Why so much disgust felt towards men for dating significantly younger?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I think the ick factor is in proportion to age difference. My Bil increasingly has dated younger and younger women. His current gf is 20ish and he is nearing 40. I remember what being 20 was like and there is such an extreme power imbalance here. I feel the ick factor on her part too but I feel it much more strongly on him because he is so much older and should know better. It grosses me out and I avoid him as far as I can without making things awkward. I think he is emotionally messed up and is attracted to these young women for their youth and beauty. The women are naive and he historically always finds something wrong with their character without seeming to have much desire to look at himself.

Yeah, it's terrible to want those things in a woman.

No, it’s not terrible to value those things but you are taking the sentence out of context.

Do you have a daughter or niece? Can you imagine her coming home at 19/20 and explaining she has a 40 year old boyfriend. There isn’t a part of you that isn’t going to go “what’s up with that!?”. The reality is that 99% of men in that dynamic are not seeking to be honorable in their relationship with that young woman. That is a scummy component.

OMG, it took 9 pages for the, what-about-your-daughter lady to show up. You are slacking.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I think the ick factor is in proportion to age difference. My Bil increasingly has dated younger and younger women. His current gf is 20ish and he is nearing 40. I remember what being 20 was like and there is such an extreme power imbalance here. I feel the ick factor on her part too but I feel it much more strongly on him because he is so much older and should know better. It grosses me out and I avoid him as far as I can without making things awkward. I think he is emotionally messed up and is attracted to these young women for their youth and beauty. The women are naive and he historically always finds something wrong with their character without seeming to have much desire to look at himself.

Yeah, it's terrible to want those things in a woman.

DP. There is a huge ick factor in men of any age using women as sex toys.

How terrible to lust after your significant other!

There is typically a huge mental/emotional gap between being in your 20s and being in your 40s (or really any 20-year age gap). If you are with someone you don’t have any real mental/emotional connection with just for sex without any regard for their emotional well-being, then yes, it’s gross.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Predatory, shameful old man checking back in. Just got from lunch with a 28-year old exploring career options. She didn't seem to mind my presence much.

No one believes that you just came back from lunch with a 28 year old or that she didn’t mind your presence.

Ok you caught me. It was technically midday desserts. Sweet! The ice cream wasn't bad either

You know I didn’t think much of this until I read this guys comments. Now I am going to think of him when I think of older men dating younger women and it is pretty 🤢

Don’t worry he’s just writing bad fiction. There are whole Twitter threads devoted to making fun of men writing women, this would fit in well.

I'm going to take it as a compliment that you think my life is fiction. It doesn't seem all that fantastical or exciting to me. Just a day in the life...

Bad fiction rarely is “fantastical” or “exciting”. That’s what makes it bad.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Just turned 62, widowed past 15 years. and still dating women in their 40s to early 50s. I get the cringe factor of guys still dating women in their 20s but, at my age, a decade younger with children who have left home just seems perfect. The women my age or even within 5 years of my age that I see on dating sites, or who pursue me just haven't held up very well at all, with some rare exceptions.

I don't see a problem at your age 50 and up. Anything below is the creepy factor. I would warn you though, most of the single women I know at that age are looking for something. Either a good retirement, or to better their lifestyle. If you don't plan to marry which I don't think anyone over 50 should you'll be fine. Although I would be concerned about STDs which is rampant but if you find a LTR it's much safer. Something to think about.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Just turned 62, widowed past 15 years. and still dating women in their 40s to early 50s. I get the cringe factor of guys still dating women in their 20s but, at my age, a decade younger with children who have left home just seems perfect. The women my age or even within 5 years of my age that I see on dating sites, or who pursue me just haven't held up very well at all, with some rare exceptions.

What are you looking for at this stage in life? Just some random, short-lived fun, or a long-term relationship?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Women often feel that they are only valued for their beauty. We often equate youth with beauty. I think some men are really into this idea and speak in a way that is disrespectful to women their age or older. They fetishize youth in their partners and dismiss all women over a certain age as ugly or gross. It’s understandable that these women would then be offended.

Even as a young woman I was grossed out by the whole “trade your 40 y/o wife in for two 20 y/os haha” joke. I think it perpetuates a tired and cruel idea that a woman’s worth is derived only from her beauty and that beauty can only exist for young women. I don’t think that all men who date younger women believe this but there is a loud and vocal group that does. I understand why they bother women of any age.

+1

I heard the “trade their wife in for a new model” jokes when I was in elementary school and even back then I knew enough that it made me furious.

Why? The new model from all I've seen is only interested in getting the lifestyle the fast way. In most situations they care little for the old fossil. One of my family members dumped his wife of 25 years. It lasted an entire 5 years until she died. (he didn't see that one), and he tried to go back to his ex which didn't happen. It impacted his money, and 2 of his kids never spoke to him again.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Just turned 62, widowed past 15 years. and still dating women in their 40s to early 50s. I get the cringe factor of guys still dating women in their 20s but, at my age, a decade younger with children who have left home just seems perfect. The women my age or even within 5 years of my age that I see on dating sites, or who pursue me just haven't held up very well at all, with some rare exceptions.

