New observation: Men now want high earning women

[Anonymous]

https://www.gwern.net/docs/sociology/2021-hopcroft.pdf

The study in question and back to the topic at hand and conclusions

“Income for women was either unrelated or negatively related to long term mating or success in reproduction”

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I have a much younger sister in her early thirties and she and nearly all of her friends are SAHM’s to men working good professional jobs. Looking at the housing turnover in my neighborhood this seems to be the case there too. So I’m not sure if your theory is accurate.

+1. A man making really good money doesn't care if his wife makes money. He is looking for a woman who will be a great mother to his children and build a legacy. A tale as old as time.

+1

It's funny listening to women tell men about what they are looking for in a woman. Yes, many younger guys seek out women who have a decent income. They do this because most of these guys are broke. They are simply being practical. But guys don't care about how smart you are or if you're educated. And when guys have money, it's all about looks and personality.

I don’t know what investment you have in this narrative, but it’s not true. And you clearly are old and don’t know young men. We are living in a dual income society, even at the top. Young men want and need peers so they come out on top.

The older male partners at my firm all have SAH wives, and I had a higher HHI than them, even before my husband made partner. It’s awkward to be richer than your bosses, and young men see the writing on the wall and don’t want to live like that.

Lady, you have no idea what you are talking about. I couldn't imagine telling a woman about what women really want . Your little world obviously revolves around striver types at law firms whose main goal in life is to make as much money as possible. Those people are in no way representative of guys in general.

We aren't talking about guys in general. Most guys are losers who will never amount to much. The guys with the high earning wives are also high earning themselves. What are your deep insights into those particular pairings? Because you seem totally out of touch and clueless with those types of couples.

In fact it’s the lower earning guys that need the second income for life to be comfortable. The highest earning guys prioritize other things since money is no longer an issue.

I know you really want that to be true, but it's not.

Sounds like it is rather you that wants to live in fantasyland.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I have a much younger sister in her early thirties and she and nearly all of her friends are SAHM’s to men working good professional jobs. Looking at the housing turnover in my neighborhood this seems to be the case there too. So I’m not sure if your theory is accurate.

+1. A man making really good money doesn't care if his wife makes money. He is looking for a woman who will be a great mother to his children and build a legacy. A tale as old as time.

+1

It's funny listening to women tell men about what they are looking for in a woman. Yes, many younger guys seek out women who have a decent income. They do this because most of these guys are broke. They are simply being practical. But guys don't care about how smart you are or if you're educated. And when guys have money, it's all about looks and personality.

I don’t know what investment you have in this narrative, but it’s not true. And you clearly are old and don’t know young men. We are living in a dual income society, even at the top. Young men want and need peers so they come out on top.

The older male partners at my firm all have SAH wives, and I had a higher HHI than them, even before my husband made partner. It’s awkward to be richer than your bosses, and young men see the writing on the wall and don’t want to live like that.

Lady, you have no idea what you are talking about. I couldn't imagine telling a woman about what women really want . Your little world obviously revolves around striver types at law firms whose main goal in life is to make as much money as possible. Those people are in no way representative of guys in general.

We aren't talking about guys in general. Most guys are losers who will never amount to much. The guys with the high earning wives are also high earning themselves. What are your deep insights into those particular pairings? Because you seem totally out of touch and clueless with those types of couples.

In fact it’s the lower earning guys that need the second income for life to be comfortable. The highest earning guys prioritize other things since money is no longer an issue.

How much money do you have to make for money to “no longer be an issue”? The biglaw associates I have known all still prioritized a spouse with an income.

[Anonymous]

Male here, I don’t care how much she makes. Absolutely a zero factor.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Male here, I don’t care how much she makes. Absolutely a zero factor.

Okay but how old are you?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I have a much younger sister in her early thirties and she and nearly all of her friends are SAHM’s to men working good professional jobs. Looking at the housing turnover in my neighborhood this seems to be the case there too. So I’m not sure if your theory is accurate.

+1. A man making really good money doesn't care if his wife makes money. He is looking for a woman who will be a great mother to his children and build a legacy. A tale as old as time.

