Reply to Are you suspicious of people who chose to work with kids?

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[quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous]I'm a bit ashamed to admit it - but [b]childhood traumas[/b] and newsworthy events make me, if not suspicious - [b]very cautious and I do feel a bit sexist in that I probably eyeball men harder than women.[/b]

I do not allow my child to be alone with another adult - no rides, no one-on-one excursions. Me or DH will be there too! Or give everyone rides. DH feels similar and takes it further in that he will not be alone with someone else's child - not because of what he may do but because he knows that is how a lot of people feel even if they don't say it outloud.

I admit it's sad - and tied to past hurt and real issues. But I have one child now an adult out of the house and it's worked for me. Waiting on second to be old enough for me not to worry so much.

Flame away but I'm trying to be honest for thread purposes.[/quote]

Same.

I was sexually abused twice in my life and both times were by men in leadership positions (cheerleading coach & youth pastor).

I make sure my daughters are rarely alone with men. No private lessons with male coaches, no private tutoring with a male tutor, etc.

I feel sexist being overly cautious, but I'd rather have those negative feelings about myself than allow the opportunity for my daughters to be abused like I was. [/quote]

Don’t let people gaslight you that this is sexist. It’s a fact that men are FAR more likely to be an abuser than a woman.  You sound like a good parent and you did the right thing.  No reason to have negative feelings about yourself.  Every decent man I know would be understanding about your precautions.  The ones who don’t get it are exactly the ones you should have an extra eye on.

[/quote]

No one is gaslighting the OP.

Two things are abundantly clear:

- she suffers from the undiagnosed (and untreated) mental illness: anxiety disorder, and

- she is sexist.  Can’t have it both ways.

You can not rationally say

-  “I am not sexist, but I do not trust men.”

Seriously.  Say the part in quotes out loud.  See how ridiculous your beliefs are??  Be honest.

[/quote]

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