What are you looking for at this stage in life? Just some random, short-lived fun, or a long-term relationship?

My nephew divorced his wife because he thought at age 58 he would have fun. He dated this one and that one which I wouldn't call quality women. Turned out he got Covid from one...(her coughing didn't clue him in apparently). He was in the hospital over a week, and is now a long hauler. If he had been better to his wife he wouldn't have gotten that, and he would have someone there to care for him. Now he has to quit work, and worry about finances. I guess I'm not seeing any fun in dating, especially at that stage in life.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Just turned 62, widowed past 15 years. and still dating women in their 40s to early 50s. I get the cringe factor of guys still dating women in their 20s but, at my age, a decade younger with children who have left home just seems perfect. The women my age or even within 5 years of my age that I see on dating sites, or who pursue me just haven't held up very well at all, with some rare exceptions.

What are you looking for at this stage in life? Just some random, short-lived fun, or a long-term relationship?

My nephew divorced his wife because he thought at age 58 he would have fun. He dated this one and that one which I wouldn't call quality women. Turned out he got Covid from one...(her coughing didn't clue him in apparently). He was in the hospital over a week, and is now a long hauler. If he had been better to his wife he wouldn't have gotten that, and he would have someone there to care for him. Now he has to quit work, and worry about finances. I guess I'm not seeing any fun in dating, especially at that stage in life.

Ah, if you leave your wife you will die. I’ll file that away.

[Anonymous]

Two rules for women:

1. Men can never be allowed to be happy.
2. Older women are entitled to older men's attention and money.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I think the ick factor is in proportion to age difference. My Bil increasingly has dated younger and younger women. His current gf is 20ish and he is nearing 40. I remember what being 20 was like and there is such an extreme power imbalance here. I feel the ick factor on her part too but I feel it much more strongly on him because he is so much older and should know better. It grosses me out and I avoid him as far as I can without making things awkward. I think he is emotionally messed up and is attracted to these young women for their youth and beauty. The women are naive and he historically always finds something wrong with their character without seeming to have much desire to look at himself.

Yeah, it's terrible to want those things in a woman.

No, it’s not terrible to value those things but you are taking the sentence out of context.

Do you have a daughter or niece? Can you imagine her coming home at 19/20 and explaining she has a 40 year old boyfriend. There isn’t a part of you that isn’t going to go “what’s up with that!?”. The reality is that 99% of men in that dynamic are not seeking to be honorable in their relationship with that young woman. That is a scummy component.

It depends. Is she coming home with a 40 year old doctor or professor? If so, sounds good. She should lock him down.

Ellen Degeneres is 15 years older than her wife and no one ever complains here about that.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Two rules for women:

1. Men can never be allowed to be happy.
2. Older women are entitled to older men's attention and money.

Why do so many men get put out when other men are criticized for doing a very rare thing? Unless you’re an old man married to or desperate to be married to a much younger woman, this has nothing to do with you.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Old men are hilarious. Really. You think it’s about you. It’s about their dad.

In my experience, it isn't. All the young women I've dated were from intact families, and have good relationships with their fathers. Those women typically look to date older because guys their age treat them like garbage.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Old men are hilarious. Really. You think it’s about you. It’s about their dad.

In my experience, it isn't. All the young women I've dated were from intact families, and have good relationships with their fathers. Those women typically look to date older because guys their age treat them like garbage.

Oh, sweet pea. Keep telling yourself that.

[Anonymous]

when I was younger men who preyed on younger women grossed me out---very repellent and I didn't understand why other young women were attracted to that. I guess because they make more money and can buy them nicer things.

I think part of why men go for younger women is power, denial about their age, and because older women won't put up with their BS the way younger women will.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Just turned 62, widowed past 15 years. and still dating women in their 40s to early 50s. I get the cringe factor of guys still dating women in their 20s but, at my age, a decade younger with children who have left home just seems perfect. The women my age or even within 5 years of my age that I see on dating sites, or who pursue me just haven't held up very well at all, with some rare exceptions.

What are you looking for at this stage in life? Just some random, short-lived fun, or a long-term relationship?

My nephew divorced his wife because he thought at age 58 he would have fun. He dated this one and that one which I wouldn't call quality women. Turned out he got Covid from one...(her coughing didn't clue him in apparently). He was in the hospital over a week, and is now a long hauler. If he had been better to his wife he wouldn't have gotten that, and he would have someone there to care for him. Now he has to quit work, and worry about finances. I guess I'm not seeing any fun in dating, especially at that stage in life.

Ah, if you leave your wife you will die. I’ll file that away.

lol No that wasn't the point. High Covid and sleeping around does have it's risks. I guess he didn't beat those odds.

I value my health first, and don't see the fun in randos but each to their own.