Men, do you care if your wife puts effort into her appearance?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:
The men I know well (my husband, my best friends' husbands, my father, other male relatives) do not particularly appreciate make-up, and have said so on several occasions over the years. They view it as artificial stuff plastered on to their wives' and daughters' faces that shouldn't be there. However, they want their wives to exercise, be fit, and find flattering clothes, because obviously they're not insensible to how their figures look! My husband expressed multiple times that he likes it when I show I have an hourglass figure. He's happy when I commit to an exercise regimen and eat healthy, and he tries to do the same.

I'm sure none of these men would actually notice if their wives wore the "natural" make-up look! You know, with products that subtly enhance their face but without visible signs of make-up. It's useful when women have a bad week, look haggard and need to look a little fresher. But the notion that I have "stuff on my face", especially lipstick, makes my husband not want to kiss me. He's OK with eyeshadow on nights out, because he's not kissing my eyelids, and the glitter eyeshadow does look kind of fun

Lots of men say that about makeup, and all it does it convince me how much men do not understand what they are looking at.

Yeah a guy friend once told me he likes women who don't wear makeup like me. I looked at him like he had 2 heads. I wear full foundation daily, mascara, eyebrow makeup, blush... the only thing I don't wear is eyeshadow. So I guess because he didn't see weird eyeshadow colors he thought I didn't wear makeup.

There was a guy at work I’m friends with saying this about a mutual acquaintance and about how she doesn’t dye her hair either. When I said she does dye her very blond hair and that she wore makeup, he literally did not believe me. It’s the “halo” effect—because she is attractive he simply could not believe that she would do something abhorrent to him like dye her hair and wear makeup. It was unbelievable.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:The OP asked men if they cared if their wives put in effort into their appearance.

But many of the responses are from women that basically say: "I'm kinda chubby, but not fat, and my husband tells me I'm attractive. And sometimes Steve from the office gives admiring glances. Therefore, I am giving myself permission to stay frumpy."

Women are allowed to be themselves, and are valid as people, even if you think they’re frumpy.

Women, you do not need to attain a certain level of beauty to be acceptable as a person.

You sound fat.

Stop being fat.

NP. Stop being an incel.

Tomorrow morning, I won't be an incel, but you'll still be fat.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:The OP asked men if they cared if their wives put in effort into their appearance.

But many of the responses are from women that basically say: "I'm kinda chubby, but not fat, and my husband tells me I'm attractive. And sometimes Steve from the office gives admiring glances. Therefore, I am giving myself permission to stay frumpy."

Women are allowed to be themselves, and are valid as people, even if you think they’re frumpy.

Women, you do not need to attain a certain level of beauty to be acceptable as a person.

You sound fat.

Stop being fat.

NP. Stop being an incel.

Tomorrow morning, I won't be an incel, but you'll still be fat.

I'm not fat. And you'll never know the touch of a woman- youre an incel for life.

[Anonymous]

Let me get this straight. Women keep starting threads asking what guys want in a woman and then when guys respond we inevitably get the fatty defense force on full assault mode. The men are told they couldn't possibly dislike fat women even if they are well taken care of and then it devolves into a "u fat" vs "u incel" argument. Eventually multiple women conclude that they don't care what men think anyway. If you don't want to hear that most men don't like fat women, which is well demonstrated by large sample survey evidence, then don't start threads asking what men like.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

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Anonymous wrote:Stay thin and in shape, but it doesn’t matter what you wear around the house. Any man would take that over a chunky woman who dresses up with makeup.

Not all men like skinny minnies

+1

I am 6’4” muscular 255 lbs. Skinny woman do nothing for me.

5’4” - 135-155 with curves is ideal.

That's still well within a healthy range for a woman of that height. So you like healthy women with curves, not overweight women who claim to be curvy.

Im 5'4, 140lbs, 38, 31, 38 and wear a size 6 pants. Id like to lose 10 lbs but I'm active and definitely not fat, just normal.

Size 6 doesn't allow a 31 inch waist. A size 6 would cause a muffin top.

PP with 31 inch waist (can’t believe I just typed that omg). I def do wear a size 6, just bought the pace skirt from lululemon in that size and align leggings in a 6. I tried 8s in both and they were way too big and stretchy. Its just my body type.

Maybe I need to measure my waist again? Maybe I’m measuring wrong? Idk y’all. Now im having an existential crisis. Thanks a lot dcum.

I’m also a size 6 with 31” waist

I’m a size 6 with a 30” waist. (NP)

Np. I’m a size 6 with a 28” waist. I don’t think every brand fits the same, people. Usually size 6 fits me best. Sometimes I can wear a size 4 sometimes size 8 is the best fit.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Let me get this straight. Women keep starting threads asking what guys want in a woman and then when guys respond we inevitably get the fatty defense force on full assault mode. The men are told they couldn't possibly dislike fat women even if they are well taken care of and then it devolves into a "u fat" vs "u incel" argument. Eventually multiple women conclude that they don't care what men think anyway. If you don't want to hear that most men don't like fat women, which is well demonstrated by large sample survey evidence, then don't start threads asking what men like.

