last 4 months), but seeing her happy and thriving does do a lot to fill up my cup.

You said your 5 yr old is in kinder, right? That's a great age for getting involved in the schools.

There are TONS OF HAPPY FAMILIES living in less than 1400sf! I am one of them! It's great that your 9 year old adjusted well to suburban living. That's not even the question here -- the question is will the kids be upset by the move to the city. I haven't heard anyone say a move to the city was bad for their kids. Are you suggesting yours would not have been happy staying in the city? Great that your cup is filled seeing her happy, but you think that wouldn't have happened if you had stayed?

There are of course tradeoffs. In both directions.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I understand how you're feeling OP, I kind of feel the same way (moved from DC to a small town in NE) but I have to say my god I cannot imagine downsizing to that level with those age kids. Like 1400 sq ft is SMALL for that situation. It concerns me that you listed that in neutral, like you may not fully be thinking through what that means.

But I agree with others that you clearly should do SOMETHING if you're this unhappy. I will say I have gotten really involved in my community and that has helped. But I'm not going to try to convince you suburbs are better than the city, I can't wait to move back one day! I will say though echoing another poster, I really do feel like the childhood I'm giving my kids is much better for them, and that helps me be a bit more at peace with the whole thing.

Yup.

My oldest DD had just turned 9 when we moved to the burbs (it's now been 1.5 years). She doesn't miss restaurants, pastries, museums, plays, or walking places in the slightest (although we have seen some productions at suburban theatre that have been wonderful). Because she's 10 What does she love/care about ? Riding her bike and roller blading with her new neighborhood friends in our safe (no busy streets) neighborhood, the amazing ice skating program we found for her at a rink that is an easy-peasy 7 minute drive away, her rec soccer team, her own room free of her little sister, the pool we belong to in the summer and swim team, her new school friends. She looooooooves her school where the class sizes are a full 1/3 smaller than at her city school and where her teachers are for the first time able to give her some individualized attention.

I miss a lot about MY city life, and making new friends has been slow (although things have starting sticking/clicking in the last 4 months), but seeing her happy and thriving does do a lot to fill up my cup.

You said your 5 yr old is in kinder, right? That's a great age for getting involved in the schools.

There are TONS OF HAPPY FAMILIES living in less than 1400sf! I am one of them! It's great that your 9 year old adjusted well to suburban living. That's not even the question here -- the question is will the kids be upset by the move to the city. I haven't heard anyone say a move to the city was bad for their kids. Are you suggesting yours would not have been happy staying in the city? Great that your cup is filled seeing her happy, but you think that wouldn't have happened if you had stayed?

There are of course tradeoffs. In both directions.

I'm not the PP who commented on the house size (I personally don't think that's such a big deal, our suburban house is pretty small). My point was that all the things OP (and many others) are mentioning that THEY -- the adults -- love about the city aren't really things kids care about; they're not what make kids happy or thrive. I do, like many, many, many other people, think that a suburban lifestyle is better for my child than a city one would have been. I don't think she would have been miserable, but, yes, I do think this is much better for her. Is that particularly controversial? Don't most people move to the burbs for their kids?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I understand how you're feeling OP, I kind of feel the same way (moved from DC to a small town in NE) but I have to say my god I cannot imagine downsizing to that level with those age kids. Like 1400 sq ft is SMALL for that situation. It concerns me that you listed that in neutral, like you may not fully be thinking through what that means.

But I agree with others that you clearly should do SOMETHING if you're this unhappy. I will say I have gotten really involved in my community and that has helped. But I'm not going to try to convince you suburbs are better than the city, I can't wait to move back one day! I will say though echoing another poster, I really do feel like the childhood I'm giving my kids is much better for them, and that helps me be a bit more at peace with the whole thing.

Yup.

My oldest DD had just turned 9 when we moved to the burbs (it's now been 1.5 years). She doesn't miss restaurants, pastries, museums, plays, or walking places in the slightest (although we have seen some productions at suburban theatre that have been wonderful). Because she's 10 What does she love/care about ? Riding her bike and roller blading with her new neighborhood friends in our safe (no busy streets) neighborhood, the amazing ice skating program we found for her at a rink that is an easy-peasy 7 minute drive away, her rec soccer team, her own room free of her little sister, the pool we belong to in the summer and swim team, her new school friends. She looooooooves her school where the class sizes are a full 1/3 smaller than at her city school and where her teachers are for the first time able to give her some individualized attention.

