New observation: Men now want high earning women

[Anonymous]

I don't know that having more money makes for successful children.
I guess none of you know people who grew up with money because there is ample evidence that a surprising number of them have no drive, no motivation despite going to the highest rated privates.

[Anonymous]

I'm a guy who dated college girls in college, waitresses when I was a bartender, beach bunnies when I spent a year surfing, and then law students when I was in law school. Why did I marry the law student? She was hot, smart, and kind. But a poor student at the time, just like me. Her future income potential never entered my mind, it was more like my wild days were over and it was time to settle down.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:I'm a guy who dated college girls in college, waitresses when I was a bartender, beach bunnies when I spent a year surfing, and then law students when I was in law school. Why did I marry the law student? She was hot, smart, and kind. But a poor student at the time, just like me. Her future income potential never entered my mind, it was more like my wild days were over and it was time to settle down.

You are 70 years old, and have been out of the dating world for a long time.

[Anonymous]

I know one couple like this but the man is a total loser with literally no career or drive to amount to much of anything besides a sack of potatoes, while the wife runs everything. I find it a strange dynamic.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:It’s the ‘20s. Men are absolutely looking for high wage earning women. Women have been seeking out men who earn more for century, it should be no surprise that ultimately men we’re going to do the same.


Welcome to the mid but we’re in the mid 20s, ladies!

The big question is whether or not men are now going to do half the childcare, cooking, and housework. Based on my observations it seems like marriage has less and less to offer women, but we shall see.

That is the problem. Men now want it all. They want a high earner for a wife AND they still expect the wife to do all of this other work. This is why I am divorced. I do not think marriage offers any benefit. It offered me zero.

+1 back to those physician moms. Not only are they working less than their physician spouses to care for the children, they are harried off their feet trying to be super mom volunteering in school while working their jobs. i see surgeon mom in school but never surgeon dad. ER mom cuts down to three days a week at her job while ER dad takes on two jobs and travel. so now they are all burdened with work school and childcare. i rather be mansion mom who lunches and plays tennis, life seems easier.

+1 I tell my daughters not to go into medicine. The education costs are astronomical, the average salaries aren't high these days, there's little WFH flexibility, and you're going a million miles per hour during your shift. The two female doctors who I know really well have it rough. Both of them had to drop down to part time just to keep their families afloat. Now they don't earn much. One of them has a husband who does help with the kids, but he's not a high earner. He has family money though so they're doing fine. The other has a physician spouse who concentrates on his career. The wife is a great mother but she handles the house and kid stuff and she's just going, going, going all day every day.

Kind of a sidebar, but I also warn my girls not to go into low-paying fields. The whole spend hundreds of thousands of dollars and 11+ years of education to earn less than they could with an easy WFH job is for the trust fund set. Same with many nonprofit jobs. Those are for the trust fund kids or people with wealthy spouses. Prestigious with low pay isn't for most of us.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I have a much younger sister in her early thirties and she and nearly all of her friends are SAHM’s to men working good professional jobs. Looking at the housing turnover in my neighborhood this seems to be the case there too. So I’m not sure if your theory is accurate.

+1. A man making really good money doesn't care if his wife makes money. He is looking for a woman who will be a great mother to his children and build a legacy. A tale as old as time.

+1

It's funny listening to women tell men about what they are looking for in a woman. Yes, many younger guys seek out women who have a decent income. They do this because most of these guys are broke. They are simply being practical. But guys don't care about how smart you are or if you're educated. And when guys have money, it's all about looks and personality.

I don’t know what investment you have in this narrative, but it’s not true. And you clearly are old and don’t know young men. We are living in a dual income society, even at the top. Young men want and need peers so they come out on top.

The older male partners at my firm all have SAH wives, and I had a higher HHI than them, even before my husband made partner. It’s awkward to be richer than your bosses, and young men see the writing on the wall and don’t want to live like that.

Lady, you have no idea what you are talking about. I couldn't imagine telling a woman about what women really want . Your little world obviously revolves around striver types at law firms whose main goal in life is to make as much money as possible. Those people are in no way representative of guys in general.

