New observation: Men now want high earning women

[Anonymous]

That's because he already knows she's smart and accomplished, and let's face it, has the right genes to pass along. What kind of women do you think end up at Harvard alongside the men? They are already vetted and qualified as dating prospects, that counts for a lot.

Because of Harvard legacy? Preference for athletes, geographic diversity, first generation college students, URM?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

That's because he already knows she's smart and accomplished, and let's face it, has the right genes to pass along. What kind of women do you think end up at Harvard alongside the men? They are already vetted and qualified as dating prospects, that counts for a lot.

Because of Harvard legacy? Preference for athletes, geographic diversity, first generation college students, URM?

What difference does it make? Qualified is qualified.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Men want cheerful, easy-to-please and kind women who are hot. They have wanted this since time began. Women want men who are competent, generous and powerful. Everything else is noise designed to obfuscate and justify personal choices.

Assortative mating trends indicate you’re wrong.

Assortative mating is a function of proximity; you marry who you study and work with. Men marry women they attend college with, and no man at Harvard cares about the earning potential of his fiancée.

That's because he already knows she's smart and accomplished, and let's face it, has the right genes to pass along. What kind of women do you think end up at Harvard alongside the men? They are already vetted and qualified as dating prospects, that counts for a lot.

+1 a lot of men want to feel like they are marrying a peer in terms of education and profession. This describes 90% of marriages in my social circle. The real cachet is marrying an attractive woman who is also accomplished, and fits in with the guy's friends etc.

This has been going on for awhile and is hardly new.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

That's because he already knows she's smart and accomplished, and let's face it, has the right genes to pass along. What kind of women do you think end up at Harvard alongside the men? They are already vetted and qualified as dating prospects, that counts for a lot.

Because of Harvard legacy? Preference for athletes, geographic diversity, first generation college students, URM?

What difference does it make? Qualified is qualified.

Letting a college act as a dating coach is weird--especially if you understand the randomness of college admissions and the preference for some favored categories. And the entire concept of qualified in today's college admission scene odd. Many more qualified women at elite schools than admits.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:I've noticed with group of friends that men now are interested in high income women w/ high earning potential vs being with a traditional idea of a woman who wants to stay home while they earn the money. Many of my physician female friends are in high demand and all engaged or married to other physicians, engineers, lawyers, etc, despite working tons of hours and not being "available". If you think about it, this allows for more resources and a better lifestyle than a single income household. One can easily afford a nanny and housekeeper with these dual income professional salaries while still saving for retirement, college, traveling, paying private school, etc so this trumps the SAHM/breadwinner paradigm financially. It also protects against the potential swings of the economy. I grew up hearing that men wanted a "hot" wife that was attractive and available with no though to their earning potential. I think this has changed...

My observation is that men want this type of woman but still have the expectation that the woman give up her career once kids get in the picture. My neurosurgeon girlfriend is basically on the verge of divorce now three kids in for that reason and she says that all of the very few female neuros are divorced, never married, or married but childless by choice.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I have a much younger sister in her early thirties and she and nearly all of her friends are SAHM’s to men working good professional jobs. Looking at the housing turnover in my neighborhood this seems to be the case there too. So I’m not sure if your theory is accurate.

+1. A man making really good money doesn't care if his wife makes money. He is looking for a woman who will be a great mother to his children and build a legacy. A tale as old as time.

+1

It's funny listening to women tell men about what they are looking for in a woman. Yes, many younger guys seek out women who have a decent income. They do this because most of these guys are broke. They are simply being practical. But guys don't care about how smart you are or if you're educated. And when guys have money, it's all about looks and personality.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

That's because he already knows she's smart and accomplished, and let's face it, has the right genes to pass along. What kind of women do you think end up at Harvard alongside the men? They are already vetted and qualified as dating prospects, that counts for a lot.

Because of Harvard legacy? Preference for athletes, geographic diversity, first generation college students, URM?

What difference does it make? Qualified is qualified.

Letting a college act as a dating coach is weird--especially if you understand the randomness of college admissions and the preference for some favored categories. And the entire concept of qualified in today's college admission scene odd. Many more qualified women at elite schools than admits.

Whatever. People date people nearest them who also tend do be similarly educated, have the same goals and values. I guess you think it's random that people from Harvard or any other school might be dating each other. Or do you think graduates of elite schools are more likely to date graduates of the local community college if it's all a crap shoot? You don't sound like you know much first hand experience with this topic.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:It’s still about looks

Yes, but the range of looks most men will date is pretty big. I was at a conference with a group of male colleagues and we were at happy hour. They looked around the room giving each woman a three digit number like an area code (face 1-9; would have sex with 1 or 0; body 1-9). Aside from my shock that out of the entire bar only 2 women were give a zero for the middle number, the numbers were much higher than I expected. Also, the range of numbers they’d date was large. They really weren’t that picky for looks.

For life partners, men want reasonably attractive women. They are not looking for swimsuit models. They want reasonably attractive and someone that they can stand to be around and could build a life with them. For all but the top 5% of male earners, that means 2 incomes in any high COL area.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Men don’t want failure to launch kids with executive functioning issues, so they are getting more careful with who they pick as mothers of their kids. Life is getting more complicated, so hot is not enough anymore.