I miss a lot about MY city life, and making new friends has been slow (although things have starting sticking/clicking in the last 4 months), but seeing her happy and thriving does do a lot to fill up my cup.

You said your 5 yr old is in kinder, right? That's a great age for getting involved in the schools.

There are TONS OF HAPPY FAMILIES living in less than 1400sf! I am one of them! It's great that your 9 year old adjusted well to suburban living. That's not even the question here -- the question is will the kids be upset by the move to the city. I haven't heard anyone say a move to the city was bad for their kids. Are you suggesting yours would not have been happy staying in the city? Great that your cup is filled seeing her happy, but you think that wouldn't have happened if you had stayed?

There are of course tradeoffs. In both directions.

I'm not the PP who commented on the house size (I personally don't think that's such a big deal, our suburban house is pretty small). My point was that all the things OP (and many others) are mentioning that THEY -- the adults -- love about the city aren't really things kids care about; they're not what make kids happy or thrive. I do, like many, many, many other people, think that a suburban lifestyle is better for my child than a city one would have been. I don't think she would have been miserable, but, yes, I do think this is much better for her. Is that particularly controversial? Don't most people move to the burbs for their kids?

I think this is very age dependent though. Suburban kids get more freedom earlier, but city teenagers get much more than suburban kids. Particularly in the car dependent suburbs that OP lives in. There's no right or wrong answer here, and both choices come with trade offs, but a 9 year old is in that perfect sweet spot for running around the neighborhood with whatever kids live nearby.

[Anonymous]

Sidenote: I can't believe how many Chicago and Chicago burbs moms there are on here (or moms and dads). I dropped NPN for DCUM after my Rockville-living SIL told me about it. Free and not the same people posting all the time.

Carry on.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I understand how you're feeling OP, I kind of feel the same way (moved from DC to a small town in NE) but I have to say my god I cannot imagine downsizing to that level with those age kids. Like 1400 sq ft is SMALL for that situation. It concerns me that you listed that in neutral, like you may not fully be thinking through what that means.

But I agree with others that you clearly should do SOMETHING if you're this unhappy. I will say I have gotten really involved in my community and that has helped. But I'm not going to try to convince you suburbs are better than the city, I can't wait to move back one day! I will say though echoing another poster, I really do feel like the childhood I'm giving my kids is much better for them, and that helps me be a bit more at peace with the whole thing.

Yup.

My oldest DD had just turned 9 when we moved to the burbs (it's now been 1.5 years). She doesn't miss restaurants, pastries, museums, plays, or walking places in the slightest (although we have seen some productions at suburban theatre that have been wonderful). Because she's 10 What does she love/care about ? Riding her bike and roller blading with her new neighborhood friends in our safe (no busy streets) neighborhood, the amazing ice skating program we found for her at a rink that is an easy-peasy 7 minute drive away, her rec soccer team, her own room free of her little sister, the pool we belong to in the summer and swim team, her new school friends. She looooooooves her school where the class sizes are a full 1/3 smaller than at her city school and where her teachers are for the first time able to give her some individualized attention.

I miss a lot about MY city life, and making new friends has been slow (although things have starting sticking/clicking in the last 4 months), but seeing her happy and thriving does do a lot to fill up my cup.

You said your 5 yr old is in kinder, right? That's a great age for getting involved in the schools.

There are TONS OF HAPPY FAMILIES living in less than 1400sf! I am one of them! It's great that your 9 year old adjusted well to suburban living. That's not even the question here -- the question is will the kids be upset by the move to the city. I haven't heard anyone say a move to the city was bad for their kids. Are you suggesting yours would not have been happy staying in the city? Great that your cup is filled seeing her happy, but you think that wouldn't have happened if you had stayed?

There are of course tradeoffs. In both directions.

