If you had the money, would you raise your kids in NYC?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I grew up in a brownstone on the Upper East Side and went to private school. I now live in the DC suburbs. I’m torn on this question. I loved growing up in NYC. I had a ton of independence, met cool and interesting people and got to do many cool and interesting things. I think it made me more resilient and independent and frankly, more interesting.
But, it was a very big money culture and kind of a weird bubble. On the one hand, I would spend my days at school with children of billionaires (and this was back in the 80s when they weren’t so common) as well as celebrities and well known NYers. Then I’d head home walking by homeless people, get on the public bus (and everyone took the public bus, even billionaire kids) and I would be the only white person. So, I was aware of the wider world where there were many have-nots yet my everyday baseline of how people lived was skewed by my classmates. [b]Yet, I am much less afraid of people of different backgrounds than my suburban-raised friends.[/b][youtube]
Now when I am with my friends from NYC, all I hear is how caught up they are in the private school and social world and I am glad to not be part of it. DC has its own rat race but I have chosen to not engage in that world and am happier for it. So, I guess the answer is no but I do regret not giving my kids exposure to many of the things I was exposed to.

Nice to hear that you and the billionaire's kids are so in touch with the poors and POC because you spotted them on public transportation. You are so insufferable.

I was coming on here just to write this very thing! Bwahaha

+ 1 over here, too, hilarious

I kind of get the mocking, but doesn't exposure to other people matter? Isn't it better to ride public transportation with everyone than to grow up being shuttled around in your car from your homogenous school to activities? Not saying it has to be one or the other, but it's hard to deny the value of an equitable public transportation system as a unifier of humanity, on some levels.

I guess but as you said, it’s not one or the other. I grew up on Westchester. Yes, my parents drove me to activities (or I rode my bike or walked) and I was not taking public transportation all day. But we did every time we went into the city (a lot), we did every time we went to London or Paris or Glasgow or DC. Just because you’re raised in the suburbs does not mean you never leave your house or acquire other experiences.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I don’t deal well with crowds or too much noise, so no. Even the DC area is more crowded that I really prefer.

I live next to a park in NYC. I am also noise sensitive and hate crowds. I love my neighborhood and NYC. That's the advantage of a huge city - you can live many different ways. You can find a way that suits your needs. You can go out to dinners, parties and concerts every night, or never. You can send your kids to a neighborhood public school, or to a gifted & talented charter school, or to a traditional/progressive/co-ed/single sex/uptown/downtown/Brooklyn private school. There are many, many choices for a lifestyle in a city unlike in the suburbs, where life is more or less the same for everyone.

+1. My NYC neighborhood is quiet and leafy and adjacent to a huge park and innumerable playgrounds. I was actually thinking of this thread when I was walking home from the subway yesterday to pick up my daughter at her elementary school, wishing I could share photos of the glorious fall day in the neighborhood, with beautiful brownstones, kids laughing, families at the corner restaurant, and her quaint little school 4 blocks from home. It just doesn't align whatsoever with how people are describing their reasons for not wanting to raise a family in NYC. Still, I get the aversion - some people want the convenience of a big backyard or a finished basement or whatever, or they just don't like density, or don't like walking, want to be 30 minutes from skiing, or any number of things. No doubt my neighborhood is noisier and more crowded than most suburbs. But it's hardly the skyscraper filled, trash and rat laden, money fueled metropolis described over the past 10 pages. I work for the city government, most families in my neighborhood are civil servants, creatives, tech, journalism, media, etc. I don't have a single friend in finance, or if I'm friendly with a parent who is in finance, I don't know it. Because we don't talk about work all the time so I don't really know what many people do.

I have 3 kids and I drive them to a lot of sports. I didn’t mind the subway when I lived in nyc and I have always disliked driving. I did not drive when I grew up in nyc, didn’t drive in Boston and didn’t drive when we moved back to Manhattan. I cannot imagine not driving now with my 3 kids.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I don’t deal well with crowds or too much noise, so no. Even the DC area is more crowded that I really prefer.

I live next to a park in NYC. I am also noise sensitive and hate crowds. I love my neighborhood and NYC. That's the advantage of a huge city - you can live many different ways. You can find a way that suits your needs. You can go out to dinners, parties and concerts every night, or never. You can send your kids to a neighborhood public school, or to a gifted & talented charter school, or to a traditional/progressive/co-ed/single sex/uptown/downtown/Brooklyn private school. There are many, many choices for a lifestyle in a city unlike in the suburbs, where life is more or less the same for everyone.

