Are you suspicious of people who chose to work with kids?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:I have a daughter and we only used male babysitters.

The facts are women are more like to physically abuse children than males. You are either going to have to trust your instincts or never trust anyone.

Would love to see the groundbreaking report that turns all other research and data on its head. Please do share.

[Anonymous]

My son had his first male teachers in 3rd and 4th grades. Having a male teacher at that age did wonders for his self esteem. He has a fantastic female K teacher. But his next two teachers were women who sent notes home most days of the week about his behavior.

His 3rd grade teacher was really surprised that I even checked in on ds's behavior. He said my son's behavior was typical of 3rd graders, especially boys. My son's self esteem really grew that year.

I was very thankful for his male teachers.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I have a daughter and we only used male babysitters.

The facts are women are more like to physically abuse children than males. You are either going to have to trust your instincts or never trust anyone.

Would love to see the groundbreaking report that turns all other research and data on its head. Please do share.

Facts you ignorant moron.

https://www.statista.com/statistics/418470/number-of-perpetrators-in-child-abuse-cases-in-the-us-by-sex/

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Im a Cub Scout den leader. It isnt my regular job, it is a volunteer commitment. My kids wanted to do Cub Scouts and a den leader is necessary for every age. So I volunteered to be the den leader for one of them. I was background checked and have had to do youth protection training. I have also volunteered with the PTA and know many parents who volunteer as coaches, etc.

When your kiddo gets older you will realize that most activities, like the PTA, youth sports, scouts, etc. dont happen without parent volunteers. So we volunteer bc our love of our kids and our desire for them to be able to do an activity they love outweighs the annoyance factor inherent in any large group of children.

Plus one

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I'm a bit ashamed to admit it - but childhood traumas and newsworthy events make me, if not suspicious - very cautious and I do feel a bit sexist in that I probably eyeball men harder than women.

I do not allow my child to be alone with another adult - no rides, no one-on-one excursions. Me or DH will be there too! Or give everyone rides. DH feels similar and takes it further in that he will not be alone with someone else's child - not because of what he may do but because he knows that is how a lot of people feel even if they don't say it outloud.

I admit it's sad - and tied to past hurt and real issues. But I have one child now an adult out of the house and it's worked for me. Waiting on second to be old enough for me not to worry so much.

Flame away but I'm trying to be honest for thread purposes.

Same.

I was sexually abused twice in my life and both times were by men in leadership positions (cheerleading coach & youth pastor).

I make sure my daughters are rarely alone with men. No private lessons with male coaches, no private tutoring with a male tutor, etc.

I feel sexist being overly cautious, but I'd rather have those negative feelings about myself than allow the opportunity for my daughters to be abused like I was.

Don’t let people gaslight you that this is sexist. It’s a fact that men are FAR more likely to be an abuser than a woman. You sound like a good parent and you did the right thing. No reason to have negative feelings about yourself. Every decent man I know would be understanding about your precautions. The ones who don’t get it are exactly the ones you should have an extra eye on.

No one is gaslighting the OP.

Two things are abundantly clear:

- she suffers from the undiagnosed (and untreated) mental illness: anxiety disorder, and

- she is sexist. Can’t have it both ways.

You can not rationally say

- “I am not sexist, but I do not trust men.”

Seriously. Say the part in quotes out loud. See how ridiculous your beliefs are?? Be honest.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I have a daughter and we only used male babysitters.

The facts are women are more like to physically abuse children than males. You are either going to have to trust your instincts or never trust anyone.

Would love to see the groundbreaking report that turns all other research and data on its head. Please do share.

Facts you ignorant moron.

https://www.statista.com/statistics/418470/number-of-perpetrators-in-child-abuse-cases-in-the-us-by-sex/

I posted this on the other thread about family members in reply and I’ll repeat it here. The statistic that you are actually interested in is number of perpetrators by gender per x hour of childcare.

You are looking at the numerator and ignoring the denominator. . Women spend far more time taking care of kids, perhaps even 10x. The fact that the numbers are fairly equal means that even if women only spend 5x more time in childcare than men do, men are 4-5 x more likely to abuse kids than women.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I have a daughter and we only used male babysitters.

The facts are women are more like to physically abuse children than males. You are either going to have to trust your instincts or never trust anyone.

Would love to see the groundbreaking report that turns all other research and data on its head. Please do share.