I'm not the PP who commented on the house size (I personally don't think that's such a big deal, our suburban house is pretty small). My point was that all the things OP (and many others) are mentioning that THEY -- the adults -- love about the city aren't really things kids care about; they're not what make kids happy or thrive. I do, like many, many, many other people, think that a suburban lifestyle is better for my child than a city one would have been. I don't think she would have been miserable, but, yes, I do think this is much better for her. Is that particularly controversial? Don't most people move to the burbs for their kids?

I think this is very age dependent though. Suburban kids get more freedom earlier, but city teenagers get much more than suburban kids. Particularly in the car dependent suburbs that OP lives in. There's no right or wrong answer here, and both choices come with trade offs, but a 9 year old is in that perfect sweet spot for running around the neighborhood with whatever kids live nearby.

DP - also, different kids thrive in different settings and MOST kids can find positive things across settings, particularly if their families take advantage of the benefits of a given setting.

I can't even at the thought that "most people" move to the suburbs for their kids. Yes, most people *with means* look for the best possible setting in which to raise their kids, suburbs or otherwise. Thinking that most people have that option is not accurate.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I understand how you're feeling OP, I kind of feel the same way (moved from DC to a small town in NE) but I have to say my god I cannot imagine downsizing to that level with those age kids. Like 1400 sq ft is SMALL for that situation. It concerns me that you listed that in neutral, like you may not fully be thinking through what that means.

But I agree with others that you clearly should do SOMETHING if you're this unhappy. I will say I have gotten really involved in my community and that has helped. But I'm not going to try to convince you suburbs are better than the city, I can't wait to move back one day! I will say though echoing another poster, I really do feel like the childhood I'm giving my kids is much better for them, and that helps me be a bit more at peace with the whole thing.

Yup.

My oldest DD had just turned 9 when we moved to the burbs (it's now been 1.5 years). She doesn't miss restaurants, pastries, museums, plays, or walking places in the slightest (although we have seen some productions at suburban theatre that have been wonderful). Because she's 10 What does she love/care about ? Riding her bike and roller blading with her new neighborhood friends in our safe (no busy streets) neighborhood, the amazing ice skating program we found for her at a rink that is an easy-peasy 7 minute drive away, her rec soccer team, her own room free of her little sister, the pool we belong to in the summer and swim team, her new school friends. She looooooooves her school where the class sizes are a full 1/3 smaller than at her city school and where her teachers are for the first time able to give her some individualized attention.

I miss a lot about MY city life, and making new friends has been slow (although things have starting sticking/clicking in the last 4 months), but seeing her happy and thriving does do a lot to fill up my cup.

You said your 5 yr old is in kinder, right? That's a great age for getting involved in the schools.

There are TONS OF HAPPY FAMILIES living in less than 1400sf! I am one of them! It's great that your 9 year old adjusted well to suburban living. That's not even the question here -- the question is will the kids be upset by the move to the city. I haven't heard anyone say a move to the city was bad for their kids. Are you suggesting yours would not have been happy staying in the city? Great that your cup is filled seeing her happy, but you think that wouldn't have happened if you had stayed?

There are of course tradeoffs. In both directions.

I'm not the PP who commented on the house size (I personally don't think that's such a big deal, our suburban house is pretty small). My point was that all the things OP (and many others) are mentioning that THEY -- the adults -- love about the city aren't really things kids care about; they're not what make kids happy or thrive. I do, like many, many, many other people, think that a suburban lifestyle is better for my child than a city one would have been. I don't think she would have been miserable, but, yes, I do think this is much better for her. Is that particularly controversial? Don't most people move to the burbs for their kids?

I think this is very age dependent though. Suburban kids get more freedom earlier, but city teenagers get much more than suburban kids. Particularly in the car dependent suburbs that OP lives in. There's no right or wrong answer here, and both choices come with trade offs, but a 9 year old is in that perfect sweet spot for running around the neighborhood with whatever kids live nearby.

DP - also, different kids thrive in different settings and MOST kids can find positive things across settings, particularly if their families take advantage of the benefits of a given setting.

I can't even at the thought that "most people" move to the suburbs for their kids. Yes, most people *with means* look for the best possible setting in which to raise their kids, suburbs or otherwise. Thinking that most people have that option is not accurate.

