If you had the money, would you raise your kids in NYC?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Yes for 0-5, maybe for 6-12, and then maybe for 12-18. Yes if your DC goes there for college. And yes, it would require money not being an issue.

We do not live in NYC now, because our jobs require us to live elsewhere, but I would love to live there full time. There is an immediacy of culture that I still haven’t experienced in other areas I’ve lived in (up and down the eastern seaboard and abroad).

I think NYC would be a great place to raise young children, but a little tough for later elementary/MS//HS, when it’s just easier to have a car, yard and basement to keep kids corralled. Plus there is a shared life experience that exists among kids being bored in the suburbs, and that’s both somewhat bonding and motivating, lol.

We owned an apartment in NYC and kept it; we rent it out to help pay down the mortgage. We plan to eventually use it as a pied a terre for vacations, and for when DC hit MS/HS and might want to participate in NYC based athletic/academic camps/workshops/courses.

We hope to eventually retire there. It seems counterintuitive to think about retiring in such a HCOL area, which we certainly keep in mind when it comes to saving for that period of our lives. And if things change, then at least we will have over anticipated our expenses!

But NYC is a place where there is such a high level of culture, music, food and medical care, all in a much smaller radius than most anywhere else in the US. I also feel like if there is one city that friends/family will readily come to visit us, it will be NYC, so less chance of being isolated in our middle/old age.

I am one of the prior posters who actually raised 2 kids in NYC (still raising the third) on a fairly moderate income. We also had a 8 year detour in suburbs, and based on that I disagree with the age breakdown. Based on my experience, it's great in NYC for ages 0-2. It's better in the suburbs between 2-8, when they are running around 24/7 and a backyard is crucial, and door to door car rides are super handy as well. It's better again at 8-12 when transportation is less of an issue. It's a toss at 12-14, but only because of the middle school situation - if you can figure that out, NYC is better, since they don't depend on you for transportation. Finally, NYC is definitely better at 14+.

[Anonymous]

No. I love DC's green spaces. NYC doesn't have nearly as many trees.

[Anonymous]

Never in a million years.

[Anonymous]

No, but I have never had an interest in living in NYC, kid or no kid. I like to visit but don't want to live there.

[Anonymous]

This is us. Not loaded, but we can afford a top private in NYC and are enjoying life in the city with kids.
If you are well off, I think NYC is the place to live at any age and stage of life.

[Anonymous]

I have lived all over the world. My parents were diplomats and we moved a lot. Also, I studied international relations and foreign languages in college and lived abroad and then worked at a job that required quite a bit of travel. I have been to over 45 of the world's capitals. I have been to Italy, France, the UK, Germany and Japan more than 8 times each. Etc. The quality of the people in New York City - intelligence, level of education, drive, success, worldliness - is unmatched. I love London too, but I find it a lot less diverse and cosmopolitan than NYC. I don't like the heat in Singapore, and Hong Kong is not what it used to be.

To me, NYC is the best city in the world, so if you are a city person, the energy, the people and the climate in NYC cannot be matched. It is intense and fast paced; easy going, not competitive people would not be happy in NYC. It is great if you are career driven: endless job opportunities in many sectors, not just law and finance. I have a close friend who is an actor, and he finds an equal number of jobs in NYC and LA.

I do think that NYC is great for children because it is economically, racially and culturally diverse, and because kids can gain independence earlier and for better or worse grow up faster in NYC. Most teens are commuting on their own by the late middle school years. All my college friends from NYC were very savvy and well prepared for college, academically and otherwise.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:I don’t deal well with crowds or too much noise, so no. Even the DC area is more crowded that I really prefer.

I live next to a park in NYC. I am also noise sensitive and hate crowds. I love my neighborhood and NYC. That's the advantage of a huge city - you can live many different ways. You can find a way that suits your needs. You can go out to dinners, parties and concerts every night, or never. You can send your kids to a neighborhood public school, or to a gifted & talented charter school, or to a traditional/progressive/co-ed/single sex/uptown/downtown/Brooklyn private school. There are many, many choices for a lifestyle in a city unlike in the suburbs, where life is more or less the same for everyone.

[Anonymous]

Lived in both NYC and DC as a single female. Married and moved to nova and started a family. I love to visit NYC, but living there does not appeal to me anymore, not with kids.

Main reasons:

The sheer size of the crowds
Lack of outdoor space and greenery
Convenience

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I don’t deal well with crowds or too much noise, so no. Even the DC area is more crowded that I really prefer.

I live next to a park in NYC. I am also noise sensitive and hate crowds. I love my neighborhood and NYC. That's the advantage of a huge city - you can live many different ways. You can find a way that suits your needs. You can go out to dinners, parties and concerts every night, or never. You can send your kids to a neighborhood public school, or to a gifted & talented charter school, or to a traditional/progressive/co-ed/single sex/uptown/downtown/Brooklyn private school. There are many, many choices for a lifestyle in a city unlike in the suburbs, where life is more or less the same for everyone.