+1. My NYC neighborhood is quiet and leafy and adjacent to a huge park and innumerable playgrounds. I was actually thinking of this thread when I was walking home from the subway yesterday to pick up my daughter at her elementary school, wishing I could share photos of the glorious fall day in the neighborhood, with beautiful brownstones, kids laughing, families at the corner restaurant, and her quaint little school 4 blocks from home. It just doesn't align whatsoever with how people are describing their reasons for not wanting to raise a family in NYC. Still, I get the aversion - some people want the convenience of a big backyard or a finished basement or whatever, or they just don't like density, or don't like walking, want to be 30 minutes from skiing, or any number of things. No doubt my neighborhood is noisier and more crowded than most suburbs. But it's hardly the skyscraper filled, trash and rat laden, money fueled metropolis described over the past 10 pages. I work for the city government, most families in my neighborhood are civil servants, creatives, tech, journalism, media, etc. I don't have a single friend in finance, or if I'm friendly with a parent who is in finance, I don't know it. Because we don't talk about work all the time so I don't really know what many people do.

May I ask what neighborhood you live in? Sounds lovely.

Park Slope/Windsor Terrace. We don't have tons of money by dcum standards but we own a very small apartment that works for us.

[Anonymous]

I wouldn’t kill myself or anything if I had to live there. I’m sure I could make it work, but it wouldn’t be my ideal place to live. It’s far from my friends and family, and the city makes me feel closed in, rather than energized.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I don’t deal well with crowds or too much noise, so no. Even the DC area is more crowded that I really prefer.

I live next to a park in NYC. I am also noise sensitive and hate crowds. I love my neighborhood and NYC. That's the advantage of a huge city - you can live many different ways. You can find a way that suits your needs. You can go out to dinners, parties and concerts every night, or never. You can send your kids to a neighborhood public school, or to a gifted & talented charter school, or to a traditional/progressive/co-ed/single sex/uptown/downtown/Brooklyn private school. There are many, many choices for a lifestyle in a city unlike in the suburbs, where life is more or less the same for everyone.

+1. My NYC neighborhood is quiet and leafy and adjacent to a huge park and innumerable playgrounds. I was actually thinking of this thread when I was walking home from the subway yesterday to pick up my daughter at her elementary school, wishing I could share photos of the glorious fall day in the neighborhood, with beautiful brownstones, kids laughing, families at the corner restaurant, and her quaint little school 4 blocks from home. It just doesn't align whatsoever with how people are describing their reasons for not wanting to raise a family in NYC. Still, I get the aversion - some people want the convenience of a big backyard or a finished basement or whatever, or they just don't like density, or don't like walking, want to be 30 minutes from skiing, or any number of things. No doubt my neighborhood is noisier and more crowded than most suburbs. But it's hardly the skyscraper filled, trash and rat laden, money fueled metropolis described over the past 10 pages. I work for the city government, most families in my neighborhood are civil servants, creatives, tech, journalism, media, etc. I don't have a single friend in finance, or if I'm friendly with a parent who is in finance, I don't know it. Because we don't talk about work all the time so I don't really know what many people do.

Sigh…I’m envious! Enjoy it.

[Anonymous]

Yes. If we could afford a sizable home with a yard, yes.

[Anonymous]

My brother is don’t this.
We could afford it but I’d hate it. It’s just such an extreme version of everything—getting kids on preschool wait lists before they are born, competition for getting into even public high schools. The disdain for things hat aren’t chic or urban. I don’t like riaising kids thinking that’s normal. My brother is an aggressive competitive type and he thrives on the NY superiority complex. If you can make it there, you can make it anywhere, sure. But do you have to be able to make it anywhere? Isn’t it good enough to make it somewhere?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I don’t deal well with crowds or too much noise, so no. Even the DC area is more crowded that I really prefer.

I live next to a park in NYC. I am also noise sensitive and hate crowds. I love my neighborhood and NYC. That's the advantage of a huge city - you can live many different ways. You can find a way that suits your needs. You can go out to dinners, parties and concerts every night, or never. You can send your kids to a neighborhood public school, or to a gifted & talented charter school, or to a traditional/progressive/co-ed/single sex/uptown/downtown/Brooklyn private school. There are many, many choices for a lifestyle in a city unlike in the suburbs, where life is more or less the same for everyone.

+1. My NYC neighborhood is quiet and leafy and adjacent to a huge park and innumerable playgrounds. I was actually thinking of this thread when I was walking home from the subway yesterday to pick up my daughter at her elementary school, wishing I could share photos of the glorious fall day in the neighborhood, with beautiful brownstones, kids laughing, families at the corner restaurant, and her quaint little school 4 blocks from home. It just doesn't align whatsoever with how people are describing their reasons for not wanting to raise a family in NYC. Still, I get the aversion - some people want the convenience of a big backyard or a finished basement or whatever, or they just don't like density, or don't like walking, want to be 30 minutes from skiing, or any number of things. No doubt my neighborhood is noisier and more crowded than most suburbs. But it's hardly the skyscraper filled, trash and rat laden, money fueled metropolis described over the past 10 pages. I work for the city government, most families in my neighborhood are civil servants, creatives, tech, journalism, media, etc. I don't have a single friend in finance, or if I'm friendly with a parent who is in finance, I don't know it. Because we don't talk about work all the time so I don't really know what many people do.