I meant that OF THOSE people who move to the suburbs, a lot OF THEM did it for their kids. That PP seemed horrified (offended?) that I chose to move to the suburbs because I thought my kid would be happier there. Plenty of people feel the same. (And plenty don't. And others have no choice where they live. I get it.)

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I understand how you're feeling OP, I kind of feel the same way (moved from DC to a small town in NE) but I have to say my god I cannot imagine downsizing to that level with those age kids. Like 1400 sq ft is SMALL for that situation. It concerns me that you listed that in neutral, like you may not fully be thinking through what that means.

But I agree with others that you clearly should do SOMETHING if you're this unhappy. I will say I have gotten really involved in my community and that has helped. But I'm not going to try to convince you suburbs are better than the city, I can't wait to move back one day! I will say though echoing another poster, I really do feel like the childhood I'm giving my kids is much better for them, and that helps me be a bit more at peace with the whole thing.

Yup.

My oldest DD had just turned 9 when we moved to the burbs (it's now been 1.5 years). She doesn't miss restaurants, pastries, museums, plays, or walking places in the slightest (although we have seen some productions at suburban theatre that have been wonderful). Because she's 10 What does she love/care about ? Riding her bike and roller blading with her new neighborhood friends in our safe (no busy streets) neighborhood, the amazing ice skating program we found for her at a rink that is an easy-peasy 7 minute drive away, her rec soccer team, her own room free of her little sister, the pool we belong to in the summer and swim team, her new school friends. She looooooooves her school where the class sizes are a full 1/3 smaller than at her city school and where her teachers are for the first time able to give her some individualized attention.

I miss a lot about MY city life, and making new friends has been slow (although things have starting sticking/clicking in the last 4 months), but seeing her happy and thriving does do a lot to fill up my cup.

You said your 5 yr old is in kinder, right? That's a great age for getting involved in the schools.

There are TONS OF HAPPY FAMILIES living in less than 1400sf! I am one of them! It's great that your 9 year old adjusted well to suburban living. That's not even the question here -- the question is will the kids be upset by the move to the city. I haven't heard anyone say a move to the city was bad for their kids. Are you suggesting yours would not have been happy staying in the city? Great that your cup is filled seeing her happy, but you think that wouldn't have happened if you had stayed?

There are of course tradeoffs. In both directions.

I'm not the PP who commented on the house size (I personally don't think that's such a big deal, our suburban house is pretty small). My point was that all the things OP (and many others) are mentioning that THEY -- the adults -- love about the city aren't really things kids care about; they're not what make kids happy or thrive. I do, like many, many, many other people, think that a suburban lifestyle is better for my child than a city one would have been. I don't think she would have been miserable, but, yes, I do think this is much better for her. Is that particularly controversial? Don't most people move to the burbs for their kids?

I think this is very age dependent though. Suburban kids get more freedom earlier, but city teenagers get much more than suburban kids. Particularly in the car dependent suburbs that OP lives in. There's no right or wrong answer here, and both choices come with trade offs, but a 9 year old is in that perfect sweet spot for running around the neighborhood with whatever kids live nearby.

DP - also, different kids thrive in different settings and MOST kids can find positive things across settings, particularly if their families take advantage of the benefits of a given setting.

I can't even at the thought that "most people" move to the suburbs for their kids. Yes, most people *with means* look for the best possible setting in which to raise their kids, suburbs or otherwise. Thinking that most people have that option is not accurate.

Well, ok then, if that's your advice, OP: try to find the positive of Mount Prospect and take advantage of them.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Sidenote: I can't believe how many Chicago and Chicago burbs moms there are on here (or moms and dads). I dropped NPN for DCUM after my Rockville-living SIL told me about it. Free and not the same people posting all the time.

Carry on.

I'm surprised too! Agree that NPN doesn't hold a candle to DCUM. I found DCUM because I travel to DC a ton for work and it popped up when I was googling for a recommendation one day like ten years ago.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I understand how you're feeling OP, I kind of feel the same way (moved from DC to a small town in NE) but I have to say my god I cannot imagine downsizing to that level with those age kids. Like 1400 sq ft is SMALL for that situation. It concerns me that you listed that in neutral, like you may not fully be thinking through what that means.

