Are you suspicious of people who chose to work with kids?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I think it's creepy, yes. Just like how I find male gymnastics coaches creepy. And male nanny's creepy. And male aides in SN classrooms creepy.

Sexism is alive and well.

If it’s sexism if it’s based on fact? Sorry. 95% of sexual predators are men.

If you want to prove you aren’t a misandrist and sacrifice your kids to a male caregiver go for it.

I’ll wear whatever label you want me to label and have protected kids.

Actually, there are MANY women too. Most go undetected because if sexism like yours. You just THINK you are protecting your children. Good luck to them!

+1, I was sexually assaulted by a female coach. People didn't believe me because she was a woman and they thought I must have "misunderstood." I do think there is more female-perpetrated sexual assault than we realize because it doesn't get reported or, even if reported, accusers are not believed. I've read that this is also true for workplace harassment -- women harass more than gets reported because people are embarrassed to report harassment from a woman or reports are quickly dismissed as not credible.

There is also some gender normative stuff that goes on -- female aggressors are more likely to assault/harass other women (it makes sense, people looking for victims will target one who is physically weaker and who is unlikely to be believed). I think my assault was dismissed in part because both parties were female and that made it seem unimportant to others, like some kind of mean girl incident instead of a criminal assault, which is what it was.

I said 95% not all. You were assaulted by that 5% unfortunately.

I personally don’t trust my kid with anyone. Not even my own parents. Never worth the risk.

This is not healthy and is not going to be good for your kid in the long run.

[Anonymous]

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Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Im a Cub Scout den leader. It isnt my regular job, it is a volunteer commitment. My kids wanted to do Cub Scouts and a den leader is necessary for every age. So I volunteered to be the den leader for one of them. I was background checked and have had to do youth protection training. I have also volunteered with the PTA and know many parents who volunteer as coaches, etc.

When your kiddo gets older you will realize that most activities, like the PTA, youth sports, scouts, etc. dont happen without parent volunteers. So we volunteer bc our love of our kids and our desire for them to be able to do an activity they love outweighs the annoyance factor inherent in any large group of children.

I trust other parents much more than I do people without kids.

I get how parents are forced into interacting with other peoples kids for their own kids.

Sometimes people work with kids because they wanted kids of their own but for whatever reason couldn't. So this is their way to get their "parenting" urge scratched.

But they aren’t parents and they aren’t their kids. Therefor they cannot truly love and care for these kids.

I agree with that mostly but apparently most parents don't have much of a problem letting people who don't actually love their kids or prioritize them first take care of them during most of their waking hours, starting when they are tiny infants.

[Anonymous]

[quote=Anonymous]I just watched a documentary about rampant sexual abuse in the Boy Scouts so this is freshly on my mind but I don’t think I trust people who want to work around kids.

I just guess I can’t understand their reasoning unless it’s nefarious?

The pay in these jobs is always very low and very rarely have good benefits. I just don’t believe people do it because they “love” other peoples kids. I love my kid, but not really anyone else’s. I don’t want them harmed of course but never would I willingly spend any amount of time with someone else’s kids. Kids are gross and obnoxious. The only reason I can see people putting up with it would be if they’re their kids or they’re paid incredibly well to put up with it.

And I don’t want to seem like I’m demonizing educators. I can somewhat understand the draw for teachers. I’m sure helping young people learn can give some people an internal, moral drive.

But I just can’t shake this suspicion of yeah, obviously volunteer based work like Cub Scout leaders or children’s swim coaches or any job where an adult chooses to spend a lot of time with children often without parents.

My baby is an infant and only is cared for by myself, my DH and my mother but at some point I’ll have to let her be under the care of someone else and it just really scares me.

We toured a daycare when DD was about 4 months old and I just thought… why would anyone work here? It seemed like hell and the pay was abysmal. My mind couldn’t shake the idea that these people just wanted access to my kid and it freaked me out.

Call me crazy, but think about it. What benefits are there? Why would some 40-year-old choose to spend all day with other peoples kids making $15 an hour when they could have an easier job with adult interaction and make $18 an hour? I just can’t believe it’s a “goodness of their heart” thing. People don’t work like that. [/quote]

It’s not just those without kids. Remember that creepy dad that lives in Somerset in chevy chase that hosted splash parties for the neighborhood and insisted they shower before going home?! A cautionary tale to pay attention and talk to your kids

[Anonymous]

Your baby can be under your care until preschool or kindergarten, if you choose. Daycare for infants and toddlers is not a requirement. I would start small, like a 2 morning a week preschool when your child is 3, run by teachers who are highly recommended and well-known by other families.

