Why so much disgust felt towards men for dating significantly younger?

[Anonymous]

I don't have a problem with it. A large age difference is creepy, but as long as it's legal.

It's basically a trade of youth for a better lifestyle. It's also called a parasitic relationship, and if both are getting their needs met it can work for a specific time.

Although when the older man believes it's about love and he's being fleeced financially then it can be abuse. Or elder abuse depending. There can be unhealthy dynamics with any relationship, but a vast age difference is often a red flag.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Envy from older women esp single ones

No, I would seriously not want to date a man who dates younger women. I’m the poster who did date older guys when I was younger and those men have concerning issues. Which is why they do so, they have predator tendencies. That’s why they target naive girls. Honest to God I would not be envious, a man like that does not command respect and really is looked at as a joke.

This. I don’t know any men I respect who date/marry significantly younger. Most people bond over shared life experiences and having a similar world view. For context, I (36) have some friends in their twenties - male and female. I love their energy and their optimism but there is nothing about us that put us on equal footing in the context of a potential relationship. Financially, professionally, life experiences, travel, etc etc - I am light years beyond them. It baffles me how men can overlook these fundamental differences in order to “bang” a young “hottie.” Gross.

Or, to put it another way, men desire the nubile, positive, life-vivacious younger women. That jaded, seasoned, rigid disposition is off putting. Older women are set in their ways. Why deal with the hassle?

What I've really noticed about older women is how self-absorbed they are. It's gross and disgusting.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Envy from older women esp single ones

No, I would seriously not want to date a man who dates younger women. I’m the poster who did date older guys when I was younger and those men have concerning issues. Which is why they do so, they have predator tendencies. That’s why they target naive girls. Honest to God I would not be envious, a man like that does not command respect and really is looked at as a joke.

This. I don’t know any men I respect who date/marry significantly younger. Most people bond over shared life experiences and having a similar world view. For context, I (36) have some friends in their twenties - male and female. I love their energy and their optimism but there is nothing about us that put us on equal footing in the context of a potential relationship. Financially, professionally, life experiences, travel, etc etc - I am light years beyond them. It baffles me how men can overlook these fundamental differences in order to “bang” a young “hottie.” Gross.

Or, to put it another way, men desire the nubile, positive, life-vivacious younger women. That jaded, seasoned, rigid disposition is off putting. Older women are set in their ways. Why deal with the hassle?

What I've really noticed about older women is how self-absorbed they are. It's gross and disgusting.

Aw, someone’s feeling butthurt.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Just turned 62, widowed past 15 years. and still dating women in their 40s to early 50s. I get the cringe factor of guys still dating women in their 20s but, at my age, a decade younger with children who have left home just seems perfect. The women my age or even within 5 years of my age that I see on dating sites, or who pursue me just haven't held up very well at all, with some rare exceptions.

I’m in my early 40s and single and I would NEVER date anywhere close to 62.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:I’m a woman. When I was 19-24 I dated significantly (10+ years) older. I had serious unaddressed and untreated trauma and was living hand to mouth.

In hindsight I recognize the profound power imbalance - I hardly knew anything about adult life and lacked savvy and sophistication in so many ways. There’s an “ick” factor when I consider what these men were attracted to in me. Why was a 36-year-old lawyer more interested in a 20-year-old cocktail waitress (me) than a professional woman closer to his age?

It’s exploitative and weird - I don’t care what any man says to justify it.

x100000

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Just turned 62, widowed past 15 years. and still dating women in their 40s to early 50s. I get the cringe factor of guys still dating women in their 20s but, at my age, a decade younger with children who have left home just seems perfect. The women my age or even within 5 years of my age that I see on dating sites, or who pursue me just haven't held up very well at all, with some rare exceptions.

I’m in my early 40s and single and I would NEVER date anywhere close to 62.

+1

Still gross, and still laden with daddy issues.

[Anonymous]

This thread just reminds me how happy I am to be happily married (who I married when I was in my mid 20s). Dating men was horrible. Creeps everywhere. Entitled creeps at that.

