Are you suspicious of people who chose to work with kids?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I have a daughter and we only used male babysitters.

The facts are women are more like to physically abuse children than males. You are either going to have to trust your instincts or never trust anyone.

Would love to see the groundbreaking report that turns all other research and data on its head. Please do share.

Facts you ignorant moron.

https://www.statista.com/statistics/418470/number-of-perpetrators-in-child-abuse-cases-in-the-us-by-sex/

I posted this on the other thread about family members in reply and I’ll repeat it here. The statistic that you are actually interested in is number of perpetrators by gender per x hour of childcare.

You are looking at the numerator and ignoring the denominator. . Women spend far more time taking care of kids, perhaps even 10x. The fact that the numbers are fairly equal means that even if women only spend 5x more time in childcare than men do, men are 4-5 x more likely to abuse kids than women.

Show me actual data otherwise you are just making assumptions. Let me share some things with you:

Analyzing data gathered from 11,370 respondents, researchers found that “half of [violent relationships] were reciprocally violent. In non-reciprocally violent relationships, women were the perpetrators in more that 70% of the cases.” Out of all the respondents, a quarter of the women admitted to perpetrating the domestic violence and, when the violence was reciprocal, women were often the ones to have been the first to strike. In addition, an analytic view of 552 domestic violence studies published in the Psychological Bulletin found that 38% of the physical injuries suffered in domestic violence disputes were suffered by men.”

“When we think of domestic violence, the image that most often comes to mind is that of an aggressive male perpetrator and a beaten female victim. However, the American Journal of Public Health’s most recent large-scale study of domestic violence shows that in reality, women are actually more often the perpetrators.”
https://bust.com/general/9702-women-more-often-the-aggressors-in-domestic-violence.html,

analysis of 34,000 men and women by a British academic. Women lash out more frequently than their husbands or boyfriends, concludes John Archer, professor of psychology at the University of Central Lancashire and president of the International Society for Research on Aggression.
… Professor Archer analysed data from 82 US and UK studies on relationship violence, dating back to 1972. He also looked at 17 studies based on victim reports from 1,140 men and women…. [H]e said that female aggression was greater in westernised women because they were “economically emancipated” and therefore not afraid of ending a relationship.” See: https://www.thenewamerican.com/usnews/crime/item/19133-women-more-likely-to-commit-domestic-violence-studies-show.

So that explains why there are more women arrested/indicted/in jail for domestic violence? Oh wait, 90% of people who commit violent physical assault are men. Males perpetrate 95% of all serious domestic violence.

Source: U.S. Department of Justice, Bureau of Justice Statistics. Sourcebook of Criminal Justice Statistics Online. http://www.albany.edu/sourcebook/

And here you are gaslighting the facts that women are more likely than men to commit physical abuse of CHILDREN than men.

Go search any number of news stories and let’s talk about the sexual abuse of children by female teachers.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I have a daughter and we only used male babysitters.

The facts are women are more like to physically abuse children than males. You are either going to have to trust your instincts or never trust anyone.

Would love to see the groundbreaking report that turns all other research and data on its head. Please do share.

Facts you ignorant moron.

https://www.statista.com/statistics/418470/number-of-perpetrators-in-child-abuse-cases-in-the-us-by-sex/

I posted this on the other thread about family members in reply and I’ll repeat it here. The statistic that you are actually interested in is number of perpetrators by gender per x hour of childcare.

You are looking at the numerator and ignoring the denominator. . Women spend far more time taking care of kids, perhaps even 10x. The fact that the numbers are fairly equal means that even if women only spend 5x more time in childcare than men do, men are 4-5 x more likely to abuse kids than women.

Show me actual data otherwise you are just making assumptions. Let me share some things with you:

Analyzing data gathered from 11,370 respondents, researchers found that “half of [violent relationships] were reciprocally violent. In non-reciprocally violent relationships, women were the perpetrators in more that 70% of the cases.” Out of all the respondents, a quarter of the women admitted to perpetrating the domestic violence and, when the violence was reciprocal, women were often the ones to have been the first to strike. In addition, an analytic view of 552 domestic violence studies published in the Psychological Bulletin found that 38% of the physical injuries suffered in domestic violence disputes were suffered by men.”