+1

It's funny listening to women tell men about what they are looking for in a woman. Yes, many younger guys seek out women who have a decent income. They do this because most of these guys are broke. They are simply being practical. But guys don't care about how smart you are or if you're educated. And when guys have money, it's all about looks and personality.

I don’t know what investment you have in this narrative, but it’s not true. And you clearly are old and don’t know young men. We are living in a dual income society, even at the top. Young men want and need peers so they come out on top.

The older male partners at my firm all have SAH wives, and I had a higher HHI than them, even before my husband made partner. It’s awkward to be richer than your bosses, and young men see the writing on the wall and don’t want to live like that.

Lady, you have no idea what you are talking about. I couldn't imagine telling a woman about what women really want . Your little world obviously revolves around striver types at law firms whose main goal in life is to make as much money as possible. Those people are in no way representative of guys in general.

We aren't talking about guys in general. Most guys are losers who will never amount to much. The guys with the high earning wives are also high earning themselves. What are your deep insights into those particular pairings? Because you seem totally out of touch and clueless with those types of couples.

In fact it’s the lower earning guys that need the second income for life to be comfortable. The highest earning guys prioritize other things since money is no longer an issue.

How much money do you have to make for money to “no longer be an issue”? The biglaw associates I have known all still prioritized a spouse with an income.

I don’t know whether you are the same or different posters but a poster keeps insinuating that whoever says they don’t care about money are older. I actually think you are too young if you are talking about law associates. It is true that assortive mating means highly educated high income potential men may marry similar women of education status.

The clincher comes in when the children come. Suddenly all the women law associates start dropping out and you find more highly educated SAHMs. Two people making 200000 need the income for a UMC life. Once a man starts making 500k that consideration drops away. The woman can have that fancy degree as a status symbol but income is irrelevant. And if the lady is hideous it doesn’t matter how many degrees she has or money. It’s just the way of the world.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I have a much younger sister in her early thirties and she and nearly all of her friends are SAHM’s to men working good professional jobs. Looking at the housing turnover in my neighborhood this seems to be the case there too. So I’m not sure if your theory is accurate.

+1. A man making really good money doesn't care if his wife makes money. He is looking for a woman who will be a great mother to his children and build a legacy. A tale as old as time.

+1

It's funny listening to women tell men about what they are looking for in a woman. Yes, many younger guys seek out women who have a decent income. They do this because most of these guys are broke. They are simply being practical. But guys don't care about how smart you are or if you're educated. And when guys have money, it's all about looks and personality.

I don’t know what investment you have in this narrative, but it’s not true. And you clearly are old and don’t know young men. We are living in a dual income society, even at the top. Young men want and need peers so they come out on top.

The older male partners at my firm all have SAH wives, and I had a higher HHI than them, even before my husband made partner. It’s awkward to be richer than your bosses, and young men see the writing on the wall and don’t want to live like that.

Lady, you have no idea what you are talking about. I couldn't imagine telling a woman about what women really want . Your little world obviously revolves around striver types at law firms whose main goal in life is to make as much money as possible. Those people are in no way representative of guys in general.

We aren't talking about guys in general. Most guys are losers who will never amount to much. The guys with the high earning wives are also high earning themselves. What are your deep insights into those particular pairings? Because you seem totally out of touch and clueless with those types of couples.

In fact it’s the lower earning guys that need the second income for life to be comfortable. The highest earning guys prioritize other things since money is no longer an issue.

How much money do you have to make for money to “no longer be an issue”? The biglaw associates I have known all still prioritized a spouse with an income.

I don’t know whether you are the same or different posters but a poster keeps insinuating that whoever says they don’t care about money are older. I actually think you are too young if you are talking about law associates. It is true that assortive mating means highly educated high income potential men may marry similar women of education status.

The clincher comes in when the children come. Suddenly all the women law associates start dropping out and you find more highly educated SAHMs. Two people making 200000 need the income for a UMC life. Once a man starts making 500k that consideration drops away. The woman can have that fancy degree as a status symbol but income is irrelevant. And if the lady is hideous it doesn’t matter how many degrees she has or money. It’s just the way of the world.