We aren't talking about guys in general. Most guys are losers who will never amount to much. The guys with the high earning wives are also high earning themselves. What are your deep insights into those particular pairings? Because you seem totally out of touch and clueless with those types of couples.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I have a much younger sister in her early thirties and she and nearly all of her friends are SAHM’s to men working good professional jobs. Looking at the housing turnover in my neighborhood this seems to be the case there too. So I’m not sure if your theory is accurate.

+1. A man making really good money doesn't care if his wife makes money. He is looking for a woman who will be a great mother to his children and build a legacy. A tale as old as time.

+1

It's funny listening to women tell men about what they are looking for in a woman. Yes, many younger guys seek out women who have a decent income. They do this because most of these guys are broke. They are simply being practical. But guys don't care about how smart you are or if you're educated. And when guys have money, it's all about looks and personality.

I don’t know what investment you have in this narrative, but it’s not true. And you clearly are old and don’t know young men. We are living in a dual income society, even at the top. Young men want and need peers so they come out on top.

The older male partners at my firm all have SAH wives, and I had a higher HHI than them, even before my husband made partner. It’s awkward to be richer than your bosses, and young men see the writing on the wall and don’t want to live like that.

Lady, you have no idea what you are talking about. I couldn't imagine telling a woman about what women really want . Your little world obviously revolves around striver types at law firms whose main goal in life is to make as much money as possible. Those people are in no way representative of guys in general.

We aren't talking about guys in general. Most guys are losers who will never amount to much. The guys with the high earning wives are also high earning themselves. What are your deep insights into those particular pairings? Because you seem totally out of touch and clueless with those types of couples.

But plenty of people have pointed out to you that is not true. In fact the higher earning the guy is the more likely his high educated yet very attractive wife quits her job to stay home with kids. You keep glossing over that to foster your narrative and that’s not true.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I have a much younger sister in her early thirties and she and nearly all of her friends are SAHM’s to men working good professional jobs. Looking at the housing turnover in my neighborhood this seems to be the case there too. So I’m not sure if your theory is accurate.

+1. A man making really good money doesn't care if his wife makes money. He is looking for a woman who will be a great mother to his children and build a legacy. A tale as old as time.

+1

It's funny listening to women tell men about what they are looking for in a woman. Yes, many younger guys seek out women who have a decent income. They do this because most of these guys are broke. They are simply being practical. But guys don't care about how smart you are or if you're educated. And when guys have money, it's all about looks and personality.

I don’t know what investment you have in this narrative, but it’s not true. And you clearly are old and don’t know young men. We are living in a dual income society, even at the top. Young men want and need peers so they come out on top.

The older male partners at my firm all have SAH wives, and I had a higher HHI than them, even before my husband made partner. It’s awkward to be richer than your bosses, and young men see the writing on the wall and don’t want to live like that.

Lady, you have no idea what you are talking about. I couldn't imagine telling a woman about what women really want . Your little world obviously revolves around striver types at law firms whose main goal in life is to make as much money as possible. Those people are in no way representative of guys in general.

We aren't talking about guys in general. Most guys are losers who will never amount to much. The guys with the high earning wives are also high earning themselves. What are your deep insights into those particular pairings? Because you seem totally out of touch and clueless with those types of couples.

In fact it’s the lower earning guys that need the second income for life to be comfortable. The highest earning guys prioritize other things since money is no longer an issue.

[Anonymous]

A random google on the issue and this pops up from 2021

https://www.sciencedirect.com/science/article/abs/pii/S1090513821000222

Because of assortative mating, well-educated women with higher earning capability are more likely to marry well educated men with higher earning capability (Kalmijn, 1998). However, life history theory suggests that women in particular may tradeoff resource acquisition and child bearing and child raising (Kaplan & Lancaster, 2003) and so may reduce their income earning activities after having children. Thus it is hypothesized that (10) high earning women are more likely than low earning women to be childless, and (11) if they have children and divorce, are less likely to have children with new partners.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:It’s the ‘20s. Men are absolutely looking for high wage earning women. Women have been seeking out men who earn more for century, it should be no surprise that ultimately men we’re going to do the same.


Welcome to the mid but we’re in the mid 20s, ladies!

The big question is whether or not men are now going to do half the childcare, cooking, and housework. Based on my observations it seems like marriage has less and less to offer women, but we shall see.