Facts you ignorant moron.

https://www.statista.com/statistics/418470/number-of-perpetrators-in-child-abuse-cases-in-the-us-by-sex/

I posted this on the other thread about family members in reply and I’ll repeat it here. The statistic that you are actually interested in is number of perpetrators by gender per x hour of childcare.

You are looking at the numerator and ignoring the denominator. . Women spend far more time taking care of kids, perhaps even 10x. The fact that the numbers are fairly equal means that even if women only spend 5x more time in childcare than men do, men are 4-5 x more likely to abuse kids than women.

in your own family stats show. It’s rarely a stranger or coach according to stats

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:OP - your post says more about YOU than you realize. Please, for the sake of your child, get professional help.

+1,000

And as a parent of an infant, you know NOTHING. Shut your mouth, open your ears and listen.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I think it's creepy, yes. Just like how I find male gymnastics coaches creepy. And male nanny's creepy. And male aides in SN classrooms creepy.

Sexism is alive and well.

If it’s sexism if it’s based on fact? Sorry. 95% of sexual predators are men.

If you want to prove you aren’t a misandrist and sacrifice your kids to a male caregiver go for it.

I’ll wear whatever label you want me to label and have protected kids.

Actually, there are MANY women too. Most go undetected because if sexism like yours. You just THINK you are protecting your children. Good luck to them!

+1, I was sexually assaulted by a female coach. People didn't believe me because she was a woman and they thought I must have "misunderstood." I do think there is more female-perpetrated sexual assault than we realize because it doesn't get reported or, even if reported, accusers are not believed. I've read that this is also true for workplace harassment -- women harass more than gets reported because people are embarrassed to report harassment from a woman or reports are quickly dismissed as not credible.

There is also some gender normative stuff that goes on -- female aggressors are more likely to assault/harass other women (it makes sense, people looking for victims will target one who is physically weaker and who is unlikely to be believed). I think my assault was dismissed in part because both parties were female and that made it seem unimportant to others, like some kind of mean girl incident instead of a criminal assault, which is what it was.

I said 95% not all. You were assaulted by that 5% unfortunately.

I personally don’t trust my kid with anyone. Not even my own parents. Never worth the risk.

Get therapy. STAT.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I love kids. I’m not a predator. I just genuinely enjoy working with kids. They can be obnoxious, sure. But not all kids are obnoxious. Kids are generally much funnier, more imaginative, creative, full of wonder and joy than adults. Kids (most kids) haven’t been jaded yet and are not as cynical and negative as adults.

I would never harm a child and I am not creepy. I definitely think *some* people do take positions where they can work w kids just to prey on kids. But certainly not the majority of teachers, coaches, youth ministers.

Sounds like something a predator would say.

Now you’re just attention-seeking. Grow up.

[Anonymous]

Kids are much more fun to work with than adults. They are creative and hilarious and not bitter and jaded. They call people out in an honest way that is refreshing and you really have to be confident to work with them. It’s a bummer that we pay little or nothing to people who take on these jobs. I volunteer with high schoolers and at my elementary kids school but don’t have much time to do so as I can’t quit my day job.

Op you sound like you have post partum anxiety. Realize there are greater risks that come with isolating your kid from society than from engaging with it. Not least of which is that it’s very easy to infect your child with fear and paranoia that could handicap them for life. For the sake of your kid get some therapy to get the anxiety under control. Every time you give into anxiety it gets stronger.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I have a daughter and we only used male babysitters.

The facts are women are more like to physically abuse children than males. You are either going to have to trust your instincts or never trust anyone.

Would love to see the groundbreaking report that turns all other research and data on its head. Please do share.

Facts you ignorant moron.

https://www.statista.com/statistics/418470/number-of-perpetrators-in-child-abuse-cases-in-the-us-by-sex/

I posted this on the other thread about family members in reply and I’ll repeat it here. The statistic that you are actually interested in is number of perpetrators by gender per x hour of childcare.

You are looking at the numerator and ignoring the denominator. . Women spend far more time taking care of kids, perhaps even 10x. The fact that the numbers are fairly equal means that even if women only spend 5x more time in childcare than men do, men are 4-5 x more likely to abuse kids than women.

Show me actual data otherwise you are just making assumptions. Let me share some things with you:

Analyzing data gathered from 11,370 respondents, researchers found that “half of [violent relationships] were reciprocally violent. In non-reciprocally violent relationships, women were the perpetrators in more that 70% of the cases.” Out of all the respondents, a quarter of the women admitted to perpetrating the domestic violence and, when the violence was reciprocal, women were often the ones to have been the first to strike. In addition, an analytic view of 552 domestic violence studies published in the Psychological Bulletin found that 38% of the physical injuries suffered in domestic violence disputes were suffered by men.”