I don’t see many women in dual biglaw lawyer (or lawyer-banker) couples dropping out entirely with kids. Instead they seem to go into jobs that have good quality of life but are still interesting. Lots of young partners are married to women with interesting but less demanding jobs.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I have a much younger sister in her early thirties and she and nearly all of her friends are SAHM’s to men working good professional jobs. Looking at the housing turnover in my neighborhood this seems to be the case there too. So I’m not sure if your theory is accurate.

+1. A man making really good money doesn't care if his wife makes money. He is looking for a woman who will be a great mother to his children and build a legacy. A tale as old as time.

+1

It's funny listening to women tell men about what they are looking for in a woman. Yes, many younger guys seek out women who have a decent income. They do this because most of these guys are broke. They are simply being practical. But guys don't care about how smart you are or if you're educated. And when guys have money, it's all about looks and personality.

I don’t know what investment you have in this narrative, but it’s not true. And you clearly are old and don’t know young men. We are living in a dual income society, even at the top. Young men want and need peers so they come out on top.

The older male partners at my firm all have SAH wives, and I had a higher HHI than them, even before my husband made partner. It’s awkward to be richer than your bosses, and young men see the writing on the wall and don’t want to live like that.

Lady, you have no idea what you are talking about. I couldn't imagine telling a woman about what women really want . Your little world obviously revolves around striver types at law firms whose main goal in life is to make as much money as possible. Those people are in no way representative of guys in general.

We aren't talking about guys in general. Most guys are losers who will never amount to much. The guys with the high earning wives are also high earning themselves. What are your deep insights into those particular pairings? Because you seem totally out of touch and clueless with those types of couples.

In fact it’s the lower earning guys that need the second income for life to be comfortable. The highest earning guys prioritize other things since money is no longer an issue.

How much money do you have to make for money to “no longer be an issue”? The biglaw associates I have known all still prioritized a spouse with an income.

I don’t know whether you are the same or different posters but a poster keeps insinuating that whoever says they don’t care about money are older. I actually think you are too young if you are talking about law associates. It is true that assortive mating means highly educated high income potential men may marry similar women of education status.

The clincher comes in when the children come. Suddenly all the women law associates start dropping out and you find more highly educated SAHMs. Two people making 200000 need the income for a UMC life. Once a man starts making 500k that consideration drops away. The woman can have that fancy degree as a status symbol but income is irrelevant. And if the lady is hideous it doesn’t matter how many degrees she has or money. It’s just the way of the world.

I don’t see many women in dual biglaw lawyer (or lawyer-banker) couples dropping out entirely with kids. Instead they seem to go into jobs that have good quality of life but are still interesting. Lots of young partners are married to women with interesting but less demanding jobs.

That’s also an option. Hobby jobs that are interesting but don’t make a lot of money. That doesn’t support the statement of this thread - high earning men want women with high incomes.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I'm a guy who dated college girls in college, waitresses when I was a bartender, beach bunnies when I spent a year surfing, and then law students when I was in law school. Why did I marry the law student? She was hot, smart, and kind. But a poor student at the time, just like me. Her future income potential never entered my mind, it was more like my wild days were over and it was time to settle down.

You are 70 years old, and have been out of the dating world for a long time.

Uh... I'm 41

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I have a much younger sister in her early thirties and she and nearly all of her friends are SAHM’s to men working good professional jobs. Looking at the housing turnover in my neighborhood this seems to be the case there too. So I’m not sure if your theory is accurate.

+1. A man making really good money doesn't care if his wife makes money. He is looking for a woman who will be a great mother to his children and build a legacy. A tale as old as time.

+1

It's funny listening to women tell men about what they are looking for in a woman. Yes, many younger guys seek out women who have a decent income. They do this because most of these guys are broke. They are simply being practical. But guys don't care about how smart you are or if you're educated. And when guys have money, it's all about looks and personality.

I don’t know what investment you have in this narrative, but it’s not true. And you clearly are old and don’t know young men. We are living in a dual income society, even at the top. Young men want and need peers so they come out on top.

The older male partners at my firm all have SAH wives, and I had a higher HHI than them, even before my husband made partner. It’s awkward to be richer than your bosses, and young men see the writing on the wall and don’t want to live like that.