But I agree with others that you clearly should do SOMETHING if you're this unhappy. I will say I have gotten really involved in my community and that has helped. But I'm not going to try to convince you suburbs are better than the city, I can't wait to move back one day! I will say though echoing another poster, I really do feel like the childhood I'm giving my kids is much better for them, and that helps me be a bit more at peace with the whole thing.

Yup.

My oldest DD had just turned 9 when we moved to the burbs (it's now been 1.5 years). She doesn't miss restaurants, pastries, museums, plays, or walking places in the slightest (although we have seen some productions at suburban theatre that have been wonderful). Because she's 10 What does she love/care about ? Riding her bike and roller blading with her new neighborhood friends in our safe (no busy streets) neighborhood, the amazing ice skating program we found for her at a rink that is an easy-peasy 7 minute drive away, her rec soccer team, her own room free of her little sister, the pool we belong to in the summer and swim team, her new school friends. She looooooooves her school where the class sizes are a full 1/3 smaller than at her city school and where her teachers are for the first time able to give her some individualized attention.

I miss a lot about MY city life, and making new friends has been slow (although things have starting sticking/clicking in the last 4 months), but seeing her happy and thriving does do a lot to fill up my cup.

You said your 5 yr old is in kinder, right? That's a great age for getting involved in the schools.

There are TONS OF HAPPY FAMILIES living in less than 1400sf! I am one of them! It's great that your 9 year old adjusted well to suburban living. That's not even the question here -- the question is will the kids be upset by the move to the city. I haven't heard anyone say a move to the city was bad for their kids. Are you suggesting yours would not have been happy staying in the city? Great that your cup is filled seeing her happy, but you think that wouldn't have happened if you had stayed?

There are of course tradeoffs. In both directions.

I'm not the PP who commented on the house size (I personally don't think that's such a big deal, our suburban house is pretty small). My point was that all the things OP (and many others) are mentioning that THEY -- the adults -- love about the city aren't really things kids care about; they're not what make kids happy or thrive. I do, like many, many, many other people, think that a suburban lifestyle is better for my child than a city one would have been. I don't think she would have been miserable, but, yes, I do think this is much better for her. Is that particularly controversial? Don't most people move to the burbs for their kids?

People move for a lot of reasons. Some leave the city with kids because it’s too expensive. Some want a yard. Some want a change. Some leave the suburbs for the city.

The OP mentioned growing up in the city and all the nice memories she has as opposed to the isolation her family feels in the suburbs.

There was one poster here bragging about having a 12,000 sq ft house. With all we know about excessive lifestyles contributing to global warming and weather issues you hope these mausoleums would become a thing of the past.

Hopefully the younger people will be more aware and only have what they need. A city apartment where you can walk to a lot of places and you aren’t heating rooms that are never used can show children how to be aware of excess that has negative effects on the planet.

The OP has a young family and that’s the time to make a change.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I understand how you're feeling OP, I kind of feel the same way (moved from DC to a small town in NE) but I have to say my god I cannot imagine downsizing to that level with those age kids. Like 1400 sq ft is SMALL for that situation. It concerns me that you listed that in neutral, like you may not fully be thinking through what that means.

But I agree with others that you clearly should do SOMETHING if you're this unhappy. I will say I have gotten really involved in my community and that has helped. But I'm not going to try to convince you suburbs are better than the city, I can't wait to move back one day! I will say though echoing another poster, I really do feel like the childhood I'm giving my kids is much better for them, and that helps me be a bit more at peace with the whole thing.

Yup.

My oldest DD had just turned 9 when we moved to the burbs (it's now been 1.5 years). She doesn't miss restaurants, pastries, museums, plays, or walking places in the slightest (although we have seen some productions at suburban theatre that have been wonderful). Because she's 10 What does she love/care about ? Riding her bike and roller blading with her new neighborhood friends in our safe (no busy streets) neighborhood, the amazing ice skating program we found for her at a rink that is an easy-peasy 7 minute drive away, her rec soccer team, her own room free of her little sister, the pool we belong to in the summer and swim team, her new school friends. She looooooooves her school where the class sizes are a full 1/3 smaller than at her city school and where her teachers are for the first time able to give her some individualized attention.