“When we think of domestic violence, the image that most often comes to mind is that of an aggressive male perpetrator and a beaten female victim. However, the American Journal of Public Health’s most recent large-scale study of domestic violence shows that in reality, women are actually more often the perpetrators.”
https://bust.com/general/9702-women-more-often-the-aggressors-in-domestic-violence.html,

analysis of 34,000 men and women by a British academic. Women lash out more frequently than their husbands or boyfriends, concludes John Archer, professor of psychology at the University of Central Lancashire and president of the International Society for Research on Aggression.
… Professor Archer analysed data from 82 US and UK studies on relationship violence, dating back to 1972. He also looked at 17 studies based on victim reports from 1,140 men and women…. [H]e said that female aggression was greater in westernised women because they were “economically emancipated” and therefore not afraid of ending a relationship.” See: https://www.thenewamerican.com/usnews/crime/item/19133-women-more-likely-to-commit-domestic-violence-studies-show.

So that explains why there are more women arrested/indicted/in jail for domestic violence? Oh wait, 90% of people who commit violent physical assault are men. Males perpetrate 95% of all serious domestic violence.

Source: U.S. Department of Justice, Bureau of Justice Statistics. Sourcebook of Criminal Justice Statistics Online. http://www.albany.edu/sourcebook/

And here you are gaslighting the facts that women are more likely than men to commit physical abuse of CHILDREN than men.

Go search any number of news stories and let’s talk about the sexual abuse of children by female teachers.

Ummm, again you are ignoring the denominator. And you are looking at anecdotes, not data. Even though 75% of teachers are female, men still outnumber women when it comes to educator sexual abuse.

https://journals.sagepub.com/doi/pdf/10.1177/0887403418806564

Providing data is not gas lighting. Women would have to outnumber men 3:1 in order to be equal sex offenders in k-12 education, and that’s just not the case. Hope you have a good accountant for your taxes, it doesn’t seem like numbers are your strong suit.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I have a daughter and we only used male babysitters.

The facts are women are more like to physically abuse children than males. You are either going to have to trust your instincts or never trust anyone.

Would love to see the groundbreaking report that turns all other research and data on its head. Please do share.

Facts you ignorant moron.

https://www.statista.com/statistics/418470/number-of-perpetrators-in-child-abuse-cases-in-the-us-by-sex/

I posted this on the other thread about family members in reply and I’ll repeat it here. The statistic that you are actually interested in is number of perpetrators by gender per x hour of childcare.

You are looking at the numerator and ignoring the denominator. . Women spend far more time taking care of kids, perhaps even 10x. The fact that the numbers are fairly equal means that even if women only spend 5x more time in childcare than men do, men are 4-5 x more likely to abuse kids than women.

Show me actual data otherwise you are just making assumptions. Let me share some things with you:

Analyzing data gathered from 11,370 respondents, researchers found that “half of [violent relationships] were reciprocally violent. In non-reciprocally violent relationships, women were the perpetrators in more that 70% of the cases.” Out of all the respondents, a quarter of the women admitted to perpetrating the domestic violence and, when the violence was reciprocal, women were often the ones to have been the first to strike. In addition, an analytic view of 552 domestic violence studies published in the Psychological Bulletin found that 38% of the physical injuries suffered in domestic violence disputes were suffered by men.”

“When we think of domestic violence, the image that most often comes to mind is that of an aggressive male perpetrator and a beaten female victim. However, the American Journal of Public Health’s most recent large-scale study of domestic violence shows that in reality, women are actually more often the perpetrators.”
https://bust.com/general/9702-women-more-often-the-aggressors-in-domestic-violence.html,

analysis of 34,000 men and women by a British academic. Women lash out more frequently than their husbands or boyfriends, concludes John Archer, professor of psychology at the University of Central Lancashire and president of the International Society for Research on Aggression.
… Professor Archer analysed data from 82 US and UK studies on relationship violence, dating back to 1972. He also looked at 17 studies based on victim reports from 1,140 men and women…. [H]e said that female aggression was greater in westernised women because they were “economically emancipated” and therefore not afraid of ending a relationship.” See: https://www.thenewamerican.com/usnews/crime/item/19133-women-more-likely-to-commit-domestic-violence-studies-show.

