Reply to I HATE the suburbs and have a chance to leave. This is long..more experienced parents help?

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[quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous]I understand how you're feeling OP, I kind of feel the same way (moved from DC to a small town in NE) but I have to say my god I cannot imagine downsizing to that level with those age kids. Like 1400 sq ft is SMALL for that situation. It concerns me that you listed that in neutral, like you may not fully be thinking through what that means.

But I agree with others that you clearly should do SOMETHING if you're this unhappy. I will say I have gotten really involved in my community and that has helped. But I'm not going to try to convince you suburbs are better than the city, I can't wait to move back one day! I will say though echoing another poster, I really do feel like the childhood I'm giving my kids is much better for them, and that helps me be a bit more at peace with the whole thing. [/quote]

Yup.

My oldest DD had just turned 9 when we moved to the burbs (it's now been 1.5 years).  She doesn't miss restaurants, pastries, museums, plays, or walking places in the slightest (although we have seen some productions at suburban theatre that have been wonderful).  Because she's 10  :lol:   What does she love/care about ?  Riding her bike and roller blading with her new neighborhood friends in our safe (no busy streets) neighborhood, the amazing ice skating program we found for her at a rink that is an easy-peasy 7 minute drive away, her rec soccer team, her own room free of her little sister, the pool we belong to in the summer and swim team, her new school friends.  She looooooooves her school where the class sizes are a full 1/3 smaller than at her city school and where her teachers are for the first time able to give her some individualized attention.

I miss a lot about MY city life, and making new friends has been slow (although things have starting sticking/clicking in the last 4 months), but seeing her happy and thriving does do a lot to fill up my cup.

You said your 5 yr old is in kinder, right?  That's a great age for getting involved in the schools.[/quote]

There are TONS OF HAPPY FAMILIES living in less than 1400sf!  I am one of them!  It's great that your 9 year old adjusted well to suburban living.  That's not even the question here -- the question is will the kids be upset by the move to the city.  I haven't heard anyone say a move to the city was bad for their kids.  Are you suggesting yours would not have been happy staying in the city?  Great that your cup is filled seeing her happy, but you think that wouldn't have happened if you had stayed?

There are of course tradeoffs.  In both directions. [/quote]

I'm not the PP who commented on the house size (I personally don't think that's such a big deal, our suburban house is pretty small).  My point was that all the things OP (and many others) are mentioning that THEY -- the adults -- love about the city aren't really things kids care about; they're not what make kids happy or thrive.  I do, like many, many, many other people, think that a suburban lifestyle is better for my child than a city one would have been.  I don't think she would have been miserable, but, yes, I do think this is much better for her.  Is that particularly controversial?  Don't most people move to the burbs for their kids?  [/quote]

People move for a lot of reasons.   Some leave the city with kids because it’s too expensive.  Some want a yard.  Some want a change.  Some leave the suburbs for the city.

The OP mentioned growing up in the city and all the nice memories she has as opposed to the isolation her family feels in the suburbs.

There was one poster here bragging about having a 12,000 sq ft house.  With all we know about excessive lifestyles contributing to global warming and weather issues you hope these mausoleums would become a thing of the past.

Hopefully the younger people will be more aware and only have what they need.  A city apartment where you can walk to a lot of places and you aren’t heating rooms that are never used can show children how to be aware of excess that has negative effects on the planet.

The OP has a young family and that’s the time to make a change. [/quote]

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