Lady, you have no idea what you are talking about. I couldn't imagine telling a woman about what women really want . Your little world obviously revolves around striver types at law firms whose main goal in life is to make as much money as possible. Those people are in no way representative of guys in general.

We aren't talking about guys in general. Most guys are losers who will never amount to much. The guys with the high earning wives are also high earning themselves. What are your deep insights into those particular pairings? Because you seem totally out of touch and clueless with those types of couples.

In fact it’s the lower earning guys that need the second income for life to be comfortable. The highest earning guys prioritize other things since money is no longer an issue.

How much money do you have to make for money to “no longer be an issue”? The biglaw associates I have known all still prioritized a spouse with an income.

I don’t know whether you are the same or different posters but a poster keeps insinuating that whoever says they don’t care about money are older. I actually think you are too young if you are talking about law associates. It is true that assortive mating means highly educated high income potential men may marry similar women of education status.

The clincher comes in when the children come. Suddenly all the women law associates start dropping out and you find more highly educated SAHMs. Two people making 200000 need the income for a UMC life. Once a man starts making 500k that consideration drops away. The woman can have that fancy degree as a status symbol but income is irrelevant. And if the lady is hideous it doesn’t matter how many degrees she has or money. It’s just the way of the world.

I don’t see many women in dual biglaw lawyer (or lawyer-banker) couples dropping out entirely with kids. Instead they seem to go into jobs that have good quality of life but are still interesting. Lots of young partners are married to women with interesting but less demanding jobs.

That’s also an option. Hobby jobs that are interesting but don’t make a lot of money. That doesn’t support the statement of this thread - high earning men want women with high incomes.

But they do, when they're picking out a spouse. It's an insurance policy. Some of them "cash" the policy (two big fed lawyers, as an example) and some don't (SAHM with an MBA from Kellogg).

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I'm a guy who dated college girls in college, waitresses when I was a bartender, beach bunnies when I spent a year surfing, and then law students when I was in law school. Why did I marry the law student? She was hot, smart, and kind. But a poor student at the time, just like me. Her future income potential never entered my mind, it was more like my wild days were over and it was time to settle down.

You are 70 years old, and have been out of the dating world for a long time.

Uh... I'm 41

How much do you make/net worth?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I have a much younger sister in her early thirties and she and nearly all of her friends are SAHM’s to men working good professional jobs. Looking at the housing turnover in my neighborhood this seems to be the case there too. So I’m not sure if your theory is accurate.

+1. A man making really good money doesn't care if his wife makes money. He is looking for a woman who will be a great mother to his children and build a legacy. A tale as old as time.

+1

It's funny listening to women tell men about what they are looking for in a woman. Yes, many younger guys seek out women who have a decent income. They do this because most of these guys are broke. They are simply being practical. But guys don't care about how smart you are or if you're educated. And when guys have money, it's all about looks and personality.

I don’t know what investment you have in this narrative, but it’s not true. And you clearly are old and don’t know young men. We are living in a dual income society, even at the top. Young men want and need peers so they come out on top.

The older male partners at my firm all have SAH wives, and I had a higher HHI than them, even before my husband made partner. It’s awkward to be richer than your bosses, and young men see the writing on the wall and don’t want to live like that.

Lady, you have no idea what you are talking about. I couldn't imagine telling a woman about what women really want . Your little world obviously revolves around striver types at law firms whose main goal in life is to make as much money as possible. Those people are in no way representative of guys in general.

We aren't talking about guys in general. Most guys are losers who will never amount to much. The guys with the high earning wives are also high earning themselves. What are your deep insights into those particular pairings? Because you seem totally out of touch and clueless with those types of couples.

In fact it’s the lower earning guys that need the second income for life to be comfortable. The highest earning guys prioritize other things since money is no longer an issue.

How much money do you have to make for money to “no longer be an issue”? The biglaw associates I have known all still prioritized a spouse with an income.

I don’t know whether you are the same or different posters but a poster keeps insinuating that whoever says they don’t care about money are older. I actually think you are too young if you are talking about law associates. It is true that assortive mating means highly educated high income potential men may marry similar women of education status.