Sorry but you’re delusional. There isn’t a single neighborhood in NYC that is quiet and leafy. Perhaps some parts of Staten Island but you don’t live there since you said the subway. Speaking of the subway, it’s disgusting. The stations aren’t clean and neither is your neighborhood. NYC is the only city I’m aware of where you throw your trash into trashcans and bags on the street. There is just no way that your neighborhood is truly clean and quiet. I have been all over Brooklyn and queens and never seen anything like that. Perhaps if you move from third avenue you might think your neighborhood is clean and quiet, but not if you’ve ever been to a clean and quiet town or neighborhood.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:My brother is don’t this.
We could afford it but I’d hate it. It’s just such an extreme version of everything—getting kids on preschool wait lists before they are born, competition for getting into even public high schools. The disdain for things hat aren’t chic or urban. I don’t like riaising kids thinking that’s normal. My brother is an aggressive competitive type and he thrives on the NY superiority complex. If you can make it there, you can make it anywhere, sure. But do you have to be able to make it anywhere? Isn’t it good enough to make it somewhere?

The NY superiority complex is so annoying. So many New Yorkers are obsessed with NY and make it a huge part of their identity. They think normal things or events like going to brunch, drinking at a bar, private schools, concerts are truly unique to New York. Even when I visit I am shocked by how much people talk about NY. I lived in NY for years and it’s not that big of a deal.

[Anonymous]

Yes, I love NYC. Luckily my bf lives there so I visit often. My kids love it there too.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I don’t deal well with crowds or too much noise, so no. Even the DC area is more crowded that I really prefer.

I live next to a park in NYC. I am also noise sensitive and hate crowds. I love my neighborhood and NYC. That's the advantage of a huge city - you can live many different ways. You can find a way that suits your needs. You can go out to dinners, parties and concerts every night, or never. You can send your kids to a neighborhood public school, or to a gifted & talented charter school, or to a traditional/progressive/co-ed/single sex/uptown/downtown/Brooklyn private school. There are many, many choices for a lifestyle in a city unlike in the suburbs, where life is more or less the same for everyone.

+1. My NYC neighborhood is quiet and leafy and adjacent to a huge park and innumerable playgrounds. I was actually thinking of this thread when I was walking home from the subway yesterday to pick up my daughter at her elementary school, wishing I could share photos of the glorious fall day in the neighborhood, with beautiful brownstones, kids laughing, families at the corner restaurant, and her quaint little school 4 blocks from home. It just doesn't align whatsoever with how people are describing their reasons for not wanting to raise a family in NYC. Still, I get the aversion - some people want the convenience of a big backyard or a finished basement or whatever, or they just don't like density, or don't like walking, want to be 30 minutes from skiing, or any number of things. No doubt my neighborhood is noisier and more crowded than most suburbs. But it's hardly the skyscraper filled, trash and rat laden, money fueled metropolis described over the past 10 pages. I work for the city government, most families in my neighborhood are civil servants, creatives, tech, journalism, media, etc. I don't have a single friend in finance, or if I'm friendly with a parent who is in finance, I don't know it. Because we don't talk about work all the time so I don't really know what many people do.

Sorry but you’re delusional. There isn’t a single neighborhood in NYC that is quiet and leafy. Perhaps some parts of Staten Island but you don’t live there since you said the subway. Speaking of the subway, it’s disgusting. The stations aren’t clean and neither is your neighborhood. NYC is the only city I’m aware of where you throw your trash into trashcans and bags on the street. There is just no way that your neighborhood is truly clean and quiet. I have been all over Brooklyn and queens and never seen anything like that. Perhaps if you move from third avenue you might think your neighborhood is clean and quiet, but not if you’ve ever been to a clean and quiet town or neighborhood.

Got it. You hate it. But what does the bolded mean?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I don’t deal well with crowds or too much noise, so no. Even the DC area is more crowded that I really prefer.

I live next to a park in NYC. I am also noise sensitive and hate crowds. I love my neighborhood and NYC. That's the advantage of a huge city - you can live many different ways. You can find a way that suits your needs. You can go out to dinners, parties and concerts every night, or never. You can send your kids to a neighborhood public school, or to a gifted & talented charter school, or to a traditional/progressive/co-ed/single sex/uptown/downtown/Brooklyn private school. There are many, many choices for a lifestyle in a city unlike in the suburbs, where life is more or less the same for everyone.