[Anonymous]

https://moco360.media/2017/11/02/parents-blas...hidden-camera-found/

Here’s the info on the guy in Somerset. Is he still living there?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Im a Cub Scout den leader. It isnt my regular job, it is a volunteer commitment. My kids wanted to do Cub Scouts and a den leader is necessary for every age. So I volunteered to be the den leader for one of them. I was background checked and have had to do youth protection training. I have also volunteered with the PTA and know many parents who volunteer as coaches, etc.

When your kiddo gets older you will realize that most activities, like the PTA, youth sports, scouts, etc. dont happen without parent volunteers. So we volunteer bc our love of our kids and our desire for them to be able to do an activity they love outweighs the annoyance factor inherent in any large group of children.

I trust other parents much more than I do people without kids.

I get how parents are forced into interacting with other peoples kids for their own kids.

Sometimes people work with kids because they wanted kids of their own but for whatever reason couldn't. So this is their way to get their "parenting" urge scratched.

But they aren’t parents and they aren’t their kids. Therefor they cannot truly love and care for these kids.

It must be nice to know exactly what everyone is capable of thinking and feeling and to be in a position to judge the entire world.

I have four daughters. Two have kids, two don’t. The two who don’t both work in the education field, one as a special education teacher assigned the students with the most severe needs in the public school systems, and the other as a middle school guidance counselor in an urban school. Trust me, they’re not doing it to molest the kids, and while they may not love their students the way that they might have loved their own kids - or, for that matter, the way they love their nieces and nephews - they care deeply for their students and work their a$$es off for them. In fact, in the case of the special Ed teacher, she’s sworn off having her own kids because the ones she deals with day in and day out consume every ounce of energy she has.

You should be grateful that people like my kids exist and STFU.

[Anonymous]

I love kids. I’m not a predator. I just genuinely enjoy working with kids. They can be obnoxious, sure. But not all kids are obnoxious. Kids are generally much funnier, more imaginative, creative, full of wonder and joy than adults. Kids (most kids) haven’t been jaded yet and are not as cynical and negative as adults.

I would never harm a child and I am not creepy. I definitely think *some* people do take positions where they can work w kids just to prey on kids. But certainly not the majority of teachers, coaches, youth ministers.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Im a Cub Scout den leader. It isnt my regular job, it is a volunteer commitment. My kids wanted to do Cub Scouts and a den leader is necessary for every age. So I volunteered to be the den leader for one of them. I was background checked and have had to do youth protection training. I have also volunteered with the PTA and know many parents who volunteer as coaches, etc.

When your kiddo gets older you will realize that most activities, like the PTA, youth sports, scouts, etc. dont happen without parent volunteers. So we volunteer bc our love of our kids and our desire for them to be able to do an activity they love outweighs the annoyance factor inherent in any large group of children.

I trust other parents much more than I do people without kids.

I get how parents are forced into interacting with other peoples kids for their own kids.

Sometimes people work with kids because they wanted kids of their own but for whatever reason couldn't. So this is their way to get their "parenting" urge scratched.

But they aren’t parents and they aren’t their kids. Therefor they cannot truly love and care for these kids.

It must be nice to know exactly what everyone is capable of thinking and feeling and to be in a position to judge the entire world.

I have four daughters. Two have kids, two don’t. The two who don’t both work in the education field, one as a special education teacher assigned the students with the most severe needs in the public school systems, and the other as a middle school guidance counselor in an urban school. Trust me, they’re not doing it to molest the kids, and while they may not love their students the way that they might have loved their own kids - or, for that matter, the way they love their nieces and nephews - they care deeply for their students and work their a$$es off for them. In fact, in the case of the special Ed teacher, she’s sworn off having her own kids because the ones she deals with day in and day out consume every ounce of energy she has.

You should be grateful that people like my kids exist and STFU.

And how do you know their intentions? Because they are your kids and you love them.

I’m sure the parents of tons of sexual predators didn’t think their children were capable of what they were capable of.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:I love kids. I’m not a predator. I just genuinely enjoy working with kids. They can be obnoxious, sure. But not all kids are obnoxious. Kids are generally much funnier, more imaginative, creative, full of wonder and joy than adults. Kids (most kids) haven’t been jaded yet and are not as cynical and negative as adults.