That's because 1) you dont speak for all men 2) women can anecdotally see the kind of women men seem to pick for relationships and it's definitely not all thin women 3) women dont really want attention from ALL men. Women want attention from high value, socially well adjusted men. The "men" who hang out on a mom forum berating women for their weight and calling random women they've never seen "fatty" certainly dont qualify. Most women would have literal nightmares about ending up with that kind of guy, and would rather be alone for hundreds of years than be yoked to a man who engages in that behavior. So yeah...their opinions just dont matter to us or do the opposite, lol.

[Anonymous]

Nope.

I love DW and I still remember what she looks like at her best even when she hasn't wiped the morning crust off of her face.

Besides, she's naturally beautiful and is aging like a fine wine. That helps.

[Anonymous]

That's because 1) you dont speak for all men 2) women can anecdotally see the kind of women men seem to pick for relationships and it's definitely not all thin women 3) women dont really want attention from ALL men. Women want attention from high value, socially well adjusted men. The "men" who hang out on a mom forum berating women for their weight and calling random women they've never seen "fatty" certainly dont qualify. Most women would have literal nightmares about ending up with that kind of guy, and would rather be alone for hundreds of years than be yoked to a man who engages in that behavior. So yeah...their opinions just dont matter to us or do the opposite, lol.

Honey, the title says "DCUM Moms and Dads." The only time you see posters invoke the "this is a forum for moms" is when they (read that as you) get called out on a post.

BTW - You don't speak for all women. You may only speak for the women who do not know how to use an apostrophe.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Stay thin and in shape, but it doesn’t matter what you wear around the house. Any man would take that over a chunky woman who dresses up with makeup.

That last sentence just isn’t true. What is it with the posters who constantly state that no man could possibly prefer a heavier woman to a thinner woman.

Not PP but somehow having had this idea of thin=beautiful drilled into my head every day throughout my formative years makes it impossible to deprogram from my thinking, even if I know some men state they have different preferences. I don't comment this kind of stuff, but I think it, try to convince myself otherwise, and can't. It seems impossible given the context of my coming of age years. Still working on it.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

That's because 1) you dont speak for all men 2) women can anecdotally see the kind of women men seem to pick for relationships and it's definitely not all thin women 3) women dont really want attention from ALL men. Women want attention from high value, socially well adjusted men. The "men" who hang out on a mom forum berating women for their weight and calling random women they've never seen "fatty" certainly dont qualify. Most women would have literal nightmares about ending up with that kind of guy, and would rather be alone for hundreds of years than be yoked to a man who engages in that behavior. So yeah...their opinions just dont matter to us or do the opposite, lol.

Honey, the title says "DCUM Moms and Dads." The only time you see posters invoke the "this is a forum for moms" is when they (read that as you) get called out on a post.

BTW - You don't speak for all women. You may only speak for the women who do not know how to use an apostrophe.

it is a mom forum. hence why "dads" is minimized. And men who spent hours arguing with women online are low value regardless of where they do it. It's cringe.

[Anonymous]

I'm a white dude, but Sir Mix-a-Lot hit the nail on the head talking about women with "an L.A. face and an Oakland booty."

So, thin and slim doesn't really capture what I want in a woman. And, yeah, some make up doesn't hurt.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:The OP asked men if they cared if their wives put in effort into their appearance.

But many of the responses are from women that basically say: "I'm kinda chubby, but not fat, and my husband tells me I'm attractive. And sometimes Steve from the office gives admiring glances. Therefore, I am giving myself permission to stay frumpy."

Women are allowed to be themselves, and are valid as people, even if you think they’re frumpy.

Women, you do not need to attain a certain level of beauty to be acceptable as a person.

You sound fat.

Stop being fat.

NP. Stop being an incel.

Tomorrow morning, I won't be an incel, but you'll still be fat.

I'm not fat. And you'll never know the touch of a woman- youre an incel for life.

Infinitely easier for any incel to get a woman than for you to stop being fat.

[Anonymous]

Mine just cares if I'm happy to get naked and in bed with him. Seriously. He doesn't notice much else physically. We're happy.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Mine just cares if I'm happy to get naked and in bed with him. Seriously. He doesn't notice much else physically. We're happy.

Thanks be to mercy for a little connubial warmth. Every so often on TikTok I run across the account of Broadway performer Mandy Patinkin and his wife - that’s the sort of relationship women long for at 70. A home filled with books, humor and quirky conversation over a glass of wine whilst making dinner together. A man that becomes less politically conservative with age and loves you and your grey hair and slightly podgy body.

[Anonymous]

Honey, the title says "DCUM Moms and Dads." The only time you see posters invoke the "this is a forum for moms" is when they (read that as you) get called out on a post.

BTW - You don't speak for all women. You may only speak for the women who do not know how to use an apostrophe.

it is a mom forum. hence why "dads" is minimized. And men who spent hours arguing with women online are low value regardless of where they do it. It's cringe.

You should take two more semesters of "Intro to Basic English Grammar" at NoVA, sweetheart. Focus on capitalization and subject/verb agreement.

Put your swill from Total Wine down, and pay attention to what you are writing. Drunk and stupid is no way to go through life.