[Anonymous]

When your are a woman and hit 35 you are appealing to men 50+

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Two rules for women:

1. Men can never be allowed to be happy.
2. Older women are entitled to older men's attention and money.

One rule for you:

You may need women to be happy, but women don’t need men to be happy. I think this imbalance is what’s pissing some people off.

[Anonymous]

My father was 69 when he married a 48 year old woman. I was 43 at the time. He is definitely a predator and I find it sad that his wife missed the red flags. I mean, he rents out rooms in his house to college females. Fired from jobs for sexual harrassment, etc. I've washed my hands of him but feel bad for the unsuspecting females he encounters.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:My father was 69 when he married a 48 year old woman. I was 43 at the time. He is definitely a predator and I find it sad that his wife missed the red flags. I mean, he rents out rooms in his house to college females. Fired from jobs for sexual harrassment, etc. I've washed my hands of him but feel bad for the unsuspecting females he encounters.

How much coddling does a 48-year-old woman need? Surely she can make big girl choices.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I think the ick factor is in proportion to age difference. My Bil increasingly has dated younger and younger women. His current gf is 20ish and he is nearing 40. I remember what being 20 was like and there is such an extreme power imbalance here. I feel the ick factor on her part too but I feel it much more strongly on him because he is so much older and should know better. It grosses me out and I avoid him as far as I can without making things awkward. I think he is emotionally messed up and is attracted to these young women for their youth and beauty. The women are naive and he historically always finds something wrong with their character without seeming to have much desire to look at himself.

Yeah, it's terrible to want those things in a woman.

No, it’s not terrible to value those things but you are taking the sentence out of context.

Do you have a daughter or niece? Can you imagine her coming home at 19/20 and explaining she has a 40 year old boyfriend. There isn’t a part of you that isn’t going to go “what’s up with that!?”. The reality is that 99% of men in that dynamic are not seeking to be honorable in their relationship with that young woman. That is a scummy component.

OMG, it took 9 pages for the, what-about-your-daughter lady to show up. You are slacking.

I’m usually the the what about your daughter/niece lady, and I didn’t write the above. I admit I have been slacking off and will do better (work situation permitting).

So……what about your daughter/niece? LOL.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:I’m a woman. When I was 19-24 I dated significantly (10+ years) older. I had serious unaddressed and untreated trauma and was living hand to mouth.

In hindsight I recognize the profound power imbalance - I hardly knew anything about adult life and lacked savvy and sophistication in so many ways. There’s an “ick” factor when I consider what these men were attracted to in me. Why was a 36-year-old lawyer more interested in a 20-year-old cocktail waitress (me) than a professional woman closer to his age?

It’s exploitative and weird - I don’t care what any man says to justify it.

My girlfriend married at 41 year old guy at 26. She had no unaddressed trauma, she just wanted to be supported financially. He was clear that in addition to her youth and the fact they met doing the same hobby, which they both still participate in 20 years later, he wanted a SAHW to raise his two kids from his first marriage. It wouldn't be for me - 14 years is a huge difference IMO - but they've made it work.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:My father was 69 when he married a 48 year old woman. I was 43 at the time. He is definitely a predator and I find it sad that his wife missed the red flags. I mean, he rents out rooms in his house to college females. Fired from jobs for sexual harrassment, etc. I've washed my hands of him but feel bad for the unsuspecting females he encounters.

How much coddling does a 48-year-old woman need? Surely she can make big girl choices.

No, no, they have no agency whatsoever. We must infantilize woman at every opportunity. The fair sex must be protected at all costs!

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Two rules for women:

1. Men can never be allowed to be happy.
2. Older women are entitled to older men's attention and money.

One rule for you:

You may need women to be happy, but women don’t need men to be happy. I think this imbalance is what’s pissing some people off.

I don't need women to be happy. But I am learning that a young woman can bring happiness a woman my age can never produce.