Why so much disgust felt towards men for dating significantly younger?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Predatory, shameful old man checking back in. Just got from lunch with a 28-year old exploring career options. She didn't seem to mind my presence much.

I never said there’s anything wrong with the *men* who want to date 28 yr olds in middle age. I said there’s something wrong with the *women* who go along with it. But I agree it was wise of this young lady to turn this date into a career counseling session. Better than just writing it off as a flop. When I was in my 20s all the professional men in my life kept turning my attempts to be mentored into attempts to date me. I should have flipped the script and used OLD to build out my Rolodex.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Predatory, shameful old man checking back in. Just got from lunch with a 28-year old exploring career options. She didn't seem to mind my presence much.

No one believes that you just came back from lunch with a 28 year old or that she didn’t mind your presence.

Ok you caught me. It was technically midday desserts. Sweet! The ice cream wasn't bad either

You know I didn’t think much of this until I read this guys comments. Now I am going to think of him when I think of older men dating younger women and it is pretty 🤢

Don’t worry he’s just writing bad fiction. There are whole Twitter threads devoted to making fun of men writing women, this would fit in well.

I'm going to take it as a compliment that you think my life is fiction. It doesn't seem all that fantastical or exciting to me. Just a day in the life...

[Anonymous]

Just turned 62, widowed past 15 years. and still dating women in their 40s to early 50s. I get the cringe factor of guys still dating women in their 20s but, at my age, a decade younger with children who have left home just seems perfect. The women my age or even within 5 years of my age that I see on dating sites, or who pursue me just haven't held up very well at all, with some rare exceptions.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Just turned 62, widowed past 15 years and still dating women in their 40s to early 50s. I get the cringe factor of guys still dating women in their 20s but, at my age, a decade younger with children who have left home just seems perfect. The women my age or even within 5 years of my age that I see on dating sites, or who pursue me just haven't held up very well at all, with some rare exceptions.

🤮🤮🤮🤮🤮

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:For me, I had a negative experience dating an older man in my early 20s and, I’m retrospect, he really fetishized my age and our age gap in a gross way. I am wary of this set up when I see it because I’ve seen it play out in unhealthy ways enough times.

I don’t think it’s always bad and I have seen happy couples with bigger age gaps.

Oh, also I find the opinion, when it is present, that only much younger women are “hot” and the younger the better to be offensive. I am 30 and I would not want to be partnered with someone who was disgusted by the idea of a woman aging.

Older women frequently choose to look less hot. They often give up on keeping the weight in check, often throw away the short sundresses, often get androgynous hairdos.

This is so true

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:For me, I had a negative experience dating an older man in my early 20s and, I’m retrospect, he really fetishized my age and our age gap in a gross way. I am wary of this set up when I see it because I’ve seen it play out in unhealthy ways enough times.

I don’t think it’s always bad and I have seen happy couples with bigger age gaps.

Oh, also I find the opinion, when it is present, that only much younger women are “hot” and the younger the better to be offensive. I am 30 and I would not want to be partnered with someone who was disgusted by the idea of a woman aging.

Older women frequently choose to look less hot. They often give up on keeping the weight in check, often throw away the short sundresses, often get androgynous hairdos.

This is so true

Disagree on the weight, Millennials have larger average waist size and bmi. See the teenage Tina Fey pic to understand why "thick" teenagers look like above-average older women -you just assume they are older. You are wrongly assuming fit gen x women are younger than they are.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Predatory, shameful old man checking back in. Just got from lunch with a 28-year old exploring career options. She didn't seem to mind my presence much.

I never said there’s anything wrong with the *men* who want to date 28 yr olds in middle age. I said there’s something wrong with the *women* who go along with it. But I agree it was wise of this young lady to turn this date into a career counseling session. Better than just writing it off as a flop. When I was in my 20s all the professional men in my life kept turning my attempts to be mentored into attempts to date me. I should have flipped the script and used OLD to build out my Rolodex.

DP. I think there is absolutely something wrong with older men who seek out emotionally damaged younger women as sex partners.

