Are you suspicious of people who chose to work with kids?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I think it's creepy, yes. Just like how I find male gymnastics coaches creepy. And male nanny's creepy. And male aides in SN classrooms creepy.

Sexism is alive and well.

If it’s sexism if it’s based on fact? Sorry. 95% of sexual predators are men.

If you want to prove you aren’t a misandrist and sacrifice your kids to a male caregiver go for it.

I’ll wear whatever label you want me to label and have protected kids.

Actually, there are MANY women too. Most go undetected because if sexism like yours. You just THINK you are protecting your children. Good luck to them!

[Anonymous]

No, not as a general rule. I have gotten a sketchy vibe from a handful of teachers and coaches over the years that just told me "don't leave your kid alone with this person" and I've followed my gut on those with no regrets.

But I've also met so many amazing teachers, coaches, camp counselors, etc., who clearly simply love children and find working with them very rewarding. Including men and including people who don't have kids of their own.

There are people in the world who have bad impulses around children (whether sexual or controlling or violent) and you do have to be on the lookout for anything like this. But it's not the default. Most people who work with kids just like kids or really love whatever it is they teach or coach and have found it rewarding to share it with kids.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I think it's creepy, yes. Just like how I find male gymnastics coaches creepy. And male nanny's creepy. And male aides in SN classrooms creepy.

Sexism is alive and well.

If it’s sexism if it’s based on fact? Sorry. 95% of sexual predators are men.

If you want to prove you aren’t a misandrist and sacrifice your kids to a male caregiver go for it.

I’ll wear whatever label you want me to label and have protected kids.

Tell me you have girls without saying you have girls.

Of rather, I hope you only have girls. No boy needs to grow up with a mom thinking he's a sexual predator.

[Anonymous]

Other than daycare and school, I find most kid activities now require parents to be there until around middle school age. There just aren't many men in these fields, and while we all know women can abuse children, that just isn't the stereotype. In general, I haven't been suspicious but my guard comes up if someone tries to be alone with the kids. My sibling was abused by his baseball coach in the late 1970s/early 1980s when I think it was far more common for coaches to be alone with kids.

[Anonymous]

I worked as a nanny for 15 years. I chose that career because I like working with children. In the DMV, I made a good salary and had better terms and flexibility than I would've had in other jobs. When I became a mom, I made the decision the sah because I do nit trust anyone to be able to care for my kids as well as I (or their father) could. I do not question the motives of women who work in childhood, but I definitely question the males who do. I don't care if it's sexist, either.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:OP - your post says more about YOU than you realize. Please, for the sake of your child, get professional help.

+1
And I want to know who people like you are to keep them away from my children. Who knows what you will be thinking when someone sleeps over at your house. Yuck. If your brain is thinking this of other people it's because you are projecting your desires.

[Anonymous]

No except in the case of priests and non fathers running Boy Scouts.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I think it's creepy, yes. Just like how I find male gymnastics coaches creepy. And male nanny's creepy. And male aides in SN classrooms creepy.

Sexism is alive and well.

If it’s sexism if it’s based on fact? Sorry. 95% of sexual predators are men.

If you want to prove you aren’t a misandrist and sacrifice your kids to a male caregiver go for it.

I’ll wear whatever label you want me to label and have protected kids.

Actually, there are MANY women too. Most go undetected because if sexism like yours. You just THINK you are protecting your children. Good luck to them!

+1, I was sexually assaulted by a female coach. People didn't believe me because she was a woman and they thought I must have "misunderstood." I do think there is more female-perpetrated sexual assault than we realize because it doesn't get reported or, even if reported, accusers are not believed. I've read that this is also true for workplace harassment -- women harass more than gets reported because people are embarrassed to report harassment from a woman or reports are quickly dismissed as not credible.

There is also some gender normative stuff that goes on -- female aggressors are more likely to assault/harass other women (it makes sense, people looking for victims will target one who is physically weaker and who is unlikely to be believed). I think my assault was dismissed in part because both parties were female and that made it seem unimportant to others, like some kind of mean girl incident instead of a criminal assault, which is what it was.