So that explains why there are more women arrested/indicted/in jail for domestic violence? Oh wait, 90% of people who commit violent physical assault are men. Males perpetrate 95% of all serious domestic violence.

Source: U.S. Department of Justice, Bureau of Justice Statistics. Sourcebook of Criminal Justice Statistics Online. http://www.albany.edu/sourcebook/

And here you are gaslighting the facts that women are more likely than men to commit physical abuse of CHILDREN than men.

Go search any number of news stories and let’s talk about the sexual abuse of children by female teachers.

Ummm, again you are ignoring the denominator. And you are looking at anecdotes, not data. Even though 75% of teachers are female, men still outnumber women when it comes to educator sexual abuse.

https://journals.sagepub.com/doi/pdf/10.1177/0887403418806564

Providing data is not gas lighting. Women would have to outnumber men 3:1 in order to be equal sex offenders in k-12 education, and that’s just not the case. Hope you have a good accountant for your taxes, it doesn’t seem like numbers are your strong suit.

Not poster you’re responding too, but you seem to be ignoring the stats that say your kid is mostly to be abused by a family member and not a teacher.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:I just watched a documentary about rampant sexual abuse in the Boy Scouts so this is freshly on my mind but I don’t think I trust people who want to work around kids.

I just guess I can’t understand their reasoning unless it’s nefarious?

The pay in these jobs is always very low and very rarely have good benefits. I just don’t believe people do it because they “love” other peoples kids. I love my kid, but not really anyone else’s. I don’t want them harmed of course but never would I willingly spend any amount of time with someone else’s kids. Kids are gross and obnoxious. The only reason I can see people putting up with it would be if they’re their kids or they’re paid incredibly well to put up with it.

And I don’t want to seem like I’m demonizing educators. I can somewhat understand the draw for teachers. I’m sure helping young people learn can give some people an internal, moral drive.

But I just can’t shake this suspicion of yeah, obviously volunteer based work like Cub Scout leaders or children’s swim coaches or any job where an adult chooses to spend a lot of time with children often without parents.

My baby is an infant and only is cared for by myself, my DH and my mother but at some point I’ll have to let her be under the care of someone else and it just really scares me.

We toured a daycare when DD was about 4 months old and I just thought… why would anyone work here? It seemed like hell and the pay was abysmal. My mind couldn’t shake the idea that these people just wanted access to my kid and it freaked me out.

Call me crazy, but think about it. What benefits are there? Why would some 40-year-old choose to spend all day with other peoples kids making $15 an hour when they could have an easier job with adult interaction and make $18 an hour? I just can’t believe it’s a “goodness of their heart” thing. People don’t work like that.

I work in a traditional part-time preschool: we are open September to May and the children only attend for 3 hours a day. I make a little over $20 an hour. I'm an assistant teacher. I have a Master's Degree in a completely different field and had a "career" before I had my own children. Why do I work there? I have children at home and it's a great way for me to work a little outside of the home and never have to worry about daycare. When my children have a snow day, our preschool has a snow day. I'm fortunate in that I don't have to work but I also like having a little of my own money. My job is fun. I never stress about my job. I work with 3, 4 and 5 year olds. I'm not the teacher so I'm not planning any lesson plans. I don't have to interact with the parents, other than making small talk. I show up about 15 minutes before class starts and leave 15 minutes after it ends. I get to color, sing songs, dance, dig in the sand, eat a snack. Yes, sometimes it's gross. I've had to deal with vomit, messy diapers, green yucky snot, etc. Believe me, every year there is at least one child who I hope is absent every day. But the positives far outweigh the negatives. This is why I spend hours every day with other peoples' kids making $20 an hour.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I just watched a documentary about rampant sexual abuse in the Boy Scouts so this is freshly on my mind but I don’t think I trust people who want to work around kids.