I miss a lot about MY city life, and making new friends has been slow (although things have starting sticking/clicking in the last 4 months), but seeing her happy and thriving does do a lot to fill up my cup.

You said your 5 yr old is in kinder, right? That's a great age for getting involved in the schools.

There are TONS OF HAPPY FAMILIES living in less than 1400sf! I am one of them! It's great that your 9 year old adjusted well to suburban living. That's not even the question here -- the question is will the kids be upset by the move to the city. I haven't heard anyone say a move to the city was bad for their kids. Are you suggesting yours would not have been happy staying in the city? Great that your cup is filled seeing her happy, but you think that wouldn't have happened if you had stayed?

There are of course tradeoffs. In both directions.

Yes but it’s less than ideal. I know because I also lived in 1,400 square feet. You think it’s fine until you move in to a large suburban home with a huge kitchen, storage, a yard for kids, basement for storage, space for kids to play away from the adults and you can finally breathe. To voluntarily move back into that square footage is kind of foolish.

[Anonymous]

This is lame

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I understand how you're feeling OP, I kind of feel the same way (moved from DC to a small town in NE) but I have to say my god I cannot imagine downsizing to that level with those age kids. Like 1400 sq ft is SMALL for that situation. It concerns me that you listed that in neutral, like you may not fully be thinking through what that means.

But I agree with others that you clearly should do SOMETHING if you're this unhappy. I will say I have gotten really involved in my community and that has helped. But I'm not going to try to convince you suburbs are better than the city, I can't wait to move back one day! I will say though echoing another poster, I really do feel like the childhood I'm giving my kids is much better for them, and that helps me be a bit more at peace with the whole thing.

Yup.

My oldest DD had just turned 9 when we moved to the burbs (it's now been 1.5 years). She doesn't miss restaurants, pastries, museums, plays, or walking places in the slightest (although we have seen some productions at suburban theatre that have been wonderful). Because she's 10 What does she love/care about ? Riding her bike and roller blading with her new neighborhood friends in our safe (no busy streets) neighborhood, the amazing ice skating program we found for her at a rink that is an easy-peasy 7 minute drive away, her rec soccer team, her own room free of her little sister, the pool we belong to in the summer and swim team, her new school friends. She looooooooves her school where the class sizes are a full 1/3 smaller than at her city school and where her teachers are for the first time able to give her some individualized attention.

I miss a lot about MY city life, and making new friends has been slow (although things have starting sticking/clicking in the last 4 months), but seeing her happy and thriving does do a lot to fill up my cup.

You said your 5 yr old is in kinder, right? That's a great age for getting involved in the schools.

There are TONS OF HAPPY FAMILIES living in less than 1400sf! I am one of them! It's great that your 9 year old adjusted well to suburban living. That's not even the question here -- the question is will the kids be upset by the move to the city. I haven't heard anyone say a move to the city was bad for their kids. Are you suggesting yours would not have been happy staying in the city? Great that your cup is filled seeing her happy, but you think that wouldn't have happened if you had stayed?

There are of course tradeoffs. In both directions.

BS. There are generations of siblings who have complained about sharing a bedroom. The apartment is too small.

Plenty of people have talked about the downsides between schooling, lack of kids centric activities, but instead OP folks on her bartender and deli pals.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I understand how you're feeling OP, I kind of feel the same way (moved from DC to a small town in NE) but I have to say my god I cannot imagine downsizing to that level with those age kids. Like 1400 sq ft is SMALL for that situation. It concerns me that you listed that in neutral, like you may not fully be thinking through what that means.

But I agree with others that you clearly should do SOMETHING if you're this unhappy. I will say I have gotten really involved in my community and that has helped. But I'm not going to try to convince you suburbs are better than the city, I can't wait to move back one day! I will say though echoing another poster, I really do feel like the childhood I'm giving my kids is much better for them, and that helps me be a bit more at peace with the whole thing.

Yup.

My oldest DD had just turned 9 when we moved to the burbs (it's now been 1.5 years). She doesn't miss restaurants, pastries, museums, plays, or walking places in the slightest (although we have seen some productions at suburban theatre that have been wonderful). Because she's 10 What does she love/care about ? Riding her bike and roller blading with her new neighborhood friends in our safe (no busy streets) neighborhood, the amazing ice skating program we found for her at a rink that is an easy-peasy 7 minute drive away, her rec soccer team, her own room free of her little sister, the pool we belong to in the summer and swim team, her new school friends. She looooooooves her school where the class sizes are a full 1/3 smaller than at her city school and where her teachers are for the first time able to give her some individualized attention.