That is the problem. Men now want it all. They want a high earner for a wife AND they still expect the wife to do all of this other work. This is why I am divorced. I do not think marriage offers any benefit. It offered me zero.

+1 back to those physician moms. Not only are they working less than their physician spouses to care for the children, they are harried off their feet trying to be super mom volunteering in school while working their jobs. i see surgeon mom in school but never surgeon dad. ER mom cuts down to three days a week at her job while ER dad takes on two jobs and travel. so now they are all burdened with work school and childcare. i rather be mansion mom who lunches and plays tennis, life seems easier.

+1 I tell my daughters not to go into medicine. The education costs are astronomical, the average salaries aren't high these days, there's little WFH flexibility, and you're going a million miles per hour during your shift. The two female doctors who I know really well have it rough. Both of them had to drop down to part time just to keep their families afloat. Now they don't earn much. One of them has a husband who does help with the kids, but he's not a high earner. He has family money though so they're doing fine. The other has a physician spouse who concentrates on his career. The wife is a great mother but she handles the house and kid stuff and she's just going, going, going all day every day.

Kind of a sidebar, but I also warn my girls not to go into low-paying fields. The whole spend hundreds of thousands of dollars and 11+ years of education to earn less than they could with an easy WFH job is for the trust fund set. Same with many nonprofit jobs. Those are for the trust fund kids or people with wealthy spouses. Prestigious with low pay isn't for most of us.

Actually don’t be too down on medicine for your daughters. I have noticed that in other high flying lucrative professions such as law or banking or consulting many women quit after children, especially if they have high income husbands. The doctors return however. I have thought about it and I think it’s because medicine can be quite flexible depending on the specialty. Like I see the female doctors working less days. The paying your dues and insane hours happen more in your youth, but once you become an attending it’s easier to control hours. Also asides from continuing education it seems easier for doctors to return to the work force after taking time off vs other professions where you become obsolete if you don’t keep one foot in. The girl just has to be smart about the speciality, there is a reason why most dermatologists are women.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:A random google on the issue and this pops up from 2021

https://www.sciencedirect.com/science/article/abs/pii/S1090513821000222

Because of assortative mating, well-educated women with higher earning capability are more likely to marry well educated men with higher earning capability (Kalmijn, 1998). However, life history theory suggests that women in particular may tradeoff resource acquisition and child bearing and child raising (Kaplan & Lancaster, 2003) and so may reduce their income earning activities after having children. Thus it is hypothesized that (10) high earning women are more likely than low earning women to be childless, and (11) if they have children and divorce, are less likely to have children with new partners.

Women who never want children spend more time on their career. That falls in the no duh category

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:A random google on the issue and this pops up from 2021

https://www.sciencedirect.com/science/article/abs/pii/S1090513821000222

Because of assortative mating, well-educated women with higher earning capability are more likely to marry well educated men with higher earning capability (Kalmijn, 1998). However, life history theory suggests that women in particular may tradeoff resource acquisition and child bearing and child raising (Kaplan & Lancaster, 2003) and so may reduce their income earning activities after having children. Thus it is hypothesized that (10) high earning women are more likely than low earning women to be childless, and (11) if they have children and divorce, are less likely to have children with new partners.

Women who never want children spend more time on their career. That falls in the no duh category

You are talking about what men want, and especially high income men. Turns out they want highly educated women but income is not an issue especially after kids. There’s an actual study on this. Turns out high income women aren’t as in demand after divorce unlike high income men.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:A random google on the issue and this pops up from 2021

https://www.sciencedirect.com/science/article/abs/pii/S1090513821000222

Because of assortative mating, well-educated women with higher earning capability are more likely to marry well educated men with higher earning capability (Kalmijn, 1998). However, life history theory suggests that women in particular may tradeoff resource acquisition and child bearing and child raising (Kaplan & Lancaster, 2003) and so may reduce their income earning activities after having children. Thus it is hypothesized that (10) high earning women are more likely than low earning women to be childless, and (11) if they have children and divorce, are less likely to have children with new partners.

Women who never want children spend more time on their career. That falls in the no duh category

You are talking about what men want, and especially high income men. Turns out they want highly educated women but income is not an issue especially after kids. There’s an actual study on this. Turns out high income women aren’t as in demand after divorce unlike high income men.