+1. My NYC neighborhood is quiet and leafy and adjacent to a huge park and innumerable playgrounds. I was actually thinking of this thread when I was walking home from the subway yesterday to pick up my daughter at her elementary school, wishing I could share photos of the glorious fall day in the neighborhood, with beautiful brownstones, kids laughing, families at the corner restaurant, and her quaint little school 4 blocks from home. It just doesn't align whatsoever with how people are describing their reasons for not wanting to raise a family in NYC. Still, I get the aversion - some people want the convenience of a big backyard or a finished basement or whatever, or they just don't like density, or don't like walking, want to be 30 minutes from skiing, or any number of things. No doubt my neighborhood is noisier and more crowded than most suburbs. But it's hardly the skyscraper filled, trash and rat laden, money fueled metropolis described over the past 10 pages. I work for the city government, most families in my neighborhood are civil servants, creatives, tech, journalism, media, etc. I don't have a single friend in finance, or if I'm friendly with a parent who is in finance, I don't know it. Because we don't talk about work all the time so I don't really know what many people do.

May I ask what neighborhood you live in? Sounds lovely.

Park Slope/Windsor Terrace. We don't have tons of money by dcum standards but we own a very small apartment that works for us.

Hi neighbor! I am in Windsor Terrace/Kensington. From your description, I thought you were talking about Prospect Park and surroundings, and I was right.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I don’t deal well with crowds or too much noise, so no. Even the DC area is more crowded that I really prefer.

I live next to a park in NYC. I am also noise sensitive and hate crowds. I love my neighborhood and NYC. That's the advantage of a huge city - you can live many different ways. You can find a way that suits your needs. You can go out to dinners, parties and concerts every night, or never. You can send your kids to a neighborhood public school, or to a gifted & talented charter school, or to a traditional/progressive/co-ed/single sex/uptown/downtown/Brooklyn private school. There are many, many choices for a lifestyle in a city unlike in the suburbs, where life is more or less the same for everyone.

+1. My NYC neighborhood is quiet and leafy and adjacent to a huge park and innumerable playgrounds. I was actually thinking of this thread when I was walking home from the subway yesterday to pick up my daughter at her elementary school, wishing I could share photos of the glorious fall day in the neighborhood, with beautiful brownstones, kids laughing, families at the corner restaurant, and her quaint little school 4 blocks from home. It just doesn't align whatsoever with how people are describing their reasons for not wanting to raise a family in NYC. Still, I get the aversion - some people want the convenience of a big backyard or a finished basement or whatever, or they just don't like density, or don't like walking, want to be 30 minutes from skiing, or any number of things. No doubt my neighborhood is noisier and more crowded than most suburbs. But it's hardly the skyscraper filled, trash and rat laden, money fueled metropolis described over the past 10 pages. I work for the city government, most families in my neighborhood are civil servants, creatives, tech, journalism, media, etc. I don't have a single friend in finance, or if I'm friendly with a parent who is in finance, I don't know it. Because we don't talk about work all the time so I don't really know what many people do.

Sorry but you’re delusional. There isn’t a single neighborhood in NYC that is quiet and leafy. Perhaps some parts of Staten Island but you don’t live there since you said the subway. Speaking of the subway, it’s disgusting. The stations aren’t clean and neither is your neighborhood. NYC is the only city I’m aware of where you throw your trash into trashcans and bags on the street. There is just no way that your neighborhood is truly clean and quiet. I have been all over Brooklyn and queens and never seen anything like that. Perhaps if you move from third avenue you might think your neighborhood is clean and quiet, but not if you’ve ever been to a clean and quiet town or neighborhood.

Have you been to Victorian Flatbush? There are several adjacent neighborhoods that are quiet and leafy.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:My brother is don’t this.
We could afford it but I’d hate it. It’s just such an extreme version of everything—getting kids on preschool wait lists before they are born, competition for getting into even public high schools. The disdain for things hat aren’t chic or urban. I don’t like riaising kids thinking that’s normal. My brother is an aggressive competitive type and he thrives on the NY superiority complex. If you can make it there, you can make it anywhere, sure. But do you have to be able to make it anywhere? Isn’t it good enough to make it somewhere?

The NY superiority complex is so annoying. So many New Yorkers are obsessed with NY and make it a huge part of their identity. They think normal things or events like going to brunch, drinking at a bar, private schools, concerts are truly unique to New York. Even when I visit I am shocked by how much people talk about NY. I lived in NY for years and it’s not that big of a deal.

Ha! I think this is true. This is another end of the spectrum, but I’m from southern Ohio and was once told by an NYC native that heroin addiction was a huge problem in the city, and I had probably never seen anything like it.

[Anonymous]

“...for in that city [New York] there is neurosis in the air which the inhabitants mistake for energy.”

― Evelyn Waugh, Brideshead Revisited