Lol. I guarantee this was written by a woman!

The other PP is right on target. Seen ambitious men marry not so smart but hot women and the boys take after the mom. Really messes up the future generation.

Just the boys take after their dim witted mothers? Do the girls turn out smart like their father, then?

Ha I know a family like this where the boys are personal trainers and the daughter is a PhD.

[Anonymous]

Hot. High earning. Sane.

Pick two.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I have a much younger sister in her early thirties and she and nearly all of her friends are SAHM’s to men working good professional jobs. Looking at the housing turnover in my neighborhood this seems to be the case there too. So I’m not sure if your theory is accurate.

+1. A man making really good money doesn't care if his wife makes money. He is looking for a woman who will be a great mother to his children and build a legacy. A tale as old as time.

+1

It's funny listening to women tell men about what they are looking for in a woman. Yes, many younger guys seek out women who have a decent income. They do this because most of these guys are broke. They are simply being practical. But guys don't care about how smart you are or if you're educated. And when guys have money, it's all about looks and personality.

I don’t know what investment you have in this narrative, but it’s not true. And you clearly are old and don’t know young men. We are living in a dual income society, even at the top. Young men want and need peers so they come out on top.

The older male partners at my firm all have SAH wives, and I had a higher HHI than them, even before my husband made partner. It’s awkward to be richer than your bosses, and young men see the writing on the wall and don’t want to live like that.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I have a much younger sister in her early thirties and she and nearly all of her friends are SAHM’s to men working good professional jobs. Looking at the housing turnover in my neighborhood this seems to be the case there too. So I’m not sure if your theory is accurate.

+1. A man making really good money doesn't care if his wife makes money. He is looking for a woman who will be a great mother to his children and build a legacy. A tale as old as time.

+1

It's funny listening to women tell men about what they are looking for in a woman. Yes, many younger guys seek out women who have a decent income. They do this because most of these guys are broke. They are simply being practical. But guys don't care about how smart you are or if you're educated. And when guys have money, it's all about looks and personality.

I don’t know what investment you have in this narrative, but it’s not true. And you clearly are old and don’t know young men. We are living in a dual income society, even at the top. Young men want and need peers so they come out on top.

The older male partners at my firm all have SAH wives, and I had a higher HHI than them, even before my husband made partner. It’s awkward to be richer than your bosses, and young men see the writing on the wall and don’t want to live like that.

Lady, you have no idea what you are talking about. I couldn't imagine telling a woman about what women really want . Your little world obviously revolves around striver types at law firms whose main goal in life is to make as much money as possible. Those people are in no way representative of guys in general.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I have a much younger sister in her early thirties and she and nearly all of her friends are SAHM’s to men working good professional jobs. Looking at the housing turnover in my neighborhood this seems to be the case there too. So I’m not sure if your theory is accurate.

I think it also depends where you live but ultimately, the high earning lawyer plus high earning cardiologist will do better overall financially and have the most resources of their kids. In the end, I can see this being the ideal set up.

You think a kid being raised by a big law partner and a busy specialist doctor is the ideal set up? Those people are going to need a backup nanny for the main nanny, so we are gonna have to agree to disagree there.

Maybe to you its not ideal but not everyone has the same priorities as you. These kids will have infinite resources and also the ability to spring into careers that they'd like. I have plenty of people in medical school class who had parents with exact these careers and they are doing well, close with their parents, and have also these career ambitions. They also felt that their parents were able to have flexibility in their schedules as high earners. I think the idea that these careers never see their kids is outdated.

A friend was telling me how his private school classmate's parents would leave for the Hamptons on the weekend and leave a stack of bills, about $1000, on the kitchen table for the kid to get thru the weekend. This was in the 1980s. Sounds ideal for the kid.

To me infinite resources plus a total lack of parental oversight is just as likely to result in a coke problem as a high achieving kid

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I have a much younger sister in her early thirties and she and nearly all of her friends are SAHM’s to men working good professional jobs. Looking at the housing turnover in my neighborhood this seems to be the case there too. So I’m not sure if your theory is accurate.

I think it also depends where you live but ultimately, the high earning lawyer plus high earning cardiologist will do better overall financially and have the most resources of their kids. In the end, I can see this being the ideal set up.

You think a kid being raised by a big law partner and a busy specialist doctor is the ideal set up? Those people are going to need a backup nanny for the main nanny, so we are gonna have to agree to disagree there.

Maybe to you its not ideal but not everyone has the same priorities as you. These kids will have infinite resources and also the ability to spring into careers that they'd like. I have plenty of people in medical school class who had parents with exact these careers and they are doing well, close with their parents, and have also these career ambitions. They also felt that their parents were able to have flexibility in their schedules as high earners. I think the idea that these careers never see their kids is outdated.

To me infinite resources plus a total lack of parental oversight is just as likely to result in a coke problem as a high achieving kid

A friend was telling me how his private school classmate's parents would leave for the Hamptons on the weekend and leave a stack of bills, about $1000, on the kitchen table for the kid to get thru the weekend. This was in the 1980s. Sounds ideal for the kid.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Hot. High earning. Sane.

Pick two.

A lot of people are none or one.