I would never harm a child and I am not creepy. I definitely think *some* people do take positions where they can work w kids just to prey on kids. But certainly not the majority of teachers, coaches, youth ministers.

Sounds like something a predator would say.

[Anonymous]

I have worked in several fields that involved working with kids and while most of the people I worked with over the years are not a threat to your kids there definitely are some who are. Therefore you should be suspicious of all of them because you will definitely not know who is a threat until it's too late in most cases. That suspicion should cause you to be vigilant, careful, present and really listen to your kids but it shouldn't cause you to disrupt your children's normal lives due to being overly cautious.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I love kids. I’m not a predator. I just genuinely enjoy working with kids. They can be obnoxious, sure. But not all kids are obnoxious. Kids are generally much funnier, more imaginative, creative, full of wonder and joy than adults. Kids (most kids) haven’t been jaded yet and are not as cynical and negative as adults.

I would never harm a child and I am not creepy. I definitely think *some* people do take positions where they can work w kids just to prey on kids. But certainly not the majority of teachers, coaches, youth ministers.

Sounds like something a predator would say.

Pp here. Why do you say that? are you a very paranoid person who doesn’t have a good grasp of reality?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:So I work in LE and see and hear all sorts of stuff.I am also a paranoid person and think anyone has the potential to be a pedophile. Not literally like we all do, but in the sense that I don’t know what people think about behind the facade and you just never know. BUT I don’t let it impact my kids social life. I’ve talked to her about red flags, I’ve gone over scenarios with her, she knows to not change in front of other people etc etc…… OP you need to protect your kid as best you can by giving them age appropriate knowledge. Not keeping them in a bubble.

My Dad was also in LE and told me lots of stories about how vulnerable children are. Agree about giving them empowering info so they can look after themselves, age appropriate.

I'm always on the lookout for anyone acting squirrely with my kids or anyone else's. I've never allowed my boys to be in a one-on-one situation with coaches, teachers, etc. Predators know when a parent is paying attention and when they aren't. They'll move on to easier targets if you're alert and vigilant.

I noticed that our Catholic high school seems to have started requiring teachers to only communicate with students via the school email addresses - no texts. Protects everyone.

[Anonymous]

I'm sorry that you can't fathom that other people find joy in working with children.

I love teenagers. They are hilarious and witty and so excited about changing the world. They reinvigorate me and remind me there is good in the world.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Im a Cub Scout den leader. It isnt my regular job, it is a volunteer commitment. My kids wanted to do Cub Scouts and a den leader is necessary for every age. So I volunteered to be the den leader for one of them. I was background checked and have had to do youth protection training. I have also volunteered with the PTA and know many parents who volunteer as coaches, etc.

When your kiddo gets older you will realize that most activities, like the PTA, youth sports, scouts, etc. dont happen without parent volunteers. So we volunteer bc our love of our kids and our desire for them to be able to do an activity they love outweighs the annoyance factor inherent in any large group of children.

I trust other parents much more than I do people without kids.

I get how parents are forced into interacting with other peoples kids for their own kids.

Sometimes people work with kids because they wanted kids of their own but for whatever reason couldn't. So this is their way to get their "parenting" urge scratched.

But they aren’t parents and they aren’t their kids. Therefor they cannot truly love and care for these kids.

It must be nice to know exactly what everyone is capable of thinking and feeling and to be in a position to judge the entire world.

I have four daughters. Two have kids, two don’t. The two who don’t both work in the education field, one as a special education teacher assigned the students with the most severe needs in the public school systems, and the other as a middle school guidance counselor in an urban school. Trust me, they’re not doing it to molest the kids, and while they may not love their students the way that they might have loved their own kids - or, for that matter, the way they love their nieces and nephews - they care deeply for their students and work their a$$es off for them. In fact, in the case of the special Ed teacher, she’s sworn off having her own kids because the ones she deals with day in and day out consume every ounce of energy she has.

You should be grateful that people like my kids exist and STFU.

And how do you know their intentions? Because they are your kids and you love them.

I’m sure the parents of tons of sexual predators didn’t think their children were capable of what they were capable of.

You’re obtuse.

The point isn’t that you have to be the parent one to understand that one exists. The point is that they exist.

You need psychiatric help.

[Anonymous]

I have a master's degree in an allied health field and work with kids. I really hope to God that people don't think that way of me. I think kids can be funny and I wanted to make a positive impact, but this is not my first choice in careers. I didn't get into this for any ulterior motive. This kind of question makes me question my career decision.