High income women are less likely to have kids after divorce not because they aren’t in demand, but because they don’t want to have multiple baby daddies for their kids. They want to put more resources into a fewer number of children.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I have a much younger sister in her early thirties and she and nearly all of her friends are SAHM’s to men working good professional jobs. Looking at the housing turnover in my neighborhood this seems to be the case there too. So I’m not sure if your theory is accurate.

+1. A man making really good money doesn't care if his wife makes money. He is looking for a woman who will be a great mother to his children and build a legacy. A tale as old as time.

+1

It's funny listening to women tell men about what they are looking for in a woman. Yes, many younger guys seek out women who have a decent income. They do this because most of these guys are broke. They are simply being practical. But guys don't care about how smart you are or if you're educated. And when guys have money, it's all about looks and personality.

I don’t know what investment you have in this narrative, but it’s not true. And you clearly are old and don’t know young men. We are living in a dual income society, even at the top. Young men want and need peers so they come out on top.

The older male partners at my firm all have SAH wives, and I had a higher HHI than them, even before my husband made partner. It’s awkward to be richer than your bosses, and young men see the writing on the wall and don’t want to live like that.

Lady, you have no idea what you are talking about. I couldn't imagine telling a woman about what women really want . Your little world obviously revolves around striver types at law firms whose main goal in life is to make as much money as possible. Those people are in no way representative of guys in general.

We aren't talking about guys in general. Most guys are losers who will never amount to much. The guys with the high earning wives are also high earning themselves. What are your deep insights into those particular pairings? Because you seem totally out of touch and clueless with those types of couples.

In fact it’s the lower earning guys that need the second income for life to be comfortable. The highest earning guys prioritize other things since money is no longer an issue.

I know you really want that to be true, but it's not.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:It’s the ‘20s. Men are absolutely looking for high wage earning women. Women have been seeking out men who earn more for century, it should be no surprise that ultimately men we’re going to do the same.


Welcome to the mid but we’re in the mid 20s, ladies!

The big question is whether or not men are now going to do half the childcare, cooking, and housework. Based on my observations it seems like marriage has less and less to offer women, but we shall see.

That is the problem. Men now want it all. They want a high earner for a wife AND they still expect the wife to do all of this other work. This is why I am divorced. I do not think marriage offers any benefit. It offered me zero.

+1 back to those physician moms. Not only are they working less than their physician spouses to care for the children, they are harried off their feet trying to be super mom volunteering in school while working their jobs. i see surgeon mom in school but never surgeon dad. ER mom cuts down to three days a week at her job while ER dad takes on two jobs and travel. so now they are all burdened with work school and childcare. i rather be mansion mom who lunches and plays tennis, life seems easier.

+1 I tell my daughters not to go into medicine. The education costs are astronomical, the average salaries aren't high these days, there's little WFH flexibility, and you're going a million miles per hour during your shift. The two female doctors who I know really well have it rough. Both of them had to drop down to part time just to keep their families afloat. Now they don't earn much. One of them has a husband who does help with the kids, but he's not a high earner. He has family money though so they're doing fine. The other has a physician spouse who concentrates on his career. The wife is a great mother but she handles the house and kid stuff and she's just going, going, going all day every day.

Kind of a sidebar, but I also warn my girls not to go into low-paying fields. The whole spend hundreds of thousands of dollars and 11+ years of education to earn less than they could with an easy WFH job is for the trust fund set. Same with many nonprofit jobs. Those are for the trust fund kids or people with wealthy spouses. Prestigious with low pay isn't for most of us.

Actually don’t be too down on medicine for your daughters. I have noticed that in other high flying lucrative professions such as law or banking or consulting many women quit after children, especially if they have high income husbands. The doctors return however. I have thought about it and I think it’s because medicine can be quite flexible depending on the specialty. Like I see the female doctors working less days. The paying your dues and insane hours happen more in your youth, but once you become an attending it’s easier to control hours. Also asides from continuing education it seems easier for doctors to return to the work force after taking time off vs other professions where you become obsolete if you don’t keep one foot in. The girl just has to be smart about the speciality, there is a reason why most dermatologists are women.

Exactly! Specialty is what matters most in medicine. My brother is a dermatologist and has a great quality of life.