I miss a lot about MY city life, and making new friends has been slow (although things have starting sticking/clicking in the last 4 months), but seeing her happy and thriving does do a lot to fill up my cup.

You said your 5 yr old is in kinder, right? That's a great age for getting involved in the schools.

There are TONS OF HAPPY FAMILIES living in less than 1400sf! I am one of them! It's great that your 9 year old adjusted well to suburban living. That's not even the question here -- the question is will the kids be upset by the move to the city. I haven't heard anyone say a move to the city was bad for their kids. Are you suggesting yours would not have been happy staying in the city? Great that your cup is filled seeing her happy, but you think that wouldn't have happened if you had stayed?

There are of course tradeoffs. In both directions.

Yes but it’s less than ideal. I know because I also lived in 1,400 square feet. You think it’s fine until you move in to a large suburban home with a huge kitchen, storage, a yard for kids, basement for storage, space for kids to play away from the adults and you can finally breathe. To voluntarily move back into that square footage is kind of foolish.

I don't know what to tell you. I made the move to the smaller space and we're happier. Aware of the tradeoffs but on balance, happier.

If I could have 2000sf in city I'd probably take it, but less space is a tradeoff I'm ok with. I'm here to tell op that she's not crazy for thinking she might be happier, too.

[Anonymous]

OK, OP, we are now to ten pages. The answer to your question then is to move. why crowdsource this if you are so full of "HATE"? MOVE..............................

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I understand how you're feeling OP, I kind of feel the same way (moved from DC to a small town in NE) but I have to say my god I cannot imagine downsizing to that level with those age kids. Like 1400 sq ft is SMALL for that situation. It concerns me that you listed that in neutral, like you may not fully be thinking through what that means.

But I agree with others that you clearly should do SOMETHING if you're this unhappy. I will say I have gotten really involved in my community and that has helped. But I'm not going to try to convince you suburbs are better than the city, I can't wait to move back one day! I will say though echoing another poster, I really do feel like the childhood I'm giving my kids is much better for them, and that helps me be a bit more at peace with the whole thing.

Yup.

My oldest DD had just turned 9 when we moved to the burbs (it's now been 1.5 years). She doesn't miss restaurants, pastries, museums, plays, or walking places in the slightest (although we have seen some productions at suburban theatre that have been wonderful). Because she's 10 What does she love/care about ? Riding her bike and roller blading with her new neighborhood friends in our safe (no busy streets) neighborhood, the amazing ice skating program we found for her at a rink that is an easy-peasy 7 minute drive away, her rec soccer team, her own room free of her little sister, the pool we belong to in the summer and swim team, her new school friends. She looooooooves her school where the class sizes are a full 1/3 smaller than at her city school and where her teachers are for the first time able to give her some individualized attention.

I miss a lot about MY city life, and making new friends has been slow (although things have starting sticking/clicking in the last 4 months), but seeing her happy and thriving does do a lot to fill up my cup.

You said your 5 yr old is in kinder, right? That's a great age for getting involved in the schools.

There are TONS OF HAPPY FAMILIES living in less than 1400sf! I am one of them! It's great that your 9 year old adjusted well to suburban living. That's not even the question here -- the question is will the kids be upset by the move to the city. I haven't heard anyone say a move to the city was bad for their kids. Are you suggesting yours would not have been happy staying in the city? Great that your cup is filled seeing her happy, but you think that wouldn't have happened if you had stayed?

There are of course tradeoffs. In both directions.

Yes but it’s less than ideal. I know because I also lived in 1,400 square feet. You think it’s fine until you move in to a large suburban home with a huge kitchen, storage, a yard for kids, basement for storage, space for kids to play away from the adults and you can finally breathe. To voluntarily move back into that square footage is kind of foolish.

You mention storage a lot. Why do you have so much stuff? I don't get it. My family of 4 and a dog live in 1,100 sqft and we have more than enough space.