The clincher comes in when the children come. Suddenly all the women law associates start dropping out and you find more highly educated SAHMs. Two people making 200000 need the income for a UMC life. Once a man starts making 500k that consideration drops away. The woman can have that fancy degree as a status symbol but income is irrelevant. And if the lady is hideous it doesn’t matter how many degrees she has or money. It’s just the way of the world.

Actually, someone whose peers are biglaw associates are exactly the relevant age group to understand what is going on "now." The commenter who is 41 is probably married, divorced, or a "time waster" single old guy who is still irrelevant to the question at hand about dating trends.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Hot. High earning. Sane.

Pick two.

NP. Had to laugh at this. I married DW because she’s smoking hot and smarter than me (albeit not higher earning at the moment because she’s staying home with DC). She’s also batsh*t crazy, but I love her.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I'm a guy who dated college girls in college, waitresses when I was a bartender, beach bunnies when I spent a year surfing, and then law students when I was in law school. Why did I marry the law student? She was hot, smart, and kind. But a poor student at the time, just like me. Her future income potential never entered my mind, it was more like my wild days were over and it was time to settle down.

You are 70 years old, and have been out of the dating world for a long time.

Uh... I'm 41

How much do you make/net worth?

Nothing crazy. Together we make about 400k, which is of course huge for most people, but not big law partner money. My wife makes a little more than me. I can’t say that I am happier now then when we had nothing. More money, more stress, less freedom.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I have a much younger sister in her early thirties and she and nearly all of her friends are SAHM’s to men working good professional jobs. Looking at the housing turnover in my neighborhood this seems to be the case there too. So I’m not sure if your theory is accurate.

+1. A man making really good money doesn't care if his wife makes money. He is looking for a woman who will be a great mother to his children and build a legacy. A tale as old as time.

+1

It's funny listening to women tell men about what they are looking for in a woman. Yes, many younger guys seek out women who have a decent income. They do this because most of these guys are broke. They are simply being practical. But guys don't care about how smart you are or if you're educated. And when guys have money, it's all about looks and personality.

I don’t know what investment you have in this narrative, but it’s not true. And you clearly are old and don’t know young men. We are living in a dual income society, even at the top. Young men want and need peers so they come out on top.

The older male partners at my firm all have SAH wives, and I had a higher HHI than them, even before my husband made partner. It’s awkward to be richer than your bosses, and young men see the writing on the wall and don’t want to live like that.

Lady, you have no idea what you are talking about. I couldn't imagine telling a woman about what women really want . Your little world obviously revolves around striver types at law firms whose main goal in life is to make as much money as possible. Those people are in no way representative of guys in general.

We aren't talking about guys in general. Most guys are losers who will never amount to much. The guys with the high earning wives are also high earning themselves. What are your deep insights into those particular pairings? Because you seem totally out of touch and clueless with those types of couples.

In fact it’s the lower earning guys that need the second income for life to be comfortable. The highest earning guys prioritize other things since money is no longer an issue.

How much money do you have to make for money to “no longer be an issue”? The biglaw associates I have known all still prioritized a spouse with an income.

I don’t know whether you are the same or different posters but a poster keeps insinuating that whoever says they don’t care about money are older. I actually think you are too young if you are talking about law associates. It is true that assortive mating means highly educated high income potential men may marry similar women of education status.

The clincher comes in when the children come. Suddenly all the women law associates start dropping out and you find more highly educated SAHMs. Two people making 200000 need the income for a UMC life. Once a man starts making 500k that consideration drops away. The woman can have that fancy degree as a status symbol but income is irrelevant. And if the lady is hideous it doesn’t matter how many degrees she has or money. It’s just the way of the world.

I don’t see many women in dual biglaw lawyer (or lawyer-banker) couples dropping out entirely with kids. Instead they seem to go into jobs that have good quality of life but are still interesting. Lots of young partners are married to women with interesting but less demanding jobs.

That’s also an option. Hobby jobs that are interesting but don’t make a lot of money. That doesn’t support the statement of this thread - high earning men want women with high incomes.

Actually the OP included "potential" in that statement. That is key. I don't see a lot of highly educated successful people married to low potential uneducated spouses just because they were kind or hot and had nothing else to offer.