+1. My NYC neighborhood is quiet and leafy and adjacent to a huge park and innumerable playgrounds. I was actually thinking of this thread when I was walking home from the subway yesterday to pick up my daughter at her elementary school, wishing I could share photos of the glorious fall day in the neighborhood, with beautiful brownstones, kids laughing, families at the corner restaurant, and her quaint little school 4 blocks from home. It just doesn't align whatsoever with how people are describing their reasons for not wanting to raise a family in NYC. Still, I get the aversion - some people want the convenience of a big backyard or a finished basement or whatever, or they just don't like density, or don't like walking, want to be 30 minutes from skiing, or any number of things. No doubt my neighborhood is noisier and more crowded than most suburbs. But it's hardly the skyscraper filled, trash and rat laden, money fueled metropolis described over the past 10 pages. I work for the city government, most families in my neighborhood are civil servants, creatives, tech, journalism, media, etc. I don't have a single friend in finance, or if I'm friendly with a parent who is in finance, I don't know it. Because we don't talk about work all the time so I don't really know what many people do.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I grew up in a brownstone on the Upper East Side and went to private school. I now live in the DC suburbs. I’m torn on this question. I loved growing up in NYC. I had a ton of independence, met cool and interesting people and got to do many cool and interesting things. I think it made me more resilient and independent and frankly, more interesting.
But, it was a very big money culture and kind of a weird bubble. On the one hand, I would spend my days at school with children of billionaires (and this was back in the 80s when they weren’t so common) as well as celebrities and well known NYers. Then I’d head home walking by homeless people, get on the public bus (and everyone took the public bus, even billionaire kids) and I would be the only white person. So, I was aware of the wider world where there were many have-nots yet my everyday baseline of how people lived was skewed by my classmates. [b]Yet, I am much less afraid of people of different backgrounds than my suburban-raised friends.[/b][youtube]
Now when I am with my friends from NYC, all I hear is how caught up they are in the private school and social world and I am glad to not be part of it. DC has its own rat race but I have chosen to not engage in that world and am happier for it. So, I guess the answer is no but I do regret not giving my kids exposure to many of the things I was exposed to.

Nice to hear that you and the billionaire's kids are so in touch with the poors and POC because you spotted them on public transportation. You are so insufferable.

I was coming on here just to write this very thing! Bwahaha

+ 1 over here, too, hilarious

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I grew up in a brownstone on the Upper East Side and went to private school. I now live in the DC suburbs. I’m torn on this question. I loved growing up in NYC. I had a ton of independence, met cool and interesting people and got to do many cool and interesting things. I think it made me more resilient and independent and frankly, more interesting.
But, it was a very big money culture and kind of a weird bubble. On the one hand, I would spend my days at school with children of billionaires (and this was back in the 80s when they weren’t so common) as well as celebrities and well known NYers. Then I’d head home walking by homeless people, get on the public bus (and everyone took the public bus, even billionaire kids) and I would be the only white person. So, I was aware of the wider world where there were many have-nots yet my everyday baseline of how people lived was skewed by my classmates. [b]Yet, I am much less afraid of people of different backgrounds than my suburban-raised friends.[/b][youtube]
Now when I am with my friends from NYC, all I hear is how caught up they are in the private school and social world and I am glad to not be part of it. DC has its own rat race but I have chosen to not engage in that world and am happier for it. So, I guess the answer is no but I do regret not giving my kids exposure to many of the things I was exposed to.

Nice to hear that you and the billionaire's kids are so in touch with the poors and POC because you spotted them on public transportation. You are so insufferable.

I was coming on here just to write this very thing! Bwahaha

+ 1 over here, too, hilarious

I kind of get the mocking, but doesn't exposure to other people matter? Isn't it better to ride public transportation with everyone than to grow up being shuttled around in your car from your homogenous school to activities? Not saying it has to be one or the other, but it's hard to deny the value of an equitable public transportation system as a unifier of humanity, on some levels.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I grew up in a brownstone on the Upper East Side and went to private school. I now live in the DC suburbs. I’m torn on this question. I loved growing up in NYC. I had a ton of independence, met cool and interesting people and got to do many cool and interesting things. I think it made me more resilient and independent and frankly, more interesting.
But, it was a very big money culture and kind of a weird bubble. On the one hand, I would spend my days at school with children of billionaires (and this was back in the 80s when they weren’t so common) as well as celebrities and well known NYers. Then I’d head home walking by homeless people, get on the public bus (and everyone took the public bus, even billionaire kids) and I would be the only white person. So, I was aware of the wider world where there were many have-nots yet my everyday baseline of how people lived was skewed by my classmates. [b]Yet, I am much less afraid of people of different backgrounds than my suburban-raised friends.[/b][youtube]
Now when I am with my friends from NYC, all I hear is how caught up they are in the private school and social world and I am glad to not be part of it. DC has its own rat race but I have chosen to not engage in that world and am happier for it. So, I guess the answer is no but I do regret not giving my kids exposure to many of the things I was exposed to.

Nice to hear that you and the billionaire's kids are so in touch with the poors and POC because you spotted them on public transportation. You are so insufferable.