“When we think of domestic violence, the image that most often comes to mind is that of an aggressive male perpetrator and a beaten female victim. However, the American Journal of Public Health’s most recent large-scale study of domestic violence shows that in reality, women are actually more often the perpetrators.”
https://bust.com/general/9702-women-more-often-the-aggressors-in-domestic-violence.html,

analysis of 34,000 men and women by a British academic. Women lash out more frequently than their husbands or boyfriends, concludes John Archer, professor of psychology at the University of Central Lancashire and president of the International Society for Research on Aggression.
… Professor Archer analysed data from 82 US and UK studies on relationship violence, dating back to 1972. He also looked at 17 studies based on victim reports from 1,140 men and women…. [H]e said that female aggression was greater in westernised women because they were “economically emancipated” and therefore not afraid of ending a relationship.” See: https://www.thenewamerican.com/usnews/crime/item/19133-women-more-likely-to-commit-domestic-violence-studies-show.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Kids are much more fun to work with than adults. They are creative and hilarious and not bitter and jaded. They call people out in an honest way that is refreshing and you really have to be confident to work with them. It’s a bummer that we pay little or nothing to people who take on these jobs. I volunteer with high schoolers and at my elementary kids school but don’t have much time to do so as I can’t quit my day job.

Op you sound like you have post partum anxiety. Realize there are greater risks that come with isolating your kid from society than from engaging with it. Not least of which is that it’s very easy to infect your child with fear and paranoia that could handicap them for life. For the sake of your kid get some therapy to get the anxiety under control. Every time you give into anxiety it gets stronger.

plus 1000

[Anonymous]

Former teacher of the year (female) in California was just arrested for having sex with a 16 year old. I guess op should homeschool.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I have a daughter and we only used male babysitters.

The facts are women are more like to physically abuse children than males. You are either going to have to trust your instincts or never trust anyone.

Would love to see the groundbreaking report that turns all other research and data on its head. Please do share.

Facts you ignorant moron.

https://www.statista.com/statistics/418470/number-of-perpetrators-in-child-abuse-cases-in-the-us-by-sex/

I posted this on the other thread about family members in reply and I’ll repeat it here. The statistic that you are actually interested in is number of perpetrators by gender per x hour of childcare.

You are looking at the numerator and ignoring the denominator. . Women spend far more time taking care of kids, perhaps even 10x. The fact that the numbers are fairly equal means that even if women only spend 5x more time in childcare than men do, men are 4-5 x more likely to abuse kids than women.

Show me actual data otherwise you are just making assumptions. Let me share some things with you:

Analyzing data gathered from 11,370 respondents, researchers found that “half of [violent relationships] were reciprocally violent. In non-reciprocally violent relationships, women were the perpetrators in more that 70% of the cases.” Out of all the respondents, a quarter of the women admitted to perpetrating the domestic violence and, when the violence was reciprocal, women were often the ones to have been the first to strike. In addition, an analytic view of 552 domestic violence studies published in the Psychological Bulletin found that 38% of the physical injuries suffered in domestic violence disputes were suffered by men.”

“When we think of domestic violence, the image that most often comes to mind is that of an aggressive male perpetrator and a beaten female victim. However, the American Journal of Public Health’s most recent large-scale study of domestic violence shows that in reality, women are actually more often the perpetrators.”
https://bust.com/general/9702-women-more-often-the-aggressors-in-domestic-violence.html,

analysis of 34,000 men and women by a British academic. Women lash out more frequently than their husbands or boyfriends, concludes John Archer, professor of psychology at the University of Central Lancashire and president of the International Society for Research on Aggression.
… Professor Archer analysed data from 82 US and UK studies on relationship violence, dating back to 1972. He also looked at 17 studies based on victim reports from 1,140 men and women…. [H]e said that female aggression was greater in westernised women because they were “economically emancipated” and therefore not afraid of ending a relationship.” See: https://www.thenewamerican.com/usnews/crime/item/19133-women-more-likely-to-commit-domestic-violence-studies-show.

So that explains why there are more women arrested/indicted/in jail for domestic violence? Oh wait, 90% of people who commit violent physical assault are men. Males perpetrate 95% of all serious domestic violence.

Source: U.S. Department of Justice, Bureau of Justice Statistics. Sourcebook of Criminal Justice Statistics Online. http://www.albany.edu/sourcebook/