I just guess I can’t understand their reasoning unless it’s nefarious?

The pay in these jobs is always very low and very rarely have good benefits. I just don’t believe people do it because they “love” other peoples kids. I love my kid, but not really anyone else’s. I don’t want them harmed of course but never would I willingly spend any amount of time with someone else’s kids. Kids are gross and obnoxious. The only reason I can see people putting up with it would be if they’re their kids or they’re paid incredibly well to put up with it.

And I don’t want to seem like I’m demonizing educators. I can somewhat understand the draw for teachers. I’m sure helping young people learn can give some people an internal, moral drive.

But I just can’t shake this suspicion of yeah, obviously volunteer based work like Cub Scout leaders or children’s swim coaches or any job where an adult chooses to spend a lot of time with children often without parents.

My baby is an infant and only is cared for by myself, my DH and my mother but at some point I’ll have to let her be under the care of someone else and it just really scares me.

We toured a daycare when DD was about 4 months old and I just thought… why would anyone work here? It seemed like hell and the pay was abysmal. My mind couldn’t shake the idea that these people just wanted access to my kid and it freaked me out.

Call me crazy, but think about it. What benefits are there? Why would some 40-year-old choose to spend all day with other peoples kids making $15 an hour when they could have an easier job with adult interaction and make $18 an hour? I just can’t believe it’s a “goodness of their heart” thing. People don’t work like that.

I work in a traditional part-time preschool: we are open September to May and the children only attend for 3 hours a day. I make a little over $20 an hour. I'm an assistant teacher. I have a Master's Degree in a completely different field and had a "career" before I had my own children. Why do I work there? I have children at home and it's a great way for me to work a little outside of the home and never have to worry about daycare. When my children have a snow day, our preschool has a snow day. I'm fortunate in that I don't have to work but I also like having a little of my own money. My job is fun. I never stress about my job. I work with 3, 4 and 5 year olds. I'm not the teacher so I'm not planning any lesson plans. I don't have to interact with the parents, other than making small talk. I show up about 15 minutes before class starts and leave 15 minutes after it ends. I get to color, sing songs, dance, dig in the sand, eat a snack. Yes, sometimes it's gross. I've had to deal with vomit, messy diapers, green yucky snot, etc. Believe me, every year there is at least one child who I hope is absent every day. But the positives far outweigh the negatives. This is why I spend hours every day with other peoples' kids making $20 an hour.

This describes me, except I work with slightly older kids (K-2). I'm thinking of making the switch to 4-5 year old preschool, but it's mixed half/half IEP and NT kids... and I don't know about dealing with potty training again too. I agree with you about the low stress, no administrative work like teachers have, and alignment with my own kid's schedule.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Im a Cub Scout den leader. It isnt my regular job, it is a volunteer commitment. My kids wanted to do Cub Scouts and a den leader is necessary for every age. So I volunteered to be the den leader for one of them. I was background checked and have had to do youth protection training. I have also volunteered with the PTA and know many parents who volunteer as coaches, etc.

When your kiddo gets older you will realize that most activities, like the PTA, youth sports, scouts, etc. dont happen without parent volunteers. So we volunteer bc our love of our kids and our desire for them to be able to do an activity they love outweighs the annoyance factor inherent in any large group of children.

Assuming you’re a man. If so, men using the term kiddo unironically is a red flag to me. Not joking.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Im a Cub Scout den leader. It isnt my regular job, it is a volunteer commitment. My kids wanted to do Cub Scouts and a den leader is necessary for every age. So I volunteered to be the den leader for one of them. I was background checked and have had to do youth protection training. I have also volunteered with the PTA and know many parents who volunteer as coaches, etc.

When your kiddo gets older you will realize that most activities, like the PTA, youth sports, scouts, etc. dont happen without parent volunteers. So we volunteer bc our love of our kids and our desire for them to be able to do an activity they love outweighs the annoyance factor inherent in any large group of children.

Assuming you’re a man. If so, men using the term kiddo unironically is a red flag to me. Not joking.