I was coming on here just to write this very thing! Bwahaha

+ 1 over here, too, hilarious

I kind of get the mocking, but doesn't exposure to other people matter? Isn't it better to ride public transportation with everyone than to grow up being shuttled around in your car from your homogenous school to activities? Not saying it has to be one or the other, but it's hard to deny the value of an equitable public transportation system as a unifier of humanity, on some levels.

If you don’t ride the subway I understand the mockery. But I take subway to work every day, and I understand exactly what the poster people are mocking was trying to convey.

I feel weirdly connected to society at large in a subway car. Everyone is there - rich, poor, old, young, healthy, disabled, etc. - often smushed together at rush hour. Everyone is staring vacantly into space, but is also alert to everyone around them. People wordlessly stand up to allow kids and old people to sit down, and people look out for each other if you drop something or get hassled by a homeless person.

Whatever happens in that subway car, you are all in it together, and it doesn’t matter how rich you are or what your last name is when you are hurtling down a track under the east river at 7 AM. And almost everyone at work from the top level management to the cleaning staff can discuss with one another just how much they got “f’d by the train” that morning. I think this is what the poster is alluding to, this shared experience with a random cross section of society that is harder to find outside NYC.

I think this is why so many movies and tv shows have scenes where the protagonist is riding the subway - it’s a weird liminal space because you are simultaneously alone but also together with the rest of society.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:I have lived all over the world. My parents were diplomats and we moved a lot. Also, I studied international relations and foreign languages in college and lived abroad and then worked at a job that required quite a bit of travel. I have been to over 45 of the world's capitals. I have been to Italy, France, the UK, Germany and Japan more than 8 times each. Etc. The quality of the people in New York City - intelligence, level of education, drive, success, worldliness - is unmatched. I love London too, but I find it a lot less diverse and cosmopolitan than NYC. I don't like the heat in Singapore, and Hong Kong is not what it used to be.

To me, NYC is the best city in the world, so if you are a city person, the energy, the people and the climate in NYC cannot be matched. It is intense and fast paced; easy going, not competitive people would not be happy in NYC. It is great if you are career driven: endless job opportunities in many sectors, not just law and finance. I have a close friend who is an actor, and he finds an equal number of jobs in NYC and LA.

I do think that NYC is great for children because it is economically, racially and culturally diverse, and because kids can gain independence earlier and for better or worse grow up faster in NYC. Most teens are commuting on their own by the late middle school years. All my college friends from NYC were very savvy and well prepared for college, academically and otherwise.

I am from NYC and now live in DC suburbs. I love NYC. I miss NYC. I would not want to raise my kids in NYC. I’m happy that they are safe and sheltered. I know their friends. I was exposed to too much too early in NYC. When I went to college, I often thought kids weren’t cool enough. My kids would be the not cool enough kids and that is just fine.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I don’t deal well with crowds or too much noise, so no. Even the DC area is more crowded that I really prefer.

I live next to a park in NYC. I am also noise sensitive and hate crowds. I love my neighborhood and NYC. That's the advantage of a huge city - you can live many different ways. You can find a way that suits your needs. You can go out to dinners, parties and concerts every night, or never. You can send your kids to a neighborhood public school, or to a gifted & talented charter school, or to a traditional/progressive/co-ed/single sex/uptown/downtown/Brooklyn private school. There are many, many choices for a lifestyle in a city unlike in the suburbs, where life is more or less the same for everyone.

I am sensitive to noise and I think many parts of DC are worse noise wise than NYC due to the height limitations and the proliferation of central HVAC systems that create noise. I think it is easier to find a quiet apartment on the UWS than in Dupont circle.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I don’t deal well with crowds or too much noise, so no. Even the DC area is more crowded that I really prefer.

I live next to a park in NYC. I am also noise sensitive and hate crowds. I love my neighborhood and NYC. That's the advantage of a huge city - you can live many different ways. You can find a way that suits your needs. You can go out to dinners, parties and concerts every night, or never. You can send your kids to a neighborhood public school, or to a gifted & talented charter school, or to a traditional/progressive/co-ed/single sex/uptown/downtown/Brooklyn private school. There are many, many choices for a lifestyle in a city unlike in the suburbs, where life is more or less the same for everyone.

+1. My NYC neighborhood is quiet and leafy and adjacent to a huge park and innumerable playgrounds. I was actually thinking of this thread when I was walking home from the subway yesterday to pick up my daughter at her elementary school, wishing I could share photos of the glorious fall day in the neighborhood, with beautiful brownstones, kids laughing, families at the corner restaurant, and her quaint little school 4 blocks from home. It just doesn't align whatsoever with how people are describing their reasons for not wanting to raise a family in NYC. Still, I get the aversion - some people want the convenience of a big backyard or a finished basement or whatever, or they just don't like density, or don't like walking, want to be 30 minutes from skiing, or any number of things. No doubt my neighborhood is noisier and more crowded than most suburbs. But it's hardly the skyscraper filled, trash and rat laden, money fueled metropolis described over the past 10 pages. I work for the city government, most families in my neighborhood are civil servants, creatives, tech, journalism, media, etc. I don't have a single friend in finance, or if I'm friendly with a parent who is in finance, I don't know it. Because we don't talk about work all the time so I don't really know what many people do.

May I ask what neighborhood you live in? Sounds lovely.