[Anonymous]

So I work in LE and see and hear all sorts of stuff.I am also a paranoid person and think anyone has the potential to be a pedophile. Not literally like we all do, but in the sense that I don’t know what people think about behind the facade and you just never know. BUT I don’t let it impact my kids social life. I’ve talked to her about red flags, I’ve gone over scenarios with her, she knows to not change in front of other people etc etc…… OP you need to protect your kid as best you can by giving them age appropriate knowledge. Not keeping them in a bubble.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I think it's creepy, yes. Just like how I find male gymnastics coaches creepy. And male nanny's creepy. And male aides in SN classrooms creepy.

Sexism is alive and well.

If it’s sexism if it’s based on fact? Sorry. 95% of sexual predators are men.

If you want to prove you aren’t a misandrist and sacrifice your kids to a male caregiver go for it.

I’ll wear whatever label you want me to label and have protected kids.

But 95% of men are not sexual predators. Do you think your husband is? Frankly he is the one most likely to abuse your child’s, statistically speaking.

You’re right. Which is why I don’t have one.

[Anonymous]

OP trust your instincts. Daycare sucks and it does attract some bad people, I don't mean actively bad, just often useless and inattentive.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Im a Cub Scout den leader. It isnt my regular job, it is a volunteer commitment. My kids wanted to do Cub Scouts and a den leader is necessary for every age. So I volunteered to be the den leader for one of them. I was background checked and have had to do youth protection training. I have also volunteered with the PTA and know many parents who volunteer as coaches, etc.

When your kiddo gets older you will realize that most activities, like the PTA, youth sports, scouts, etc. dont happen without parent volunteers. So we volunteer bc our love of our kids and our desire for them to be able to do an activity they love outweighs the annoyance factor inherent in any large group of children.

I trust other parents much more than I do people without kids.

I get how parents are forced into interacting with other peoples kids for their own kids.

Sometimes people work with kids because they wanted kids of their own but for whatever reason couldn't. So this is their way to get their "parenting" urge scratched.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I think it's creepy, yes. Just like how I find male gymnastics coaches creepy. And male nanny's creepy. And male aides in SN classrooms creepy.

Sexism is alive and well.

If it’s sexism if it’s based on fact? Sorry. 95% of sexual predators are men.

If you want to prove you aren’t a misandrist and sacrifice your kids to a male caregiver go for it.

I’ll wear whatever label you want me to label and have protected kids.

Actually, there are MANY women too. Most go undetected because if sexism like yours. You just THINK you are protecting your children. Good luck to them!

+1, I was sexually assaulted by a female coach. People didn't believe me because she was a woman and they thought I must have "misunderstood." I do think there is more female-perpetrated sexual assault than we realize because it doesn't get reported or, even if reported, accusers are not believed. I've read that this is also true for workplace harassment -- women harass more than gets reported because people are embarrassed to report harassment from a woman or reports are quickly dismissed as not credible.

There is also some gender normative stuff that goes on -- female aggressors are more likely to assault/harass other women (it makes sense, people looking for victims will target one who is physically weaker and who is unlikely to be believed). I think my assault was dismissed in part because both parties were female and that made it seem unimportant to others, like some kind of mean girl incident instead of a criminal assault, which is what it was.

I said 95% not all. You were assaulted by that 5% unfortunately.

I personally don’t trust my kid with anyone. Not even my own parents. Never worth the risk.

[Anonymous]

It's important to be aware that sometime people with bad intentions do seek out time with kids, but mistrusting everyone is no way to go through life. If some single guy who loves baseball wants to coach a little league team, I'm all for it. Better him than me! I'll just be off to the side keeping an eye on things.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Im a Cub Scout den leader. It isnt my regular job, it is a volunteer commitment. My kids wanted to do Cub Scouts and a den leader is necessary for every age. So I volunteered to be the den leader for one of them. I was background checked and have had to do youth protection training. I have also volunteered with the PTA and know many parents who volunteer as coaches, etc.

When your kiddo gets older you will realize that most activities, like the PTA, youth sports, scouts, etc. dont happen without parent volunteers. So we volunteer bc our love of our kids and our desire for them to be able to do an activity they love outweighs the annoyance factor inherent in any large group of children.

I trust other parents much more than I do people without kids.

I get how parents are forced into interacting with other peoples kids for their own kids.

Sometimes people work with kids because they wanted kids of their own but for whatever reason couldn't. So this is their way to get their "parenting" urge scratched.

But they aren’t parents and they aren’t their kids. Therefor they cannot truly love and care for these kids.