[Anonymous]

For me it's not "disgust" unless the woman is really young, like sub-21. That is gross to me bc those women are basically kids. If it's a middle aged guy dating a late 20s woman, I don't feel disgust. However, I do assume something is off or wrong with men who do this, bc otherwise they would be partnered with an attractive, age-appropriate woman like most of their successful peers.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:I think the ick factor is in proportion to age difference. My Bil increasingly has dated younger and younger women. His current gf is 20ish and he is nearing 40. I remember what being 20 was like and there is such an extreme power imbalance here. I feel the ick factor on her part too but I feel it much more strongly on him because he is so much older and should know better. It grosses me out and I avoid him as far as I can without making things awkward. I think he is emotionally messed up and is attracted to these young women for their youth and beauty. The women are naive and he historically always finds something wrong with their character without seeming to have much desire to look at himself.

Yeah, it's terrible to want those things in a woman.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Just turned 62, widowed past 15 years and still dating women in their 40s to early 50s. I get the cringe factor of guys still dating women in their 20s but, at my age, a decade younger with children who have left home just seems perfect. The women my age or even within 5 years of my age that I see on dating sites, or who pursue me just haven't held up very well at all, with some rare exceptions.

🤮🤮🤮🤮🤮

This came across as a punch of squares.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Just turned 62, widowed past 15 years and still dating women in their 40s to early 50s. I get the cringe factor of guys still dating women in their 20s but, at my age, a decade younger with children who have left home just seems perfect. The women my age or even within 5 years of my age that I see on dating sites, or who pursue me just haven't held up very well at all, with some rare exceptions.

🤮🤮🤮🤮🤮

This came across as a punch of squares.

DP. It’s puking emojis for me.

[Anonymous]

Have you ever been around a 40 ish year old man and her 20th year old girlfriend.

Her with her rainbow hair ties and fast fashion from h&m and her girly giggly laugh because she hasn’t fully found her voice yet. Going along with every date and nary an opinion on food choice or plan for the night. And him with his wardrobe of mens suits and random shampoos and conditioners collected from an endless slew of one night stands and flings. It is honestly a little disgusting.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I think the ick factor is in proportion to age difference. My Bil increasingly has dated younger and younger women. His current gf is 20ish and he is nearing 40. I remember what being 20 was like and there is such an extreme power imbalance here. I feel the ick factor on her part too but I feel it much more strongly on him because he is so much older and should know better. It grosses me out and I avoid him as far as I can without making things awkward. I think he is emotionally messed up and is attracted to these young women for their youth and beauty. The women are naive and he historically always finds something wrong with their character without seeming to have much desire to look at himself.

Yeah, it's terrible to want those things in a woman.

DP. There is a huge ick factor in men of any age using women as sex toys.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I think the ick factor is in proportion to age difference. My Bil increasingly has dated younger and younger women. His current gf is 20ish and he is nearing 40. I remember what being 20 was like and there is such an extreme power imbalance here. I feel the ick factor on her part too but I feel it much more strongly on him because he is so much older and should know better. It grosses me out and I avoid him as far as I can without making things awkward. I think he is emotionally messed up and is attracted to these young women for their youth and beauty. The women are naive and he historically always finds something wrong with their character without seeming to have much desire to look at himself.

Yeah, it's terrible to want those things in a woman.

No, it’s not terrible to value those things but you are taking the sentence out of context.

Do you have a daughter or niece? Can you imagine her coming home at 19/20 and explaining she has a 40 year old boyfriend. There isn’t a part of you that isn’t going to go “what’s up with that!?”. The reality is that 99% of men in that dynamic are not seeking to be honorable in their relationship with that young woman. That is a scummy component.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I think the ick factor is in proportion to age difference. My Bil increasingly has dated younger and younger women. His current gf is 20ish and he is nearing 40. I remember what being 20 was like and there is such an extreme power imbalance here. I feel the ick factor on her part too but I feel it much more strongly on him because he is so much older and should know better. It grosses me out and I avoid him as far as I can without making things awkward. I think he is emotionally messed up and is attracted to these young women for their youth and beauty. The women are naive and he historically always finds something wrong with their character without seeming to have much desire to look at himself.

Yeah, it's terrible to want those things in a woman.

DP. There is a huge ick factor in men of any age using women as sex toys.

How terrible to lust after your significant other!