NP here.
I hate to say, ‘my kids’ for my own; and actually, most teacher/leaders use ‘kids’ to refer to your kids anyway, so it can be confusing. I don’t say children, sounds old fashioned.
I have all girls, but for boys or boys + girls, I say kiddos.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:What about teachers? I'm so tired of people thinking the lot of us are "indoctrinating" or maybe pedophiles.

Because a lot of male teachers are actually pedophiles, but for some reason don’t get tarred with a broad brush like priests and Boy Scout leaders. I think it has a lot to do with the fact that teachers unions are left leaning and the Catholic Church and Boy Scouts are more often more conservative so it’s politically expedient for some to cast doubts about men in the Catholic Church and Boy Scours but not men in the public schools.

And before someone interjects and claims that public school systems and unions don’t hide abuse and don’t shelter abusers, they have and they do.

[Anonymous]

It’s interesting that it’s commonly accepted, and the right thing to do, to not to blame all Muslims for 9/11, expect all black people in the inner city to be criminals, not treat all immigrants as if they don’t speak English - but it’s totally cool to have a prejudice against men because most sexual predators are men. Strange.

[Anonymous]

Children are most likely to be hurt by someone in their own family. Fathers, uncles, grandfather's, and close family friends are the people to be wary of. Obviously, many in those roles are not abusers but some are.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Im a Cub Scout den leader. It isnt my regular job, it is a volunteer commitment. My kids wanted to do Cub Scouts and a den leader is necessary for every age. So I volunteered to be the den leader for one of them. I was background checked and have had to do youth protection training. I have also volunteered with the PTA and know many parents who volunteer as coaches, etc.

When your kiddo gets older you will realize that most activities, like the PTA, youth sports, scouts, etc. dont happen without parent volunteers. So we volunteer bc our love of our kids and our desire for them to be able to do an activity they love outweighs the annoyance factor inherent in any large group of children.

Assuming you’re a man. If so, men using the term kiddo unironically is a red flag to me. Not joking.

not the poster you’re responding too, but you need serious help.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:What about teachers? I'm so tired of people thinking the lot of us are "indoctrinating" or maybe pedophiles.

Because a lot of male teachers are actually pedophiles, but for some reason don’t get tarred with a broad brush like priests and Boy Scout leaders. I think it has a lot to do with the fact that teachers unions are left leaning and the Catholic Church and Boy Scouts are more often more conservative so it’s politically expedient for some to cast doubts about men in the Catholic Church and Boy Scours but not men in the public schools.

And before someone interjects and claims that public school systems and unions don’t hide abuse and don’t shelter abusers, they have and they do.

female teacher of the year just got charged for sleeping with a student, so there’s that

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:What about teachers? I'm so tired of people thinking the lot of us are "indoctrinating" or maybe pedophiles.

Because a lot of male teachers are actually pedophiles, but for some reason don’t get tarred with a broad brush like priests and Boy Scout leaders. I think it has a lot to do with the fact that teachers unions are left leaning and the Catholic Church and Boy Scouts are more often more conservative so it’s politically expedient for some to cast doubts about men in the Catholic Church and Boy Scours but not men in the public schools.

And before someone interjects and claims that public school systems and unions don’t hide abuse and don’t shelter abusers, they have and they do.

female teacher of the year just got charged for sleeping with a student, so there’s that

in California

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Children are most likely to be hurt by someone in their own family. Fathers, uncles, grandfather's, and close family friends are the people to be wary of. Obviously, many in those roles are not abusers but some are.

people seem to skip over that very important part but you’re right.

[Anonymous]

I think it's completely valid to avoid choosing a man for a babysitter, and men really shouldn't take offense to that. But that's very different from being suspicious of any man who chooses to work with kids. If you think there is something wrong with men who choose to be camp counselors, swim teachers, elementary teachers, pediatric nurses, etc. then I do think that is based less on a reasonable precaution and more on the sexist idea that men shouldn't be caring for children that some women subconsciously hold (and yes women can hold sexist ideas, obviously).

Of course in OP's case this is moot because she has anxiety about all genders caring for kids.